Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
I had some good conversation with PunkRock last night, coming home from the game store. Apparently his married friend who is disapproving of poly is not married. Her husband passed last December - the day I met PunkRock, he was coming back from the funeral. When I figured that out, lots of stuff clicked for me. I knew her husband's name, and the name of the guy that died were the same, but I didn't recognize they were the same person. So she is still in a lot of grief, I think. I know I would be.

Anyway, she was perfectly nice to me at dinner last night. I think there were 13 people from the game store at the restaurant, so we were a big group. PunkRock said he had been concerned about how our energy would be - between her and I. That surprised me, because I don't have any anamosity toward her just because she disapproves of poly. She is extremely catholic and now knowing that she is still grieving from a very personal loss, I understand why she would worry about PunkRock being involved with a poly relationship.

I told PunkRock that she's nice, personally. My only issue is if she is talking things in his ear about how this will never work out, or that I will eventually leave him. Negativity is something I would rather he avoid. However, that is his choice to make. *shrugs*

I have been feeling closer and closer to PunkRock the last few days. There is just this energy between us that is amazing. I feel as if he is a soulmate. We just fit together. He told me last night he feels the same. He said he has thought about dating this friend in the past, but he decided early on it wouldn't work, ever. He isn't religious at all, right off the bat, but also that she can't talk crap with him. She's just too sweet, he said. He said our dynamic is perfect in that our sense of humor is the same and we are irreverent with EVERYTHING. He's right about that, lol.

I told him I wasn't threatened by this woman at all, ever. He told me who she was when he introduced us, how she fit into his life, and I believed him. So I haven't lost any sleep about him dating her, etc. My hesitation about being around her is the disapproval she has for me, for loving PunkRock. I will never apologize for being poly or for wanting to spend my life with such an amazing man.
 

YouAreHere

Active member
Just wanted to pop in and say that you popped to mind twice in the last 24 hours: once, when Chops and I were out for dinner last night, and it was evidently Trivia Night at the bar. We decided we could do that. At least, up until the sports questions. ;) Second, when I saw an event at the local game shop for a Ladies' D&D night. I haven't played since the '80s, but thought, "Why the hell not?"

Trivia night looked damned fun, BTW. I can see why you enjoy it. :)

Back to your regularly scheduled blog!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Haha! That's awesome! We suck at the sports questions too. :)

I am writing from NY - my son's grandpa died. This is a grandpa from his birthfamily - someone we have had open visitation and contact with since my son was adopted. I drove up here today and we are staying until Monday. My son is with his grandma, I'm at my BFF's house tonight but I will be visiting with my sister and brother and parents AND my oldest daughter tomorrow and Sunday. There isn't a funeral for this grandpa - he actually passed a couple of weeks ago, and this was the earliest my son could travel.

So, here I am in NY. I actually cried a little bit after dropping my son off. The last time I was in NY was right before Christmas, right before M dumped me. I wasn't crying because of M - no, fuck him - I was crying because PunkRockAwesomesauce makes me so happy. Yes, he is awesomesauce. Let me explain.

He packed his pillow so I would have something to cuddle with at night, that's a biggie. Plus he's just so sweet and loving. Like, all the time. I was super out of sorts the other day and he brought up again how I just don't trust him. He is right - I don't. He's just TOO good. Sigh.

I can't seem to believe him, when he says he's here to stay. I keep waiting for him to change his mind. It feels inevitable. That's why I was crying - because this is my first time back in NY, and the last time I was here, M lied to me over and over again on the phone about me being a priority and not being an afterthought over the holidays. He said he missed me. And then later, he said that he was glad I was gone. So I am stressing that PunkRock will have that same response when I return on Monday.

It's dumb. I know they are totally different people. Oh, yeah they are! But my brain keeps waving and saying ALERT! ALERT!

Just an issue today. Sigh.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I had a very good trip, though overall it was exhausting. There was drama between my sister and parents, but nothing concerning my poly self. Actually, they failed to mention either of my partners. I brought their names up when appropriate in conversation, but didn't press.

