Glossary and Definitions

ZeroDrakken said:
I've seen the term used alot... but what exactly does "DH" stand for? Is it (as I keep imagining) imported and ironically repurposed baseball slang, or is it something else entirely?
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It's message board speak for "Dear [or Darling] Husband." DW, DS, DD = Dear/Darling Wife, Son, Daughter. I've always thought they were really stupid abbreviations, and they do annoy the shit out of me. Below is a list of some abbreviations commonly used in online communities/forums, and here. Texting has created newer ones, but most of these have been around a long time:

  • BF - Boyfriend
  • BFF - Best Friend Forever
  • BIL - Brother-in-Law
  • BTW - By The Way
  • BTDT - Been There, Done That
  • DD - Dear or Darling Daughter
  • DH - Dear or Darling Husband
  • DS - Dear or Darling Son
  • DW - Dear or Darling Wife
  • DIL - Daughter-in-Law
  • DSD - Dear Stepdaughter
  • DSS - Dear Stepson
  • EA - Emotional Affair
  • EX - Ex-husband or Ex-wife
  • FIL - Father-in-Law
  • FWIW - For What It's Worth
  • FYI - For Your Information
  • GF - Girlfriend
  • GMTA - Great Minds Think Alike
  • HTH - Hope This Helps
  • IMO - In My Opinion
  • IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
  • IOW - In Other Words
  • ITM - In The Meantime
  • IRL - In Real Life
  • ITA - I Totally Agree
  • J/K - Just Kidding
  • JMHO - Just My Honest/Humble Opinion
  • KWIM - Know What I Mean
  • LDR - Long Distance Relationship
  • LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off
  • LOL - Laughing Out Loud
  • MIL - Mother-in-Law
  • OM - Other Man
  • OW - Other Woman
  • OP - Original Poster
  • OMG - Oh My God
  • OSO - Other Significant Other
  • OTOH - On the other hand
  • ROTFLMAO - Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off
  • SAHM - Stay At Home Mom
  • SIL - Sister-in-Law/Son-in-Law
  • SO - Significant Other
  • STBX - Soon-To-Be Ex
  • STD - Sexually Transmitted Disease
  • STI - Sexually Transmitted Infection
  • TIA - Thanks In Advance
  • WTG - Way To Go
  • WTH - What The Hell
 
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I'm familiar with a lot of those (and I too am loathe to actually use them) but the DH was a new one for me. Thanks for the update.
 
Polycules

May I suggest a word I heard recently in an YouTube interview with Allena Gabosh from Seattle? She uses the word "polycules" synonymously with all kinds of poly-families and poly-relations, if I understood correctly. The association comes from "molecules" and their multiple possible structures. Love it.
 
SchrodingersCat said:
"Prescriptive" secondary basically means you're "not allowed" to ever become more than a secondary, you'll never be as valued as the primary, and if your relationship ever becomes "too threatening" to the primary relationship, you're out the door.

Compare to "descriptive" secondary, where it's more like you just happen to have your life not as entangled. (I.e., your partner has a wife with kids together, shared bills, and a joint mortgage. ) So the "secondary" status just describes the nature of your current relationship, without forcing it into a box that says it will never be allowed to become something more.
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I thought this would be worth posting here.
 
I've learned so much from this thread! :D Most notably, I learned there's a term for someone like me: polyflexible. It helped me solve my confusion and feeling of alone-ness.
 
Bi-monogamous: a person who desires one male and one female partner; can be a applied to a couple where the relationship is open to both partners having one additional partner of the same gender.
 
MonoVCPHG said:
Monomour - monogamous partner in a mono-poly relationship. Shares sexual/romantic affections with a single partner who knowingly has other loves.

Shares some possessive traits of the Monogamonster but has no hidden agenda to convert poly partner.
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What a great post. I need to think about this more, focusing on the "hidden agenda" part.

God, I do not want to be that person. I would rather lose a relationship than have some kind of "hidden agenda" to convert someone who is poly to my comfort-zone thinking.

