Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

Yay! My new washer and dryer have arrived and I’m spending the rest of my life using them, apparently! Lol We have a laundry mountain that seems insurmountable, but I am trying. So far these are working wonderfully.

MisterMoonbeam’s comet partner messaged me this morning and wanted to talk about him, and coming down to see him again. I have no objections, so I guess she can set that up with him. It was a nice conversation and I feel more than ever that she is a good person, with a good heart. MisterMoonbeam deserves all the love in the world.

Things are still going well with me and YellaBelly - we all went to the movies to see Across the Spiderverse last night. He took me to a pizza place right before, and that was nice. I’m uncertain about moving forward. I like him a lot in a friendly way, but I’m not feeling NRE at all, and I am feeling confused about a lot of things that are probably stifling that.

This morning I was checking out videos on my Ring doorbell, and I got to see my brother’s arrival last Friday at midnight, and him and my mother leaving and moving away at 6 am the next morning. That put me into my feels, that’s for sure. I currently have no way of contacting my mother, and not really wanting to anyway, honestly. It’s drama I don’t desire to add to my heart right now.

I woke up this morning to an amazing view, and MisterMoonbeam and I got up and opened the curtains. Then he gave me a massage. I do desire him right now - I wish it was his Friday off of work!



I told him that I wake up everyday in awe that this is our home. I also sometimes get teary, because I know how fast a life can change. The lies that PunkRock told me left scars. I think they’re scabbed over real well, but again, I’m back on the theme that great joy is only so amazing because great pain exists in the past.

I don’t want to think about great pain.

I need to shower today and head out to the bank to transfer money around for my son. I need to get the mortgage paid on our other house, and again, continue doing laundry.

This evening I would like to repot some begonias and have sex with MisterMoonbeam. DarkKnight is going straight from work to hang out with BeanBoy and eat Chinese.

I’m feeling not so good with my relationship with SirGawain again. He gave me the silent treatment yesterday and everyone but DarkKnight had something to say about his behavior at the birthday party the other day. I guess I didn’t really clue into it at the time, but after others pointed it out to me, it was pretty clear he was either angry, or upset, or depressed. I don’t know, and he won’t talk to me about it. He always seems to get into his feels when I start seeing another partner and I think this is no different.

However, it’s a guessing game, and I dislike those intensely when it comes to relationships.

 

[Bluebird]

 

[Bluebird]

I took my cat Harry to the vet today, and he’s now on Gabapentin for a while to help with the stress of moving. He doesn’t have a UTI, but he’s still peeing in front of the litter box. He’s been sequestered in a bedroom by himself for a while, so there’s no excuse for the foolishness, other than he’s unhappy about the new house. I moved him into the master suite just now, so hopefully a change of venue will help.

He also has some dental issues that are going to set us back $1000. Poor baby though.

I have been having some absolutely mind blowing sex with MisterMoonbeam lately. He put me in a rope harness last night and absolutely went to town on my body and I am HERE FOR IT. We’ve had more sex this year than we had in the previous 2 years combined. I think it has a lot to do with our relationship growing deeper, and his progress with his mental health. I’m definitely enjoying things, that’s for sure.

We are supposed to have part of a local polycule come over tonight to play board games, but I’m not sure if it will actually happen. I am cleaning up my bedroom right now for my kitty and also if they do come by, I’m not embarrassed at all the toys and stuff out from yesterday evening.

I invited SirGawain to sleep over, but he was very noncommittal on the phone last night. I had a conversation with him about how he needs to communicate more because he is actively driving me away at this point. Maybe he wants me to dump him - if he doesn’t, he’s getting into a negative loop that will absolutely circle around to that if he keeps just being weird and not letting me know what is going on with him.

Oh! MisterMoonbeam connected the pump this morning and our waterfall outside is working now. OMG it was like shining a beacon! We were swarmed with birds. We thought things were busy here previously, but wow!

 

[Bluebird]

Game night! We played Wingspan. DarkKnight won, and I came in last. I am looking forward to playing it again! Lenny joined us, but didn’t score a single point!





