Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I ended up canceling my date with SirGawain as my medication side effects became so bad I was literally laying in bed, waiting to fall out of it. Extreme dizziness and nausea had me down and out all day. I messaged my case manager and I’m now not taking any Metformin, but I am waiting for a prescription for an extended release version to be sent over. I’m going to start taking that after ai get back from DC this weekend.

Instead I did see SirGawain tonight, and we went to Outback and then spent the rest of the evening just talking. His entire demeanor had changed, with both the job offer and his weight loss. He was extremely attractive to me! Not like he was ever hideous or anything, but it was a marked change.

He’s going to come to my house on Sunday night to celebrate my birthday - that’s when DarkKnight will be making me some carrot cake cupcakes.

I tried on a dress that I bought last year and I loved how it looked on me tonight. I think SirGawain liked it too!

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DarkKnight and I had a blast in DC this weekend! We went to the Air & Space Museum and saw two Planetarium shows, before seeing Moulin Rouge at the Kennedy Center. I was grinning like a fool the entire time. We got rained out on Saturday, but don’t we look cute?!

Leaving on the trip. Got my backpack ready to go!

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Rain!

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When we returned home, someone had left two large mums on the porch, along with a pumpkin! We watched our video footage and it was BugGirl and her boyfriend! (They are working on their relationship.) They wanted to surprise us. ❤️ She took care of our cats while we were away, but it was very unexpected.

Looking at this photo makes me want to quick find the wood putty! I told both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam that the next nice day we have, the chips along the threshold are getting filled in and painted black!

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Yes, MisterMoonbeam is home from Arizona! I picked him up from the airport late Saturday. He’s snoozing here beside me, while I update this journal. I really need to sleep - we have tickets to see PeeWee’s Big Adventure at our local theater tomorrow! LOL (Insert PeeWee laugh here) Also, DarkKnight is making his annual carrot cake from scratch for me, and everyone will be here in the evening for a birthday get together.

I did want to write a little bit before I went to sleep though. I’ve been having a lot of emotional downs and bursts of teary times over my diagnosis, and what the endoscope might find with my next appointment there. Mostly the diabetes though. I’m really frightened to die. Most of the time I feel confident that this is manageable, but other times I feel like it’s really overwhelming.

Balancing my new diet is proving to be a challenge. I can’t seem to eat enough calories (2100/day) so my fat/carbs/protein balance is constantly off. I hit all of my carb targets - 35/breakfast, 15/snacks (2), 60/lunch, 60/dinner - but either the protein gets to be too high, or the fat is completely astronomical. I wasn’t told anything about sodium, but I know it isn’t good either.

I find myself analyzing every meal and trying to make my options work. I was teary at dinner with DarkKnight on Friday night, and he told me I was trying too hard and that I should just relax and it would be okay. I was trying to be too perfect too soon - that of course there will be adjustments as I start this fixing things up. I suppose he is correct, but I am the one who is falling apart here, and I don’t want to go blind or lose a leg or go into a coma and die.

My blood sugar is consistently in the 170s or like 204 before a meal, and then two hours later it’s like 225. I don’t know how high it is spiking but it isn’t dropping down from the start number, I can tell you that! Though, today at dinner was the first time it DID drop - it was 230 initially (which is high, duh) and then 2 hours later it was 202! I was so excited to see that, even though both numbers are shit.

I have been off all meds again. I have to pick up the new extended release Metformin tomorrow, and I will start it on Monday morning. I feel like I can’t get the food balanced or logged correctly (I have to list all the ingredients and the stupid app I am using is missing so much!) and I can’t seem to get the medication to not make me sick. I feel like a failure already. 😭😭😭

I’m crying while I am writing this, for real. It just sucks. I want to do it right.

I do have another appointment on Wednesday. I see my primary care doctor - who first diagnosed me on the 6th (I think that was the date.) - but she’s just a physician’s assistant. She first prescribed me 500 mg of Metformin twice a day, but then the actual doctor came in and said no, no, and bumped me up to the 2,000 mg that had me so ill with the diabetes specialist in disbelief. So I am not feeling confident that this lady will help me much. I wish I had another meeting with the specialist instead.

I guess the good thing is that I am going to request a nutritionist referral. Hopefully that will help. Also, I haven’t received a call about actually scheduling the endoscopy yet so if I haven’t heard anything by then, I will ask about it.