I managed to squeeze in time to see some old high school friends, including a guy that was one of my best friends during our senior year of high school. We have stayed in contact for years, but he always faded away when he heard I was taken, in the mono sense. I came out to him as poly earlier this year, and he was very enthusiastic about the idea. It was good to see him over dinner with his current girlfriend - though I could tell that he is frustrated with her and they don't seem very compatible. She is someone I also went to school with, and I understand their dynamic - sort of. I honestly am surprised they are together. I am interested in continuing contact with him, as we have always gotten along positively. A LDR wouldn't be completely out of the question except that I don't believe I could be happy with that sort of arrangement. I need physical touch too much. He is a music promoter in LA. We didn't discuss the possibility, but I know both he and I were thinking about it. His girlfriend would not tolerate it though. She is very much pie in the sky in NRE right now. My friend is not. It is very obvious.

I also got to spend time with another couple that I love dearly - I was maid of honor in their wedding, oh gawd - back in 1999? 2000? They are just close friends and I felt energized after spending the night at their house. Um, platonically! Just hanging out. Lol

So overall, a good trip. C3 is actually moving back up north to be near his family and I was hoping to see him and say goodbye, but he bailed on me last minute. *shrugs* I was disappointed, and a little annoyed, but I had actually expected it given his anxiety, so I wasn't too pissed off. I went on to eat out by myself and then met up with other friends.

Upon returning home, I was very out of sorts. As always, I had this disconnect emotionally from my guys, since I had been disconnected physically. It was strange this time though - I wasn't horny over the weekend while I was gone, but I was desperately craving contact and snuggles. I am still craving it now, honestly. I feel like I can't get enough holding.

I am really stressed out over things going on. My days are scheduled full - but even though the activities are fun and exciting - I feel stress. List of things going on now and in the next two weeks:

* 3 nights of a hunting safety class, with PunkRock, DarkKnight and my daughter, so we can own a pistol
* teaching Astronomy class once a week, so planning lessons, labs and grading (Tuesdays)
* teaching once a week at co-op, so planning lessons and purchasing crafts (Thursdays)
* trivia once a week with friends
* orthodontist visit
* hosting a game night & dinner with friends
* chaperoning a group of teens as the only parent at the science center
* overnight trip 4 hours away with DarkKnight & PunkRock, to ride a steam train and stargaze
* attending a D&D group that is just getting established
* murder mystery party with friends where I am playing a martial arts expert
* afternoon tea with a group of friends
* cocktails & crafting with other friends one evening - I'm going to learn how to cross stitch while drinking heavily
* my birthday is Monday!
* my daughter's appointments - she's going to the Ren Faire, a sleepover at her aunt's house, the dermatologist, hosting a sleepover, and of course, all of her regular homeschool assignments need managed - oh, and her Coursera class starts today
* hosting Strategic board game club for teens at my house
* managing and attending a suicide prevention walk with my guys and my son, in honor of C3
* book club


That's everything the next 2 weeks on my schedule. I shouldn't complain, because this is busy, but it is also all unnecessary fun. None of it is really vital things that I can't skip if needed. Today I am actually unscheduled until the evening but that means I get to go grocery shopping and cram in math lessons with my daughter. I am also going to try and lay in bed for as long as possible, or vegetate in front of the TV until the afternoon. I need to pick my son up from work at 2 pm, so I will run errands at the grocery store, library and bank then. 5:30 is the last gun safety class and that will run til 9 pm for sure.

Ugh.

I need nurturing from my guys. DarkKnight is having difficulty with the 3 nights of the gun class. He is out of his element in a room full of redneck hunters. He needs down time between outings and 3 in a row where he is uncomfortable is not good. He needed me to hold him lots last night and so we were able to be supportive to each other after we went to bed.

PunkRock and I had an issue the night previous, after I came home from NY. I expected sex but hearing that I hadn't been horny and that I really was craving snuggle time had him mentally suppressing his own urges. So I was completely confused about him not initiating, and became dejected over his perceived rejection of me. It made me sooooo out of sorts.

I also am on my period.

My diet is out the window. Fuck all until October is my plan with that.