SirGawain did stay over, so I am happy!

 

[Bluebird]

I had a brief conversation with MisterMoonbeam today, which DarkKnight joined toward the end. I’m going to be putting together another State of the Union meeting, shortly here for us. We have a lot of new debt that we’ve taken on, and there’s a lot happening with DarkKnight’s house - or at least, a lot that could happen that we need to figure out.

I hate math and though this is much needed, I am not looking forward to working on numbers! However, it’s also a little exciting because I love thinking about the future and making sure our polycule’s plans make sense for all of us.

 

[Bluebird]

Home alone today and feeling somewhat melancholy. Overall life is good so I’m sure my mood will improve!

I’ve got a coffee date scheduled tomorrow afternoon with a guy from Facebook Dating and we seem to have a bunch in common. I’m also on Friday seeing that guy who ghosted me a year or so ago. We’ve been chatting and I’m willing to see where it goes.

Today though I am just being a bum. I need to shower and feed the cats. My cat Harry is at the vet having a tooth removed today, poor baby. DarkKnight is working late and will pick him up afterwards.



I had another amazingly mind-blowing sex experience with MisterMoonbeam on Monday. He did a regular tie on my arm but then did things with his hands and mouth and my toys - and his dick - that left me crying at the end. Not in pain; I was just completely emotionally overwhelmed. Like, wow. Definitely up there on the list for the best sex I have ever had.

He’s been walking around the neighborhood a few times a day for health reasons and I went with him twice yesterday. At one point he asked me what I thought about him reaching out to an old partner of his. I am a little concerned, because he ghosted this woman at the start of the Pandemic when his mental health was not good. He actually reached out to her after that previously, and she was glad to leave things as finished then.

I told him that I felt like it could go either way - I mean, she told him no already. So as long as he realized she could say that again, I didn’t want it sending him spiraling down and feeling bad about the situation again.

I couldn’t sleep last night - I had a call at 11 pm from a client who was hysterical about their cat needing vet care (got them a sponsor and an appointment today) - so I thought about it a little bit more. I texted him this morning when I got up (he’s working in DC today) that I felt like I was willing to give this guy who ghosted me last year a second chance, so maybe this woman would give him the same grace.

I think it definitely makes things more difficult when it comes to trust though. MisterMoonbeam said he was still thinking about it, so we will see, I guess. He says he is excited about the thought of dating and is feeling a boost in his self esteem because of that. I feel happy that he knows his worth.

DarkKnight and I have tickets to see the Lion King at the Kennedy Center soon and I am really looking forward to it. Our last theater show we only stayed overnight in DC for one evening, because then we had to race to NY to attend my nephew’s wedding. Well, as luck would have it, the day after THIS show is Frederick Pride, so we’ve decided again to only stay one night, and then meet the rest of the polycule at the event the following day. We still need to pay for the hotel but I am waiting as our finances are so fucking tight right now. Our vet bill today is going to be $1000. Gah!

I have been working on the State of the Union and we’ve agreed to have our meeting on Sunday. I actually reached out to the realtor who helped us buy this house and asked them to give me numbers if we were to possibly sell the other home, what we could expect to sell for and how much the closing costs would be. Just so we’d know. Without my mom there, we had to cover $400 of the mortgage ourselves last month, and my kids living there now contacted me this week and asked for assistance to cover some utilities as well.

I want to help them but I also can’t do it indefinitely. My oldest is also concerned about her employer not making payroll. I really really want to be able to sell the house to her next year once she gets her credit fixed, but I can’t carry two mortgages if she can’t cover the payments on the one she is living in as planned. We will see how the month unfolds.

We’ve also had informal discussions around the house here about what if we rent it to someone else, or what if my other daughter is interested? I honestly want to sell it to my oldest daughter to help her build wealth but right now just might not be a good time for her if her job is experiencing issues.

Also, if we sell it to her - or to someone else - the proceeds from the sale were to be rolled into a retirement fund for DarkKnight, and instead now we are discussing maybe using it to pay off debt. I just don’t know. We got an extension on our taxes this year and I have yet to take a look at filing. I’m hoping to have it done by July 1 but I need to find the paperwork in the stacks of boxes and totes we have yet to unpack.

