Rubberhead
New member
Hi everyone
My name is Peter, and this is my first post, as I’ve just been told by my wife of 5 years that she has developed feelings for her coworker, who happens to be a openly gay lady. After an open and loving discussion, I told my wife I’d be willing to try a poly “throuple” relationship, however, I have found I’m facing feelings of jealousy, and marital insecurity. I love my wife dearly, and her friend is a wonderful, intelligent, and extremely grounded person. I’m worried that the relationship they already have established ( close friendship), puts them miles ahead if we decide to proceed with a poly situation, where I’m playing catch-up, thus leaving me feeling way behind and isolated, and furthermore, the friend is gay, and never been with a man, I’m im terrified that if it was to get to the bedroom, I’d come across as a scary ogre to her.
My boundary, or aspect I feel I need to control, is when they get to have an exclusive sexual experience. The thought of my wife in bed with someone else for the first time outside of our relationship makes me feel cheated, if I’m not around to experience the first intimate moment as a throuple. I’m also encountering fears that my sexual needs will be secondary, as my wife and I have had many external stressors that have just started to leave us, and those stressors had a role in diminishing our level of intimacy. I’m curious as to whether anyone on here can offer advice, as to how these types of relationships work. In a nutshell, if I agree to explore and this moves forward, am I basically losing my wife and family, even if I respect and care for the third person? Any help is appreciated
My name is Peter, and this is my first post, as I’ve just been told by my wife of 5 years that she has developed feelings for her coworker, who happens to be a openly gay lady. After an open and loving discussion, I told my wife I’d be willing to try a poly “throuple” relationship, however, I have found I’m facing feelings of jealousy, and marital insecurity. I love my wife dearly, and her friend is a wonderful, intelligent, and extremely grounded person. I’m worried that the relationship they already have established ( close friendship), puts them miles ahead if we decide to proceed with a poly situation, where I’m playing catch-up, thus leaving me feeling way behind and isolated, and furthermore, the friend is gay, and never been with a man, I’m im terrified that if it was to get to the bedroom, I’d come across as a scary ogre to her.
My boundary, or aspect I feel I need to control, is when they get to have an exclusive sexual experience. The thought of my wife in bed with someone else for the first time outside of our relationship makes me feel cheated, if I’m not around to experience the first intimate moment as a throuple. I’m also encountering fears that my sexual needs will be secondary, as my wife and I have had many external stressors that have just started to leave us, and those stressors had a role in diminishing our level of intimacy. I’m curious as to whether anyone on here can offer advice, as to how these types of relationships work. In a nutshell, if I agree to explore and this moves forward, am I basically losing my wife and family, even if I respect and care for the third person? Any help is appreciated