This entry is a lot of complaining. My life is awesomesauce. It's just full of crazy at the moment.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Let's see - everyone passed the hunter safety course last night, so yay! I was worried about my daughter, but she did fine. I had never fired a gun before in my life, but now I can say that I have fired a shotgun. Probably will be the last time I will ever fire a shotgun, as I just did it to pass the damn class. I don't dislike guns, I just see no value in my day to day life. I am still confused about how I managed to raise two tiny, petite daughters who love to go to the range! (My 23 year old just completed her 6 years in the military.)

The best part about last night was that I WAS nervous about shooting for the first time, but while waiting, both my guys took turns hugging me, rubbing my arm - just giving me quiet, strong support. It was great.

Today was the last day of co-op this month, and things went really well. That's always good! Tonight I was supposed to go play trivia but I totally ditched and stayed home to finish watching season 2 of Ink Master on Netflix. Wow, did my friends give me shit about that! Still, I needed a break. It felt good to be able to do nothing!

The best part - I gave both DarkKnight and PunkRockAwesomesauce the night off. I told them to go be introverted by themselves, work on projects, whatever. As much as I've been feeling like I need reconnection time, I wanted them to have a break since we'd all been stuck in that gun class for 3 hours a night for the last 3 nights.

So what happened? DarkKnight went for a walk with my son, and PunkRock hung out and watched 2 episodes with me. Then, PunkRock pounced on me and we had an awesome sex session up in his room. Heh THEN DarkKnight came home, and took me out for a drive through Dairy Queen and I got a banana split. THEN both guys disappeared and left me to watch my show without distractions.

Seriously, awesomesauce! I got the reconnection I needed without even asking. I told PunkRock that if I knew kicking them out for a night would make me irresistible, I would do it every night! Heh I am so fucking spoiled by these guys, it's amazing.

Right now I am curled up in bed, about to get some sleepy time sex with DarkKnight. I have to get up early tomorrow morning to take 4 teenagers to the Maryland Science Center on an Astronomy class field trip. I am not looking forward to Baltimore traffic! It should be fun once I find a place to park though. :)
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Busy couple of days! The trip to the science center went well, and when I returned home, DarkKnight took our daughter to spend the weekend with his sister - they were heading to the Ren Faire. Friday night we had a couple of friends over for a game night - we ate pizza, played games (HexHex, King of Tokyo and Crappy Birthday) and had a great time just hanging out. I love spending time with both DarkKnight and PunkRock as a three - I dunno, it's just fun entertaining others in our home together.

Yesterday we slept in late and then headed out for a four hour drive to Huttonsville, WV for a train ride. We ended up arriving in the nick of time - we were the last people to arrive, and the moment we boarded, the train left the station! What fun it was! Most of the ride was along a creek and it was just beautiful. We were seated at a table with four chairs - two on each side - so my guys took turns swapping out spots to sit next to me. Some of the other passengers were watching us, but I didn't overhear any negative comments, so that was good.

Anyway, the train stopped at a clearing along the top of a mountain, where there was a small bonfire and telescopes were set up away from that. Total, maybe there were 70 people? We had brought our pop up chairs, hoodies and blankets and we were seated on one side of this clearing, away from the fire and the hustle and bustle. The position of this clearing was amazing - we were ringed by forested mountains - and the sky was a large blue dome overhead, and as we sat, it shortly turned dark and the stars came out. It was advertised as the darkest spot many of us would ever experience.

The National Radio Telescope peeps were running the telescopes, and we looked at Mars, and at the Andromeda Galaxy. They were pointing out various constellations, but I knew them all already. PunkRock didn't know most of the stories, so that was fun to share. The best part though, was early on - we were all looking up towards Vega, and a HUGE shooting star streaked overhead and then disappeared. We all "awwwwwed" and a couple of people clapped. All 3 of us had seen it, and it made me happy and excited - a good omen!

The trip back on the train was sleepier and snugglier - both guys again swapped seats and I felt so protected and loved in their arms, as I looked out into the passing dark.