Ahhhh!

Last night YellaBelly canceled our date and he’s waiting for me to let him know if we can meet tonight. I’m honestly not sure. I do have a date planned with SirGawain tomorrow - my bestie and I are going to go to his house and spend a few hours cleaning. He’s going to pay her, of course. Treat us to dinner. Not very romantic - I’m tired just thinking about it - but it needs to happen.

 

[Bluebird]

Got my period on the 7th. Ugh. It’s a little bit early. Lots of cramping tonight and my entire body is achy. It sucks.

 

[Bluebird]

I bought a new hair straightener and I love it! That said, my color at the moment is complete shit and I need to go spend $200-$300 to get it evened out. That isn’t happening anytime soon. I also need to get a new pedicure, so that’s why I am wearing sneakers instead of sandals!

In a couple of hours I have a milkshake date (something something all the boys to the yard) and I feel like I’m dressed ok for that. This guy and I have a lot of stuff in common and a shared mutual friend who we respect a lot, so I am excited. He’s kinda weird though in his texting - he can be somewhat abrupt. I’ve been talking with him since Tuesday morning on Facebook Dating.

He lives about 40 minutes away, so I am meeting him halfway, which actually works out great, because the place we are going is right near where my bestie’s house is located. She and I are headed to SirGawain’s house in the evening to clean, so I should be able to time things well.

 

[Bluebird]

Okay so last night was good - MilkShake was a decent guy and I enjoyed talking with him. He did have a loud voice and sometimes he didn’t modulate that which was a little bit like, uh, you’re talking about sex stuff in public! Gah!

He’s definitely getting a second date though. He’s been great with texting and communicating and we match like peas in a pod on our Fet kinks. We will see if he continues to wow me. Lol I found him direct and engaging, and he kissed okay. Lol

Tonight I had a date with a guy who ghosted me last year and it was very strange. He paid the total bill for us at my favorite hibachi place, but he didn’t want to hang out after dinner - so we legit had a one hour date. He said he had to go to the gym? Like, uh, ok? But then he gave me several kisses in the parking lot, saying he wanted to start a DnD group with me. Which honestly was a little unsettling because MilkShake also had said that yesterday. Like, I don’t need an entire DnD party made of dudes who have or who want to fuck me. But anyway, I was a little confused that I’m on a date on a Friday night but it only lasts an hour. Uh, okay?

I sent him a message after telling him I thought it was weird. He apologized again and said he did in fact want to go out next week. I told him the ball was in his court because this was strange to me! He said he would definitely be messaging me again, so idk I guess we will see.

 

[Bluebird]

My life is kinda crazy right now. First thing, the old house:

We are going to sell. After speaking to our realtor, and to a neighbor that is a realtor as well, it just makes sense. They said houses in our price range are going quickly - like only on the market for a few days - and we should get a good price without a lot of work.

We did some numbers on renting it to strangers, and I spoke with a property manager. I also talked to a couple of friends who have rental properties, or used to. All of them were discouraging, to be honest. When I made a spreadsheet, it just didn’t make sense to rent it. I also feel exhausted when I think about dealing with that!

So yesterday my entire polycule showed up - and my son - and we emptied our two car garage. It was SOLIDLY packed with MisterMoonbeam’s storage unit stuff and my Blessing Box items, plus the last truckload from our move (it was raining and pitch dark at that point of our move, so stuff got shoved here).

We had people stopping by all day as I posted things we were giving away, and we had a portion of our lawn just full of miscellaneous items for others to take. A lady from a church took hand and toe warmers, as well as canned food and toothbrushes for their outreach to homeless.

At the end of the night we had an entire van of trash to get rid of, and MisterMoonbeam made two trips in the car to donate leftover nonsense. We maybe looked at 2/3 of the boxes and totes, and organized that amount as well. My basement is now super full of crafting and art supplies, but that is a future me problem! Lol

We made space so all of the items my mom left in the old house could be moved to our new place. I’m NOT paying for a storage unit. The plan is for DarkKnight to stop by the old house after work and bring her things over the course of a few days in the van. We’re also not interested in paying for a UHaul!

