Hello Friends

Therabbit

New member
Hello one and all, thanks for having me, I’m happy to be here.

I am a 52 year old man, a little bit bisexual, 13 years sober and happily in a relationship with my partner of the last 7 years. She is a 27 year old bisexual woman. We have a lot of common interests and are very close. We do have an age gap, it’s what they used to call a May-September romance, but I like to think of it as more May-late July.

We have always practiced some form of non monogamy, sometimes as a priority, and sometimes conceptually only. I have the hotwife kink, so enjoy my partner being with other hetero and bi men, and the more she likes them, the more exciting I find it. We’ve done this in the past with friends of hers, had the odd threesome with a bisexual man and so on. All positive experiences. Kink dating sites have seemed like a lot of effort and less enjoyable. We both work in restaurants, so easy to get to know new friends.

We recently decided to move the dial a bit to polyamory, after hitting a bump in the road. We are both artists and my partner studies fine arts, she fell head over heels for a fellow student - we thought we might separate, I was hurt, she was unsure( and we have since learned about NRE). That relationship fizzled (He was quite the cowboy and manipulator, and nothing to give in the bedroom). After some discussion we alighted on Poly - my consent for her to have relationships without restriction and her commitment to nurture and grow our current relationship.She very much wants to keep our nesting relationship flourishing. We both feel very positive (and she has a hot date coming up).

I do not see other partners, nor do I have a desire to. The notion of dating other hetero women seems really unappealing. My partner would not enjoy me doing so at all. I did rather enjoy dating a bisexual man as a couple, and my partner also, so if someone comes along we might do that. Asymetrically polyamorous is the jargon for what we are doingI think? We are happy and this feels like an exciting new adventure.
 
Hello one and all, thanks for having me, I’m happy to be here.
Hello and Welcome, happy to have you!
I am a 52 year old man, a little bit bisexual, 13 years sober and happily in a relationship with my partner of the last 7 years. She is a 27 year old bisexual woman. We have a lot of common interests and are very close. We do have an age gap, it’s what they used to call a May-September romance, but I like to think of it as more May-late July.
I'm sorry - but I immediately went to Tom Lehrer's When You Are Old and Grey ...;)
We have always practiced some form of non monogamy, sometimes as a priority, and sometimes conceptually only. I have the hotwife kink, so enjoy my partner being with other hetero and bi men, and the more she likes them, the more exciting I find it. We’ve done this in the past with friends of hers, had the odd threesome with a bisexual man and so on. All positive experiences. Kink dating sites have seemed like a lot of effort and less enjoyable. We both work in restaurants, so easy to get to know new friends.
I have ID'd as poly since before I met MrS - but in the early days this was only expressed with other women (both because I was interested in exploring that side of my sexuality and due to his male-insecurity preference :rolleyes:. Although I wouldn't ID it as a "kink" (which, correct me if I am wrong, to me implies a sexual overtone) I notice that MrS seems extra-attentive when I have other, male, "interested parties" (which I have increasingly had since I recently shed a lot of accumulated weight). If I am reading this correctly, not every interaction where she is with other men necessarily involves you as well (a threesome)? NOT knocking threesomes! (Love it, do it, wrote a post - Threesomes - a PlayBook (explicit) ).

We recently decided to move the dial a bit to polyamory, after hitting a bump in the road. We are both artists and my partner studies fine arts, she fell head over heels for a fellow student - we thought we might separate, I was hurt, she was unsure( and we have since learned about NRE). That relationship fizzled (He was quite the cowboy and manipulator, and nothing to give in the bedroom). After some discussion we alighted on Poly - my consent for her to have relationships without restriction and her commitment to nurture and grow our current relationship.She very much wants to keep our nesting relationship flourishing. We both feel very positive (and she has a hot date coming up).

GalaGirl (a regular poster here) would tell you: "...of those initially compatible people? Not all of them will be DEEPLY compatible. Not everyone you date is destined to be a long haul runner." I totally understand wanting a nesting relationship + other (non-nesting) relationships. My last (and 2nd ever) LTR partner went nuclear in a terrifying way after living with us for almost 10 years. I am incredibly leary of "nesting" with anyone other that MrS after that experience - in fact, If anything were to happen (Goddess Forbid!) to MrS - I don't think that I would re-marry or re-nest again - that seemed like a good idea in my 20-30's - not so much now that I am pushing 50....
I do not see other partners, nor do I have a desire to. The notion of dating other hetero women seems really unappealing. My partner would not enjoy me doing so at all. I did rather enjoy dating a bisexual man as a couple, and my partner also, so if someone comes along we might do that. Asymetrically polyamorous is the jargon for what we are doingI think? We are happy and this feels like an exciting new adventure.
Knowing what you are interested in pursuing (or not) = priceless! MrS is pretty much gray-sexual (which has a whole bunch of definitions). He enjoys watching me with women and interacting, sexually, with only me, only them, or both of us (lady's choice). He is fine wih a MFM threesome - where I get two guys interacting with me but not each other (which I classify as "straight but not narrow").. You can be "poly-friendly" or "poly-flexible" (OK with your partners having other partners) without being poly yourself (needing to have multiple sexual and/or romantic partners for yourself.
 
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If I am reading this correctly, not every interaction where she is with other men necessarily involves you as well (a threesome)? NOT knocking threesomes! (Love it, do it, wrote a post - Threesomes - a PlayBook (explicit)
Yes, that’s it, You are reading it correctly. The majority of relationships she forms with other men have been and would be just her. A few might have a threesome involving me. Relationships she might form with other women would be just her.
 
Greetings Therabbit,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you and your wife have successfully smoothed out the bumps in the road, and are at a really good place with each other now. That's good to hear. So your setup is a bit different from the average, there is nothing wrong with that, you are not cookie-cutter people. I'm glad you could join our site, your experience will help others, also if you have any questions we'll be happy to answer. Enjoy your stay!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
It sounds like you and your wife have successfully smoothed out the bumps in the road, and are at a really good place with each other now. That's good to hear. So your setup is a bit different from the average, there is nothing wrong with that, you are not cookie-cutter people. I'm glad you could join our site, your experience will help others, also if you have any questions we'll be happy to answer. Enjoy your stay!
Thanks for the warm welcome! I should mention that we are not married. :) I have been married, miserably, for ten years. Supposedly traditional monogamy, an alcoholic dumpster fire of sexless codependency with serial cheating by all parties involved! Thank heavens that was all a long time ago! :)
 
Oh oops, sorry, I said "wife" without considering that you said "partner" and what that probably means. Sometimes I don't pay attention. I think you are wise to not get married, I tolerate marriage but I am not a strong advocate of it. I don't believe in making promises about a future I can't predict. Anyway, I'm glad you're here.
 
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