Anyway, I’ve been emotional and depressed and terrified. When we were at Moulin Rouge, I was able to put that stuff to sleep for a while and just enjoy the production. I was so happy and so proud of the cast at the end, that I remember thinking that this is what life is about - just being happy with other humans, together. I’m sure these Broadway actors who’ve won a crapload of awards don’t me to feel connected to them, but it was a thing I was feeling. I felt wired into something larger.

Maybe I should do some shrooms.

I half joke. This connected feeling really made me feel like I was part of a vast network of love, and it didn’t matter if I died at that moment. The world would move on, and maybe my part of that happy is okay being complete now. I’ve done some pretty amazing things through the Blessing Box, and I mean, I adopted and raised three older children who were initially in foster care - and that was not fucking easy. I homeschooled one, raised one to be a college graduate in spite of their previous neglect and abuse. I’ve done everything that I could to love as hard as I could. I would wager solid that NONE of my past long-term romantic partners would say that I’ve ever made them feel secondary or unimportant in my world. Or if they did, letting me know what they need would have me shifting to meet that need. I try to be their greatest fan and be a booster. I work hard at being a good hinge.

I’ve fostered cats for a decade? Maybe a little less than that. I’ve buried kittens but loved them fiercely while they were alive. I’ve saved others who were sick and gotten so very many adopted! I taught high school level science to homeschooled teenagers and SEVERAL went on to major in science and are now college graduates with science degrees! I have a biologist, a chemist and a rocket engineer. None of them had taken science classes prior to mine. I did that! Or, at least I held hands and raised them up so they could see that they could do it.

Anyway, I know me existing has had a positive effect on my community and on the world. Was it a net positive? I believe so. I know I’ve caused pain, but hopefully not too much suffering. I want to stay alive. I want to see what happens next. I’m very scared that I won’t be able to do that. So having a complete and joyous feeling after the show on Friday was nice. I wish I could bottle it up and sprinkle it on my Greek yogurt in the mornings.
 
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Bluebird said:
DarkKnight and I had a blast in DC this weekend! We went to the Air & Space Museum and saw two Planetarium shows, before seeing Moulin Rouge at the Kennedy Center. I was grinning like a fool the entire time. We got rained out on Saturday, but don’t we look cute?!

Leaving on the trip. Got my backpack ready to go!

View attachment 4364

Rain!

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When we returned home, someone had left two large mums on the porch, along with a pumpkin! We watched our video footage and it was BugGirl and her boyfriend! (They are working on their relationship.) They wanted to surprise us. ❤️ She took care of our cats while we were away, but it was very unexpected.

Looking at this photo makes me want to quick find the wood putty! I told both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam that the next nice day we have, the chips along the threshold are getting filled in and painted black!

View attachment 4365

Yes, MisterMoonbeam is home from Arizona! I picked him up from the airport late Saturday. He’s snoozing here beside me, while I update this journal. I really need to sleep - we have tickets to see PeeWee’s Big Adventure at our local theater tomorrow! LOL (Insert PeeWee laugh here) Also, DarkKnight is making his annual carrot cake from scratch for me, and everyone will be here in the evening for a birthday get together.

I did want to write a little bit before I went to sleep though. I’ve been having a lot of emotional downs and bursts of teary times over my diagnosis, and what the endoscope might find with my next appointment there. Mostly the diabetes though. I’m really frightened to die. Most of the time I feel confident that this is manageable, but other times I feel like it’s really overwhelming.

Balancing my new diet is proving to be a challenge. I can’t seem to eat enough calories (2100/day) so my fat/carbs/protein balance is constantly off. I hit all of my carb targets - 35/breakfast, 15/snacks (2), 60/lunch, 60/dinner - but either the protein gets to be too high, or the fat is completely astronomical. I wasn’t told anything about sodium, but I know it isn’t good either.

I find myself analyzing every meal and trying to make my options work. I was teary at dinner with DarkKnight on Friday night, and he told me I was trying too hard and that I should just relax and it would be okay. I was trying to be too perfect too soon - that of course there will be adjustments as I start this fixing things up. I suppose he is correct, but I am the one who is falling apart here, and I don’t want to go blind or lose a leg or go into a coma and die.

My blood sugar is consistently in the 170s or like 204 before a meal, and then two hours later it’s like 225. I don’t know how high it is spiking but it isn’t dropping down from the start number, I can tell you that! Though, today at dinner was the first time it DID drop - it was 230 initially (which is high, duh) and then 2 hours later it was 202! I was so excited to see that, even though both numbers are shit.

