Friendship?

Hopefulgirl

New member
Hello,

My name is laura and i am 23, transgirl, and lesbian.

No one in my personal life understands what it means to be poly. I have debated in my head for months if i would write here, but honestly, i just need friends too much not to write.

I'm happily, and i do mean it when I say it, married to my wife. We've been together 9 years, 9 wonderful years. I am not looking for a relationship here at all, just friendship.

But i also have feelings for my friend. They went away at first, but they came back. I've liked her for a little over a year. I've always known i was polyamorous. My friend isn't, but im not looking for her to join my relationship. My wife is strictly monogamous. i'm not, but i practice monogamy to make her happy and feel loved, even though i love multiple people at once. i guess this is where whoever is reading this comes in.

I need to vent, to anyone who will listen. I want to talk to my wife about my feelings when they come up, but i dont want her to feel unloved, even though i don't mean it that way. I don't want her to think i'm falling out of love, but i've been bottling up these feelings for my friend for a year. if i dont talk to someone about this and process it, i will end up confessing soon, which isnt what i want. i've already noticed the things i say are starting to feel flirty. i just need to tell someone about my feelings so i can get it out of my system.

I may not be monogamous, but i do think i can make it work. i just need to express my polyamorous love with a friend and talk about how much i cherish both these people in my life and how amazing they make me feel.

If you need to know my hobbies, i love videogames, a lot. I've recently been playing Elden ring. And i love mushrooms! I grow them for fun and love learning about them. I also love hiking, and before returning to work, I hiked 3 times a week and have lots of photos. I also love cooking, but i'll be honest, it's the least favorite of my hobbies.

I just need someone to talk to about my love for my wife and feelings for my friend. i cherish both of them and want to celebrate that love and feel pride without making anyone feel unloved or uncomfortable.
 
You're only 23 and you've been with your now wife since you were 14. Is this the first time you've ever had feelings for someone other than your wife? Has she been your only sex partner of your entire life? It's certainly not strange for you to catch feelings for someone else. It's highly unusual to go through one's life only ever loving one person, only ever having had sex with one person.
 
You're only 23 and you've been with your now wife since you were 14. Is this the first time you've ever had feelings for someone other than your wife? Has she been your only sex partner of your entire life? It's certainly not strange for you to catch feelings for someone else. It's highly unusual to go through one's life only ever loving one person, only ever having had sex with one person.
No, there have been a lot of people. Ever since i was a kid, i would have crushes on multiple people at once. I've always known i wanted multiple partners. She is the only sex partner i've ever had. i know it's unusual, but i do love her immensely and want to spend the rest of forever with her. but i do want to also spend it with someone else, at the same time, you know?

I do think the emotion i feel towards my friend is love. I don't think i could ever tell her, just because i don't want to lose her friendship, or make my wife feel unloved.
 
Greetings Laura,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I am happy to hear more about your feelings, if you need someone to talk to. Just tell me what those feelings are, and you can vent here if you need to unpack here. Do you need to talk to me privately? That would be okay. We have direct messaging.

I hope I can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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Welcome aboard!
 
Hi hopeful! You may want to consider starting your own blog here on the forum. It can be your place to journal about your feelings. It's your space and you can choose if you want feedback, advice or just to be your space to vent where others can follow and give support.
 
Hello, my name is laura and i am 23, transgirl, and lesbian

No one in my personal life understands what it means to be poly, i have debated in my head for months if i would write here, but honestly, i just need friends too much not to write

Im happily, and i do mean it when I say it, married to my wife, weve been together 9 years, 9 wonderful years, and i am not looking for a relationship here at all just friendship

But i also have feelings for my friend, they went away at first but they came back and ive liked her for a little over a year, ive always known i was polyamorous, and my friend isnt but im not looking for her to join my relationship, my wife is strictly monogamous and im not, but i practice monogamy to make her happy and feel loved even though i love multiple people at once, and i guess this is where whoever is reading this comes in

I need to vent, to anyone who will listen, i want to talk to my wife about my feelings when they come up but i dont want her to feel unloved, even though i dont mean it that way i dont want her to think im falling out of love, but ive been bottling these feelings for my friend for a year and if i dont talk to someone about this and process it i will end up confessing soon which isnt what i want, ive already noticed the things i say are starting to feel flirty and i just need to tell someone about my feelings so i can get it out of my system

I may not be monogamous, but i do think i can make it work, i just need to express my polyamorous love with a friend and talk about how much i cherish both these people in my life and how amazing they make me feel

If you need to know my hobbies i love videogames, a lot, recently been playing Elden ring and i love mushrooms! I grow them for fun and love learning about them, i also love hiking and before returning to work hiked 3 times a week and have lots of photos, also love cooking but ill be honest its the least favorite of my hobbies

I just need someone to talk to about my love for my wife and feelings for my friend, i cherish both of them and want to celebrate that love and feel pride without making anyone feel unloved or uncomfortable
Hey, I'm here. idk if you can dm on here, but I feel you in having little to no one that understands this. I'm also trying to look for poly friends. So text me and we can talk about the good and bad.
 
Hi welcome. for friendship. please write. As I am forbidden continent. My account blocks time to time when I search online
 
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, everyone! I'm quite relieved and happy I decided to post here. I've been debating it for a while. For the first time in years, I actually feel understood for who I am. It makes me happy to be a part of a community. I will definitely make that blog. It is such a wonderful idea to catalog my feelings for the two people I cherish more than anything.

Thank you :)
 
Hello, my name is laura and i am 23, transgirl, and lesbian

No one in my personal life understands what it means to be poly, i have debated in my head for months if i would write here, but honestly, i just need friends too much not to write

Im happily, and i do mean it when I say it, married to my wife, weve been together 9 years, 9 wonderful years, and i am not looking for a relationship here at all just friendship

But i also have feelings for my friend, they went away at first but they came back and ive liked her for a little over a year, ive always known i was polyamorous, and my friend isnt but im not looking for her to join my relationship, my wife is strictly monogamous and im not, but i practice monogamy to make her happy and feel loved even though i love multiple people at once, and i guess this is where whoever is reading this comes in

I need to vent, to anyone who will listen, i want to talk to my wife about my feelings when they come up but i dont want her to feel unloved, even though i dont mean it that way i dont want her to think im falling out of love, but ive been bottling these feelings for my friend for a year and if i dont talk to someone about this and process it i will end up confessing soon which isnt what i want, ive already noticed the things i say are starting to feel flirty and i just need to tell someone about my feelings so i can get it out of my system

I may not be monogamous, but i do think i can make it work, i just need to express my polyamorous love with a friend and talk about how much i cherish both these people in my life and how amazing they make me feel. If you need to know my hobbies i love videogames, a lot, recently been playing Elden ring and i love mushrooms! I grow them for fun and love learning about them, i also love hiking and before returning to work hiked 3 times a week and have lots of photos, also love cooking but ill be honest its the least favorite of my porno hobbies

I just need someone to talk to about my love for my wife and feelings for my friend, i cherish both of them and want to celebrate that love and feel pride without making anyone feel unloved or uncomfortable
Hi Laura, it sounds like you're navigating some complex emotions and relationships. We're here to listen and offer support however we can.
 
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