Once her stuff is all out, we will start cleaning and getting the house staged for sale. My oldest daughter is almost completely moved out now, and my son will start packing soon. I hope to be able to get the place on the market by mid-July.

I know we are going to spend some money on flowers for the front porch, and maybe install carpeting in the bedrooms. That I will follow the suggestion of the realtor about. My main worry is the partially finished side of basement - my oldest daughter pretty much took out every distinctive thing we had done down there, including tearing up the carpet and painting the subfloor to leave it bare. I might have to really spend some money here to cover that and install some furniture to make the spaces have a purpose.

We will see!

 

[Bluebird]

Last night MisterMoonbeam and I had a date night, and we spent it at Home Depot. I ended up buying $100 worth of items - paint for the sunporch floor, paint for the front porch floor, some ferns for the patio. All for the old house. We didn’t buy a lot of things - it looks like I am going to have to purchase the items online. Imma do that today.

I honestly didn’t sleep until 3 am this morning, and even then, my body was fighting it. I’m majorly stressed out. I made a post on Sunday, letting my community know that the Blessing Box was not opening in any capacity this year. I don’t have the energy or spoons. Now that I have to focus on selling our other property - it’s going to take all of my effort.

I feel sick about it, but my focus has got to be getting rid of this other house. I’m also really really upset and angry that I have allowed my
Mom to put me into this position. Like, I love our new house, but getting rid of this second mortgage now is a priority, and it’s insane that I allowed this financial instability to happen.

My insomnia last night was equal parts excitement at planning the staging for the old house, and hurt and anger at my mom, and fear of what will happen if this property takes too long to sell.

 

[Bluebird]

My bestie’s mom has cancer. We figured that she did, as she just had a mass the size of an orange removed, as well as a part of her colon. She was in pain for weeks and had lost quite a bit of weight, but the emergency room sent her home! She finally went to a different hospital and they caught what was going on right away.

She has a PET scan next week so we will know grading and staging then.

I have so much going on right now, but I will 100% be here for my bestie and give her whatever support she needs. What surprised me was how amazing my nesting partners were last night when she called, hysterically crying and needing to talk to me. DarkKnight graciously gave up his night with me, so she could come be held and not be alone if she needed it, and MisterMoonbeam went to the store and bought her some lactose-free ice cream so she’d have something yummy to eat while here.

Ultimately, she didn’t come over last night (though she called me multiple times) but I was still so amazed at how much love my partners share with those also in my life.

 

[Bluebird]

I spent the afternoon at my old house, starting the “getting ready to sell” process. I painted the front porch floor, repotted some flowers and cleaned the living room. My son went with me to buy a new rug. I’m exhausted now, and I’m going to work on a list of things to get done there for the weekend. Number one is to fill the living room with LIGHT. Lots of lamps will be leaving my current home for a bit to brighten up the space.

BugGirl was supposed to move out her motorcycle tonight - she had to get a new battery so it would start.






It makes me sad - this is such a cute little house. I miss it a tiny bit, not gonna lie. I will be happy to not have two payments anymore though. Especially since Blackbird Manor is almost three times the monthly mortgage.



That lamp there is NOT staying. I’m not sure why it even exists in my house, to be honest! It was one of 200 that got donated to the Blessing Box from a hotel a few years back. I was surprised to see it in my living room! The walls are all bare - I’m not sure if I should add some art or not for staging. I figure the realtor will let us know. She’s coming out on Tuesday to take a look.

 

[Bluebird]

Had another date with Milkshake Friday night and then I ended it. He’s nice enough, but I was not feeling a spark. We had dinner, walked around the mall and then went to my house and watched two episodes of Black Mirror. I didn’t give him any signals, so we literally watched Black Mirror. Sigh. I just wasn’t feeling it. He’s perfectly nice, but I’m very eh. It also didn’t make me feel good that he only has online relationship poly-experience, and is widowed as of two years ago. I’m not looking for a struggle, and I definitely would prefer a guy who already has established in-person partners.

