hippielettucesmoker
New member
I recently just came out to my boyfriend of 2 years that I was polyamorous. He says that he can’t be with me if I’m with other people, I want him to understand that he is my one true love but I feel the need to be surrounded by more than one, have more than one connection, he is truly and deeply hurt and I’m having a really hard time explaining to him and making him feel not insecure.
I have been unfaithful in the past, and I have told him I wanted to be with other people I just didn’t necessarily ever know what I was, and didn’t know the term poly. I have been faithful since my mishaps, and we really grew from that and it took a long time to heal but we did. I could never be unfaithful to him again, I know how much pain it caused him and I’m truly hurt and full of regret from the situation.
So last week I told him I was poly, and he thinks I’ve been cheating on him more. I explain to him I haven’t been and that I would and could never do that again to him. Which I won’t, I love him and even know knowing I am poly I would still never be unfaithful to him even if I began to have feelings for someone else. I have fucked up and I think he understands what was in the past was the past.
I’m bisexual, he knows this, I’m not sure if trying to gradually befriend a girl would be a better move if I talked to him because he Doesn’t ever want another man inside me or me with him. I get that. I just don’t know if my boyfriend will ever change his mind, or be more understanding and supportive of how I feel. We both want to make this work, but I feel as if I’m going to have to hide my true self if we stay together. I have faith he could be more understanding over time … but what if he isn’t? We both don’t want to waste our time, but we’ve been through so much together and I don’t ever see myself leaving him.
Help a girl out? Advice? This is so emotionally draining…
I have been unfaithful in the past, and I have told him I wanted to be with other people I just didn’t necessarily ever know what I was, and didn’t know the term poly. I have been faithful since my mishaps, and we really grew from that and it took a long time to heal but we did. I could never be unfaithful to him again, I know how much pain it caused him and I’m truly hurt and full of regret from the situation.
So last week I told him I was poly, and he thinks I’ve been cheating on him more. I explain to him I haven’t been and that I would and could never do that again to him. Which I won’t, I love him and even know knowing I am poly I would still never be unfaithful to him even if I began to have feelings for someone else. I have fucked up and I think he understands what was in the past was the past.
I’m bisexual, he knows this, I’m not sure if trying to gradually befriend a girl would be a better move if I talked to him because he Doesn’t ever want another man inside me or me with him. I get that. I just don’t know if my boyfriend will ever change his mind, or be more understanding and supportive of how I feel. We both want to make this work, but I feel as if I’m going to have to hide my true self if we stay together. I have faith he could be more understanding over time … but what if he isn’t? We both don’t want to waste our time, but we’ve been through so much together and I don’t ever see myself leaving him.
Help a girl out? Advice? This is so emotionally draining…