Mourning my lost relationships & looking forward

Valynn

Member
The End Is In Sight

3 more dental visits for the completion of this root canal & crown! Final post was permanently bonded in today. Now comes for visit #1, the tooth prep & temporary crown. Visit #2 is impressions to make the final crown & then visit #3 final placement said crown. What I am going to ask is since I need impressions done of my lower front partial anyway. Why not do both of them at once & save another dental visit for impressions later.

It was also explained to me why it was taking so godsawful long. The dental office I go to is the practical residency program for the dental students. They are only allowed to do 1 hour blocks of work on a patient at a time. Plus my teeth are particularly difficult to work on. (narrow upper jaw, teeth rotated into wrong positions....ETC.)

And now some good, some bad

Mom's car went into the shop to have the transmission replaced. So I asked Elaine to drive me to & from the dentist. Well she forgot, fell asleep & I was almost late to my appointment. She woke up and immediately began to loudly bitch how she was "the only one in the house to schlep people everywhere! I am not a god dammed taxi service! "
I was already on edge from being upset about going to the dentist. And I felt bad that I was putting this on her. But I NEVER demand her take me anywhere. So I know she is angry with me putting her in this predicament anyway. Which make me feel twitchy, so I go into the kitchen & do some calming breathing exercises my therapist showed me to do. Felling a bit better we get on our way.
Getting into the car she closes her car door HARD and slams the car into gear. I am wearing my mask so I am able to keep doing my breathing, praying that she calms down soon. The more traffic happens that angrier she gets, and is now actively growling at the other drivers & speeding.
Thank goodness this is only to the next town over so this ride is relatively short. We keep hitting all the traffic lights. And it seems like everyone & their dumb Uncle is driving with us. She begins to grip the steering wheel tighter, making the plastic creak. Making my brain scream that she's gonna hit me at any second if I don't get out. I force myself to close my eyes & concentrate that she is most definitely not my ex bf who did hit me on the same road YEARS ago. Thank goodness shortly after we got to the building. I was able to get inside & break down for 10 minutes before going into the dentist's office. But if I wasn't on my meds I would be feeling much worse right now. And wouldn't have even made it into the dentist.
This was my first full on panic attack. I don't like them & I will be bringing this up to my therapist on the 25th. I know that the meds won't fully stop things triggering me. But once it's at full strength in my system. This won't be so bad.
 
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Valynn

Member
Little Scary Steps Forward

JR & I had lunch on Monday totally forgetting it was a holiday & that it was going to be a madhouse at our local bagel shop. We waited for 5 minutes to make our order. When all of a sudden the manager began to yell at the workers that the second register wasn't supposed to be opened. And that it was going to be a longer wait for everyone while they straightened it out.

We finally order & pay then go to to sit down to wait for the food in the café area. Almost 10 minutes pass & the order taker tells us that they didn't have the avocado for JR's sandwich. Already annoyed, he loudly demands to speak with the manager to get his money back for his sandwich. This sets off the manager & they begin to argue. He gets his money back & we wait for the rest of the order. My wrap arrives but his 2 plain sliced buttered bagels do not. I go to find out what happened now & was told that they had sold out of plain bagels. I immediately make the decision to get his money back for those to defuse another explosion & scene from JR. I was able to apologize to the manager while I was up there saying that this was a perfect shitstorm of problems that had happened. She nodded at me, but at that time I don't think she accepted it. I then got JR & walked him out explaining what had happened. When we got into the car I asked him "If I had brought you sliced & buttered plain mini bagels, would you have accepted them?" He blew out a big breath and said "Probably not." I nodded and said simply "Then I did the right thing by getting your money back & getting you out."

I feel like I delt well with that situation that would've had me crying & apologizing to JR to not be angry with me for picking the bagel place to start with. Cause I would've felt it was all my fault anyway.
 
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icesong

Moderator
Staff member
You dealt very well but quite frankly (and when I say "quite", I mean I'm not sober enough to have absolutely zero filter)... JR was an asshole in this. Are you ok with that?
 

