Kynde
Member
I'm going to go molasses slow, uphill, in the winter LOL
Homesteading Triad, Dynamics, and the Family Calendar
- Thread starter Kynde
- Start date
Kynde
Member
I changed my user name today to reflect my new status.
The books that helped me the most to recognize these patterns and get out include:
Psychopath Free, by Jackson MacKenzie
Whole Again, by Jackson MacKenzie
The Narcissists Playbook, by Dana Morningstar
Complex PTSD, by Pete Walker
YouTube channel
www.youtube.com
Podcasts:
Navigating Narcissism
open.spotify.com
Narcissist Apocalypse
Something Was Wrong
somethingwaswrong.com
The books that helped me the most to recognize these patterns and get out include:
Psychopath Free, by Jackson MacKenzie
Whole Again, by Jackson MacKenzie
The Narcissists Playbook, by Dana Morningstar
Complex PTSD, by Pete Walker
YouTube channel
DoctorRamani
Your #1 source of guidance about healing from narcissistic relationships. DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.
www.youtube.com
Podcasts:
Navigating Narcissism
Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani
Podcast · [object Object] · We all have to deal with narcissists. Now, it’s time to heal from them. In this groundbreaking series, clinical psychologist and world’s leading expert on narcissism Dr. Ramani Durvasula talks to survivors and experts to help millions left reeling from narcissistic...
open.spotify.com
Narcissist Apocalypse
Homepage - Narcissist Apocalypse
Narcissist Apocalypse Podcast Narcissist Apocalypse is a raw and unfiltered podcast that gives a voice to survivors of domestic abuse BROWSE EPISODES
narcissistapocalypse.com
Something Was Wrong
Something Was Wrong - Something Was Wrong
Something Was Wrong is an immersive storytelling docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally abusive relationships.
somethingwaswrong.com
Kynde
Member
I am doing really good. I am at peace and settled back into my city home. In the process of cleaning stuff I found a greeting card from them both that said, "May your new home be filled with love" and on the inside it said "Welcome Home" and was signed by them both.
I wrote a card which I will not send, but it felt good to write it anyway.
It says,
Dear (his given name)
I miss many aspects of the Homestead, and I miss many things about your love and times together. I gave of myself the best I could, and you promised to be my partner, and more importantly, to protect me and keep me from harm. You gave me a home. You gave me a family. You gave me a a dream.
In the end I had to protect myself from you. And for a submissive that is an awful, heart-wrenching place to be. But for my child's sake, I had to protect her Mommy. Because before I was your Birdie, I was her Mommy.
No one has ever made me feel the highs as you have. And no one has made me feel the lows. No one has ever yelled at me like you have, or slammed doors, or kicked me out of my own (supposedly) home, over and over again. Property must protect property-- that is the first rule of a D/s Dynamic.
I am now settled back into the city home, and the first week I did nothing but sleep, allow my emotions to settle down, and to feel safe again, knowing there would be no more fighting or being told to Get The Hell Out.
In the end, I realized I don't need a family or a partner to make me complete. I am complete as I am.
And that is a beautiful thing.
Love,
Me
I wrote a card which I will not send, but it felt good to write it anyway.
It says,
Dear (his given name)
I miss many aspects of the Homestead, and I miss many things about your love and times together. I gave of myself the best I could, and you promised to be my partner, and more importantly, to protect me and keep me from harm. You gave me a home. You gave me a family. You gave me a a dream.
In the end I had to protect myself from you. And for a submissive that is an awful, heart-wrenching place to be. But for my child's sake, I had to protect her Mommy. Because before I was your Birdie, I was her Mommy.
No one has ever made me feel the highs as you have. And no one has made me feel the lows. No one has ever yelled at me like you have, or slammed doors, or kicked me out of my own (supposedly) home, over and over again. Property must protect property-- that is the first rule of a D/s Dynamic.
I am now settled back into the city home, and the first week I did nothing but sleep, allow my emotions to settle down, and to feel safe again, knowing there would be no more fighting or being told to Get The Hell Out.
In the end, I realized I don't need a family or a partner to make me complete. I am complete as I am.
And that is a beautiful thing.
Love,
Me
Kynde
Member
It's been a little over a month. I'm healing and moving on.
I think I'll be solo poly for a long long time, maybe forever, and that's fine.
This morning I woke up in my own bed to a quiet Sunday. I was a poly pool party last night which was fun, nice people.
I have made new connections.
The more times passes between that breakup and the present, I see just how toxic that situation was.
I forgive myself for falling into his (their) trap. I am a kind, generous person who sees the best in people.
Now I'm learning to be more careful, and see the best in people, but protect myself, too.
I have started a new chapter and a new blog!
I think I'll be solo poly for a long long time, maybe forever, and that's fine.
This morning I woke up in my own bed to a quiet Sunday. I was a poly pool party last night which was fun, nice people.
I have made new connections.
The more times passes between that breakup and the present, I see just how toxic that situation was.
I forgive myself for falling into his (their) trap. I am a kind, generous person who sees the best in people.
Now I'm learning to be more careful, and see the best in people, but protect myself, too.
I have started a new chapter and a new blog!
Kynde
Member
I would love to say it had a happy ending but if you read on, it ended terribly and I'm now out of it. :-( But it was a lovely wonderful dream and I take with me many happy memories along with recovering from the yucky stuff.I literally just joined this group moments ago & clicked on your post because you mentioned homesteading. My mind was blown. Your relationship is the exact one, I pray for. Other then the Dom/Sub portion, I could've written it except asking for "her" to come move into our tiny home, on 11 acres, in the middle of the woods, be our bestfriend in life, learn to homestead, enjoy our acre pond & take lots of super fun road trips with me & be loved by us.
But nit yo ramble...I'm super stoked you have found your happy!
dragonflysoul75
New member
I'm so sorry, I commented on the wrong post. I did read all of your post & I'm also sorry that it ended badly. I'm sending you all the sweetest positive juju in your new life journey
Kynde
Member
Thank you!I'm so sorry, I commented on the wrong post. I did read all of your post & I'm also sorry that it ended badly. I'm sending you all the sweetest positive juju in your new life journey
It was a dream of mine and it had some beautiful moments.