I have been off all meds again. I have to pick up the new extended release Metformin tomorrow, and I will start it on Monday morning. I feel like I can’t get the food balanced or logged correctly (I have to list all the ingredients and the stupid app I am using is missing so much!) and I can’t seem to get the medication to not make me sick. I feel like a failure already. 😭😭😭

I’m crying while I am writing this, for real. It just sucks. I want to do it right.

I do have another appointment on Wednesday. I see my primary care doctor - who first diagnosed me on the 6th (I think that was the date.) - but she’s just a physician’s assistant. She first prescribed me 500 mg of Metformin twice a day, but then the actual doctor came in and said no, no, and bumped me up to the 2,000 mg that had me so ill with the diabetes specialist in disbelief. So I am not feeling confident that this lady will help me much. I wish I had another meeting with the specialist instead.

I guess the good thing is that I am going to request a nutritionist referral. Hopefully that will help. Also, I haven’t received a call about actually scheduling the endoscopy yet so if I haven’t heard anything by then, I will ask about it.

Anyway, I’ve been emotional and depressed and terrified. When we were at Moulin Rouge, I was able to put that stuff to sleep for a while and just enjoy the production. I was so happy and so proud of the cast at the end, that I remember thinking that this is what life is about - just being happy with other humans, together. I’m sure these Broadway actors who’ve won a crapload of awards don’t me to feel connected to them, but it was a thing I was feeling. I felt wired into something larger.

Maybe I should do some shrooms.

I half joke. This connected feeling really made me feel like I was part of a vast network of love, and it didn’t matter if I died at that moment. The world would move on, and maybe my part of that happy is okay being complete now. I’ve done some pretty amazing things through the Blessing Box, and I mean, I adopted and raised three older children who were initially in foster care - and that was not fucking easy. I homeschooled one, raised one to be a college graduate in spite of their previous neglect and abuse. I’ve done everything that I could to love as hard as I could. I would wager solid that NONE of my past long-term romantic partners would say that I’ve ever made them feel secondary or unimportant in my world. Or if they did, letting me know what they need would have me shifting to meet that need. I try to be their greatest fan and be a booster. I work hard at being a good hinge.

I’ve fostered cats for a decade? Maybe a little less than that. I’ve buried kittens but loved them fiercely while they were alive. I’ve saved others who were sick and gotten so very many adopted! I taught high school level science to homeschooled teenagers and SEVERAL went on to major in science and are now college graduates with science degrees! I have a biologist, a chemist and a rocket engineer. None of them had taken science classes prior to mine. I did that! Or, at least I held hands and raised them up so they could see that they could do it.

Anyway, I know me existing has had a positive effect on my community and on the world. Was it a net positive? I believe so. I know I’ve caused pain, but hopefully not too much suffering. I want to stay alive. I want to see what happens next. I’m very scared that I won’t be able to do that. So having a complete and joyous feeling after the show on Friday was nice. I wish I could bottle it up and sprinkle it on my Greek yogurt in the mornings.
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(1) All the hugs.
(2) This crap is hard.
(3) You have a huge positive impact in the world.
 
I was on metformin. I have some kidney damage due to being given an incorrect medcine aka lasix. I was in the hospital and being given lasix with me knowing it. I fired the wacko doctor. My current cardio said I had no water issues. It ended up they switched me to Glimepiride. My blood sugars have been as low as 76 when I was not keeping food in and the worse was 178 when I had ice cream and a small piece of birthday cake.

I have food issues, so I bought extra meter supplies and tested my favorite meal combos before and after eating. I can’t eat bread or meat. I will have a tablespoon of smuckers peanut butter or almond butter with no sugar. I love the oikos zero fat or sugar yogurt I had a 1/2 of bran cereal. I usually eat eggs daily. I eat fish most of the time. I get a poke bowl sauce on the side.

My doc told me at times sugar will lower with a snack. This whole diabetes thing makes me crazy. I have acid reflux and use Pepcid melt tabs for my throat.
 
Livingmybestlife said:
I was on metformin. I have some kidney damage due to being given an incorrect medcine aka lasix. I was in the hospital and being given lasix with me knowing it. I fired the wacko doctor. My current cardio said I had no water issues. It ended up they switched me to Glimepiride. My blood sugars have been as low as 76 when I was not keeping food in and the worse was 178 when I had ice cream and a small piece of birthday cake.