I’m writing this sitting in my old house’s living room. My nesting partners and my son have been here since 11 am, working in the space. MisterMoonbeam did a bunch of measuring and went shopping for mini blinds and odds & ends, and then installed them. BeanBoy spent time packing up and loading the van with boxes, and then the two of them went to drop them off in the room BeanBoy will once again be renting from a friend. DarkKnight did touch up painting in the kitchen, cleaned the appliances and routed out a new doorknob hole for the sunporch door.

I hired a cleaner to come out and do MisterMoonbeam’s old bedroom (which was completely empty) and to freshen up the upstairs bathroom. He did a great job! I paid him $20/hour - it took 3 and I am very satisfied with the work.



I spent the time making lists, plugging in lamps, and scraping glue off of the wall in the basement.

 

[Bluebird]

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. My two oldest are taking DarkKnight out to a Thai place for lunch and then to see The Flash movie. I’m home in bed still, snuggling with MisterMoonbeam.

Last night we were up late. My bestie brought a new love interest over and my polycule played the first scenario in Zombicide - Wulfsburg. I have to say it was one of the most fun versions of this game, and I’ve played it a lot! The new mechanic with their wolfz was scary (lol) and the new weapons made it fun. I managed to pull a Chaos Bow, and I was able to shoot it and explode all sorts of zombies! I am looking forward to playing it again. Oh, and the new guy was nice. He seems to be lovebombing my friend a bunch so that’s a concern, but he seems to really like her. So idk.

Anyway, last night I thought SirGawain was going to sleepover. He didn’t, and didn’t give me a reason why. After he left, I texted and asked him why he canceled and he said he thought it would be presumptuous of him to assume that I wanted him to stay here. I was very confused by this. I still am. I’ve written him a few messages but didn’t send anything yet.

I’m no longer feeling joy in that relationship. I’m just confused all the time.

DarkKnight was confused as well, but was happy to snag an extra night with me. When he got up this morning, MisterMoonbeam slid into the spot next to me, and we had some discussion about his stepsons and their families and some serious stuff in his past with his ex. It was definitely a good conversation.

I’m not sure what the plan is today - I don’t really want to put on clothes and be an adult. More games would be good, I think!

 

[Bluebird]

Today I am tired. I just got home from a first date in Frederick. The gentleman lives in Virginia, and is about an hour from me, so that was a good halfway point for both of us. I was 40 minutes late for the date because he changed the time, and then said he was leaving like a half hour late, so I delayed leaving and didn’t realize he was still going to be early? Thankfully he waited at the coffee shop for me. I was mortified.

I liked him but he has a LOT going on. He got teary on at least 4 occasions during the date, and he sort of used me as a vent. He has a lot of positives, however, including bunches of polyam experience in the past. It’s always nice and a relief to talk to someone who can talk intelligently about relationships, communication and structure!

I will give him a second date for sure, in the hopes we can have a discussion that doesn’t involve crying. Oh that sounds bad! He was very open emotionally, and I appreciated that. I am actually sort of 50/50 on whether he will give me a second date! I think he was a little out of sorts at the end, and a bit embarrassed that he had been so forthcoming on his current issues.

He hugged me goodbye, saying that it was a little soon for kissing! Lol Okay! When he got home (which was the same time I got home!) he texted to say he was a little old fashioned, but that he did want to see me again. I guess we will see!

I am so fucking tired. Did I mention that? We had a bbq last night, and my bestie and her new guy were over again. We ended up sitting around the fire pit until 10 pm, and then I stayed awake until 1 am, on my Kindle. I finished reading Pride & Prejudice this morning. This wasn’t be first time, and I shouldn’t have pushed myself. Gah!

I was thinking of meeting up with SirGawain for dinner since I was already in his city, but I decided against it. I don’t have energy at the moment to talk to him about the myriad issues we need to discuss, and it would have been a bit of a wait before he got off of work.

