crzyboutfun
New member
Hey friends. I'm Brian. I've been in the ENM/Poly world for about 5 years now. My primary partner (who's AMAZING) and I have been together for the last 8 years. After years of research, I came to the conclusion I was poly. We've been working through it as she monogamous, but extremely supportive of me and my journey. Ive dated a couple people and it hasn't seemed to worked out. Why, you ask? Simply because they haven't been all the way honest with their partners.
Recently was with a couple (somewhat of a throuple except him and I are both heterosexual) for about a year and a half. We met on a swingers site and it started that way. Fun. Swinging. Play times. Etc. I made it very clear I was/am poly and not a swinger. The three of us got really close and they ingratiated me into their everyday lives. The husband began to allow me to see his wife regularly; both sexually and other. We went on dates. I became her personal trainer. We met for coffee. Name it, we did it. It became a relationship and we fell madly in love. Madly in love. Unfortunately, there was some secretive "love chats" on WhatsApp (as that was the place we confessed our true love for each other). In March, he found a video of her confessing her love to me and told her she had to end it. I was (and to some capacity remain) devastated. We have "BIG LOVE" for one another.
I was very honest with him and told him I loved his wife months before. I was honest with her and honest with my partner. Yes, we shouldn't have been on WhatsApp and I tried to get off. She insisted we kept it as it was a way for her to "stay connected to me" so I obliged. The last three months, we've seen each other a hand full of times.. in secret. No, we haven't been physical, but loving and "checking in" on one another. She states she loves me and misses me a great deal and is doing "everything she can to get back to me." They remain in the Swinging Lifestyle and I'm struggling with the fact she (and him) moved on so fast.
She keeps up on me via social media, has her best friend reach out to me (to check in) from time to time and insists she's madly in love with me. I never wanted her to leave her husband, but I hope(d) we could love her together. When she told him we'd seen each other since our break up, he stated he'd file a "cease and desist" if it happened again. Yes, he's kinda controlling. Long story short, I'm doing my best to work through it, but I'm struggling.
Struggling with the fact their back in the lifestyle and moved on so quickly. Struggling to understand if she really cares about me at all. Struggling to understand how my friend (the husband) could cut me off so easily. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this?
Thanks, friends.
Recently was with a couple (somewhat of a throuple except him and I are both heterosexual) for about a year and a half. We met on a swingers site and it started that way. Fun. Swinging. Play times. Etc. I made it very clear I was/am poly and not a swinger. The three of us got really close and they ingratiated me into their everyday lives. The husband began to allow me to see his wife regularly; both sexually and other. We went on dates. I became her personal trainer. We met for coffee. Name it, we did it. It became a relationship and we fell madly in love. Madly in love. Unfortunately, there was some secretive "love chats" on WhatsApp (as that was the place we confessed our true love for each other). In March, he found a video of her confessing her love to me and told her she had to end it. I was (and to some capacity remain) devastated. We have "BIG LOVE" for one another.
I was very honest with him and told him I loved his wife months before. I was honest with her and honest with my partner. Yes, we shouldn't have been on WhatsApp and I tried to get off. She insisted we kept it as it was a way for her to "stay connected to me" so I obliged. The last three months, we've seen each other a hand full of times.. in secret. No, we haven't been physical, but loving and "checking in" on one another. She states she loves me and misses me a great deal and is doing "everything she can to get back to me." They remain in the Swinging Lifestyle and I'm struggling with the fact she (and him) moved on so fast.
She keeps up on me via social media, has her best friend reach out to me (to check in) from time to time and insists she's madly in love with me. I never wanted her to leave her husband, but I hope(d) we could love her together. When she told him we'd seen each other since our break up, he stated he'd file a "cease and desist" if it happened again. Yes, he's kinda controlling. Long story short, I'm doing my best to work through it, but I'm struggling.
Struggling with the fact their back in the lifestyle and moved on so quickly. Struggling to understand if she really cares about me at all. Struggling to understand how my friend (the husband) could cut me off so easily. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this?
Thanks, friends.