Hi all,
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this; I've been writing a lot on my introductions thread, but needed to just express myself here.
My wife came out as poly and now we're trying to figure out how to make it work. She thinks it will be simple, I think it will be fucking hard. I had a really rough talk with her last night. We meant to not talk about the poly thing, I was actually feeling pretty hopeful, but somehow we got into a bad conversation spiral and she ended up crying, saying that she was giving up on opening the relationship, felt like a terrible person, and wished she'd never brought this up. We both feel terrible, never "made up", I can't sleep...
...and in a few hours it will be morning on my birthday.
My kids have been excited about this for weeks. They will come into my bedroom with a tray full of cards and presents. This has always been a fun tradition in my family (for everyone's birthday of course, not just mine!), something that told me that we had something good and special and fun, but this year it will be different. I don't know what it will look like but we adults are going to have to fake it for the sake of the kids. It breaks my heart to be in this situation which I never anticipated.
I was feeling great earlier yesterday, and looking forward to spending time with my family, being celebrated. My wife went out and bought food for the next day. Now there is a pall over everything, at least that's how it feels at 5 in the morning. I will follow up to let you know how it goes, but just needed to express where I'm at right now.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this; I've been writing a lot on my introductions thread, but needed to just express myself here.
My wife came out as poly and now we're trying to figure out how to make it work. She thinks it will be simple, I think it will be fucking hard. I had a really rough talk with her last night. We meant to not talk about the poly thing, I was actually feeling pretty hopeful, but somehow we got into a bad conversation spiral and she ended up crying, saying that she was giving up on opening the relationship, felt like a terrible person, and wished she'd never brought this up. We both feel terrible, never "made up", I can't sleep...
...and in a few hours it will be morning on my birthday.
My kids have been excited about this for weeks. They will come into my bedroom with a tray full of cards and presents. This has always been a fun tradition in my family (for everyone's birthday of course, not just mine!), something that told me that we had something good and special and fun, but this year it will be different. I don't know what it will look like but we adults are going to have to fake it for the sake of the kids. It breaks my heart to be in this situation which I never anticipated.
I was feeling great earlier yesterday, and looking forward to spending time with my family, being celebrated. My wife went out and bought food for the next day. Now there is a pall over everything, at least that's how it feels at 5 in the morning. I will follow up to let you know how it goes, but just needed to express where I'm at right now.