Myers Briggs and polyamory.
- Thread starter redsirenn
- Start date
copperhead
New member
So I'm confused… I'm used to being INFJ, occasionally INTJ, but now I came close to also being ENFJ/ENTJ. Seems like this Myers-Briggs isn't very useful for me anymore.
Hard to say. Googling the subject, apparently opinions vary. There's the standard "like attracts like" view, equally standard "opposite attracts" and variations thereof.
I suppose my Myers-Briggs designation might be different today than it was when I took the test what, six years ago? People do sometimes change a little here and there as the years roll by.
Any suggestions on which site has the best Myers-Briggs testing mechanism?
Any suggestions on which site has the best Myers-Briggs testing mechanism?
Kevin's Updated Results
Using http://kisa.ca/personality/ ... I come up ISFJ, almost INFJ.
Introverted (I) 79%
Extroverted (E) 21%
Sensing (S) 55%
Intuitive (N) 45%
Feeling (F) 90%
Thinking (T) 10%
Judging (J) 73%
Perceiving (P) 27%
---
Using http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp ... I come up INFJ.
Moderate preference of Introversion over Extroversion (56%)
Slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
Slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)
Moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)
---
Considering that my past results have been INFP and maybe INFJ, I would tend to say INFJ is my best current/overall guess for myself.
I: Introverted (definitely not extroverted)
N: Intuitive (though arguably sensing)
F: Feeling (hard to tell how much moreso than thinking)
J: Judging (used to be a bit more perceiving)
Using http://kisa.ca/personality/ ... I come up ISFJ, almost INFJ.
Introverted (I) 79%
Extroverted (E) 21%
Sensing (S) 55%
Intuitive (N) 45%
Feeling (F) 90%
Thinking (T) 10%
Judging (J) 73%
Perceiving (P) 27%
---
Using http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp ... I come up INFJ.
Moderate preference of Introversion over Extroversion (56%)
Slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
Slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)
Moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)
---
Considering that my past results have been INFP and maybe INFJ, I would tend to say INFJ is my best current/overall guess for myself.
I: Introverted (definitely not extroverted)
N: Intuitive (though arguably sensing)
F: Feeling (hard to tell how much moreso than thinking)
J: Judging (used to be a bit more perceiving)
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Using a combination of:
Introverted (definitely not extroverted), iNtuitive (though arguably sensing), Feeling (hard to tell how much moreso than thinking), and Judging (used to be a bit more perceiving).
- http://kisa.ca/personality/
- http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
- and past results:
Introverted (definitely not extroverted), iNtuitive (though arguably sensing), Feeling (hard to tell how much moreso than thinking), and Judging (used to be a bit more perceiving).
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alibabe_muse
Member
I used Kevin's:
1st link: ISFP
2nd link: ENTJ
I don't know much about either but I think this fits an answer I made on my blog about being an extrovert.
1st link: ISFP
2nd link: ENTJ
I don't know much about either but I think this fits an answer I made on my blog about being an extrovert.
Inyourendo
New member
Sam is an intp, my natural partner (estj) No wonder we are so compatible
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SchrodingersCat
Active member
The MBTI is quite a bit more complex than just "you're these 4 attributes."
http://www.timeenoughforlove.org/Notation.htm explains it well.
It doesn't stop at "I means you're an introvert, N means you intuit more than sense, F means you feel more than think, J means you judge more than you perceive."
There's a whole inter-relatedness to them. They basically rank how much you exhibit the 4 traits (S,N,T,F).
The J/P aren't actually personality traits. They determine which of your two dominant functions is extroverted, with the other being introverted. The "J" functions are "T/F" and the "P" functions are "S/N". The E/I determines both whether you're an extrovert or introvert, and whether your extroverted or introverted trait is most dominant. The two traits not appearing in your 4-letter-code are also ranked according to your I/E, but as 3rd and 4th rank.
So taking INTJ as an example. The Judging function, Thinking, is extroverted, and the Perceiving function, Intuition, is introverted. Introversion dominates, so Intuition is the dominant function. Next-dominant function is Thinking, which is expressed extrovertedly. Next is Sensing (introverted) then Feeling (extroverted).
http://www.timeenoughforlove.org/Notation.htm explains it well.
It doesn't stop at "I means you're an introvert, N means you intuit more than sense, F means you feel more than think, J means you judge more than you perceive."
There's a whole inter-relatedness to them. They basically rank how much you exhibit the 4 traits (S,N,T,F).
The J/P aren't actually personality traits. They determine which of your two dominant functions is extroverted, with the other being introverted. The "J" functions are "T/F" and the "P" functions are "S/N". The E/I determines both whether you're an extrovert or introvert, and whether your extroverted or introverted trait is most dominant. The two traits not appearing in your 4-letter-code are also ranked according to your I/E, but as 3rd and 4th rank.
So taking INTJ as an example. The Judging function, Thinking, is extroverted, and the Perceiving function, Intuition, is introverted. Introversion dominates, so Intuition is the dominant function. Next-dominant function is Thinking, which is expressed extrovertedly. Next is Sensing (introverted) then Feeling (extroverted).