More so on the DRIVE home, as we spent over an hour on a twisty switchback road - Route 250 - which made my stomach unsettled. PunkRock pulled over after a while so he and DarkKnight could go pee, and I climbed out of the car and promptly vomited diet coke and KFC into the weeds. 3 times. Then I needed to pee - and I was uncharacteristically wearing pants (I normally wear skirts and dresses) - so I had to take off my shoes, socks and pants before stretching my legs apart and letting that go. We had plenty of napkins to wipe with, thank goodness! Anyway, it was pitch black dark out and rather than try to wrestle with my clothes, I rode the rest of the way home naked from the waist down. Neither guy complained, lol. (I was covered with a blanket though! Lol)

Anyway, after I puked and peed, both DarkKnight and PunkRock were very caring and concerned about my well-being - it was really sweet. They both rubbed my arms and back and generally tried to make me feel better.

Honestly, I went to bed this morning around 4 am, feeling content, happy, just completely surrounded and supported by love.

Then, upon waking up, I see a post on Facebook that just totally shattered my calm. Gosh, how to explain? Well, there is this stupid status getting posted around, that PunkRock stuck up on his wall, saying something like, sometimes when I'm bored I go into the garden and cover myself up like a carrot. Yeah, dumb. A few friends had commented, and I had actually posted twice. Anyway, this morning, he had a comment that was a link to a BDSM site, showing a picture of a naked chick with a carrot up her butt. She wrote, "Like this? Yes please."

I'm like, wtf? This chick that PunkRock had slept with years and years ago had posted it. This chick that he went out to lunch with a few months back, who propositioned him in no uncertain terms. Since then, he has had zero contact with her - and I have zero reason to disbelieve him. Anyway, the second after I asked him what was up with this crazy woman posting inappropriate garbage like that, she texted him.

I felt not so good about the entire thing. This woman knows PunkRock is mono, and he told her that. He doesn't have any interest in her at all - he said she showed up drunk and high to their lunch - but yet here she is posting naked pictures of people to his Facebook? In a thread that I, his girlfriend, is posting in? I just felt like that was both disrespectful and awfully forward.

I didn't like it. I still don't like it. It made me feel both possessive and jealous - neither emotion one that I expected to hit me so hard and so fast. Neither that I expected to have to wrestle with this morning. I was angry because I was on this wonderful high of happiness, only to be hit with something most unpleasant.

PunkRock said he still has zero interest in this girl, and that he doesn't want to be anything but monogamous with me. He said if he had any more time in his life, he wouldn't spend it having another relationship, he'd spend it painting.

So, I went and painted my toenails, as that is something I do to help quell anxiety. One of my mantras is "I respond instead of react." I told PunkRock that regardless if this woman meant this as a joke, I didn't like how it expressed a familiarity that didn't exist. I don't want to have to see things like that. I told him I would unfriend him on Facebook, if it happened again.

Where I am at with this - we are still only 8 months into a relationship together. He is not comfortable with the idea of me seeing other people yet, and I am operating under the impression that he wants a closed partnership where he stays monogamous. When some other woman posts sexual comments in a public place to him, to me it signals otherwise. And if this chick really has had zero encouragement - and zero contact - in years, then she is unbalanced somehow. I do not want to be involved in any way with someone who has no idea how boundaries and appropriate behavior works.

So, I figure the least response I could have would be to remove myself from the crazy person's influence. If PunkRock wants to be friends with a whack job, then that is up to him. But I don't want to. If he changes his mind and wants to date a whack job, then we need to have some discussions regarding that beforehand. He says no discussions needed, so ok.

Holy crap though, I was unprepared to have to think about garbage like that today. I was so very happy yesterday, and this morning. Now I think things weren't as I had thought. Which, again, honestly, I do not feel as this will become an issue, but hello anxiousness!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
It's my birfday! When I woke up this morning, I had actually forgotten - doh! My husband rolled over and snuggled me, said "Happy Birthday" and then I remembered! Lol I think I will be going back to sleep shortly, but I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I am now 37 (in a row?!).
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Gosh, what a good birthday! DarkKnight made me homemade carrot cake cupcakes with pink icing. PunkRockAwesomesauce presented me with two fully painted figures for my WarMachine Army - two versions of the warcaster Haley. He is still in the process of completing a couple of units as well! My kids bought me the Cannibalism expansion set to my Lifeboat game, and the game Love Letter - which was suggested to me here, in my blog. :) I had added it to my amazon wish list on that recommendation - whoo hoo!

