Excuse me but your advice is generally really horrible. So thanks for nothing.Oh I'd certainly say it to your face.
You seem to be in a cycle where you think your own self-destructive behaviors are a punishment or "consequence" for others. They arent. You only hurt yourself and people you love.
Right now, this second, you could send a message to Jade and block him if you can't keep away. Delete his number. That would be a first step.
Then you could think about how you're going to gain independence. You could hash out some ideas with people on and offline. Make a plan. Start on the first goal.
Sometimes you just have to do the step(s), almost on autopilot, and hope everything else catches up.
You may leave and be nasty and cruel towards people in your real life but I'm not gonna fall for your trolling any longer.
Why am I supposed to block the first person who has made me feel absolutely fantastic in decades? I have no reason to do so. And also he owes me a lot of dates :3.
I know from experience that I can do things on autopilot if I'm really tired and really desperate but Jade is not going anywhere anytime soon. He fucks like a champ and is an absolutely beautiful human. The only thing I'm wondering is when and how to let him know that I really, really like him...