Now that I am home, I need to sleep. I was hoping my date would be a bit of a boost of excitement, but I am drained from it and need a nap. I’m not sure what’s up for dinner but that’s okay. I will see when I wake up.

Tomorrow will be spent at the old house. Our realtor will be there after 4 pm to tour it, so I am hoping to get more stuff straightened up before she visits.

 

[Bluebird]

I had a full day. My first date guy from yesterday texted me all morning and we had a great discussion about all sorts of topics. I did some budgeting - ugh - and then went to the old house to do some more prep work before the realtor arrived.

I ended up having a short-lived breakdown and I cried a bit in the living room. I had expected to show up and do my listed projects and then wait for DarkKnight to arrive. Instead my kids hadn’t completed their projects from the weekend, and neither had DarkKnight. It just felt so pointless and overwhelming. Like, why am I the one here doing this and no one else cares?

But my son got his shit together and finished BugGirl’s project (take the sunporch door off the hinges and hide it in the basement). Then he then went and did his tasks (finish packing his hangout room and pull up the carpet tiles there). No one could finish DarkKnight’s thing - he was supposed to refit the air registers in the living room - because he left them at the new house.

It was very frustrating overall, but the weekend work did mostly get finished, but I was scrubbing down the kitchen counters when the realtor arrived. Like, DarkKnight was letting her in and I was a room away, frantically wiping things down. I resented this.

By the end of the visit though, I had re-centered myself. DarkKnight signed the contract officially hiring this realtor and filled out almost all of the disclosures. We are going to have a “coming soon” listing in a few days, while we finish up the nonsense. Thankfully, the realtor doesn’t think we have to do much, and we are going to list it at DOUBLE what we bought the house at, 6 years ago.

So at $259,900, our realtor thinks we will get multiple offers, and probably some above the asking price. She said right now the market is crazy and that’s a solid price point for our house. It will sell and we shouldn’t have to lower the price. I hope so! I want it gone and done.

Right now we need to take one more load of my mother’s stuff to our new place to be stored in the garage (we took one today!) and BeanBoy’s hangout room should be completely empty tomorrow night. Then we will have the shed to clear out, and the “unfinished” side of the basement, which is mostly BugGirl’s stuff she no longer wants. There is some stuff that is ours, but this space was mostly emptied when we moved./

YellaBelly asked me today to dinner, and SirGawain also did as well. I ended up telling them both no because my emotional state wasn’t really all that great. I’m now home and super tired.

 

[Bluebird]

I slept in most of the morning, and then spent most of my time today on dating apps and talking to the polyam guy I had a date with on Monday. I need to give him a name. Um, let’s call him AdorkableDude. He pretty much blew up my phone all day, and I feel like we are very very good at communicating over text.

The plan for us is to meet up next Thursday again in Frederick, and get a burger. I’m trying to think of an activity - I will chat with him tomorrow about figuring this out. I have some ideas.

He actually sent me a written document all about him, where he explained his previous relationships, his issues and what he’s into sexually. It was a little odd, but I did appreciate having all of this info to look at!

He is also planning to come to next Saturday’s game night, if the Thursday date goes well, of course.

Tomorrow evening I am going to see The Flash with SirGawain and then dinner after. I am excited to see him. Hopefully things improve between us. He’s really been pushing me away.

Let’s see, movies tomorrow and then on Friday DarkKnight and I are in DC with tickets to see The Lion King. This is a bucket list experience for me and I can’t wait!! On Saturday is Frederick Pride, and everyone is going to that with me. Hopefully the rain stays away!

 

[Bluebird]

I had a quick visit with YellaBelly on Thursday - he got out of work at 6 pm and met up with me at Starbucks. I had pretty much planned that I was going to split with him, as we hadn’t laid eyes on each other since my housewarming like a month ago. However, he was super cute (omg) and so friendly and upbeat - I couldn’t do it. Also, he brought up the topic immediately, saying we’d both been busy but he didn’t want to stop seeing me.

After some discussion, yeah, we’re going to just try and make some time. He’s on my calendar for tomorrow evening now.

