New one from Singapore

[Dada85]

Hi everyone,
I feel a bit lost so excuse me if my introduction is not the most understandable one.
I am a married man that has been with his wife for 15 years. We have been in a very codependent relation for at least 5 years with me being totally fused to her (and consequently no identity). She has struggled a lot with this situation as I was being possessive, jealous and manipulative. Based on her desire, we have recently open our couple (more in another topic) and I would need some help as I don't know how to navigate in this new world and I feel damn lost.
So I hope to get some support here and to, especially, not get judged because I don't want it.
Thanks

 

[Magdlyn]

It's generally understood that it's not a great idea to attempt "polyamory" when your primary relationship is on the rocks. "Relationship broken, add more people" is not fair to the other people.

We might judge you, assess your situation, but that's different than being judgmental. I encourage you to work hard in therapy. We aren't just gonna blow roses and sunshine up your butt. We aren't therapists. We do offer support, information, personal experiences/anecdotes and well wishes.

You could start a blog in our journal section if you want to vent without feeling "judged." Sometimes it helps just to get your emotions out.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Dada85,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. Basically, I suggest you worry more about your own actions, and don't worry so much about what your wife does. Hopefully your therapist can help with that.

Sorry you're going through some rough times.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!

 

[Dada85]

It's generally understood that it's not a great idea to attempt "polyamory" when your primary relationship is on the rocks. "Relationship broken, add more people" is not fair to the other people.

We might judge you, assess your situation, but that's different than being judgmental. I encourage you to work hard in therapy. We aren't just gonna blow roses and sunshine up your butt. We aren't therapists. We do offer support, information, personal experiences/anecdotes and well wishes.

You could start a blog in our journal section if you want to vent without feeling "judged." Sometimes it helps just to get your emotions out.

Thanks for the message and it totally agree with the content. Instead of judgmental, I should have said maybe to prevent from judging too quickly a complex situation. This is very common on the Web. But I am not hear to just hear what I want, certainly not.