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SchrodingersCat
Active member
I found it really challenging to retake the personality test right now, because I'm hot off the heels of a weeklong NVC workshop, where all we did was talk about feelings and needs for 6 hours a day, and emphasize how much judgements and thoughts get in the way of connecting to people...
I used to be IN(F/T)J, but I think I've really changed a lot in the 3 years since I took it. I've been working a lot on trying to become the kind of person I'd like to be, to focus more on harmonious relationships with the people in my life, to have more compassion for people. Living in the moment and letting the past be the past, the future be unknown.
So my results...
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (56%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (50%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (17%)
http://kisa.ca/personality/
Introverted (I) 64%
Sensing (S) 50%
Feeling (F) 70%
Perceiving (P) 73%
So... INFP? (I checked ISFP just to see. There were some bits that hit home, but the INFP description fit better overall.)
So I'm still a strong introvert, but I am coming out of my shell. Crowds still drain me, but I can work comfortably in small groups with people I know. I can handle those annoying shmooz parties, provided there are drink tickets at the back of my conference ID badge....
I've shifted from J to P, which is really weird (assuming the profile holds any weight). It means I've Extroverted my Intuition and Introverted my Feelings. That means my feelings have become dominant over my intuition. With that, I've also shifted more to Feeling, from Thinking, but I'm still more Intuitive than Sensing (though less starkly than before).
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html gives nice long write-ups on the personality types.
So that's interesting, because the description for INFP says I don't deal well with hard facts. Weird, being a physicist and all... but it would also explain why I haven't been as interested in my research as perhaps I could be, as much as I see other scientists diving in and me just being like "so, what's for dinner?" I've been wondering what was up with that? It also says I'm better at writing than speaking (true), and that I'd be a good teacher (which I've been much more interested in lately than research). Unaware of mundane life stuff? Check. Flexible and laid-back, do not like conflict? Check.
I'm struggling with this idea of my personality changing. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. Like, am I losing "me?" Or am I just gaining new ways of interacting with the world? I re-read the INFJ and INTJ, trying to hold on, but they didn't fit perfectly. Actually, none of them fit perfectly... which just goes to show that as you grow intentionally, you start to break the confines of limited profiles, and become an entirely new sort of entity. At least, that's what I'm choosing to take away from this.
I used to be IN(F/T)J, but I think I've really changed a lot in the 3 years since I took it. I've been working a lot on trying to become the kind of person I'd like to be, to focus more on harmonious relationships with the people in my life, to have more compassion for people. Living in the moment and letting the past be the past, the future be unknown.
So my results...
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (56%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (50%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (17%)
http://kisa.ca/personality/
Introverted (I) 64%
Sensing (S) 50%
Feeling (F) 70%
Perceiving (P) 73%
So... INFP? (I checked ISFP just to see. There were some bits that hit home, but the INFP description fit better overall.)
So I'm still a strong introvert, but I am coming out of my shell. Crowds still drain me, but I can work comfortably in small groups with people I know. I can handle those annoying shmooz parties, provided there are drink tickets at the back of my conference ID badge....
I've shifted from J to P, which is really weird (assuming the profile holds any weight). It means I've Extroverted my Intuition and Introverted my Feelings. That means my feelings have become dominant over my intuition. With that, I've also shifted more to Feeling, from Thinking, but I'm still more Intuitive than Sensing (though less starkly than before).
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html gives nice long write-ups on the personality types.
So that's interesting, because the description for INFP says I don't deal well with hard facts. Weird, being a physicist and all... but it would also explain why I haven't been as interested in my research as perhaps I could be, as much as I see other scientists diving in and me just being like "so, what's for dinner?" I've been wondering what was up with that? It also says I'm better at writing than speaking (true), and that I'd be a good teacher (which I've been much more interested in lately than research). Unaware of mundane life stuff? Check. Flexible and laid-back, do not like conflict? Check.
I'm struggling with this idea of my personality changing. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. Like, am I losing "me?" Or am I just gaining new ways of interacting with the world? I re-read the INFJ and INTJ, trying to hold on, but they didn't fit perfectly. Actually, none of them fit perfectly... which just goes to show that as you grow intentionally, you start to break the confines of limited profiles, and become an entirely new sort of entity. At least, that's what I'm choosing to take away from this.
Myers Briggs and relationship dynamics
I see the topic of Myers Briggs personality types and their prevelance in the polyamorous community has been discussed at length in a previous thread. I'm quite sure a variety of different personality types would be interested in polyamory although can imagine ESTJ's having some difficulty. However, what I am interested in is how personality types of those involved play a role in how a relationship evolves.
For example, I would theorize that Introverts would probably tend to prefer a few intimate long term relationships, while extraverts may be more comfortable with many shorter term relationships. I don't think one can generalize, but it would be interesting to know if there is indeed such a general trend.
Similarly, I would speculate that J's would prefer to have quite a number of rules that need to be followed, whilst P's may tend to prefer to let things develop spontaneously and not try to cage them in too much. If this is indeed the case, I can imagine it being difficult for a J/P coupling to negotiate the common rules. J's would probably not like surprises, and P's tend to appreciate a surprise every now and then.
