Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Signed purchase contract as of last night. I am feeling so overwhelmed and I am dead on my feet. Still, moving forward. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. In two years, the appreciation on this building will make DarkKnight a millionaire on paper.
 
So much love in my inboxes lately! Everyone has such positivity. I’m keeping screenshots so I have something to boost me when I start getting overly anxious.

This from MisterMoonbeam. He sent it when I was out to dinner with SirGawain last night. It took me by surprise and I started crying!

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And then random friends:

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Seriously, I need to read these again and again. The imposter syndrome shit going on in my head is so real.
 
I am soooo stressed out - 11 am is our estimate on the water damage/mold remediation. This is about the only thing that is a huge question mark at this point. Unfortunately, I think it’s going to be a huge number, and if that’s the case, we will walk. We know there is catastrophic damage in the ballroom, some surface stuff in the back stairwell (both floors), at least one wall with issues in the cat cafe, one skylight with a rotting frame and the one big front window is a mess. There’s a few window sills in the courtyard that we already know need a full replacement. Fuck, when I write the list out there, I wonder why we are even showing up. Sigh.
 
I used a new app thingy to mess around with my more recent selfies. I don’t think any of these look like me, but I do appreciate my eyebrows more when I think about it. 😂

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I am even more stressed than normal today. It’s my day off, so that’s good, but I am completely unmotivated to move. I guess I will shower after writing all of this and see if that helps me get my ass in gear.

Our home appraisal was Monday and we are waiting to hear our number. Zillow and Redfin seem to constantly be devaluing our house every week, so I am definitely anxious. The appraiser was very friendly and took photos of our cats to show his wife. Lol His dog has the same name as our tripod kitty! Our family spent the entire day Sunday cleaning and making sure the house was in amazing shape, so there was only a few things I would have done if we had one more day. We didn’t have more time though, so it is what it is. I do think things looked great. A real estate agent friend told me to make a list of all of the upgrades we had made on the house since purchase, and it was an entire sheet! The appraiser thanked me for it and said he loves when homeowners make his job easier! We will see, I suppose. Hopefully soon!

It was funny because Monday night we made it out of underwriting with the bank on the cash out refi, and DarkKnight signed off on the paperwork - all we are now waiting for is the appraisal number! I seriously am going to vomit.

MisterMoonbeam and I had the walkthrough at the building with the water damage/mold remediation specialist, and it was both good and bad. Good in that we had a seriously heavy rainfall the day before and could see where the issues were, but bad because we saw ALL the issues.

At this point I’ve talked to the seller and to the attorney. Actually, I paused writing this right now because the attorney called and I had to answer. Lol We are unfortunately walking away from the property. We will be able to recoup our deposit since we’re in the study period, but we’re out about $300 with the attorney fees for the contract and termination letter. Also, I’m really fucking sad because this building was a dream that is now over.

That said, I’m excited to move on to the next opportunity. Our private angel donors are 100% open to financing us on a different building, and have a couple that they own that might work out for us. We will see!
 
We submitted the termination letter, the seller and DarkKnight signed it, and it’s back with the attorney. So the deal is dead. I have an email out to the attorney’s administrative assistant, to see what’s up with the earnest money check.

DarkKnight received a “revised loan estimate” for our cash out refinance, and it showed numbers as if our appraisal had come back for more than the maximum amount we had been expecting! He signed it, but we now have a call in to see if those were final numbers or just something random. Hopefully he hears back this morning because if it’s accurate, that is amazeballs!
 
Soooo our house appraised for even higher than we had thought! We purchased it 5 years ago for $128,000. The bank says it’s now $265,000. Absolute bonkers! We’re cashing out $75,000 and our payment will only increase by $200 a month. I guess we are now waiting to see when we close!

Keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes smoothly. We’ve passed through underwriting, so I have no idea what’s left for them to do?
 
Apparently what’s left to do is the title paperwork. Lol DarkKnight fielded some questions yesterday.

Our angel donors contacted us this morning about possibly leasing property while we continue the search, but also sent us a link to a property we’ve viewed before. We are going to take another look soon, I think. We have some other options to view next week as well.

Today SirGawain is coming over and our entire polycule is seeing the new Dr Strange movie. Then we plan to have a game night.
 
We had an STD scare last week - DarkKnight had some warty looking things around his junk. I spent several days trying to figure out the timing of when I could have caught something and passed it on, and it just didn’t make much sense. Thankfully a trip to the doctor on Friday had them diagnosed as a different medical issue entirely and he’s now taking care of it. I was sooo relieved that I hadn’t fucked up somewhere. MisterMoonbeam and SirGawain were very calm about it, but I got ramped up. I had separate conversations with everyone about HPV, HSV and everyone’s comfort level. I do think it’s important we stay on the same page with these potential diagnoses, as well as all other STDs.