I spent most of the day in bed, working on planning and grading for my Astronomy class and assisting my daughter with her homeschool assignments. Then I showered, ate cupcakes, opened presents and then played a game of both Love Letter and my other new game - King of Tokyo. After, we all watched an episode of FireFly. 2 more to go, plus the movie! It's all new to PunkRock, so it's been fun rewatching the show with someone who has never seen it!

Speaking of PunkRock, we had a really good talk the other night - I felt validated and secure in our relationship after. I shared some deeply personal information with him that only DarkKnight has been privy to, so it felt good to share, to show him I do want to trust him. Yesterday morning he came to visit me in my room and he told me he was laying in bed, and a thought occurred to him that he wanted to share. He says he feels like he is home. He isn't waiting to see if this is a situation that is going to work out any more - he feels like this is just his life now. I was really shocked - startled? - surprised - that he came to articulate this to me. He was so sweet and earnest when he said it and it was clear he was happy to share this with me. Of course, it was a joyous thing to hear! Especially given my insecurity the other day.

Cleaned up some of my friends list yesterday too - deleted a couple of old boyfriends that I haven't talked to since we parted ways, and I deleted the dude that asked me to please come poop in some panties, that one time. Sadly enough, I missed wiping out one guy, and he actually messaged me a private happy birthday message last night. I was really surprised to hear from him - though he's been fairly regular, every couple of months checking in on how I am doing and if I am available to date again.

Which really confuses me! I am not all that. I am not sure why some guys persist - not in a creepy way - they are just willing to wait and see. Why? Especially now - ugh - I know I've gained at least 5 pounds recently. I need to get back on my diet and count calories again. I'm married, middle-aged, overweight and not particularly what anyone would describe as a knockout. Mostly I think these guys are nuts.

DarkKnight says that's all my issues in a nutshell - that if my own self worth were higher, I wouldn't have so many disconnects with PunkRock when it comes to trust. He says PunkRock is completely infatuated, head over heels in love and I am still unsure whether to believe it because I don't think it's possible.

I personally do think it's possible, but he's right in that I do have down times where I just can't believe it. Which, of course, is what PunkRock says frustrates and saddens him so. I don't know what to do about this though - I look through the needs list and sometimes I can figure it out, and other times I can't.

Today is a good day though, and so was yesterday. Overall, life is grand.

Oh! We had a short silly discussion last night about changing my name - I would be dropping my current middle name and replacing it with PunkRock's last name. He said he thought I should change it to something more interesting, like MonkeyLord. In the end, we settled on MurderFace. I told him I wasn't making any changes until 1 - after we move and have a commitment ceremony, but more important 2 - we make it through our cell phone contract and start another. I need to make sure he isn't just using me as a setup to scam me out of the iPhone 8 in the future. :)
 
Which really confuses me! I am not all that. I am not sure why some guys persist - not in a creepy way - they are just willing to wait and see. Why? Especially now - ugh - I know I've gained at least 5 pounds recently. I need to get back on my diet and count calories again. I'm married, middle-aged, overweight and not particularly what anyone would describe as a knockout. Mostly I think these guys are nuts.

DarkKnight says that's all my issues in a nutshell - that if my own self worth were higher, I wouldn't have so many disconnects with PunkRock when it comes to trust. He says PunkRock is completely infatuated, head over heels in love and I am still unsure whether to believe it because I don't think it's possible.

I personally do think it's possible, but he's right in that I do have down times where I just can't believe it. Which, of course, is what PunkRock says frustrates and saddens him so. I don't know what to do about this though - I look through the needs list and sometimes I can figure it out, and other times I can't.


I can so relate to this. I actually talked about it with my therapist in our last visit. We were talking about how the two men I have dated the longest both have mental health issues, which lead into my caretaking tendencies. He asked why I feel like I need to take care of other people and I said "This sounds cynical, but it's because I then feel justified in taking up space in their life, because I'm giving them something back." This need to feel justified goes back to my childhood, but that's another story. The fact of the matter is that most people don't feel this overwhelming need to justify their being in someone's life. I'm working on accepting that I don't need to justify who I am, why I'm here, etc. That I'm a good person, with good qualities, and that is enough. I left the appointment really shaken. I would feel so bad if my children felt like they needed to do things in order to justify them being alive and taking up my resources (which is how I felt growing up).