I have food issues, so I bought extra meter supplies and tested my favorite meal combos before and after eating. I can’t eat bread or meat. I will have a tablespoon of smuckers peanut butter or almond butter with no sugar. I love the oikos zero fat or sugar yogurt I had a 1/2 of bran cereal. I usually eat eggs daily. I eat fish most of the time. I get a poke bowl sauce on the side.

My doc told me at times sugar will lower with a snack. This whole diabetes thing makes me crazy. I have acid reflux and use Pepcid melt tabs for my throat.
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That’s a lot of info to process! I’m looking into getting the continuous glucose monitor so I have a better idea of how my body is reacting. My lowest sugar in the last few weeks has been 158, and since I have been monitoring, the highest was 266. I have been trying really hard to balance my numbers but I am in tears a lot, trying to figure it out.

I had a crying fit yesterday afternoon. All of the stress got to be too much, as DarkKnight was asking me to plan and figure out my birthday dinner for the 10 people that were invited over, and then when I tried ordering it was set to go the wrong address, the time of delivery had to be scheduled, the app wanted the credit card code - which I didn’t have since it was his credit card - and then when he took it he started repeatedly asking me questions about if the order was correct.

I have ALWAYS had really bad anxiety surrounding my birthday, and up to the point where I had a meltdown, I would have said I was doing really well this year. But I hit a stress point and I just couldn’t handle ordering the meal and I was begging him to please just do it and not involve me in it. The added anxiety about inputing the info into my diet log later and possibly being way over had me freaking out.

I didn’t handle it well, and had to leave the room. Then I just sat and cried it out. It was not a proud moment and I was exhausted afterward.

Everything went okay up to a point at dinner, but as we were eating, people were asking where MisterMoonbeam was, and he popped out and stayed in the game room, calling out to us that he has Covid. I’m like, you have got to be fucking kidding me. I distanced myself from the people at the table then.

Apparently the person that was auditing their program in Arizona sent an email message that he tested positive. MisterMoonbeam hadn’t been feeling well, but he figured it was jet lag and the shift in air quality. Nope. He’s positive too. His direct employee over there is also now positive.

Fucking hell.

I had a slight sore throat this morning and I definitely don’t feel great but with me right now I don’t know. I have to go get my new medication today - like, I’m going to get dressed and go out shortly - so I am going to pick up a couple of Covid tests. It’s unlikely I would test positive after only being together since Saturday night, but I’m going to test every single day.

MisterMoonbeam got off of the plane and we were in the car together, and then had dinner out, and then came home and went to bed. Yesterday we went to see Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure at the theater, and I sat between him and DarkKnight. We came home and we were in bed together all afternoon. (Resting) No sex at all but some kissing and snuggling.

DarkKnight had much less contact as he rode in the backseat yesterday and I was between them at the theater. He was out running errands at different times and wasn’t in close proximity.

MisterMoonbeam went to his own room last night and DarkKnight stayed away from us both. So I slept alone in the first time in a long time! That was hard because I really needed some skin time and physical touch to help sooth my distress, but with the circumstances, I was not going to get that. I’m almost hoping to test positive so MisterMoonbeam and I can snuggle!

Ugh - I don’t want Covid. I’m just assuming I am fucked and I am going to get it. What I mean is that I want to test positive sooner rather than 5 days from now, after I’ve been isolated all that time.

I need to start work on getting the rest of the house decorated for our Halloween party. I hope we can have a Halloween party! It’s scheduled for the 14th. Fuck fuck fuck. Honestly, I feel sick.
 
I have Covid and I’m very sick.
 
The last few weeks for you have been ... something. I sincerely hope things turn around.
 
Bluebird, I hope you’re getting better and getting tons of sleep and cuddles. ❤️‍🩹
 
Thanks y’all. I’m now Covid free, but I have a secondary infection, more than likely. I’m on a medication regimen a mile long:

Zofran, nausea
Zyrtec & Flonase, to dry out my sinuses
Tessalon Perles, for cough
Antibiotics, for post-Covid bacterial infection
Albuterol inhalor, for inflammed bronchioles

My hacking cough has now moved into my lungs and it’s a bray. I’m exhausted and when I do cough, about 30% of the time I piss or crap myself. Sexy.

No cuddles here - MisterMoonbeam is heading up an in-person audit and he has to be well-rested and ready to go each morning. DarkKnight never tested positive for anything at all, so he’s keeping his distance. Though last night he did come sleep next to me so that was nice!

