Fluid bonding mistake

As a permanent royal fuck-up in what comes to safe sex combined with good resistance to all forms of reliable birth control, the day my period starts is a cause for celebration every frigging time.

Now I'm back to condoms. I have had such a "brilliant" history with them before. Now I remember to change them after 30 minutes. :rolleyes:

Hormonal contraception for me works as a really good way to kill all my sex drive and make me highly unresponsive (or the other way around). I'm seriously considering an IUD, but I'm really worried about the side effects.

Abortion or adoption are really not options for me.

Because I'm on medication and want to be able to catch onto a pregnancy as early as possible, I can get a bit paranoid about the whole thing.

I'd love to be able to fluid-bond with my sweetheart, but am just too paranoid to really make it happen, unless he's snipped and I'm IUDed, maybe.
 
I have a copper IUD and like it. It's definitely made my periods heavier, but I had pretty light periods before, so it's not the end of the world for me. Feel free to PM me if you'd like any specifics. I'll spare the men folk the gory details.
 
I have a copper IUD and like it. It's definitely made my periods heavier, but I had pretty light periods before, so it's not the end of the world for me. Feel free to PM me if you'd like any specifics. I'll spare the men folk from gory details.

Please don't spare them! :rolleyes: They need to know.

Opal, I'm so glad you're not pregnant!
 
I have a copper IUD and like it. It's definitely made my periods heavier, but I had pretty light periods before, so it's not the end of the world for me.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like any specifics. I'll spare the men folk the gory details.
That's just the trouble! We men have been able to spare ourselves the "gory" details for too long! It makes us more likely to be careless and uncooperative.
 
Hormonal contraception isn't the greatest either. Personally, I am not only resistant but highly reactive. Depending on the dosage, I can go from (high dosage) almost manic depressive, to (low dosage) bleeding out for 18 days and a trip to hospital via ambulance, along with having to be put on a heart monitor.

As for the contraceptive side of things, my eldest was the result of sheer stupidity (I was 17-yrs old); my second was conceived while on a mid-dosage pill.

My third was, well, sheer thoughtlessness on my ex-husband's part, combined with my own inability to protect myself (abusive situation). I didn't know I was pregnant with my third until I was mid-term and starting to show, as I had periods the entire way through the pregnancy.

All up, I have had 7 pregnancies and 4 terminations (all but the first pregnancy/termination with the same partner*). One of those was mid-term. Each of these I think about every day, and wonder "What if?"

The mid-term fetus was perfect.** It was another pregnancy I didn't know about til I was at the 19-week mark. But I couldn't bring another child into that environment and I did not have the strength to leave at that stage. I live with the guilt and shame of those choices every single day. :(

It is the height of disrespect to "accidentally" fluid bond, and from what I have read in this thread, it wasn't accidental. He knew he wasn't protected. Others have commented on that, so I won't go into it.

I just wanted to get my own two cents in and give another viewpoint on the absolute necessity for proper protection.

*My exhusband was an abusive prick who took what he wanted, when and how he wanted. He was aware I was unable to take the pill or use other hormonal methods, and was uninterested in protecting me, until after the 7th pregnancy, when the doctors told him I was "unfit for the marital bed," i.e., I could not risk further pregnancies, unless he got the snip. Of course, it wasn't for another 6 yrs or so that I found out he had had affairs, and countless one-nighters, every year of our marriage. It's guaranteed he wasn't using protection there either.

**I just wanted to add the reason I said the mid-term fetus was perfect. After 20 weeks, it must be delivered as one would a normal full-term pregnancy. You have to go through labour, and give birth to a stillborn baby. This is a very traumatic experience for anyone, and from the perspective that you chose to end that life, mind-fucking, to put it mildly.
 
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So sorry to hear about your losses, FlameKat.

Since the "gore" is now officially out in the public, I want to ask TP and any other copper-IUD users: how do they put it in? Are you awake during the procedure? Does it hurt, and if it does, for how long afterwards?

Also, I read that during intercourse/fingering you shouldn't really feel the strings. Do they hang outside the uterus, or is that a sign that something is wrong?
 
Since the "gore" is now officially out in the public, I want to ask TP and any other copper IUD users: how do they put it in? Are you awake during the procedure? Does it hurt? And if it does, for how long afterwards?

Also, I read that during intercourse/fingering you shouldn't really feel the strings. Do they hang outside the uterus, or is that a sign that something is wrong?

For me, it was put in while I was on my period, as that's when the cervix is most dilated. I was also given a pill to insert vaginally the night before to help with the dilation.

I was awake for it. It's not horrible, but it's not pleasant either. The worst part is the cramping. They were very, very unpleasant for a few hours after the procedure (walking around helps!), and stronger than usual for the duration of that period and the next.