We’re again working on parts of the basement. The central air is down for the count again, and we’ve all just decided to replace the whole unit when the house refinance closes. It legit costs us around $600 every year to keep it limping along. I suppose we should at least do a service call and see what’s up. Anyway, after a few days of higher temperatures there was a funky cat urine smell coming from the craft area and we located a really bad pee point. Our FIV+ cat who passed last year from kidney failure had turned lots of places into her personal toilet. MisterMoonbeam & DarkKnight spent a couple of hours tearing up the floor covering and we have one major spot where the subfloor now needs to be painted over with some Kilz or something. They saturated it all with the urine destroyer stuff so it’s airing out now.

Speaking of medical stuff, DarkKnight has lost a shit ton of weight. He just got his A1C retested and he’s now completely out of the pre-diabetic range and solidly into the green normal area on the graph. I’m so proud of him!
 
I’m out of sorts today. I’m on day 2 of my period and it’s hot with no central air in this house. MisterMoonbeam had to drive into the office, so I am home alone. I’ve already had two visitors to the Box this morning, and my cat Harry is being snuggly, but I can’t seem to boost my mood.

Our new Hello Fresh order should be here today. I also ordered a new Libman Spray mop that should arrive here at some point. I threw away all the reusable pads and decided to just start over new when the spray mechanism stopped working. It has been broken for a while and I am just tired of it. The new one is coming with 3 pads. I’ve now been without a mop since Saturday and my floors are atrocious. It’s too hot for me to care, honestly. I just feel irritated but unmotivated.
 
I am home alone again today. I was as well yesterday, but I had volunteers and we were super busy at the Box due to infant formula shortages. Now I have the Box closed for the weekend, and since our central air is busted, I am stuck in either MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom or office, or in the overflow room, as each has a separate window or wall AC unit. Sigh. Our blind kitty Poppy is happy I am still in bed!

Yesterday had me in my feels because we pushed out soooo much infant formula. The shortage has families desperate, and it was amazing to be able to assist. I think we had around 50 people come by - not just for formula, but for air conditioner pick up, for dog food, and for diapers mostly. Whew!

I didn’t get to sleepover at SirGawain’s as planned - too much going on last night. I ended up having my first fight with MisterMoonbeam. I definitely was overly emotional due to my period, the heat, and dealing with people’s issues all day. His failure to communicate plans made me miss my evening with SirGawain, and a potential dinner date with DarkKnight. BugGirl was also inconvenienced. It was a mess, that’s for sure. We are good now though.

Apparently yesterday was also my anniversary with PunkRock. I honestly had no clue at all, until Facebook reminded me, later in the day. Ugh. I am thinking that probably contributed to things, but how much I can’t say. I think we would have been married 7 years? 8? I don’t care to do the math honestly, as it doesn’t matter. I am always a little surprised when things with him pop up - it feels like it was a lifetime ago. So much has changed, and so much is changing. So many exciting plans in my future!
 
I was at my big grocery store yesterday and at the checkout I heard a desperate dad asking about formula. There was none to be had. He then consulted his phone, probably going on to the next place.

I am glad you have some for your clients.

I am, however, reminded of how when I was in La Leche League, we would emphasize that one huge reason to breastfeed was to be prepared in times of emergency. We thought of hurricanes, blizzards, floods. It did not occur to us to consider pandemics! Of course, this has been made worse by possible contamination at a manufacturing facility, which is again, another risk of artificial baby milk. Sigh...
 
Many people are unable to breast feed, and if the baby is even a bit older, there’s no way to start. The babies I saw yesterday were all over a month old. Some are being raised by grandparents. They aren’t suddenly going to be able to find a source! I definitely am a proponent of breast feeding, but for many of my clients, it was never even an option.
 
OMG it’s not even 10 am and it’s already hot here! Our kitchen sink is backed up, so DarkKnight is tearing the pipes apart or something right now. I’m dealing with air conditioner requests (this is my big event every summer - I send out about 50 each year) and MisterMoonbeam is acting as a bed for our blind cat, Poppy, right now. So various levels of activity going on in the house!

Someone just sent me $190 to go buy an AC unit, so I guess I need to shower so I can go shopping this morning! We are all planning on hanging out at SirGawain’s today in the afternoon/evening. We’re going to play board games.
 
Many people are unable to breast feed, and if the baby is even a bit older, there’s no way to start.
Actually you can start to breastfeed an older baby. Even grandmothers and men have been able to lactate when they just put the baby to the breast often. That is rarely done in our culture, but has been seen and noted throughout human history. And some babies are unable to tolerate cow's milk or soy formulas, and so the mothers have relactated when faced with a sad and hungry baby who is in intestinal distress, covered in hives, etc. I don't doubt many new mothers who were formula feeding during this current crisis have tried to relactate out of desperation and that some have succeeded in getting at least some milk supply back.
The babies I saw yesterday were all over a month old. Some are being raised by grandparents. They aren’t suddenly going to be able to find a source! I definitely am a proponent of breast feeding, but for many of my clients, it was never even an option.
Of course, I am aware of that. However, I wouldn't say "many" women are unable to breastfeed, biologically, at least. Our social structure does not encourage breastfeeding, sadly. And I know that lower income women, whose babies need their milk the most, may find it even more difficult because of needing to go back to work too soon after the birth, or even because of being addicted to substances. I am just pointing out the sadness of the neglect of this wonderful natural resource, and what a safety net it provides in times of trouble.