It sounds to me like maybe you are struggling with the same things I am. Feeling not good enough, not understanding why the people in your life would want to be with you because you're not all that. I so understand.

I started re-reading a book I bought last year by Brene Brown, who is a researcher who specializes in shame researcher. It's called "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are." I wasn't in a place last year that I really got much out of it, it was interesting, but I didn't really internalize it. This year I'm getting tons out of it. Interestingly, it lists caretaking as a way of numbing bad feelings. I'm sure I've done that. It's a really good book and I thought that maybe it'd help you to.

Here's a link to Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability (it's the reason I got the book in the first place, someone posted it on their Facebook wall and it just spoke to me. I watched it about 4 times in 2 days. It really speaks to me.) Let me know if you like it too :) I'm listening to it now and remembering how powerfully it spoke to me. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

Hope today is a good day too!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
OMG! I bought that book like 2 months ago and have read it twice!

That is awesomesauce to have it recommended to me. I guess I should read it again! I will definitely check out the video. Thanks bunches!
 
OMG! I bought that book like 2 months ago and have read it twice!

That is awesomesauce to have it recommended to me. I guess I should read it again! I will definitely check out the video. Thanks bunches!

That's kind of funny that you bought it so recently and have been reading :). I found her other book, which I checked out from the library in audio tape form (I thought I was getting an ebook, helps if I pay attention) helpful also. It's called Daring Greatly. It helped me understand why I had been feeling so disconnected from my husband. I like the Gifts of Imperfection better though.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Wow! Today - wow! Started out the morning kinda feeling blah because I didn't have sex last night and there was no time for it just then. Traffic was backed up so my son was late to work. I dropped him off, went to Target to pick up some household stuff, then to Sephora at the mall to buy concealer and get my free birthday gift there. On the way out I saw a sale on dress shirt & tie combos, so that started a half hour photo and text conversation with PunkRock, only to finally hear that his job interview tomorrow won't necessitate him wearing his suit since it is business casual! Drove home, gave him some cash for gas and to pay a bill for me, and then took my daughter to her dermatologist appointment - an hour and a half away in Cumberland. Then, an hour and a half drive back.

I landed back in town at 3 pm, and caught PunkRock at the Goodwill, where he found a like-new pair of khakis and a gorgeous dark green dress shirt for a total of $8. Happy dance, as I was going to shell out $62 at JCPenney's! Then, my daughter and I miraculously found two major parts of her Halloween costume there too - which we had gone out in search of at other thrift shops previously. Booyah!

Kissed my man goodbye and rushed off to the grocery store. By the the time I had finished, it was clear something had to give - I still hadn't gone to Sam's Club or Walmart and the groceries would have to be put away. Sigh.

So I bailed on trivia tonight. That makes 3 weeks in a row. I got pretty teary, I have to say. Trivia is such a big part of my life and I really am missing it and my friends. Honestly though, I had to pass. I was majorly missing DarkKnight and he is a priority. We hadn't had a solo date night in...I don't know! Tuesday night he had his choral practice, and so PunkRock and I played WarMachine. Last night was a scheduled date night, but PunkRock and I ran off to a nearby game store to meet three new people to play WarMachine with, which seems like it will be a regular thing. I got spanked pretty bad, I have to say, but it was fun! Anyway, by tonight I was really feeling the loss of alone time with DarkKnight. So, I cancelled trivia and after I scrubbed out the fridge, he and I escaped out to Walmart, and then he treated me to Olive Garden for dinner. I had a fruity girl drink too! Then he convinced me to finish up shopping and we got everything we needed at Sam's - and he included a beautiful bouquet of flowers, which was really needed since my last vase has been empty since Sunday.

Spoiled.

But it gets better. We came home and I was just so exhausted! PunkRock came up and just held me, while laying in bed with me while I regrouped in my mind. He gave me a nice quick back rub too - I could have used a longer one, but DarkKnight had cut me a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and he served me a nice homemade chai latte too. So DarkKnight and I cuddled on the couch and watched some Netflix the rest of the evening.

Bliss.

