Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Regarding counting calories, I find that really works for me as well. I just posted this on a weight loss forum I belong to, in response to someone who is upset about not being able to stick to her plan:

One thing you might do is to plan days where you can eat more so you don't feel deprived by strict adherence to whatever eating plan you're following. For example, let's say you have a target of 1500 calories per day. That equals 10,500 calories per week. You could make the weekly number your target and divvy it up so it isn't so strict and so boring.

You could plan for:
three days at 1500 calories, two days at 1200 calories, and two days at 1800 calories each week;
Or:
three days at 1200 calories, 3 days at 1600 calories, and one day at 2100 calories;
Or:
two days at 1500, one at 1400, two at 1200, one at 1700, and one at 2000.

You can split them up anyway you want, as long as it all equals 10,500/week. At the end of seven days, the weight loss benefit should still be the same as if you ate 1500 calories every day, but you've allowed yourself some wiggle room to have a somewhat decadent meal, or a caloric splurge like a beer or cocktail, to look forward to once or twice a week. This can help keep you on track.

Pair them up so that the high calorie day is immediately followed by the lowest calorie day, and you will still feel good about what you're doing. Treat it like a game and have fun with it. This has worked for me, but it does require careful tracking of what you eat. You can't forget which day you ate the higher calories, because you could indulge too often and defeat the purpose.

I hope this is helpful! This method has worked for many people on a variety of plans, whether you count calories or points.​
 
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A weekly total is a much better idea than the daily total.
Thanks for the tip NYC.
 
I actually don't do too terrible when counting calories - I just want a cheese Danish and then I want milk with it (which I shouldn't have because it upsets my reflux as well) and then I want another cheese Danish. Seriously a sugar and pastry addict here. If I give myself a little, I'm screwed. The Subway diet I started in January was working awesome until my dad died and then I ate nothing but garbage nonstop.

Your numbers make sense, and I seriously need to get my shit together soon. Right now though? Nope. I just can't. Maybe after the wedding, at this point.

Speaking of the wedding, PunkRock and I went and bought most of the handfasting cord materials tonight. I am super excited to get started on braiding. The issue is that I am not really all that wonderful at braiding, but I am confident that I can master a 5 strand cord. Well, I am enthusiastic about it, anyway!

We also had a meeting tonight with our life insurance rep. We are going with TransAmerican - PunkRock signed on for a $50,000 whole life policy and I got a $25,000 whole life policy. They're both the kind that you pay on for 20 years and then stop, but the policy retains the value. Pretty sweet. We both have to pass the health screen, which mine was a cheek scrape and I guess they are testing me for HIV. I am not concerned in the least. PunkRock got a urine test, and HIV is one of his screens, but I am not sure what else they are doing. DarkKnight already has a whole life policy, so we didn't add more for him right now.
 
I've been soooo tired lately. PunkRock is sick at the moment. DarkKnight is busy with his play and an upcoming choral concert. My focus has been on budgeting and wedding planning.

I had a long entry and I was going to make, but I am too tired to focus at the moment. I had shitty sleep last night and the weather has changed to rainy so that makes my arthritis achy and I just can't write anything more.
 
I had my first fitting yesterday for my wedding dress. I hate to say it, but I really dislike it and wish that I hadn't bought it. I just feel out of sorts with the length (to the ground) and I feel like my upper half just looks so fat in it. My arms are terrible. I have a friend who is altering it - she is hemming it a bit shorter and creating a back panel out of the wrap I bought to hide the top of the corset, which is visible right now. She is going to try and fashion some little sleeves out of the rest of it too, thank goodness. I do wish I had the cash to just go and buy an entirely different dress. Since that isn't happening, I hope I learn to love this in the next couple of weeks!

I am doing well in creating the handfasting cords. I've had a couple of compliments, so that makes me feel good. I have to have six 6-foot cords and I've finished three with one more almost complete. Working on them makes me happy.

I am starting to stress about my veil, as I am running out of time to make it. I want a birdcage veil on a simple clip. I have yet to locate the netting I need. Really, I just need to find time to go to JoAnn Fabrics and if they don't have it, I'll have to find some on the Internet to get it here quick!

It's a little more than 30 days to the date!

Oh, and photographers! I am still trying to work out which one we are going with, after PunkRock's friend bailed on us. It looks like I can get one between $300-$450. Which is more than I care to spend but very necessary. I hope to have that pinned down by the weekend.