Artificial baby milk is a lifesaver when needed and it always has been. The manufacturing and pushing of it is troublesome, as the current situation puts in glaring focus.

I'm sorry to derail your blog. This subject was my passion and profession for over 25 years lol. Getting off soap box.
 
It is sad. I wish more mothers breastfed. I do an okay business in gifting breast pumps so I definitely have had some moms attempting in the past. Right now I have about a dozen different cans of formula to give out tomorrow. Someone messaged me about being in Canada and bringing me some back - we will see if that’s true!
 
Another crazy day with everyone needing formula. I had a grandmother here, panicked. Her grand baby is a preemie and gets to come home tomorrow, but the formula needed isn’t in the store. Momma is in the hospital with a bacterial infection, and she has to “pump and dump,” as her milk supply isn’t safe for her child. She wants to breastfeed but can’t right now. And there is zero formula locally for the baby of this sort. I gave grandma 3 cans and told her to check back next week if they still can’t find any!

Today was good in that I gave out lots of formula, but also in that people brought me lots of formula! I have a good amount to share again tomorrow, but certain types are just out. I have a friend in South Carolina on vacation looking, and another person messaged me as they are visiting Canada. I hope they have some success. I really need Enfamil Gentlease and Similac Total Comfort. Anything Soy!

Got another AC unit donated and out of here so that brings my count to 20 since May 1. That’s a great number - especially since they’ve all been brand new! My inbox is full of those sorts of requests as well.

I’m really tired. I was clingy AF today whenever I saw MisterMoonbeam. We had an issue last night and I was really just exhausted and feeling out of sorts with him. So I woke up this morning wanting snuggles. He seemed to be the same and asked me several times for hugs and that touch reassurance.

DarkKnight came home from work and just started tearing up, wanting hugs too. He’s stressed out because our sink has a clog. Both he and MisterMoonbeam tore the pipes apart this weekend and even borrowed a longer snake from SirGawain, but they’ve had no luck. I have a plumber coming tomorrow and it’ll cost us $60 and then whatever the repair is. Probably $200 if we are lucky. Please let us be lucky!

The central air is still busted so I made an appointment for Friday. $95 for the diagnostic. Plus repair cost. I have a second guy coming out to give us a free replacement estimate. The plan is to buy a new one once our refinance is complete. DarkKnight talked to our bank contact today and it’s still moving along.
 
Our sink is all fixed. $250. Apparently the clog was down 50 feet or so and there was never any way we were going to be able to fix it on our own, so yay? Our sink drains with a loud sucking sound now!

Yesterday was another busy day - I am so exhausted lately! Lots of formula going out but more coming in. I wish I had more, but I am able to help some, at least! Four more AC units were donated by a church, and those were all picked up promptly. I saw that someone ordered one on my Amazon wish list, so that will be here today or tomorrow. I’m hoping tomorrow since I am closed today and not home, and MisterMoonbeam will be driving into work. I don’t wanna worry about an AC unit on my porch getting stolen!

Today is apparently my one year anniversary with SirGawain! We are going to the National Zoo - I’ve never been. He bought a new car last week, so he will be driving and then we’ll take the Metro in. He took the day off work and ordered the tickets. It isn’t supposed to be too hot so it should be a fun day!

Last night around 11 pm I had a really bad bout of vertigo. Now, I will get a little dizzy once in a great while when getting up from laying down or whatever, but that passes almost instantly. For whatever reason, this time I stumbled to the bathroom, did my business and then stumbled back. I was like, damn! What the hell?

When I got back into bed I felt like vomiting, and just wave after wave of dizziness continued. I started almost crying because just moving my head made it feel like I was going to fall out of bed and the room was spinning. MisterMoonbeam rolled over and held me, and I fell asleep.

Here I am this morning. I felt a little off balance when going to pee at 5 am, but not terrible. When I laid back down, boom. I feel really nauseous again and dizzy. I can type but I have to keep pausing. I’m not sure what is up with this but it needs to stop! It feels like I need to take deep breaths and drink water. I don’t know what to do!

I am going to try and fall asleep again and see if I can get it to pass.
 
National Zoo photo drop! I’d never been, and for SirGawain it had been around 20 years. The high was around 68 degrees and it was windy, so the weather was perfect!

Here’s me in my newest Stitch Fix dress. I bought to for my upcoming week in Texas but had to wear it before then. I love it!

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SirGawain says that the Metro is for sleeping. Lol

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We saw lots of animals, but the most interesting were the orangutans. They had a series of towers throughout the zoo, that were connected by cables. We saw a couple crossing and it’s crazy - no net!

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We came home after seeing lots of animals, and spent the evening watching episodes of House of Cards. Then I got railed on the couch. It was a great day! Lol

I’m waiting now for MisterMoonbeam to pick me up in Frederick. I’ve got a busy day ahead at the Box. Apparently I received a lot of Amazon orders and at least one air conditioner! That will make 25 that I’ve given out since May 1. Whoo hoo!
 
Our central air is repaired as of yesterday. Yay!
 
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