SirGawain and I met up after, on Thursday night, at the movie theater to see The Flash. I felt like we had a good date, and he was looking cute. We had food at the diner right nearby and then talked a bit in the car before parting ways.

Unfortunately, he smelled like cat urine again. This time it was more like stale cat pee, as if his cat used the restroom nearby, or he sat the clean clothes on a piece of furniture that had been peed on? I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to ruin the date, but it was pretty gross. Also, it makes me worried that he doesn’t realize the smell - he was dressed in stuff he had worn to work!

I did bring it up to him tonight though, as he actually smelled fine at Pride and at game night later. He didn’t really say anything in response.

Today we had an issue, but not really? We were at Pride and his ex was there with her cheating partner. She didn’t see him, he didn’t think, but he was very distressed and dissuaded the rest of us to move along quickly - we had stopped to take some group photos. Later, I was waiting on a porta potty, and she walked right past me, and gave me a smirk. I gave her a wide smile, and then after she went by, I gestured to MisterMoonbeam (who was right next to me) to look and see.

She honestly looked old AF and her boyfriend looked like a baby man. Lol I know there’s a wide range in their ages, and it honestly was as if she was walking with a grandchild. I don’t think they’re THAT far apart in ages, but she looked rough. To be fair, I have always thought that.

Soooo today was Pride, and I was annoyed because the outfit I had purchased to wear caused me some aggravation. The shirt was a size too big so it looked baggy overtop my tulle tutu. This made me feel huge as hell. Sigh.

Me & DarkKnight




My bestie and her current partner came with my polycule to Pride, and that was nice. He got upset at the end though, because I made a comment about my bestie and I having made out with the same guy ten years ago, at a party. When we got back to my house, he told her he was panicking about hearing “intimate details” about her previous partners. I guess this made her mad, and confused, because it wasn’t that intimate, and it was a decade ago.

She came in to tell me he wanted to go somewhere with her to talk about it. She said she was very confused, and it was a red flag. MisterMoonbeam asked me if I thought this new guy would be okay now with her going to a Burn, because he almost brought up in conversation that though Bestie and I made out separately with this other guy long ago, he knew more recently she had slept with a guy at our house, that had previously had sex with his comet partner, so we were more closely connected that way! When I texted that to my bestie, she was like, it’s super great that he hadn’t said anything like that! Because yeah, that would have put her in a world of shit probably.

Which I’m like, can the dude not handle hearing that you, at almost age 40, have had other partners before him? This is the same dude that has been love bombing her hard. They’ve been together like 2 weeks now. YellaBelly actually texted me tonight that he had checked out this guy’s Facebook, and he was surprised to see all the posts that have been made by this dude, just dripping with NRE and seeming very intense.

So I don’t know what’s going to happen. We have been cautioning my friend as he does seem very intense and dizzy in “love.” She also has been saying that she isn’t that into him yet and it’s concerning. She texted me later tonight saying that she thinks he’s calmed down now and is a little embarrassed (?) maybe. I told her well I am cool with whatever. But she needs to be cool with it, not me. I’m fine with not mentioning anyone she’s ever made out with, in front of him again.

SirGawain is spending the night tonight. My 3 guys and I had a winning game of Zombicide: Wulfsburg after ordering some food from Atomic Wings.

Oh! I heard from AdorkableDude today a few times via text, and he said he shared the info about my safe sex practices with his wife today. He said she didn’t see any red flags and that she was looking forward to meeting me, after our next date. Which surprised me a little, because I was thinking that he might pull back given the craziness going on at his house right now.

 

[JaneQSmythe]

I had a quick visit with YellaBelly on Thursday - he got out of work at 6 pm and met up with me at Starbucks. I had pretty much planned that I was going to split with him, as we hadn’t laid eyes on each other since my housewarming like a month ago. However, he was super cute (omg) and so friendly and upbeat - I couldn’t do it. Also, he brought up the topic immediately, saying we’d both been busy but he didn’t want to stop seeing me.

After some discussion, yeah, we’re going to just try and make some time. He’s on my calendar for tomorrow evening now.

