Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

Poly Vignettes Sharing Success Happiness

Thank you everyone for the responses. You all really help give me some insight.

Let me clarify one thing. Group sex is something I have an interest in. We're both sub. We've both expressed an interest in playing out some fantasies together. But maybe, as some of you have suggested, this isn't necessarily the way to prepare myself for her seeing someone on her own.

I also think a few of you are right, in that maybe I'm trying to make too many decisions for her. She's just such an amazing girl, so unbelievably caring, and loves me so much that I fear she would do anything for me, including sacrificing her own happiness. I care about her and I care about her compromising herself for me. I fear she does it far more than she lets on.

But you're still right. She is an adult and a damn smart one too. Don't fuck with a girl with a 200 IQ. She can make her own decisions. It's not that I don't trust her, it's exactly the opposite, rather that we all do stupid things when we're in love sometimes, often to our detriment, and I couldn't help but worry that, as her S/O, maybe it's my responsibility to help her from making a mistake. But it's easy for me to worry too much and it's easy for me to want to control too much, so you've probably got a point.

Thank you all,
Sooo this thread has been asleep for a while, but I am really feeling the need to swoon about my little poly adventure and how perfect it feels, so I feel like this is the place for me. Bear with me. If you want to read, thanks in advance!

I'm (f, bi) in a long-term primary relationship with Captain (m), we used to be non-monogamous, but scared of poly (ie lasting relationships, emotions etc). Then I met Flash (m & single) and developed a friendly & sexual affair of sorts with him, which was sometimes tricky for everyone involved and took a lot of growth to sort out.

I always felt a bit guilty being with Flash, because I could never get over the feeling of causing jealousy/pain for Captain, who I love very, very much; and I was always very wary of growing too attached - after all, 30 years of monogamous culture swirling in the back of my head saying this was all wrong/selfish/endangering my relationship. On the other hand, while I like Flash and we get along very well and enjoy each other's company, it never felt like this was a thing that could stand up on its own for a very long time. I'm not in love with him.

Soooo Flash also had an involvement with a girl we'll call Sun (f), who I also knew superficially and who I had previously found myself very attracted to. Their thing predated ours, but was on hiatus when we started, and when it started back up I felt very jealous of her (knowing how irrational it was). Sun and me saw each other regularly in a certain context, knowing about each other being with Flash, but it took us months and several drinks at a friend's party to finally talk about it - which actually went great. She also has a primary boyfriend in an open relationship, which I only learned later.

And then, one fateful, drunken, late party night somewhere, I walked in on Flash & Sun kissing. And we all looked at each other. And then I just joined in. And it was as if some magical triangle had closed.

(The only kicker is that Flash moved away from our city for work very shortly after that. But he's back occasionally.)

We have since met a handful of times, just enjoying each other's company and being intimate - really in all senses of the word, not just physical, just very close in what we talk about, how we talk about it. The sex is one thing, but for me, the kicker is how incredibly light it all feels. The three of us know exactly where we all stand - her and me in primary relationships, which are established and unquestionable, him single and dating - and there's a perfect balance, we all care affectionately for each other, without there being anything dark or too deep or complicated about it. All we do is deeply enjoy the moments when we're together, and there's something so selfless about it. There seem to be no power imbalances, no tensions that have made two-people-constellations difficult for me in the past.

I like him, I still have a crush on her (and may see her one on one), but most of all, I have extreme NRE about this little triangle of ours and its lightness and its goodness. I'm so happy when I'm with them. It just seems like the purest, most blissful little experience - and so unlikely. I don't know anyone in real life who has experienced anything like this. Of my closest friends, no one understands when I try to talk about it, haha.

So here I am. Gushing. Happy. Grateful. Anyone else experience a magical triad?
Distance prevents us from all being together right now, but it sure feels like you describe a lot of the time when we are. Golly you made me miss the high energy "physics"!

One of the things we did before going down the poly road was read surveys of relationship happiness, where they compared heterosexual to poly. It was very stark that so long as poly was practiced ethically the people were generally happier.

It is axiomatic that when people are unethical it doesn't matter what kind of relationship you are in. Bad faith gets bad results.

We are not that surprised about how much fun we're having. When we can have both. Because science supports it! And we did what they said about clear communication, respecting boundaries, even written contracts.

So there is justice in that. Lol, imagine there being justice in poly love.

