Hello all - I'm new here (from Utah)

HappyMind

New member
Hi all,

HappyMind here. :)

I've lived in Salt Lake City, Utah, for many years now, but came out and identified myself with the poly world just about 2 years ago. Ever since I've started to become interested in engaging with my social environment, looking for my "tribe." I've spent a lot of time on dating apps and tried to find contact with people identifying with ENM/CNM and poly, but my experiences as a single male have been difficult and complicated, to say the least, frustrating with both religious AND conservative mainstream tendencies.

There are many female profiles out there, but age and other social or avoidant factors might play an important role in the general lack of feedback and interest.

I definitely want to stay true to my identity and feelings and not (again) give in into a monogamous compromise, just for the sake of any partner.

I'm aware that direct contact in society through meeting and/or discussion groups seems like a nice entry, but I don't really know where to start.
I haven't found anything on MEETUP (other than a game night group by Utah LGBTQ), etc.

If there are people here experienced with the Poly LS, if you could, please give me some tips, advice, group contacts, etc. I'm an extrovert and pretty outgoing person. I'm not afraid of social contacts and human beings, but would really appreciate meeting like-minded people and to learn from them.

Thanks so much to you all and the ones who read this! Cheers!
 
Would you consider moving State to find an area more compatible to the ENM model you want to pursue?

And have you tried Fetlife?
 
Greetings HappyMind,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I hail originally from Utah too -- Highland. So not far from SLC. I have since moved to several different states and now live in New Mexico (Albuquerque), but most of my relatives still live in Utah.

There is a tendency for poly men to have difficulty finding any women willing to date. We could debate all day about why that is, but the fact remains that it is. Take that plus the fact that you live in an ultra-conservative state, and it's no wonder things are difficult and complicated for you. I do not know of any poly groups in Utah.

All I can think of to offer you is a sense of community on this forum. You will be able to find like-minded people here, and learn from them. And maybe you will find that you can teach here as well. Don't be afraid to wave your poly flag!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Finding polyamorous culture or relationships in the home of the LDS (Mormon) Church is going to be very hard, I would imagine. Given the history of polygyny (which mainstream LDS want to erase, history be damned), which is still being practiced by the FLDS and other "outlaw" cults, polyamory probably tends to be lumped in with that, as a misogynistic concept, which is actually quite contrary to the truth.

Modern polyamory is a feminist-friendly concept. However, as I understand it, most Salt Lake City residents are Mormon, and of course, male/female hetero marriage and lots of kids is expected, encouraged, let's face it, brainwashed into Church members. They need to be married and sealed in the Church, and have as many kids as possible to get into the best level of heaven, apparently. :rolleyes:

There must be something holding you to this city and state, or you'd move to somewhere more open-minded, like Las Vegas or something... where you might eventually have more luck with polyamory.

BTW, "Poly" is not a "LS." That term (LS, lifestyle) is a euphemism for swinging. Most poly folks don't like it. I wouldn't use it on my dating profiles, for fear of women thinking you were into swinging and group sex. I would probably say I was into "ethical non-monogamy" instead.
 
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