PunkRock is ill right now and has been for a couple of days. Snotty and coughing and sleepy. He stayed home from work yesterday. DarkKnight started feeling miserable last night and this morning he looked pretty terrible. I feel more tired and wiped out than normal, but I hope I stay well!
 
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I just had the most amazing sex. Sometimes I need to share that. I complain a lot about not getting it often enough, but damn. Sometimes it is WELL worth the wait!

That said - it was a terribly stressful day today, so I am glad I got a good relaxing end to it. PunkRock came home from work, we went out to dinner and had some DELICIOUS gourmet food and then we stopped at a store so we could pick up milk and he chose some gorgeous purple flowers for me before we headed home for some wonderful sexy time. Yay!

Yeah, I am in the middle of a crazy train called trying to follow my father's final wishes. I am headed back up to NY with DarkKnight in two weeks, and at that time I'm supposed to spread my father's ashes near where he grew up and spent the last year of his life. In our last conversation, he reiterated that this is what he wanted. It's what he put in both his living will and his last will and testament. However, my sister is apparently talking to our uncle to try and get his ashes buried on his property.

Sigh. I'm like, they're ashes! That doesn't even make sense to me! It's ridiculous because not only is ithis contrary to what he requested, and what I promised him - I have the ashes! I think it would be very difficult for her to make it happen without those. I've asked her twice now if the dates I gave her would work for getting together with everyone to spread the ashes and it's radio silence, no response. When I talked to my mom today, she told me what was happening - that my sister was contacting everyone to try and do what she wanted.

Whatever. She can talk to whoever she wants; I know what is going to happen - I am going to follow my father's request.

I fucking hate that this is happening. It's the same thing that right after my dad passed - she decided she wanted something different. I invited both my siblings to come and talk to my dad about his final wishes, and they both refused to come because they said it was too intense and didn't want to think about it. After everything was written down and signed, I offered them copies of the paperwork, and again they refused to even take the copies. But once he passed, I had to listen to complaints and objections that they didn't like my father's choices and how I was so heartless and terrible to do what I had promised him (the cremation and no funeral).

Well, fuck it. I am tired of all of this and the stress it brings me. The reason my dad entrusted all of this to me is because he believed and trusted that I would follow through. So this will be me, following through.
 
Sorry your family's giving you that crap. I definitely think you're making the right decisions.
 
My mom is wishy-washy. Things came to a head yesterday and my sister called, telling me I just didn't understand that dad didn't know he had the chance to be buried on our uncle's land. Perhaps not, but since I'd been in every single one of his living wills for over the last decade, and never once did he mention wanting his ashes buried, ever, that's kinda what I am going to go with. I also spoke to my mom and she said she would be there for spreading the ashes. Since I haven't heard from my sister since, I am just going to announce the time and date and be done with it. I really wish the ground hadn't been frozen and covered in snow when my father passed, so this could have been over and done with already.

I am SO sick right now. Stupid men, getting me ill. Thankfully I was able to sit on the couch and rest all day yesterday, but today is D&D and I don't want to miss it. Hopefully I feel a bit better today and can make it to the game. Loot Crate this month had a D&D Tshirt which I am excited about. :)

I HATE being sick. I feel terrible.
 
Bluebird said:
...Well, fuck it. I am tired of all of this and the stress it brings me. The reason my dad entrusted all of this to me is because he believed and trusted that I would follow through. So this will be me, following through.
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Stay strong. YOU know that what you are doing is the RIGHT thing to do.
 
I am so sexually frustrated right now. I guess it isn't as bad as it would feel if I wasn't sick! I just have zero energy to attack either of my guys, or even to roll over and grab Mr. Buzzy. I'm so wiped out. I'm having stirrings, but since I'm coughing every few seconds - I'm too exhausted. It's been like 4 days since I got freaky with PunkRock and I want to say maybe two whole fucking weeks for DarkKnight and me. The guys have both cuddled me separately though, and expressed interest, but they're battling the same illness.

Can I just take a moment again here to say that my life is pretty amazing? I am SO LOVED. My guys are so great to me. Yesterday, out of nowhere, PunkRock said that he had been thinking of me when I wasn't with him, and that he just felt so happy and so close to me. I was like awwwwwwww. Tonight he was hugging me and he told me that he is so glad about how good our relationship is - we don't fight or anything. It's true! And even later tonight, DarkKnight was talking to me about how much he loves me, and how he will always be there to take care of me. Yeah, I am loved.
 
