Need help to be informed on polyamorous triad

S

SocratesOfLove

New member
It's kinda crazy to see me getting myself into this, and always wondering how selfish it feels, because of the historical context between men and women. It really feels taboo, because it isn't the norm, but I also feel like it is something I want in my life after seeing someone in a YT video. It just feels so lively, and so much love seems to be around that home. It's like a small tribe helping each other and I oddly find that cute.

Although, I do want to have my triad to be a little diverse, because I just love exploring other cultures, and specifically the cuisines. 😋 I am Hispanic-American and know English, Spanish, learning Japanese, and Chinese (Mandarin). I am serious about wanting to have other cultures be within my life, but also connect and broaden my perspective of this world.

Is it even possible to live such a life? I think it should be possible, but I lack wisdom and how to even start such a journey. Thinking about it mathematically my odds seem to be against me, but I am still willing to go against those odds and try. So, if anyone can link me some stories, different dynamics structures regarding triads, or challenges for such a decision, I would gladly appreciate it.

Thank You,
SocratesOfLove
 
Hello SocratesOfLove,

Use the Search tab (upper right-hand corner at the top of this page) and do a search for "triad." You will get a ton of results, as this topic is often discussed on this forum. Just browse the titles and look at the threads that call to you. Good luck.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
We've already addressed the issue of triads, so hopefully you're looking into that topic.

As far as you yourself dating people from backgrounds different from yours, just be open to them in your life and on dating sites. I'm white, raised partly Christian, partly atheist (long story), but I've dated people of Jewish heritage, from India, East Asia, Pacific Islander, Mexico, and my current long-term bf is Black (he's half white, but was raised in AA culture.) 😊
 
I'd be careful approaching any relationship with such rigid expectations: those are usually the sources of most frustration when reality arrives differing drastically. If you'll only accept a harmonious, perfectly balanced triad without any wiggle room for other relationship structures, I can't help but imagine you'll spend most of your time wondering why it's so "mathematically unlikely" to find.
SocratesOfLove said:
I oddly find that cute.
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Coming to the place where you're the weird one and patronizing the locals seems like an "odd" choice out of the gate.
SocratesOfLove said:
Is it even possible to live such a life? I think it should be possible, but I lack wisdom and how to even start such a journey. Thinking about it mathematically my odds seem to be against me, but I am still willing to go against those odds and try. So, if anyone can link me some stories, different dynamics structures regarding triads, or challenges for such a decision, I would gladly appreciate it.
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Look, everyone starts their journey in a different place, but right now that lack of wisdom is gonna be your biggest challenge, because at the moment you come across like a straight dude who thinks paradise is "two chicks at the same time."
 
FeralGeek said:
I'd be careful approaching any relationship with such rigid expectations: those are usually the sources of most frustration when reality arrives differing drastically. If you'll only accept a harmonious, perfectly balanced triad without any wiggle room for other relationship structures, I can't help but imagine you'll spend most of your time wondering why it's so "mathematically unlikely" to find.
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Well, I am still new to such terms and I am not even sure if this is what I want. Thus I am here to explore and become knowledgeable about this relationship dynamic. Finding a perfect ideal relationship is probably improbable, but mathematically it is never 0, and I will take those chances. Regardless, I am also open to other ideas, once I understand a bit better the different terminologies of polyamory.
FeralGeek said:
Coming to the place where you're the weird one and patronizing the locals seems like an "odd" choice out of the gate.
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If that was somehow offensive, I apologize, because that wasn't my intention.
FeralGeek said:
Look, everyone starts their journey in a different place, but right now that lack of wisdom is gonna be your biggest challenge, because at the moment you come across like a straight dude who thinks paradise is "two chicks at the same time."
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Lol It is true that I am straight, and yes, I am here to get wisdom and to understand better this world. As for the assumption of me thinking this is paradise... I would say it is true, because it is a desire atm, or maybe a wish, not sure yet how to describe this feeling. After all, the word paradise is defined as a state of delight or happiness, which I believe almost everyone here is trying to achieve. However, I'm pretty sure you meant paradise as a typical stereotypical jab attack at someone who is still new and still trying to understand due to how your quotation marks on this statement "two chicks at the same time." Look, I am not here with a mindset of this is the only way I see myself in, but open to new pathways, so don't go assuming with such little information about me. Regardless, even though your reply wasn't really helpful for the title of this topic, I still thank you for going out of your way to reply.

Sincerely,
SocratesOfLove
 
SocratesOfLove said:
Just wanted to make sure I am understanding this abbreviation well and not using the wrong one. Does this mean "Alcoholics Anonymous Culture"?
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I believe Mags is using it in the sense of African American culture.
 
Hi SocratesOfLove

Perhaps you're more looking for a V relationship (where your partners aren't also partners to each other) or an N or W shape relationship where you have multiple partners but they also have other partners. I'll try and link a post where some of us described our polycule shapes. Basically, a triad is poly on hard mode and it's easier to maintain multiple relationships where you are the hinge and the other people are friendly but not dating one another. Of course this could be a multicultural situation. You could have partners of varying cultures. Just don't expect them to all be into each other, too.
 
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Evie said:
Hi SocratesOfLove

Perhaps you're more looking for a V relationship (where your partners aren't also partners to each other) or an N or W shape relationship where you have multiple partners but they also have other partners. I'll try and link a post where some of us described our polycule shapes. Basically, a triad is poly on hard mode and it's easier to maintain multiple relationships where you are the hinge and the other people are friendly but not dating one another. Of course this could be a multicultural situation. You could have partners of varying cultures. Just don't expect them to all be into each other, too.
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That is the thing, I don't know all these terms yet, but I hope to learn them all by the end of this month. So, I am grateful for any help I can get on definitions for different types of poly-relationship dynamics that is similar or near what I think I want in life. There was a YT video about a man having two GFs and I think he called the relationship a triad, but I cannot remember if the 2 woman liked each other as well or only to the man. I somehow can't find that video again T:
 
SocratesOfLove said:
That is the thing, I don't know all these terms yet, but I hope to learn them all by the end of this month. So, I am grateful for any help I can get on definitions for different types of poly-relationship dynamics that is similar or near what I think I want in life. There was a YT video about a man having two GFs and I think he called the relationship a triad, but I cannot remember if the 2 woman liked each other as well or only to the man. I somehow can't find that video again.
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For a quick way to learn basic polyamory terminology, we have a glossary here:

 
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