Managing the Magic and the Mundane

Charlie

Member
Aloneness

"Aloneness is a state of being, whereas loneliness is a state of feeling. It's like the difference between being broke and being poor." - Townes Van Zandt


I am always wary of pontification, narcissism, and arrogance. Sometimes it happens anyway, no matter how much humble pie I eat for dinner.

And I love pie.

There are times when I am reminded of an observation made by a very calm and stoic mentor from my youth. He said this:

"You have to be just arrogant enough to know that you are good, and good enough to be a little arrogant."

Know what you're good at. Own what you are not. And then, get to work.

I am good at being alone. Always have been. Emotional and physical self-sufficiency was instilled in me by both Nature and Nurture, and later, by Empathy and Experience. Likewise, I was born with and encouraged to pursue artistic passions, wandering through my mind, looking for ideas to manifest and emotions to outlet. By and large, this has been a blessing in my life, enabling me to make something out of nothing, to do with what I have, and learn how to fit my own skin.

The down side to being a loner is that, while it has kept me from developing co-dependent relationships, it has also provided me a place, physically and emotionally, to exist isolated from those who would have me be closer. It has always been a struggle for me to balance the inter-personal with the inner person.

What I am trying to say is this:

I am not good at trimming the sails on deck when the ship gets to rocking. Oh, I'm still on board, but you're likely to find me below-deck, carving a new teak figurehead for the bowsprit, or knotting a hammock for a shipmate.

Okay then, enough is enough, I'm putting down my tinkering and coming up topside to see what real work needs doing...

Anchors away.
 

River

Active member
Holy Petunias! No wonder RC and CF love Charlie! What a fine, polished, (pollished? ...) and rustic jewel! I'll have to love him too, then. At some distance. But up close.

This forum has some of the most amazing, glorious human beings in it. It make me proud to be human, overjoyed with hope in us. Thank you and a deep bow.
 

River

Active member
Jealousy. Show me one single relationship, family, friend, or otherwise, that does not have it and I will show you the meaning of the word "apathy".

You're a brilliant man, but what you just said here just ain't so. Sorry. None of us sees the whole puzzle, layed out in pieces.

Jealousy is more like a good piece of firewood. It burns and burns and burns until there's nothing left of it but ashes and soot. It makes smoke while doing this, and pops and crackles. If it's burning real hot it can burn fast and ... a phoenix stretches its wings and ... well, it flies!

The burning need only hurt a moment if'n we're willing.
 

Charlie

Member
Nothing belongs to me.

I once stood on the edge of the Badlands naked, a thousand miles from home, in the early Sun of a South Dakota morning. A great friend stood next to me, naked, and we feasted on the lunar landscape before us, as the mosquitoes feasted on our banquet of flesh.

In four thousand miles of that adventure, I took not a single picture. My great friend is no longer such a friend, him being lost to me down a different path. Such is the way of many friendships. It is a hard lesson learned.

That great traveling West was my first in that direction, and the vastness of this country was staggering. In the years that have followed, I have fearlessly traveled hundreds of thousands of miles in the width and breadth of this country, always with hope.

Each time I have set out on the road, I have purged my belongings of excess. In the beginning, it was for the practical considerations of limitations in volume, mass, and money. But alas, form follows function. The lack of possessions soon became spiritually unbinding.

The less I had to manage, the more peace I found. Anything that was not adaptable to multiple uses was left, pawned, or passed on. As I let go of objects, I gained space. As I let go of people, I gained freedom. As I let go of control, I saw open spaces instead of fences.

To a fault, I have at times sacrificed conventional comforts for the sake of mobility and independence. I have relied on reciprocal generosity from time to time for room and board. More often than not, I have paid my way by working hard for my living. The world owes me nothing.

I live within a culture that encourages identity based on possessions and ownership, things that can be stolen, lost, or broken. I live in a culture of excess. I am as much a consumer as the next person and far from being carbon neutral, but I do not collect, and I do not covet.

I am flawed, certainly, but I can stand before the World, naked and unflinching, with the knowledge that all that I can lay honest claim to exists in the nothingness of my mind. What my two hands are able to create out of that nothingness amazes me still and their feats of Creation are a blessing.

That I know nothing of envy or jealousy is a direct result of proactively denying possession, of things, ideas, or love. I believe in stewardship, not ownership, and I do my best as a caretaker. That I have broken things that were in my care is also true, and in those failures I have learned to hold things more lightly.

Do not be fooled by these scars and calloused hands: I am rough only because the World has required it.

I hold this feather gently for you.
 
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River

Active member

nycindie

Active member
That I know nothing of envy or jealousy is a direct result of proactively denying possession, of things, ideas, or love. I believe in stewardship, not ownership, and I do my best as a caretaker. That I have broken things that were in my care is also true, and in those failures I have learned to hold things more lightly.

Ahh! There it is.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
 

Charlie

Member
No pain, no gain

My face hurts from smiling so much last night and my ribs hurt from laughing so hard the night before.

A little "hair of the dog", if you will.

Thinking about it over weak coffee this morning, I'm pretty sure the moonshine got passed around last night for the sole purpose of dulling the pain of the laughter.

I am glad for the quart jar of moonshine. I would be in much worse shape today for lack of it.

