Squeeeeee!
MisterMoonbeam is interested in being my Dom! I’m so excited! It’s something he’s been working on in therapy - when we first started talking (oh geez over a year and a half now) he was interested, but has had issues with his emotions and history with his late wife. So as much as I wanted that, I gave him space and let him process whatever he needed.
Tonight he pulled out his rope and asked if he could try a couple of ties. Of course I said YES. I was wiggling all over inside but I tried to be good and let him practice. He couldn’t find his safety scissors, so he only did a few that he knew I could get out of easily, and that didn’t go around my head or neck or anything. He stopped after a bit and he is watching videos now. (He ordered a new pair of scissors.)
Squeeee!
Things are going pretty great overall with my love life. I had a second date on Sunday with the new guy - we went to a local arcade that let you pay $15 and then had full access to all of their pinball machines, skeeball, air hockey, etc. We played some that came from other countries like playing the drums and dancing and hitting buttons to music. We were both terrible at it, but it was still fun. Most of the time though, we sat on a couch and talked while I played Sonic the Hedgehog on a big screen.
We are planning on getting together Thursday evening for like dinner or something. He invited me to come over and “Netflix and Chill” but I declined that. I still don’t feel I know him well enough to start messing around. I’m a little intimidated, to be honest. He was fine with that though, so that’s a good sign.
We’ve been chatting through messages on and off - about the same frequency as with my other partners, so that’s been good. I sent him my sexual list that I send every dude if things progress - my stuff about testing, safe sex, etc. This was the second time I’ve had to explain that one of my partners is positive for HSV-2, and I was nervous. However, I wasn’t overly so, because it’s early on in the relationship. I liked that - if he had said it was a dealbreaker for him, I would have been okay with letting him disappear.
That obviously didn’t happen, he just kind of ignored that part of my texting and instead focused on asking questions about other things. So later when I saw him, I said straight out, like hey, you didn’t say anything about this and I want there to be a conversation. Basically, he said he’s been in the community for a long time, and it’s nonsense to think you haven’t ever been exposed before. He said he’s negative, and would like to stay that way, so he appreciated that I am up front about it. He said from what I was saying though, he’s comfortable with things, especially if I’m negative and have stayed negative over the length of the relationship.
So that was good. I was a bit nervous about it, but not overly so. I mean, I’d had the same conversation with MisterMoonbeam, though he was even easier, as he had been in a relationship with someone that was HSV-2 positive at the time I met him. (And he didn’t get it.)
Anyway, I told him he needed to get tested, and he said that was absolutely fine and he would have done it anyway, without me asking.
I came out today on social media, about being bisexual. I didn’t have any negative responses, but I am still anxious about it. I actually closed the Blessing Box today and spent the day on the couch. Now, this wasn’t the only reason, but it did have me worked up. I changed my profile pic to be a little kitty in the bi flag colors, and my mom liked it. She didn’t like the post about me though! I think she didn’t recognize the colors and just liked the pic. Lol However, she didn’t call and yell at me, or tell me she was disappointed. Yet.
I’m quite sure she called everyone under the sun, including my sister. I also got radio silence from both of my siblings. No likes or comments. Though my sister did like something else I posted.
I’m kinda okay with silence. Better than nonsense.
Actually this new guy commented a couple of times about the differences between pan and bi definitions. It came across a lot like mansplaining, and when I answered him, he sort of double-downed. It actually aggravated me. He later linked to a couple of articles which proved what I had said, with no comment, so it was kind of confusing? I figure I will talk to him on Thursday about it when I see him. I know he’s an ally, so it was kinda weird. It wasn’t disrespectful, just kind of like not his place to use it as a teaching moment - 1, because he was wrong and 2, he’s a straight white 56 year old male. Not a red flag, but a pink one.