Hello 💕

[xmoonember]

Hello! You can call me Ember.

I am a 35F from SoCal who recently fell into polyamory.

I'm neurodivergent and enjoy various special interests including K-pop, anime, games of all kinds, and reading. I love chatting about all types of hobbies.

My current relationship structure:

• Duck (35M), husband: Together for 16 years, married for 7. We have two children together, a 3.5 yr old boy and a 1 yr old girl. Also dating Raven.
• Raven (29F), paramour: Dating 4 months. Together with Finch 5 months. Has an additional local partner, as well as a couple they see back home.
• Finch (25M/NB), paramour: Dating 4 months, D/s relationship (sub). Together with Raven 5 months. Has 2-3 additional kink play partners [Sparrow (30NB), Owl (26F), and Hawk (26F)].

I have autonomous relationships with Duck, Raven, and Finch. Raven and I additionally are a throuple with Duck/Finch. The four of us consider ourselves a polycule.

I've joined this forum to find a safe space to essentially journal about my poly journey. I am very open to kind and gentle feedback, including that which may challenge my thinking. I hope to avoid severe judgement or poly-policing (ahem, Reddit...), so please be considerate. We'll see if this sticks.

Anyway, nice to meet you!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Ember,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

We have a good board for you to journal about your poly journey, it is called Life stories and blogs. You shouldn't have to worry about receiving criticism on that board, unless you expressly invite it. In any case, to me it sounds like you are doing poly right so far, carry on.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Magdlyn]

Hi, Ember. Welcome!

That's a pretty big poly network! I hope you all can keep everything balanced.

You said one thing that confused me a little:

Raven and I... are a throuple with Duck/Finch.

You and Duck are a long-term married couple, but it seems you put Raven first, as if she's more primary for you in this particular group? Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Also, you list four people, but call it a throuple. Generally when there are four people romantically/perhaps sexually involved, it's called a quad.

Anyway, this seems pretty complicated, but I am sure if you journal about all this it will become clearer. I wish you well.

Most people think this board is kinder and gentler than Reddit, so I hope you feel more comfortable here.

 

[xmoonember]

Ah yeah I can see where that got confusing! Allow me to break it down more clearly.

Duck is my husband and primary partner.

I date both Raven and Finch autonomously. We have our own relationships together. Duck additionally sees Raven autonomously. Duck and Finch do not date.

Raven, Duck, and I consider ourselves a throuple when the 3 of us are together, as we sometimes date and are intimate together.
The same goes for Raven, Finch, and I.

Hope that makes more sense.

Thank you for the warm welcome!