That my buddy's mom had the foresight to bring such medicinal spirits with her was a blessing.

Moms are good like that.
 

River

Active member
There's a line in a movie that goes... "I'll have what she's having". And the above evokes it. And yet... We seem to be imbibing the same Spirit. Already! May all become so intoxicated!
 

Charlie

Member
Daodejing

19. Simplify

If we could abolish knowledge and wisdom
Then people would profit a hundredfold;
If we could abolish duty and justice
Then harmonious relationships would form;
If we could abolish artifice and profit
Then waste and theft would disappear.

Yet such remedies treat only symptoms
And so they are inadequate.

People need personal remedies:
Reveal your naked self and embrace your original nature;
Bind your self-interest and control your ambition;
Forget your habits and simplify your affairs.
 

Charlie

Member
My hands

Everyday when I wake from dreaming, my hands lead me back to the World.
How they know the path to consciousness is a mystery.

Here is where my trust of myself begins.

My fingers, still ten in number, gently scrape the sleep from my eyes,
quietly obliging my mind's haste to see.

The blind leading the blind.

I have patient hands. They hover calmly, waiting for my direction, and loyally do my bidding, bleeding silently when I force them to bear it.

They know I will never outlast them.

So, without a pompous word between them, they politely take the lead when asked. Oh my, how they brilliantly shine.

When I give over to them, they show me the way back again.

My hands have taken me places where my body may not follow. In their wake, my soul has been shaken with the power of Creation, Destruction...

It is all the same to them.

When I am my hands, I am kindest to myself.

When I am my hands, I am you.
 

Charlie

Member
Daodejing

67. Unimportance

All the world says,
"I am important;
I am separate from all the world.
I am important because I am separate,
Were I the same, I could never be important."

Yet here are three treasures
That I cherish and commend to you:
The first is compassion,
By which one finds courage.
The second is restraint,
By which one finds strength.
And the third is unimportance,
By which one finds influence.

Those who are fearless, but without compassion,
Powerful, but without restraint,
Or influential, yet important,
Cannot endure.
 

Charlie

Member
The Blues

My main concern is that polyamorous behavior and its tendency towards honesty, compersion, emotional and spiritual self-sufficiency, and all 'round lovingkindness has the potential to take the "stang" outta the Blues...

No more lyin', cheatin', or low down mistreatin'

Then again, I still miss folks when they're gone.
 

Charlie

Member
Daodejing

27. Perfection

The perfect traveler leaves no trail to be followed;
The perfect speaker leaves no question to be answered;
The perfect accountant leaves no working to be completed;
The perfect container leaves no lock to be closed;
The perfect knot leaves no end to be ravelled.

So the sage nurtures all men
And abandons no one.
He accepts everything
And rejects nothing.
He attends to the smallest details.

So the strong must guide the weak,
For the weak are raw material to the strong.
If the guide is not respected,
Or the material is not cared for,
Confusion will result, no matter how clever one is.

This is the secret of perfection:
When raw wood is carved, it becomes a tool;
When a man is employed, he becomes a tool;
The perfect carpenter leaves no wood to be carved.
 

Charlie

Member
Daodejing

80. Utopia

Let your community be small, with only a few people;
Keep tools in abundance, but do not depend upon them;
Appreciate your life and be content with your home;
Sail boats and ride horses, but don't go too far;
Keep weapons and armour, but do not employ them;
Let everyone read and write,
Eat well and make beautiful things.

Live peacefully and delight in your own society;
Dwell within cock-crow of your neighbours,
But maintain your independence from them.
 

Charlie

Member
Where I shine

You must understand, and this is very simple, that I give love directly and naturally to any and all things. I like the way love feels for the giving.

Rarechild and Catfish are my friends and my family; I love them both, and that's just the way it is.

What I am able to see of myself through their eyes is humbling and fantastic. I remain in awe of their capacity for love, of themselves, of each other, and of me.

What remains of me, physically isolated from them on a daily basis, is a refined version of the ore of myself; I am comforted by my own potential.

I am no charlatan and I am good at what I do. And what I do is live, passionately.

I am a maker of things, of objects and experiences, and it is in this that I shine most brightly.

It is time again for me to shine, brilliantly, vibrantly, coherently, and with clarity. Work awaits me, in the kind I like best, and I assure you it threatens to shake me to my core.

These are my constant daemons, the ones who drive me, fervently, down a path of self examination and cultural filtration. These daemons, my life-long companions, are the caretakers of my soul.

What has this to do with a polyamorous life?

Everything.

To know that I am seen, well and honestly by two enormous souls, is a glass of magnification upon my own image of myself.

Where I shine most brightly is at the edge of my fingertips, past the precipice of self-doubt, and beyond the expectations of my imagination.

It is high time I got to work.

And that's just the way it is.
 

Rarechild

New member
Yes, plz

80. Utopia

Let your community be small, with only a few people;
Keep tools in abundance, but do not depend upon them;
Appreciate your life and be content with your home;
Sail boats and ride horses, but don't go too far;
Keep weapons and armour, but do not employ them;
Let everyone read and write,
Eat well and make beautiful things.

Live peacefully and delight in your own society;
Dwell within cock-crow of your neighbours,
But maintain your independence from them.

Oh, my soul.
 
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