The strings do sit outside the uterus, though not by much. If your partner feels them, you might need to have them adjusted. If left too long by the doc, they will poke your partner during intercourse. This is an unpleasant sensation, similar to scratching (or so I am told). From what I understand, they will curl around the outside of the cervix naturally, when cut properly. Once, mine "uncurled", and that's when Mr. A got poked. I was able (with much maneuvering) to shift the strings back into place.

So yes, it technically is possible to feel them during fingering, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't enjoyed being fingered that way! :D
 
So yes, it technically is possible to feel them during fingering, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't enjoyed being fingered that way!

I know. But I just recently was fingering a lady and I was totally hitting her cervix. Like, I have long fingers, sure, but I think she had an exceptionally short vagina, too.

When I hit the over-sharing mood, there's no stopping me! :D
 
I just recently was fingering a lady and I was totally was hitting her cervix. Like, I have long fingers, sure, but I think she had an exceptionally short vagina too.

When I hit the over-sharing mood, there's no stopping me. :D

Well, it didn't bother my finger any when I was moving the string back into place. However, the same cannot be said when the string hits a more sensitive area, apparently.
 
I have a copper IUD too and was wondering what you meant about side effects. I can't really think of any.

I had very heavy periods before already, and when I stopped the pill for an IUD they stayed heavy, then after 6 months the duration got shorter. Now they're closer to 4 days than a week, and more "packed." I used to have 2 days of light bleeding before and after my 7 days of heavier flow. Now it starts strong and finishes strong, for around 4 days total.

I use a menstrual cup, so I'm not sure how much blood I lose now. I empty it every time I use the bathroom, but it's rarely full, apart from when I get up in the morning. When I was on the pill (I used the cup with the pill for about a year) I wore the cup at night, plus a giant night-size pad, and had to get up every night to change both, and then it was full again in the morning! So in short, my period is definitely much less heavy now. I know people say copper IUDs make it worse, but I think your milleage may vary.

I was awake when the doctor put it in. She just put the regular stuff she always does, then a tube inside my cervix. Then it was unpleasant when the IUD was placed in my cervix, and then hurt when the branches were deployed. I would say it's the same kind of hurt as when the doctor takes a piece of your uterus for testing against stuff (which she does every time I go, but I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone?). Possibly more intense, and twice in a row.

Then after I was out the office, I had a "vasovagal episode." That means I almost fainted. Don't worry about that too much. I have a history of getting them in various situations-- on the plane, sometimes on my period, sometimes when it's too hot, or I get up too fast, things like that.
I sat down, and my husband (boyfriend at the time, ex-husband soon... time flies) got me apple juice. I drank it and after a few minutes I was fine.

I also had it inserted during my period. That is standard. Afterwards it felt a bit uncomfortable. I could feel there was something in there for the whole day, and when I sneezed it hurt. But by the next day I was fine. I would say I've definitely had worse experiences just having my period.

I picked the smaller version that's for women who have never had kids (or who have a smaller uterus) and I recommend doing the same, unless your doctor says you can take the bigger one. It's only good for 5 years, instead of 10, though, so I guess it's your call if you'd rather have to go through it only once (if you think you'll need it for that long, that is).

They can be removed at any time. If you are replacing them with a new one, they usually do it at the same time.

As for the wires, I can feel mine with my fingers easily. I've had two partners since getting my IUD, been fluid bonded with both (in case condoms make a difference) and neither of them told me they could feel anything. But yeah, I definitely feel them when I put my cup in or remove it, or when I just check. I made a habit at the very beginning of checking to make sure it was still there, and I still do it occasionally in the bathroom. Seems silly, but harmless enough.

I have a friend whose boyfriend didn't like the wires, so she had them cut at the opening so that they're barely out at all. I think it would probably make it slightly trickier for the doctor to remove it, but otherwise that's an option if you don't want to be bothered by wires. Personally, I don't really have a problem with them, but it's really your call.

Do you have any other questions? :)
 
IUDs and fingering/fisting

TMI alert!

Beloved has an IUD that she is happy with. She did have a month and half long period when it was first placed and her first few periods after that were heavy. I'm told this is not uncommon. Her periods are now regular and not heavy but it took several months.

When I fist her, I can feel the string around her cervix but it is not a problem. I decided to go the Essure route because I didn't want a string hanging out and I wanted something permanent.
 
She did have a month and half long period when it was first placed.

You mean she lost blood for a month and a half? Yikes! My second period was like that, but it had been a year, so it was understandable. That was horrible, though. Plus most of the blood was coagulated, which didn't help.

