Hello from California


New member

I just found this forum and thought it would be great to connect with people that are experienced in this lifestyle.

A little about myself: my wife and I have been together for 15 years and married for 7. We have always been adventurous and have experimented with threesomes, and even attended a few swinger parties, but with no luck.

About two years ago, my wife met this girl and began to build a relationship with her. It started off as friends, then eventually shifted over into a triad relationship. It is very complex, since this new girl has a boyfriend. (He is married to another woman, as well.)

My wife and I both developed feelings for this girl. However, due to the complicated nature of all the relationships, we never could actually have a true poly relationship. The other girl unexpectedly developed feelings for us, which resulted in the need for space to figure out her emotions and decide what she wants. It is something that we are still trying to have, and would really want to have this new girl really be our third.

It has definitely had a lot of ups and downs, with plenty of uncertainty. When it was good, it was amazing. I’m looking forward to learning more about this lifestyle as I now will begin to look for another potential partner to be a third in our relationship.
Greetings NightShadow,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, finding a new third is probably going to be your best bet, I don't think your current third is going to work out. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm glad you could find this forum, and I hope we can be helpful in some small way. Keep us posted on your situation, and let us know whenever questions arise for you.

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
Out of curiosity, why do you refer to her as a "girl"? Is she that much younger than you both?
Out of curiosity, why do you refer to her as a "girl"? Is she that much younger than you both?
That was a super-loud needle scratch for me, too. Their "third" is a "girl," but this "girl's" bf is married to another "woman."

Where is the respect for this shared female partner of theirs?

I know we all might use "girl" casually to refer to grown women. To me, it's kind of like the use of the N-word amongst people of color. One black person can call their black friend "n....r," but heaven forbid a white person use that word. And that's entirely understandable.

In the same fashion, as a woman, I might call my adult female friends my "girls," or "girl friends," but we don't really want random MEN to call us girls.

It's always like this. There are "men" and "girls." It's so belittling. Let's stop it.