SirGawain and I met up after, on Thursday night, at the movie theater to see The Flash. I felt like we had a good date, and he was looking cute. We had food at the diner right nearby and then talked a bit in the car before parting ways.

Unfortunately, he smelled like cat urine again. This time it was more like stale cat pee, as if his cat used the restroom nearby, or he sat the clean clothes on a piece of furniture that had been peed on? I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to ruin the date, but it was pretty gross. Also, it makes me worried that he doesn’t realize the smell - he was dressed in stuff he had worn to work!

I did bring it up to him tonight though, as he actually smelled fine at Pride and at game night later. He didn’t really say anything in response.

Today we had an issue, but not really? We were at Pride and his ex was there with her cheating partner. She didn’t see him, he didn’t think, but he was very distressed and dissuaded the rest of us to move along quickly - we had stopped to take some group photos. Later, I was waiting on a porta potty, and she walked right past me, and gave me a smirk. I gave her a wide smile, and then after she went by, I gestured to MisterMoonbeam (who was right next to me) to look and see.

She honestly looked old AF and her boyfriend looked like a baby man. Lol I know there’s a wide range in their ages, and it honestly was as if she was walking with a grandchild. I don’t think they’re THAT far apart in ages, but she looked rough. To be fair, I have always thought that.

Soooo today was Pride, and I was annoyed because the outfit I had purchased to wear caused me some aggravation. The shirt was a size too big so it looked baggy overtop my tulle tutu. This made me feel huge as hell. Sigh.

Me & DarkKnight
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View attachment 4257

My bestie and her current partner came with my polycule to Pride, and that was nice. He got upset at the end though, because I made a comment about my bestie and I having made out with the same guy ten years ago, at a party. When we got back to my house, he told her he was panicking about hearing “intimate details” about her previous partners. I guess this made her mad, and confused, because it wasn’t that intimate, and it was a decade ago.

She came in to tell me he wanted to go somewhere with her to talk about it. She said she was very confused, and it was a red flag. MisterMoonbeam asked me if I thought this new guy would be okay now with her going to a Burn, because he almost brought up in conversation that though Bestie and I made out separately with this other guy long ago, he knew more recently she had slept with a guy at our house, that had previously had sex with his comet partner, so we were more closely connected that way! When I texted that to my bestie, she was like, it’s super great that he hadn’t said anything like that! Because yeah, that would have put her in a world of shit probably.

Which I’m like, can the dude not handle hearing that you, at almost age 40, have had other partners before him? This is the same dude that has been love bombing her hard. They’ve been together like 2 weeks now. YellaBelly actually texted me tonight that he had checked out this guy’s Facebook, and he was surprised to see all the posts that have been made by this dude, just dripping with NRE and seeming very intense.

So I don’t know what’s going to happen. We have been cautioning my friend as he does seem very intense and dizzy in “love.” She also has been saying that she isn’t that into him yet and it’s concerning. She texted me later tonight saying that she thinks he’s calmed down now and is a little embarrassed (?) maybe. I told her well I am cool with whatever. But she needs to be cool with it, not me. I’m fine with not mentioning anyone she’s ever made out with, in front of him again.

SirGawain is spending the night tonight. My 3 guys and I had a winning game of Zombicide: Wulfsburg after ordering some food from Atomic Wings.

Oh! I heard from AdorkableDude today a few times via text, and he said he shared the info about my safe sex practices with his wife today. He said she didn’t see any red flags and that she was looking forward to meeting me, after our next date. Which surprised me a little, because I was thinking that he might pull back given the craziness going on at his house right now.

I sometimes find myself in this weird dissociative place....I thougt we were all adults, neogotiating our wants/needs, using logic and smarts to head-off problems.... and then BAMMM! Junior High School hormones slam into play....WTF?!?! we are in our 40-50s? Most of us have taken further procreation off of the table. Who the fuck cares that I slept with your BFF in 1992? Making-out? Sucking face? That was several decades and quite a few "me"s ago!!! (and I may not remember at this point). Anyway, NOT relevant....