No, I'm not afraid of TMI, people. :p

Anyway, my cycles got naturally shorter as time went by. So, a year between my first and second period, but then three months, then it got reduced to two, then one and a half. It stayed there until I took the pill. Now it's around 28 days, even though I'm off of it. My point is that maybe that's what it was for her, too.
 
Heavy periods are not so much of a fright for me, but I've heard IUD makes your periods more painful, and you shouldn't consider it if you have a history of painful periods. I need to take the day off work/school on the first day of my period as it is. Will getting an IUD mean asking for two days off, instead of one?

Also, what is the reasoning behind doctors being somewhat reluctant to put them in women who haven't given birth? I heard that if you are young and haven't been pregnant before, your uterus might try to eject it, and there is a higher risk of it falling out. :eek:

And another side effect that worries me is that although nobody knows exactly how the IUD works (talking about coppers here), it introduces some sort of sterile infection :confused: in the lining of the uterus. Does it increase the risk of having a uterine infection? Should I be extra careful because I used to have yeast infections from hell?
 
Not sure about the first question, since what I've seen and read varies.

Reluctance to put them in someone who hasn't given birth could be because insertion is more difficult. Also, before giving birth, your uterus is smaller, and therefore more prone to irritation by the IUD. And yes, I believe my doc said the risk of it rejecting was higher because I hadn't had kids.

As for how they work, the copper irritates the uterine lining, preventing the implantation of fertilized eggs. I know I was warned about the risk of an infection due to insertion, and I think there's a higher risk for STI complications, since your uterus is now effectively propped open.

I get yeast infections about once a year, and this has not changed in the year and a half I've had my IUD.
 
Heavy periods are not so much of a fright for me, but I've heard IUD makes your periods more painful, and you shouldn't consider it if you have a history of painful periods.

I've had painful periods, but only while taking the pill (as well as migraines). My periods aren't a breeze now, but they're actually less painful. However, I assume that varies from person to person. It's possible that yours would be more painful, I guess, but I think the only way to know for sure would be to give it a try.

Also, what is the reasoning behind doctors being somewhat reluctant to put them on women who haven't given birth? I heard that if you are young and haven't been pregnant before, your uterus might try to eject it, and there is a higher risk of it falling out.

The womb is often smaller, but that's pretty much it. Really, they're reluctant to prescribe them to women who have had kids, too. They typically prefer things like the pill that they have to keep prescribing every month, and not just once every ten years.

It will depend on the doctor. Some are ignorant and actually think you can only have one if you've had children, or if you're over a certain age (I know a 15-year old whose first and only birth control was a copper IUD) or that they'll turn you sterile.

Some others find more advantages to have you take another form of birth control. I have known women who had to try a different pill once a month or so because none worked for them. Of course, the gynecologist could charge for a visit every single time. Some doctors aren't like that, but some certainly are.

And finally, I think for some it's habit. They know hormonal forms of birth control better, so they like prescribing them. Some aren't used to actually inserting IUDs, but that's really no excuse. They should be trained for it.

One thing with IUDs is that if you get a STI, the IUD can cause complications. So it's important to still practice safer sex.

Another side effect that worries me is that although nobody knows exactly how the IUD works (talking about coppers here), it introduces some sort of sterile infection in the lining of the uterus. Does it increase the risk of having an uterine infection? Should I be extra careful because I used to have yeast infections from hell?

The copper kills sperm. It's as simple as that. The presence of something in the uterus also makes it less likely for implantation to occur, which is why it can be used as emergency contraception (can work after fertilization, but before implantation, so only works if you're not pregnant yet).

I don't know about yeast infections, and if they'd make them more likely. An IUD doesn't make an infection more likely, it simply can make STIs worse, but they need to be there in the first place.
 
Question: I fisted a woman once who bled like crazy during it. Like, a lot. She thought it might've been because of her IUD. Could this be so?

I have only ever used condoms. I don't know much about anything else.
 
I know I've had some rough sex and been fine. Maybe if her IUD dislodged.
Hmm... maybe. Thanks. She loved it, apparently, but thought I might've scraped her. I was careful, though. I had my fingers around her cervix and on her G-spot. It could've been a number of things. I wasn't alarmed until afterwards, when she told me she wasn't on her period. She didn't bleed anymore after that. Dunno. It's a mystery that isn't mine to solve, I guess. Or is it? I'm confused on it, actually. Is it my responsibility to figure it out? (A bit off topic, sorry.)
 
I fisted a woman once who bled like crazy during it. She thought it might've been because of her IUD. Could this be so?

I have bled during regular intercourse before. I figured my partner was too rough, but maybe the IUD made it that way? Not sure. It doesn't happen with my boyfriend, so even if the IUD makes it more likely, it's not the only factor.

I wouldn't know about fisting, as even fingering feels uncomfortable to me, and I wouldn't want to go further than that.
 
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