Valynn

Member
You dealt very well but quite frankly (and when I say "quite", I mean I'm not sober enough to have absolutely zero filter)... JR was an asshole in this. Are you ok with that?
*deep sigh*

Yes. We have talked about this over the week & he said that he will work on his reactions to situations like that. I told him that I cannot & will not be with a person that will snap with little to no reason. I just won't have it in my life. This is a hard boundary for me.

I have a therapy session tomorrow via telehealth & will be discussing these past 2 incidents with her.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
I'm glad (and that sounds like a really hard boundary to enforce, so I'm not just saying that.)
 

Valynn

Member
I'm glad (and that sounds like a really hard boundary to enforce, so I'm not just saying that.)
Trust me I know. All of my long term relationships have been with men that have either lied through their teeth about everything, been abusive or abusive with a major mental disorder & anger issues. In the past, my relationships all seem to turn bad around the third year mark. This month, on the 11th, was our 3rd anniversary. Every one of my partners have said it was my fault that things changed. My mental disability, my forgetfulness, my inability to focus on things or on the long term future goals. So I took that out of the equation by getting help for my ADD & now PTSD w/anxiety.

The meds I am on have helped a great deal. I feel better & feel I can handle alot more stress. My business is doing wonderfully. I have been working at a reoccurring farmer's market for a month. I have done Feb. 6th & the 20th with two more Sundays lined up. One this Sunday & the other on March 6th. I have more separate events planned. The first is in early April & the second late April.

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I did just remember a scare that my family had on Wednesday morning. It appears that my mom's car was broken into & ransacked. The 2 glove boxes & the center console were open. Everything was strewn about the front seats. Nothing was taken except one of my boxes of soap product was found open on the lawn on the other side of our property (about 100 feet away from the car, where I had it stored). Everything of mine is now inside the house & the car is locked at all times, with the alarm on.
 
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Valynn

Member
Unbelievable - My Dental "insurance" denies me AGAIN

I got an automated call from them saying "Your claim for ______ has been denied" I am like claim for what? My dentist has put in for ALOT of work recently. So I choose to take the option of talking to a CS rep. This poor guy tells me that it's for my next appointment which is for the temporary crown not the final one. He then tells me that according to my insurance I have "8 teeth, either in front or behind, with four points of contact." Really? I only have a total of 15 teeth total. 11 of them are on the top. Going left to right, I have two molars behind the tooth being worked on & then my canine tooth. Next comes all of my incisor teeth (four of them) then the canine & finally two molars. On the lower (also going left to right) is the two molars. Everything going forward I lost due to hereditary gum disease, to my pre molar & one molar. I'd like to know which of these 8 teeth have contact. Cause if you count by the top teeth alone they do not connect with anything on the bottom after the tooth BEING WORKED ON. And I only have four molars total (both top & bottom) on that side. If I had done what the original CS rep in the summer had suggested & had it pulled & would have less teeth to chew with. This entire thing has me completely gobsmacked.
 
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Valynn

Member
Now for something completely different

I need prayers to whomever your calling is for tomorrow, March 10th. I have an interview for a Teacher's Assistant position at 1pm! I have been looking off and on for a part time job to bolster my small business. My ingredients, even in bulk, are not cheap. Also multiple event fees can be alot as well.
Fingers crossed that I get this. It would help out alot!
 
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Valynn

Member
This was not the birthday gift I wanted. Today I tested positive for Covid. I knew that he odds of my household not getting it were dwindling. Only 3 people currently do not have it. Dexus, the ex-brother-in-law & my almost 79yr mother
 

Valynn

Member
We all caught Covid. All of us are vaccinated. Mom & I are boosted. So all of are symptoms are mild. The worst symptoms were the dry cough/tightness in the chest & extreme exhaustion. Getting better slowly but it's very annoying.
 

Valynn

Member
The house is on the mend! Post Covid Update
I did laundry today! I had no energy while dealing with Covid so the laundry ending up piling up. So I had alot of it to do. But I feel great that I got it accomplished. All my symptoms now are due to the high pollen count.
 

