I don't think my husband is ever going to accept me

polywanna said:
Yes. It's not like he had sex with her. We have no idea if this is just a friends thing.
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Well, I had to ask because you were talking about having compersion for him, how he spent hours chatting her up, and your hopefulness about moving forward into polyamory, but the glaring omission in your post was whether or not he explained his situation to her. I thought he must've told her, since they shared their FB pages with each other, but we've seen all kinds of stories here, so just was wondering.
 
polywanna said:
Thanks everyone. I asked him what he wants to do on my side of things and he said he didn't know yet. So I think I'm going to see how things go with him so he doesn't have to process his feelings of guilt and weirdness with other women while also processing jealousy and anxiety over my involvement with men.

I have had major depression most of my life and I'm on medication and go to therapy. But sometimes I just get emotionally exhausted. It's for the best because I was going to go with him but didn't feel like it. I don't think he would have been comfortable flirting and talking to her with me there.
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Well hopefully he doesn't demand monogamy again if things don't pan out for him.
 
I feel like there's a great comedy plot here somewhere. A non-monogamous husband or wife tries to figure out a way to tempt their mono spouse into going out with someone else and get hooked on non-monogamy themselves. In Hollywood, the couple would just want each other and live happily ever after monogamously. I say this should be an indie movie so you can do the right ending, where they're happiest with each other, but they're still with other people.
 
Can I be the cinematographer, NYC?
 
tronprogram said:
I feel like there's a great comedy plot here somewhere. A non-monogamous husband or wife tries to figure out a way to tempt their mono spouse into going out with someone else and get hooked on non-monogamy themselves. In Hollywood, the couple would just want each other and live happily ever after monogamously. I say this should be an indie movie so you can do the right ending, where they're happiest with each other, but they're still with other people.
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FallenAngelina said:
Super idea. All we need is a filmmaker and a Kickstarter campaign. :D
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nycindie said:
[Raises hand.]
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Magdlyn said:
Can I be the cinematographer, NYC?
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I would fund that Kickstarter and volunteer to be a script-editor. (No experience with film ... but I think I was a ghost-writer in some previous existence, if I believed in such, which I don't...:eek:)
 
So we went to therapy and talked about the guy I am interested in who is long distance. I said I don't want him to be a guinea pig at all and that I know my husband isn't ready for me to tell this guy I'm poly or ask him if he's interested.
She suggested I talk to someone on OKC and try to see if I have a connection with anyone. And then talk to husband and see how he feels, so we can guage where he is emotionally.
He seemed fearful but he agreed to it.
I found someone I've been talking to who I would definitely be interested in meeting up with if only as friends. So I'm going to pick a good time tonight after the kids go to sleep to tell him that.
I found this guy and I went to college together and have a lot in common so if nothing else he might be a good friend and a foot in the door to more poly people for support.

And my husband met a bunch of younger cis women last year while he was dressed and has gone out with a few times when I wasn't feeling the cross dressing thing. They have invited him to a few things in the next couple of weeks. He has asked me like three times if I mind and I keep telling him I have no problem with it.
I told him if he wants to date one of them that's fine but he thinks they are too young. He's going to go our as his male self with them for the first time. He said they are very supportive, so I told him to tell then he's poly and they can be wing women.

So things are moving along. I feel emotionally exhausted somerimes. Or maybe it's because our sex life has gone crazy in the last couple of weeks. :)
 
tronprogram said:
I feel like there's a great comedy plot here somewhere. A non-monogamous husband or wife tries to figure out a way to tempt their mono spouse into going out with someone else and get hooked on non-monogamy themselves. In Hollywood, the couple would just want each other and live happily ever after monogamously. I say this should be an indie movie so you can do the right ending, where they're happiest with each other, but they're still with other people.
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Sounds like a Friends with Benefits sequel in the making.
 
Hi polywanna, thanks for your update, it sounds like things are still gradually improving which gladdens me. I'm rooting for you and your husband.
 
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