My sugars are all over the place because I had a couple of days when I couldn’t keep anything down, and in between meals I am sucking on throat drops and trying to be still. I’m not eating enough calories, but, well, I am sick.

Last weekend, my sister’s ex-husband passed away, and my oldest nephew has asked me to come stay with him this weekend and attend the service. He knows I am sick and am going to try! Honestly I have no idea if I can make it but I will if I can. If it were today, I wouldn’t go.
 
Today I showered and dressed, and then got undressed and put on pajamas. I’m healing, but it’s so slow.
 
I saw your post about diabetes, are you diagnosed with 1 or 2? Definitely get a specialist for it! I have a specialist and she recommended Keto diet, and my carbs are much lower than yours, like aroun 60-100g a day, and I try to keep to around 20g of sugar a day. Everything else is fake sugar. Eliminating sugars as they turn into carbs, and lowering the carbs to around 100g a day has helped a lot more than just the metformin. I really hope you're able to find YOUR balance and get your sugars under control.

You got this just like everything else you tackle, break it down to one thing at a time.

As for new apps that have a lot of good food, i really love baritastic. free, and for people who get stomach surgery but it has access to macros, as well as a pretty decent menu of all the items that could be eaten and you can add it yourself. its not perfect but i like it a lot.
 
starlight1 said:
I saw your post about diabetes, are you diagnosed with 1 or 2? Definitely get a specialist for it! I have a specialist and she recommended Keto diet, and my carbs are much lower than yours, like aroun 60-100g a day, and I try to keep to around 20g of sugar a day. Everything else is fake sugar. Eliminating sugars as they turn into carbs, and lowering the carbs to around 100g a day has helped a lot more than just the metformin. I really hope you're able to find YOUR balance and get your sugars under control.

You got this just like everything else you tackle, break it down to one thing at a time.

As for new apps that have a lot of good food, i really love baritastic. free, and for people who get stomach surgery but it has access to macros, as well as a pretty decent menu of all the items that could be eaten and you can add it yourself. its not perfect but i like it a lot.
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Type 2. I am seeing a specialist. She doesn’t have me on a specific sort of diet, but says it’s important for me to eat balanced and not cut my carbs too low. I canceled my appointment with her today because of my illness but she’s going to reschedule me soon.

I’m just on the 500 mg of Metformin extended release right now. I’m supposed to eat 35 carbs at breakfast, then 60 at lunch and 60 at dinner. If I want a snack, it’s got to be 15 or less, no more than twice a day. I’m down now to 207 pounds, and I honestly don’t wanna be less than 205. I like my curves!

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This is me today! :) I’m still not feeling well but I was able to dress today and I went to the bank, only to find the bank was closed. 🙃 I came home and got my pajamas back on.

So, I’ve lost 14 pounds since September 6. I’m not sure if there’s been much improvement on other things though. My glucose seems to be 180-225 before meals and 225-270 afterward. I test two hours after eating and it seems to increase about 50. I’m not sure if that’s normal or terrible. I know the numbers themselves are high, but the specialist says she’s confident they’re going to drop as long as I stick to the program. My blood pressure is still high - I was 118/86 yesterday. Again, not horrific, but not normal either.

We canceled our Halloween party. It was supposed to be on Saturday but none of us are over Covid really. Everyone is coughing and exhausted. So we are out the $100 deposit we gave for the Tarot card reader, which sucks, but none of us are going to be in a healthy space to stay up later and enjoy it.

Here’s the picture I used to cancel the party. Lol

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Yesterday evening I thought what I had was a pretty good spread with my blood glucose before and after dinner: 169-204. Yes these numbers are high, but they’re low for me! After eating, I went to bed and that was it. Yet, this morning, my pre-breakfast number was 252! I’m not sure why it spikes like this when I haven’t eaten yet!

I’m hoping now that my Covid symptoms are lessened, I can start trusting that my numbers are “real.” For a while, they were all over the place.
 
I’m really excited about going to a masquerade dance at the end of the month in Virginia. The Poly triad that we are friends with are going, and we were already planning to crash at their house (MisterMoonbeam and me). I was chatting with them today and one of the ladies is dressing as a butterfly - and I have the same outfit! Too funny. The other lady didn’t have a plan yet so I offered her my dragon costume that I had originally planned to wear. She is now stoked to try it! This is what it looks like:

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Without the mask, of course! The scaly part is a cropped underbust - it’s separate from the full green corset. Anyway, this is what I had originally planned to wear but then I tried on some random pieces I own and I found something I loved better - the night I came down with Covid. Lol So I didn’t get photos of that and then I was too damn tired and sick to try it again. I’m hoping to remember what it all was tonight, if I have time.
 