Have fun. Break world records. Gold medals for everyone.
sharing joy

We are Deeply in Love, Happily Married
Friends are a Regular Part of Our Play
Our Loving is Rich, Juicy, Interesting, Varied
All in an Open and Ethical Way

We have a long-term, stable, committed, loving relationship.
Both have high standards for honesty and transparency.
We communicate beautifully, with kindness and respect.
Really strong, honest, solid friendship.

We have never been exclusive, and we are strict ethical sluts, or strive to be.
Never gave up our FWBs, we shared them instead.
Introduced them! Sharing is fun.
We have no kids, but our FWBs and lovers are our family.

Weirdly, we are the happiest couple we know, by far.
So much love, support, honesty, and it is so simple.
People say "it's complicated", but it's not, unless they make it complicated.

Don't fight human nature and don't fight change.
Instead, you learn it, use it, surf it.
Poly Vignettes

First and foremost, you have to be in love with somebody, (more than one,) only then u will know for sure that u r polyamorous by nature and that too after the NRE efect has wornout
Yes it is very much true in words by experience.
So beautiful
It just got better too:D!! We had a major break through towards the future yesterday.

I recently became so threatened by the future that I completely devoted myself to living in the moment. There is nothing wrong with living in the moment, but I was so deep into it that I was stopping us from moving forward. It was great not thinking about anything but what I was doing at that time but I was missing something and Redpepper felt it too. I felt like there was no future which leaves blackness when we are not together.

We got to root of my issue revolving around insecurities which were blocking my ability to move forward. I simply had to ask for what I needed to feel secure in committing to her and her family on a deeper level. I am excited and more in love with her than ever:)
So beautiful mono! Thank you for the encouragement to be courageous in self discovery and healing. I'm so glad you felt more free after exposing those blocks!
Maybe 15 years ago, when I'd been married about 5 years and cohabitated about 5 years I was working for a failing web software consultancy and walked by an office where there was a pretty girl with dreadlocks who looked at me and smiled every time I walked by.

I had never heard of polyamory but wanted to go on a date with her and talked with my wife about it and she said go ahead. I was talking to a therapist at the time because things were going pretty bad at work and my therapist just couldn't believe my wife was OK with me asking a girl on a date.

I walked into her office and she looked so happy to see me walk in and I asked her out and said yes. We had one date and it didn't progress past that, probably because some of the pain from my past leaked out. It was fun though.

A few days later I said "take this job and shove it" and she saw me hauling my stuff out of the office to my car. The next day I was working at another firm that was doing better (got some of the contracts that we didn't get) and was doing basically the same work. Not long after I was walking out of the wine shop with my toddler and ran into her walking in.

I am so happy my wife gave me this freedom and it is one of those experiences that makes me believe that polyamory is something that my marriage will not only survive but get stronger from.
Thanks for sharing that, that is an encouraging story.
We homeschooled our son late in elementary school and struggled to find him all the experiences he needed to live with people and all the frustrations that come with that. He's an only and was missing the experience of having siblings: having somebody who is your equal, who can treat you unfairly, who doesn't need to be a role model.

We heard that our friend M, a woman who was about 30 years old, had no place to go. M had a history of trouble with opioids and was seriously mentally ill, I think she suffered from schizoaffective disorder.

I knew it would be a burden, but I felt attracted to M not in a sexual way but as someone I could care for deeply, want to help, and have a relationship like extended family. M reminded me of my very close aunt who had suffered from bipolar disorder and maybe I felt like I could "pay it forward."

We also thought that M could be like a sister to my son.

M lived with us for a year and a half that was a challenging experience but also rewarding and one that changed my son's life for the better. We were pretty sure that being embedded in our family could stabilize her behavior. M behaved like somebody much younger than herself because of the condition and my son really did have the experience of a difficult but loving sister.

M had a crisis one night, threatened my wife while my son and I barricaded in a room upstairs, then disappeared into the night.

A few years later she came out to our farm to visit and unfortunately she passed away not long after.
That's kind of a sad but touching story.
My partners make me laugh my ass off over the stupidest things. There is nothing more fun than loving someone in tandem. Conspiring to bring them little surprises, teasing them together, cuddling in a pile. You get to share things you couldn’t with anyone else. I never realized you could kiss two people simultaneously—the tri-kiss is K’s favorite. And, yes, we have some phenomenal threesomes :giggle:
My wife and our girlfriend have synced up their menstrual cycles. I buy ice cream and cookies in bulk!
Yes! Successful poly stories are so crucial! To have something to look forward to, or reach for. Lessons learned are great, but positive stories give us the hope -and models of success-we need.