JaneQSmythe

Well-known member
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better! I am just getting over my first (documented) case of Covid. Vaxxed and Boosted it was mostly a head cold although I am still feeling a bit run down. MrS tested positive but didn't develop any symptoms. MrClean, who I had seen 3 days prior, tested negative as did my entire immediate family including my elderly Aunt that we had dinner with 48 hours prior (Everyone Vaxxed and boosted.)
 

Valynn

Member
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better! I am just getting over my first (documented) case of Covid. Vaxxed and Boosted it was mostly a head cold although I am still feeling a bit run down. MrS tested positive but didn't develop any symptoms. MrClean, who I had seen 3 days prior, tested negative as did my entire immediate family including my elderly Aunt that we had dinner with 48 hours prior (Everyone Vaxxed and boosted.)
Thanks. It's been a hard couple of weeks here. We aren't sure who had brought it in the house, but since it was my birthday weekend Dexus was infected as well but never showed symptoms. His father & step-mother were away that weekend so when they came home they grabbed some clothes & stayed with her brother for the week.
I had spent the Saturday, April 9th with JR but he never tested positive. He is an essential worker so he gets tested every week.

I plan on giving some platelets or blood. to help the severely infected with my antibodies.
 
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Valynn

Member
Well, never did get the platelets donated. They asked me if I was getting dental work done & I answered yes. They disqualified me for now.

BUT as of last Wednesday, the nightmare of the root canal & crown is complete. The perm crown was placed & I don't have another dental visit until June. Unfortunately the attending Dentist found that I now have a small cavity on the molar behind the one they just worked on. So now that one needs to be fixed before the partial denture can be addressed. But thank goodness this will be covered but my insurance & will be a one visit procedure.
 

Valynn

Member
Our First Vacation is HAPPENING! SQUEEE!

JR & I are going on a week long camping trip with the Society for Creative Anachronism's largest event called Pennsic in Pennsylvania from August 5th through August 14th. This will be our first car trip as well, so wish us luck. I am so excited to bring him & I hope that he has as much fun as I do going to this event.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
I miss Pennsic!! I hope to go next year for 50 though.
 

Valynn

Member
I miss Pennsic!! I hope to go next year for 50 though.
Woot! I will be there! We should meet up! Polyamory.com meetup!
 
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Valynn

Member
More Dental Updates

I finally got the small filling completed. So now I don't have any other dental work to be completed other than routine cleanings & scalings. I still haven't heard anything from the insurance about the appeal for covering my partial denture. I am trying to contact the dentist to see if there is anything they can do to get the ball rolling on their end before I go on vacation. I highly doubt anything will happen before mid August. I really want to have nice pictures for my nephew's wedding in November. Time is running out.
 

Valynn

Member
The Dental Saga Continues.....

After I got my filling completed, back in the end of June, I sent my appeal paperwork out via regular mail. Since I hadn't heard anything from the insurance company. So I decided to call them & left a voicemail. On Tuesday, I nice customer service rep called to tell me that "Because today is the last day you can start an appeal on. I have expedited an appeal claim." I tell her that my paperwork should have already arrived & began the process almost a month ago. She replies " My records do not show any paperwork has arrived."
So now a letter stating that the appeals process has been sent to me & should arrive in 15 business days. I "should receive a decision on August 26th, but might take longer due to it being the last day." OMGs! this dental insurance is so fucking frustrating!
 

Valynn

Member
It's all in the dental insurance hands now
I got the paperwork from my dental insurance. Two separate letters, mind you. 🤔 Hmmmm, if my original paperwork didn't arrive. Why was there a letter telling me you had gotten it, but needed more info? I was able to fax it directly to the appeals department. I even got a call on my cell on Monday stating that they received it.

Two days to go until I leave for Pennsic! AKA YAY VACATION!!
We did a test pack of the car on Sunday to be sure everything fits into JR's Subaru Legacy. I shouldn't have been worried those cars have a huge amount of storage capacity. It all fit with room to spare. And JR said that he'd clear the trunk for even more room.

JR took a look at the pile of gear that was staged on my front lawn & said "That's it?" I laughed and said "My sweet summer child. I am a longtime medievalist (35yrs). I know how to pack small! Plus I am a Tetris master. I swear when I am packing, be it vendor or medieval, I always hear the music for Tetris in my head."
 
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