Please introduce this 72 year old man to polyamory...

S

Steeve

New member
Hi. This is my first foray into anything to do with polyamory. I am a 72-year old man, twice divorced, the most recent having been married 12 years, and divorced for 10 years. Neither time was I absolutely in love, and in all honesty, I have felt for a long time that l have been giving the wrong signals. Life is too complex to invest it with just one person. I need a community of love, filled with heart, mind, soul, and spirit.

I have been living in solitude since my last divorce, having gone on one-time dates a couple of times. Maybe I have been giving the wrong signals, or I am not interpreting signals correctly, if at all.

I am concerned that my age is a major factor, or my energy negates positive reception. Without sounding trite, I am a young 72. I look for partners from their 40's to their 60's. It is not the "wrapping," but what's inside the "package." If I may, I consider myself sapiosexual. I am very attracted to bright and lively intelligence. I want to share my love with a multitude of people.

I am an artist, musician, and writer, excited to talk at length about many genres of each. My work as a nutrition consultant, part time now in retail, and part time as a private practice, pays the rent. Part of my practice, when called for, involves hypnosis, of which I am a certified practitioner.

So, how do I meet like-minded souls? I live in New Jersey, about an hour west of Manhattan. Because I have no car, and mass transit is very limited, my access to socalizing is beyond sparse. Any suggestions? I would love to just be communicating with people here, to explore polyamory in what I feel is a world that wants me.

I am glad to have happened upon this site.

Steve (Steeve)
 
Greetings Steeve,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I am happy to introduce you to the world of polyamory. Here are a couple of FAQ pages that will help you get started:
I invite you to read those pages, then, return here and ask any additional questions you may have. I'll do my best to answer. If you can't travel, dating sites are always a possibility. Feeld and OKCupid are two well-known sites.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Steeve said:
I have felt for a long time that l have been giving the wrong signals.
Click to expand...
Hello and welcome, Steeve.

What sort of signals are you giving out?
Steeve said:
Life is too complex to invest it with just one person. I need a community of love, filled with heart, mind, soul, and spirit.
Click to expand...
I’m with you on that. :)
Steeve said:
I have been living in solitude since my last divorce, having gone on one-time dates a couple of times. Maybe I have been giving the wrong signals, or I am not interpreting signals correctly, if at all.
Click to expand...
Perhaps, but it’s hard to know without an example.
Steeve said:
I am concerned that my age is a major factor, or my energy negates positive reception. Without sounding trite, I am a young 72. I look for partners from their 40's to their 60's.
Click to expand...
I haven’t found age to be a problem, unless you’re trying to date in a much younger age bracket. But I’m interested why - given your concern about being age restricted yourself - that you’ve set an upper age limit on the women you want to date?
Steeve said:
It is not the "wrapping" but what's inside the "package".
Click to expand...
Perhaps, given you want a younger woman, the “wrapping” comes into it subliminally more than you think? Could this be part of the ‘mixed signalling’?

It’s always interesting how others perceive us. Go on lots of dates with the view to just enjoying meeting people and finding out about them, rather than with an end goal, as it makes it less fraught and tension rarely encourages a repeat date. If more relaxed, you might get a better feel for what signals there are, and at least end up with more stories. :)

Enjoy being part of the community. I can’t help re location, being an ocean away!
 
Steeve said:
Hi. This is my first foray into anything to do with polyamory. I am a 72-year old man, twice divorced, the most recent having been married 12 years, and divorced for 10 years. Neither time was I absolutely in love, and in all honesty, I have felt for a long time that l have been giving the wrong signals. Life is too complex to invest it with just one person. I need a community of love, filled with heart, mind, soul, and spirit.

I have been living in solitude since my last divorce, having gone on one-time dates a couple of times. Maybe I have been giving the wrong signals, or I am not interpreting signals correctly, if at all.

I am concerned that my age is a major factor, or my energy negates positive reception. Without sounding trite, I am a young 72. I look for partners from their 40's to their 60's. It is not the "wrapping," but what's inside the "package." If I may, I consider myself sapiosexual. I am very attracted to bright and lively intelligence. I want to share my love with a multitude of people.

I am an artist, musician, and writer, excited to talk at length about many genres of each. My work as a nutrition consultant, part time now in retail, and part time as a private practice, pays the rent. Part of my practice, when called for, involves hypnosis, of which I am a certified practitioner.

So, how do I meet like-minded souls? I live in New Jersey, about an hour west of Manhattan. Because I have no car, and mass transit is very limited, my access to socializing is beyond sparse. Any suggestions? I would love to just be communicating with people here, to explore polyamory in what I feel is a world that wants me.

I am glad to have happened upon this site.

Steve (Steeve)
Click to expand...
I wonder how you live your life in the suburbs without a car or decent public transportation. Uber, I guess? Personally I prefer a partner with a license and a car. I don't want to be the designated driver all the time. Is there any chance you could get a car?

You can google "polyamory [your town/closest city]" to seek real-life poly friends, and maybe there will be some meetups/munches happening around you. The first step in poly is to find one dating partner who is cool with a poly partner. Either she is poly, or she's poly-friendly. Lots of older women have been through marriages, divorce, or are widows, and don't want to do the monogamous "take care of a man" thing anymore.

(Just FYI, I am 69; I was married for 30 years. We split when I was 53 and I entered the world of polyamory then, having been poly-inclined all my life, but not having had the ability/understanding to practice it.)

Otherwise, to learn more about polyamory, besides reading our many threads, take a look at our recommended-resource list here:


There are books, articles, websites and a good podcast.
 
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