I am sorry to have to write another sappy post but squeeeee! I am so in love y'all! DarkKnight and I finally had a chance to reconnect and we had some fun sex last night. We were both coughing like crazy, but it didn't slow him (or me) down at all. Lol

And I just don't know what to say about PunkRockAwesomesauce lately. It's like NRE all over again. I daydream about him, fantasize about him, want to touch him all the time. I seriously cannot get enough of feeling his skin against my body. I want to rub all over him, all the time. I need to get a day where that's all I do!

Wedding update - second dress fitting! This was last night and I can say it was the first time I felt awesome in my dress! Nothing had changed - it was just hemmed - but I dunno, I felt fabulous! My friend and I had more discussion about adding sleeves and it looks like she plans to do that this weekend.

I also had a makeover that was scheduled at a local salon/spa place with a Smashbox rep and she did a great job. Lucky me - some of the stuff I wanted was free with purchase, or was actually available as part of the free sample bag.
 
Ugh! My phone kept being wonky and shutting down whenever I tried to edit the above post, but I was interrupted in the middle of typing! I wanted to post a pic of my makeover:

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It wasn't anything to drastic and I wanted it all soft for the ceremony. I ended up purchasing the orchid eyeliner and the bronzer she put on me. She also used blush, which I NEVER use. I didn't like that part much, but it faded quickly. I received all 3 eyeshadows as a free sample, and the eye brightener too. I would have purchased those, so that was sweet! The makeover itself was a $25 deposit, which went toward purchase, so I used my credit to get some lid primer. I ended up spending $50 total, which I think is pretty good. I might go back and buy the lip gloss she used, because I bought some at the store and I am hating how it looks!

I guess you really cant see any of the detail in the photo, but I was very happy how it looked in real life. Now I just have to work on doing it myself, since I'll be the only one at the bungalow the morning of the ceremony!
 
In my case, I would like sex a few times each day while my wife is fine with once or twice a week. We tried various options like wife swapping but that does not provide daily sex. :) My wife recognized the problem and invited her best girlfriend into our marriage to help her out with my sexual needs. That quickly turned into a poly triad that lasted 38 wonderful years of strife free life. In the process, my wife discovered her bisexuality which multiplied the sexual fun we had.

Our marriage lasted over 40 years and still going strong. Those of our friends who had various open relationship and/or poly arrangements, all ended up divorcing as a direct result of their lifestyle. I have never met anyone in real life who lasted even close to us. Just a few I met online and who knows if they are real or not. :) I think we made a wise choice for us and if I had to do it again, I would keep things the same. My wife and I put our marriage first and either we love together or not at all.

Personally I would not tolerate another man in my relationship. I have to be the sole alpha male and my wife only wants the head alpha male so it would not work for us. We tried once and we both hated it. Our girlfriend did get married to someone she informed before the marriage and who was OK with her continuing her relationship with us. We never saw their condo in the 25 years they were married. Our gf wanted to keep her two relationships separate so we did not even know what the deal was other that she and her husband had an arrangement. As far as we were concerned, her husband did not exist. When she was with us, she was ours and live in our home half the time. In a way it was good for our relationship as too much togetherness is not a good thing. We appreciated her more when she would be gone for a few weeks and then move back in with us.
 
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Len51 said:
I have to be the sole alpha male and my wife only wants the head alpha male so it would not work for us.
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There is no such thing as an alpha male in human beings, and the theory about there being an alpha male in dog or wolf packs has been debunked by the very behaviorist/researcher who first hypothesized and wrote about it. The concept of the alpha male is pure bullshit.
 
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I am not bisexual. I also have no desire to have either of my guys start posturing and trying to be an alpha male, because that kind of person and I would never be in a relationship together. I don't need a D/s relationship, or a guy who is hung up on being in control and instituting a one penis policy in my household. We actually have lived harmoniously for over a year now together. I'm glad you were successful for so long with your lifestyle, but what you describe is not at all for me.

To say that you think other people are not telling the truth about their successful relationships is quite condescending. For all everyone else knows, you could be lying too. It doesn't much matter to me, though. I know what I have is working now, and I'm very happy.
 
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