So for starters…I’ve been through ALOT and I mean since I was 6 my family and I have been constantly going homeless. Jumping from state to state and stranger to stranger. Now for 5 years they’re ok, I am the main one struggling now. my mom started going crazy and it’s just a lot. It’s a whole different story but that is why and how I got here.
I joined this friend group online and the girl introduced me to everyone and I liked everyone’s energy. Months passed I would say 3–5 months and I got closer and closer to this one guy (don’t get me wrong every single one of my friends has a special relationship with me like him).
When I found out he had a girl which was early on I was upset but accepted it Instantly. So after those 3-5 months we got closer, always FaceTimed, always played the game with each other or friends , and etc etc. he started buying me things and caring more. Opening up me which surprised me.
I moved to his area including where the whole friend group lives as well (more than 6+ of them) and I just been a bit off about the situation. I had no choice but to move bc of my mom. He has always bought me things, talks to me as if I’m his gf, treats me very well, and he’s just a really really nice guy who is sensitive just as me. He even acts the same way to his current partner. We communicate well but I have been holding this back. I never told him because it has never changed and I told him this before. So why say it again if he’s going to say to me “he should be the one worried about who gets hurt not me”.
But again…it seems like it’s just a way to keep me going with this bc that’s what HE wants. I am a very sensitive, considerate, and caring person. I can’t stand seeing others hurt or the thought of doing it. I have been through too much and taught/raised to well to let this continue. The fact that I let this start hurts even more. It started by him listening to my problems too and I didn’t realize how we were till a month after.
When I was little I promised myself so many oaths on what not to do. This is one of those things. I hate hiding secrets from others especially one like this. I don’t like interfering with other’s relationships. Out of every one in my family, I am the main person people come to for advice because that’s how wise I am when it comes to love. Here I am being the opposite.
He’s been with her for more than 2 years. Which pushed me away even more. I instantly thought “you should’ve BEEN told her” when he said how long they’ve been together (and I asked, he never told me till I asked). He is even willing to break up if she doesn’t accept him. I don’t like that. I went to hang out with them and it was fun honestly. I enjoyed it. I am pansexual too and I accept all types of love.
But today I..for some reason agreed to go on a trip with him and him only. Im having second thoughts because I don’t want anyone thinking I am an evil person or have no heart. She isn’t going too. deep down no one knows how overthinking I am and my mind kills me literally. I don’t know what to do. I was going to, you know, go, to talk about it but the feeling in my stomach is so strong I feel like crying but I am an adult and I let my shyness do this. Instead of me being brave I tucked away. It’s so hard for me to speak up when things like this happen.
When I came into town he had to pick me up and on the same day he started holding my hand, kissing it and he kissed me. I didn’t expect that and I was nervous so I let it happen. I’m a very shy person and when stuff like this happens I don’t know what to do. I freeze. When he left out to go to the store I slouched down into the seat and cried. I didn’t want that to happen. I was going to shut it down. Yeah you can be kind and caring but minus the affectionate love and touching.
I’m scared. Scared for her and him. I just want to be happy and this is not what I meant. It’s more like cheating and I hate cheaters. I don’t want him to become that. He’s been through a lot with girls but again… we both been through a lot to know a lot from right and wrong. I think he should tell her. We should be just friends which he say we are but it’s getting more like friends with benefits. I say that because he wants to do intimate things with me and he said he loves me. And he just called….
I joined this friend group online and the girl introduced me to everyone and I liked everyone’s energy. Months passed I would say 3–5 months and I got closer and closer to this one guy (don’t get me wrong every single one of my friends has a special relationship with me like him).
When I found out he had a girl which was early on I was upset but accepted it Instantly. So after those 3-5 months we got closer, always FaceTimed, always played the game with each other or friends , and etc etc. he started buying me things and caring more. Opening up me which surprised me.
I moved to his area including where the whole friend group lives as well (more than 6+ of them) and I just been a bit off about the situation. I had no choice but to move bc of my mom. He has always bought me things, talks to me as if I’m his gf, treats me very well, and he’s just a really really nice guy who is sensitive just as me. He even acts the same way to his current partner. We communicate well but I have been holding this back. I never told him because it has never changed and I told him this before. So why say it again if he’s going to say to me “he should be the one worried about who gets hurt not me”.
But again…it seems like it’s just a way to keep me going with this bc that’s what HE wants. I am a very sensitive, considerate, and caring person. I can’t stand seeing others hurt or the thought of doing it. I have been through too much and taught/raised to well to let this continue. The fact that I let this start hurts even more. It started by him listening to my problems too and I didn’t realize how we were till a month after.
When I was little I promised myself so many oaths on what not to do. This is one of those things. I hate hiding secrets from others especially one like this. I don’t like interfering with other’s relationships. Out of every one in my family, I am the main person people come to for advice because that’s how wise I am when it comes to love. Here I am being the opposite.
He’s been with her for more than 2 years. Which pushed me away even more. I instantly thought “you should’ve BEEN told her” when he said how long they’ve been together (and I asked, he never told me till I asked). He is even willing to break up if she doesn’t accept him. I don’t like that. I went to hang out with them and it was fun honestly. I enjoyed it. I am pansexual too and I accept all types of love.
But today I..for some reason agreed to go on a trip with him and him only. Im having second thoughts because I don’t want anyone thinking I am an evil person or have no heart. She isn’t going too. deep down no one knows how overthinking I am and my mind kills me literally. I don’t know what to do. I was going to, you know, go, to talk about it but the feeling in my stomach is so strong I feel like crying but I am an adult and I let my shyness do this. Instead of me being brave I tucked away. It’s so hard for me to speak up when things like this happen.
When I came into town he had to pick me up and on the same day he started holding my hand, kissing it and he kissed me. I didn’t expect that and I was nervous so I let it happen. I’m a very shy person and when stuff like this happens I don’t know what to do. I freeze. When he left out to go to the store I slouched down into the seat and cried. I didn’t want that to happen. I was going to shut it down. Yeah you can be kind and caring but minus the affectionate love and touching.
I’m scared. Scared for her and him. I just want to be happy and this is not what I meant. It’s more like cheating and I hate cheaters. I don’t want him to become that. He’s been through a lot with girls but again… we both been through a lot to know a lot from right and wrong. I think he should tell her. We should be just friends which he say we are but it’s getting more like friends with benefits. I say that because he wants to do intimate things with me and he said he loves me. And he just called….
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