I was thinking since you had to cancel your Halloween party that maybe you could set up that gigantic skeleton outside for the rest of spooky season so at least the neighbors could see it.
 
Magdlyn said:
I was thinking since you had to cancel your Halloween party that maybe you could set up that gigantic skeleton outside for the rest of spooky season so at least the neighbors could see it.
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We talked about it but we’re lazy. This year it’s just going to stay in our sunroom!
 
DarkKnight & I both got new iPhone 15 Pros today. I didn’t care about it except that I need the 256 space for all of my photos and videos. But he had an XR still and really needed to upgrade! It was part of our switching over to share a phone plan with MisterMoonbeam. It’s going to save us $100 a month, and we will no longer be paying for Netflix. Plus I guess we get free AAA now, though I already have that paid through February, I think. I guess they also give free Apple TV but DarkKnight pays for Apple One or something so he doesn’t think he’s going to use it. Idk.

MisterMoonbeam was paying $108 a month, and we were on AT&T for $151. Netflix was $21. Now it should be $168 for everything, including the new phones and Netflix. Pretty sweet!

I’m now aggravated though - this new phone is just different enough from my 12 that I want to pull my hair out. The little cable they gave me is NOT charging it, and the longer cables and phone cases aren’t arriving from Amazon until tomorrow.

We canceled our local cable service yesterday and switched to fiber, so we would have better speeds and save $30 a month. Well, guess what won’t connect right now? Ugh. It’s like shit is doing this just to irritate me tonight.

I’m waiting for my bestie to come over and play dress up with our corsets. I need to figure out if my outfits for the Ren Faire next weekend and the Masquerade on the 28th are complete. I also want to start planning outfits for the two dances we are attending in February at Mythicon, and for the Wildling Masquerade later on in the Spring! I’m not counting on those clothes to work for next year, since I may have lost a lot more weight by then. These corsets might not fit!
 
So our internet is out and that is super lame. MisterMoonbeam was on the phone for an hour yesterday and the new company said it’s a provisioning issue and hopefully it would be fixed soon. Uh, yah think? I’m irritated because today was a lazy day for me and I planned to watch The Walking Dead (starting season 7) and the newest episode of Sister Wives. So much for that! I guess I could watch on my phone but I’m not a fan of doing that.

My phone now has a new case and cable and all is well with the charging, so yay on that.

lol I started writing this a few hours ago, only to have my power go out right after typing the previous sentence. 😆 The entire neighborhood went out apparently, but now it’s finally back on. There was a line down, I guess.

At the moment I still don’t have internet, but I am not sure how to reset that anyway, and as of yesterday it wasn’t working. I suppose I should text DarkKnight and try and figure it out this afternoon. I’m going to have lunch and feed the cats and get dressed - then worry about it.

This evening, my bestie and I are going to our first belly dancing class. I’m excited and hope it will be fun! I still get really tired if I am too active - post-covid nonsense is a pain! I’m hoping it won’t be too bad because I am looking forward to it.
 
DarkKnight surprised me and we went out to Texas Roadhouse tonight. ❤️ Now I am full, however, and I’m hoping things will calm down in my stomach before I go and belly dance. Lol To be 100%, I have only busted my diet once since being diagnosed and that was for my birthday, when I had my carrot cake cupcake. That’s it. I’ve been really faithful to things!

Like tonight, I had a 6 oz ribeye, 1/2 a sweet potato with butter, a side salad with no croutons and just a tablespoon of ranch dressing on the side. And one dinner roll with a teaspoon of honey cinnamon butter. That was all 58 carbs. My dinner allotment is 60.

I have my diabetes specialist appointment on Wednesday. I’m thinking she is going to increase my Metformin. My blood glucose is not coming down much so far, in spite of losing 14 pounds and sticking to my carb count.

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Ugh. I’ve had lots of cramps yesterday and today. My last period was on August 19, so I’m overdue and it feels like it is coming soon. 🤷‍♀️ Who knows though. I think the Metformin three my schedule off, and then Covid happened, so who knows?
 
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