Ostrich
Active member
I know I've posted up some feel good stuff on my blog thread another section of this site and all of that is still true (read about it here). As background to those who have not had the pleasure of reading my adventures in practicing polyam, this week, we (the boys and I) are having another cabin trip this week. Professor, Rock The Vote (RTV) and Teach will be there. Over the past year, I have gotten intellectually and emotionally closer to both Professor and RTV. So much so that I asked for a morning cuddle session with them both during the trip. I do not plan to have sex during the cuddle session, but want to be with them both at the same time for some intimate bonding. They agreed to host me for a morning get-together. I told DAG of my intentions and he is OK with it. Good to go so far.
However, I am feeling some guilt (or guilt adjacent) about this particular scenario. Due to my adverse reaction to DAG's exploration of polyam in the past, I am feeling some form of guilt (or maybe it's remorse) regarding my exploration and planning an intimate get-together with two guys whom I care about. To my credit, I have done a lot of work regarding my relationship to DAG and how I have emotionally reconnected to him in a more healthy way. I do not have any 'ownership' or exclusivity claims (other than the relationship itself). In a nutshell, here's where I find myself: 'Damn, I had some serious issues and gave DAG hell about his exploration, but now that I have the option to jump in to a polyam situation, I am all for it.' WTF? Maybe it's my sense of fairness to DAG. Full disclosure, DAG wants some intimate time with Teach during the trip, so there's that.
I plan to discuss this today with my therapist, but wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this emotion when planning out your own get-together with a romantic partner.
However, I am feeling some guilt (or guilt adjacent) about this particular scenario. Due to my adverse reaction to DAG's exploration of polyam in the past, I am feeling some form of guilt (or maybe it's remorse) regarding my exploration and planning an intimate get-together with two guys whom I care about. To my credit, I have done a lot of work regarding my relationship to DAG and how I have emotionally reconnected to him in a more healthy way. I do not have any 'ownership' or exclusivity claims (other than the relationship itself). In a nutshell, here's where I find myself: 'Damn, I had some serious issues and gave DAG hell about his exploration, but now that I have the option to jump in to a polyam situation, I am all for it.' WTF? Maybe it's my sense of fairness to DAG. Full disclosure, DAG wants some intimate time with Teach during the trip, so there's that.
I plan to discuss this today with my therapist, but wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this emotion when planning out your own get-together with a romantic partner.