Thank you for this.

CL
 
What's the difference between a N-shaped and a Z-shaped relationship (other than all the letters of the alphabet in between)?
 
I just want to say thanks for all the definitions to terms! I am completely new at this and reading some of the posts on here get confusing when you don't know what all the terms mean.
 
Found this definition of Unicorn in an old thread, thought it should be in this sticky:

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn:
Unicorn, aka Hot Bi Babe or HBB, is a single bisexual (and hot!) woman who is looking to form a polyfi triad with an existing male-female couple, most often a married one. Unicorns are easygoing partners because they don't have any needs of their own in what comes to a relationship. They are totally happy to hang on to whatever nuggets of love and affection the original couple fish out their way. They are not usually very old, and hence might have economic issues, and they are only too happy to move in with the couple in the very early stage of the relationship. And, of course, they are willing to help around the house and with kids and whatnot; after all, they are getting free room and board.​
​
Should somebody ask, unicorn is the live-in nanny/struggling student renting a room. They are never introduced to the family, invited along on social outings or holidays. The original couple maintains primacy and social approval, whereas the unicorn has to face constant pity from people who don't know she isn't single and contempt from people who equate her with a homewrecker. Unicorns don't have kids because that would seriously mess up the dynamics. They can help bring up the original couple's kids, of course, with no legal rights to them whatsoever. Unicorns are also easily disposable should they become cumbersome or needy. If something goes wrong in the relationship, it is the unicorn who isn't emotionally mature enough/doesn't respect the original couple/doesn't know how to share/is needy/is clingy/is unavailable/isn't committed enough etc.​
​
Unicorn care is easy as long as you remember a few easy rules:​
1) The original couple comes first. Always.​
2) Unicorns are not really people, they are emotional and sexual resources to the original couple. Sex is only allowed in threesomes, and no individual relationships between the unicorn and either member of the couple should ever develop, so as not to threaten the cohesion of the original couple (see point 1).​
3) If something's not working, play the 'How can you not be grateful for all we have done for you?' card with your unicorn, and if that isn't enough to scare her off, call her a homewrecker.​

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redpepper said:
Open Polyfidelity- Individuals add new partners without seeking approval, but consider the effects on existing partners.
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That strikes me as one of those oxymorons that people use in an attempt to get emotional lift of some sort for identifying as something they aren't. In this case, they have some emotional attachment for identifying as polyfi, only they don't actually *do* polyfi.
 
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I've come across 'FWB' so many times since I've been on here and only just realised that it probably means 'friends with benefits.'

I am SO bad with acronyms and am therefore very grateful for this thread. It's really cleared some things up. :)
 
Don't feel bad, Josie. I was reading a thread a while back and assumed someone posting "FB" meant "FWB" because I was pretty sure they didn't mean "Facebook"! I forgot about "Fuck buddy." :p
 
This has been very useful. Thank you. I read it all, but still have a question. Forgive me if folks feel this has been previously entertained/dealt with in a satisfactory manner.

I notice that the language/implication around secondaries is tricky. Folks who have recently entered our lives have expressed concern/fear over the apparent hierarchy of our relationships, not based on receiving any less love/affection/time, but simply because my partner and I live together.

While I understand it may be difficult for people entering into a relationship with somebody in a domestic partnership to feel anything other than secondary, I was hoping there might be some alternative non-hierarchical language available that would be potentially less alienating to those unaccustomed to poly. Semantics, sure, but I think it could help our situations.
 
pmmp said:
While I understand it may be difficult for people entering into a relationship with somebody in a domestic partnership to feel anything other than secondary, I was hoping there might be some alternative non-hierarchical language available that would be potentially less alienating to those unaccustomed to poly. Semantics, sure, but I think it could help our situations.
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You can direct potential secondaries to this page for info: http://www.morethantwo.com/polyforsecondaries.html

Also, try these threads for ideas on terminology:

"central" = "primary"

is there a better word?

Primary/Secondary: Merged Threads, General Discussion / Debate
 
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