I can also imagine that Thinkers would approach things differently from Feelers, especially where those little mishaps happen. Feelers may take things more personally and need a lot of support in getting over feelings of betrayal, whereas Thinkers may have a more pragmatic approach of "shit happens". This in itself I think could be a problem where a Thinker and a Feeler have to work things out, especially if the Thinker has reached a point of saturation of discussing emotional issues and the Feeler has not been able to process his/her emotions properly yet.
Can anybody relate to this? Have you experienced any other interesting dynamics with your partners that could make sense from a MBTI perspective?
P.S., I am an INFJ(sometimes INFP), wife an INFJ.
I see the topic of Myers Briggs personality types and their prevelance in the polyamorous community has been discussed at length in a previous thread. I'm quite sure a variety of different personality types would be interested in polyamory although can imagine ESTJ's having some difficulty
. However, what I am interested in is how personality types of those involved play a role in how a relationship evolves. For example, I would theorize that Introverts would probably tend to prefer a few intimate long term relationships, while extraverts may be more comfortable with many shorter term relationships. I don't think one can generalize, but it would be interesting to know if there is indeed such a general trend.
Similarly, I would speculate that J's would prefer to have quite a number of rules that need to be followed, whilst P's may tend to prefer to let things develop spontaneously and not try to cage them in too much. If this is indeed the case, I can imagine it being difficult for a J/P coupling to negotiate the common rules. J's would probably not like surprises, and P's tend to appreciate a surprise every now and then.
I can also imagine that Thinkers would approach things differently from Feelers, especially where those little mishaps happen. Feelers may take things more personally and need a lot of support in getting over feelings of betrayal, whereas Thinkers may have a more pragmatic approach of "shit happens". This in itself I think could be a problem where a Thinker and a Feeler have to work things out, especially if the Thinker has reached a point of saturation of discussing emotional issues and the Feeler has not been able to process his/her emotions properly yet.
Can anybody relate to this? Have you experienced any other interesting dynamics with your partners that could make sense from a MBTI perspective?
P.S., I am an INFJ(sometimes INFP), wife an INFJ.
INFJ.
- Introverted and I have just a few long-term relationships,
- iNtuitive and don't know what to look for relationship-wise,
- Feeling and while I have had considerable upset in the past, I'm pretty laid back now. Possibly due to the meds I take.
- Judging and I usually don't like surprises. We have a collection of rules big and small. The small rules actually matter more to me than the big rules.
Bluebird
Well-known member
I am still an ENFJ.
I've overheard at least two people describe me as "the nice kind of extrovert who makes you feel calm." Lol
Yeah, I just warn people that I talk too much and feel free to cut me off anytime.
Interesting fact - both my loves are introverts.
I've overheard at least two people describe me as "the nice kind of extrovert who makes you feel calm." Lol
Yeah, I just warn people that I talk too much and feel free to cut me off anytime.
Interesting fact - both my loves are introverts.
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YouAreHere
Well-known member
Was initially an ESTJ, but am now an ESFJ. Still pretty borderline between T/F, at any rate, but after having kids, the balance tipped in the other direction.
This, BTW... This, this, THIS: (from http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFJ.html )
A lot of the ESTJ text rings true as well, except I'm not nearly as black-and-white when it comes to seeing other people's perspectives. I also have no interest in joining the PTA.
Chops is very "seat of the pants" and despite how great a match we are for each other in various other ways, this has always been a source of confusion and/or conflict between us. Boy, am I seriously bucking my own nature (stability, control, and nice road maps) by even being here in the first place!
Whee!
This, BTW... This, this, THIS: (from http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFJ.html )
A lot of the ESTJ text rings true as well, except I'm not nearly as black-and-white when it comes to seeing other people's perspectives. I also have no interest in joining the PTA.
Chops is very "seat of the pants" and despite how great a match we are for each other in various other ways, this has always been a source of confusion and/or conflict between us. Boy, am I seriously bucking my own nature (stability, control, and nice road maps) by even being here in the first place!
Whee!
schizofish
New member
INFJ
Introvert(33%) iNtuitive(38%) Feeling(12%) Judging(56%)
•You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (33%)
•You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
•You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)
•You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)
Which is apparently fairly rare:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/_images/estimated_frequency_table.gif
And makes me The Protector. I am surprised how much of it I can relate to.
And in case anyone is doing the stats on this:
Pisces (like you couldn't guess from the name?)
Ox
Quality time/Physical Touch
Introvert(33%) iNtuitive(38%) Feeling(12%) Judging(56%)
•You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (33%)
•You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
•You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)
•You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)
Which is apparently fairly rare:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/_images/estimated_frequency_table.gif
And makes me The Protector. I am surprised how much of it I can relate to.
And in case anyone is doing the stats on this:
Pisces (like you couldn't guess from the name?)
Ox
Quality time/Physical Touch
opalescent
Active member
I generally test as an INFJ as well. I am quite interested in this unscientific, self selected survey in part because there are a number of INFJs posting. For a rare type, it seems odd.