Bunnielight
Member
I feel like I'm always coming here with issues, but this one was a pretty big one considering it's the first major fight I've had with my metamor. I just need to make sure that I'm being fair and have a right to be upset in this instance.
Pixie has batted around the prospect of threesomes for a while now. After she brought it up the first two times, I got triggered and had a bad emotional breakdown over the pressure. I let them know it would be more likely for me to handle my guys exploring that outside of me than I would being involved. I just need time. That happened within the past two months.
Over the past few weeks, pixies cousin (I'll call her Blondie) has been hanging around a lot more. Zed finds her quite attractive, which of course I don't have issue with. I don't blame him. She's a sweet and pretty girl. I actually like her a lot.
Apparently Pixie had been playing with the idea of them being play partners for a bit. However, she didn't say anything to me.
I woke up one day to find out that Pixie had talked to Blondie about "sharing" Zed with her. Still, nothing had been said to me.
This spawned what has become our biggest fight. The fact that she spoke to Blondie without even consulting me first. To which I clarified "would this involve threesomes?"
She said that was not totally off the table.
I also found out through Dean that she had inquired how he would feel about a threesome with her and Blondie as well. My concern is:
A) it's her cousin. I don't particularly care for that. If Zed wanted to pursue this on his own as another playmate, this would be different. But having a threesome with two people who are related reeeeallllly bothers me.
Should it? I know the whole twins thing is a kink for some men, but I've had incestuous things pushed on me since I was young. The idea of that makes me extremely uncomfortable.
B) Pixie has spent a lot of time stressing our friendship. How important my comfort level is. But yet I was the last one to know about all of this even considering my reaction before.
And finally
C) I feel as though they are trying to blaze their own trail for my comfort level.
"I thought that was something you wanted to work through."
I'm not closed to growth. I'm just concerned as to why the threesomes are so important. Why does that have to be the next step of my growth? I don't understand that. I feel growth happening in so many different ways right now. Is it wrong that it's just not a priority to me? And both of my fellows have expressed that it's not really priority to them.
I've only been poly right at a year. Dean and I have been together for less than 7 months. Is it wrong of me to ask them to drop it altogether right now? I need more time. I want to enjoy what I have right now. I want to be able to blaze my own trail of growth. Is it wrong for me not to want my men to engage in sexuality under incestuous circumstances?
I confessed to both of them that I don't want to control their actions. But I can't promise that it won't harm our intimacy and closeness if something like that were to happen.
I'm just not sure if I'm being completely fair or not.
Pixie has batted around the prospect of threesomes for a while now. After she brought it up the first two times, I got triggered and had a bad emotional breakdown over the pressure. I let them know it would be more likely for me to handle my guys exploring that outside of me than I would being involved. I just need time. That happened within the past two months.
Over the past few weeks, pixies cousin (I'll call her Blondie) has been hanging around a lot more. Zed finds her quite attractive, which of course I don't have issue with. I don't blame him. She's a sweet and pretty girl. I actually like her a lot.
Apparently Pixie had been playing with the idea of them being play partners for a bit. However, she didn't say anything to me.
I woke up one day to find out that Pixie had talked to Blondie about "sharing" Zed with her. Still, nothing had been said to me.
This spawned what has become our biggest fight. The fact that she spoke to Blondie without even consulting me first. To which I clarified "would this involve threesomes?"
She said that was not totally off the table.
I also found out through Dean that she had inquired how he would feel about a threesome with her and Blondie as well. My concern is:
A) it's her cousin. I don't particularly care for that. If Zed wanted to pursue this on his own as another playmate, this would be different. But having a threesome with two people who are related reeeeallllly bothers me.
Should it? I know the whole twins thing is a kink for some men, but I've had incestuous things pushed on me since I was young. The idea of that makes me extremely uncomfortable.
B) Pixie has spent a lot of time stressing our friendship. How important my comfort level is. But yet I was the last one to know about all of this even considering my reaction before.
And finally
C) I feel as though they are trying to blaze their own trail for my comfort level.
"I thought that was something you wanted to work through."
I'm not closed to growth. I'm just concerned as to why the threesomes are so important. Why does that have to be the next step of my growth? I don't understand that. I feel growth happening in so many different ways right now. Is it wrong that it's just not a priority to me? And both of my fellows have expressed that it's not really priority to them.
I've only been poly right at a year. Dean and I have been together for less than 7 months. Is it wrong of me to ask them to drop it altogether right now? I need more time. I want to enjoy what I have right now. I want to be able to blaze my own trail of growth. Is it wrong for me not to want my men to engage in sexuality under incestuous circumstances?
I confessed to both of them that I don't want to control their actions. But I can't promise that it won't harm our intimacy and closeness if something like that were to happen.
I'm just not sure if I'm being completely fair or not.