What was also great was that while we were out, PunkRock took my daughter to the costume store to help her find the remaining parts of her Halloween ensemble. What a sweetie! I was so glad he was amiable to doing that. He's downstairs tonight, painting, as it's his night off. :)

This is the type of poly I've needed, wanted, dreamed of - I feel so supported and loved.

Course, tomorrow will be just as busy - but fun. I'm hosting my strategic board game club for teens all afternoon, and then going to a friend's murder mystery party. I have a part as "Bruce Leap" - a martial arts movie star. I'm wearing a white cami under a gi, so costuming wasn't that difficult this time. It should be entertaining - I go to these fairly often. :) It will be my first night out without either of my guys in a while too.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Well, I wasn't the murderer at last night's party, but I did guess who it was correctly! Yesterday was enjoyable and positive and it was great to hang out with my lady friends in the evening, even if I was dressed like a guy. :)

Today I awoke early and was off to the Out of Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention with my son and my two guys. I had thought it was a 3 mile walk but it ended up being slightly over 4. Still, it didn't overly wind me and we finished in the middle of the pack. We actually were near the front but then we all had to stop at a porta potty! Since most of the walk was through the city on sidewalks, I swapped out holding hands every mile with one of my guys. That made me feel very happy. I don't know - being able to be symmetrical with my time makes me smile. At the end, all three of us held hands to the bandstand to finish.

Both guys were very sweet and huggy with me today and that always puts me in a good mood. I like feeling cherished.

Tonight I went to a fun "cocktails and crafting" event held at one of my friends houses. I think there were maybe 7 or so people there. I learned how to cross-stitch, so now I am talented and awesome. I am doing this picture that says "I'm fucking flawless." It has a cat on it, and a row of hearts. It's perfect, because it won't be flawless. Lol I finished just the "King" part of the word "fucking" because it took me a while to get the hang of it and then I did a shot and drank two Angry Orchards. Not too much to be goofy but enough to know I needed to slow it with the needle!

There were two peeps I didn't know at the party tonight, so that meant some explaining about being poly. No apologies, but they were cool.

I added a new photo to my album of my guys and I from the stargazing trip we took. I have some from today but didn't have time to move them over.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Sweet! I just added a few more. For some reason about half the photos I try uploading via my iPhone error out as too large, but when I switch to my iPad, they have no issues. That said, about half I try uploading on the iPad end up flipped upside down, so I am going to attempt another update later tonight or tomorrow on my laptop. Technology is cray cray sometimes!
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
This is the one other blog I wanted to read ... speedread I admit, to a large extent, I hope that's okay. I see that every single day is not perfect for you but I think overall you and the two guys are pretty darn happy together. PunkRockAwesomesauce is so excellent when compared to M and the various other guys who were milling around for awhile. DarkKnight is no less excellent, and he and PRA both have impeccable taste in women. :cool:

Just wanted to chime in and give you all a high five. Carry on!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Thanks bunches! Yeah, not every day is perfect, but my life is pretty great, as a whole. :) It's ok to speed read, as there will not be a quiz later. :)

I am sleepy right now and plan to go back to bed soon. I say back to bed, though I am actually in it right now, with PunkRockAwesomesauce snoring beside me at the moment.

I've got errands to run today, and a bunch of paperwork to complete for my Astronomy class before tomorrow. Later tonight is my mom's book club, so I'll be eating out and my guys will be free to their own devices for a while. I need to do laundry.

Yeah, my life is normal.

PunkRock doesn't get paid until Friday, and he is out of his e-cig cartridges, so he's about to be nicotine-free. He is just going to quit for good now, I think that is the plan. I hope so. This week will prolly be not so good with his moods, I am guessing.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
I hope he is able to stick to his plan. I know he wants to quit the habit.
 

Savedbygrace

New member
This is the one other blog I wanted to read ... speedread I admit, to a large extent, I hope that's okay. I see that every single day is not perfect for you but I think overall you and the two guys are pretty darn happy together. PunkRockAwesomesauce is so excellent when compared to M and the various other guys who were milling around for awhile. DarkKnight is no less excellent, and he and PRA both have impeccable taste in women. :cool:

Just wanted to chime in and give you all a high five. Carry on!

Kevin is following me ;)
 
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