Some Things Some People Need To Hear

Really. We could do that too. "some" people wouldn't like it and they would leave. How DO we please all of the people all of the time? No matter what we do, someone will have a problem with it. And people will moan about how "it's the MODERATORS, they're a little CLIQUE on a POWER TRIP.

Too bad, so sad. I'm a moderator, so HA-ha. This is MY playing field. I decide the double standards.

That's what people are thinking, so why not just come out and say it? I LOVE oppressing all of you. Then I go home and oppress my cats.

This is a culture issue, not a moderator issue.

One thing I would like to see is moderations happening on a more transparent level rather than things being deleted and edited behind the scenes. I'd rather see posts moderated on thread with moderators posting the issues on the thread, but honestly, that's neither here nor there.

I've never said, "I'm disappointed in the moderators of this forum". I've said I'm disappointed in the culture of this forum. Big difference.
 
Pardon my smugness...

Well, as a relatively new member here I don't have a whole lot invested in this forum, and after reading this thread, (and Joreth's link) I know not to take anything or anyone here too seriously. It's amazing how much your opinion of people can change between reading their carefully thought out posts and the more emotionally-driven ones that I've seen here. For some of you, I've gained respect, and for others, I've lost it. But that's life. Thanks for being real, all of you. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on. :D
 
fuuuuuuck, have I missed a lot in having a life off line. geeeeezuz!

Just for the record, when Mono posted last on here it was after a phone call to me. I told him that in my opinion there was really no point in continuing to chat about what people think he said. We have things to take care of in our real lives... could you concentrate on that please.... he agreed with me and we went on to deal with other issues in real life.

It's all so verbal on here. Really, where there is no body language and context to a persons real life, no one fully knows for certain the nature in which someone says something.

Mono was simply saying he was off now as he found that he couldn't get into anything right now and was unable to go on for post after post at the moment. It was more of a, "okay then, well, that's it for me.... talk to you later..." thing, rather than... a "I have a hidden agenda to be passive aggressive towards anyone who disagrees with me."

I really think it comes down to the fact that I need people to have an open mind about others on here and realizing they are on a path to self discovery. Also that we don't all have time or energy to wade through other peoples emotional stuff. We all have lives and are all finding where we fit in the world...

By the way, as a new moderator, I can tell you that it seems most of our conversations thus far revolve around whether or not our policies have been broken or not and what we can do to accommodate everyone. No secret there, it's our job.... but then why should you trust me?
 
Really, the only thing Joreth got points for- (not banned, first time she ever got points) is for saying "fuck you". That happened to fall under a category. It was not written for this instance. We have no "you said fuck you" category. It falls under unnecessary hostile behavior. That being said, a group of people from all over the world who have volunteered to spend time on this forum making it a safe place for everyone talked at length about the situation and made a judgement call in light of the forum rules. Also synchronized our schedules for an international conference call to further discuss this and other issues.

We moderate for identifiable content that violates forum rules. Passive-aggressiveness and oppression can not be clearly identified as we all know that text leaves much to the imagination, and you can read it over and over and form almost any opinion of intent.

I'm offended now, personally, because I have been personally attacked- for real now-there are only just us specific people that everyone is aware of-as one of the moderators. But I am not going to cut out posts because of it. I'm offended because I feel like this is what some are implying about all of the time we take and work we do to make this forum a special place, which I believe it is, unlike LJ, FB, bleh.

I feel like writing expletives in a hostile tone all the time, especially when someone takes issue with a very straightforward, identifiable violation of forum rules and turns it into dominant culture oppressing the powerless. Guess what, though- I don't because it's disrespectful and hinders clear communication.

Moderators have made mistakes. I have made mistakes. That is why there are several people moderating- we call each other out on faulty interpretation of the rules all the time. We are a diverse group of people that have come and gone in the short time the forum has been up. Our membership is awesome. We are #4 in google for keyword "polyamory". Thousands of people are reading your posts, people. There are probably just as many perceptions of whatever you say.

I will continue to do my best knowing that our forum changes people's lives all the time, starts a thought process that frees them somehow. No apologies for that.
-R

P.S. You're all awesome-debate on. Just give the guidelines another read, will you please?
 
Last edited:
As part of the "dominant, oppressive culture" on this forum, I would like to point out that the moderators hardly ever "unapprove" posts or issue "infractions" beyond straightforward banning of spam(mers). Since I have been a moderator, there have been maybe 3 or 4 times that a "real" post has gotten "moderated" (that I can remember) and I know at least 2 of them have been resolved with an "oops, sorry, I'll remember to be more careful from now on".

The suggestion that the moderators here (myself, rarechild, redpepper, and Imaginary Illusion) are a bunch of dictators who go around bullying the weak and "squelching" those who dare to disagree with us or our "clique" on the issues that are being discussed/argued is patently untrue.

That is all I have to say about it. If anyone out there disagrees with me about this, I'll refer you to the signature file I use on another forum:

"Just because you disagree with me doesn't make me any less right."

ETA: I am very impressed by the fact that the moderators don't have to step in more often. I tend to have faith (in spite of myself) that people can work things out for themselves, and that is usually what happens, regardless of any real-or-perceived "passive-aggressiveness".
 
Last edited:
2) Debating how their post came across can hijack a thread and make people feel unwelcome.
...................
There are people on here that are trying to utilize this forum to help progress them through personal and heartbreaking decisions. The energy is better used there, IMHO.

Why don't we, as a community, try to give people the benefit of the doubt, including our moderators, unless something is CLEARLY worth the effort of a million posts?

I wasn't going to get involved in this whole thing but what RS has pointed to here kind of leans in the direction of my thinking.

What IS the purpose of this forum ?

Now personally, I kind of assumed it was to help each other out, share success and failure stories that can be enlightening, and to have that all serve as a resource for new folks who are just discovering polyamory and trying to get some feel for what it might be like in practice rather than theory.

For that reason I feel it's important to stay away from personal conflict, ideologies, agendas etc, ESPECIALLY in a thread that is started with a particular topic.

It really has little value in most cases, is distracting, discouraging (especially to new members or visitors).

If anyone feels there is real value in some of this, what can be just nasty & petty, back and forth debate, I say "take it outside" ! Start a new thread in the Misc area or something then bring back the results of the debate (if applicable) to the original topic after you iron our your personal issues. Or just take it private ?

Somehow I just can't get my head around how allowing a Jerry Springer flavor to the whole board benefits it (the board) or anyone stopping by.
But maybe that's the "culture". All about entertainment value.

But if that's the course it takes I will expect the board to lose relevancy and soon disappear. And that to me is sad. Because there's a lot of great, knowledgeable people here that have a lot to offer.

Oh well............

GS
 
I kind of assumed it was to help each other out, share success and failure stories that can be enlightening, and to have that all serve as a resource for new folks who are just discovering polyamory and trying to get some feel for what it might be like in practice rather than theory.
Yes, GS, that's the reason I joined this forum (and why I joined and/or started every poly forum/board/group I have been on). I think that most of them definitely serve (or served) that purpose, too.

It's been interesting to watch the dynamics on this and other fora - the different personalities and the consistent way that discussions involving those personalities develop.
 
Just for the record, when Mono posted last on here it was after a phone call to me. I told him that in my opinion there was really no point in continuing to chat about what people think he said. We have things to take care of in our real lives... could you concentrate on that please.... he agreed with me and we went on to deal with other issues in real life.

It's all so verbal on here. Really, where there is no body language and context to a persons real life, no one fully knows for certain the nature in which someone says something.

Mono was simply saying he was off now as he found that he couldn't get into anything right now and was unable to go on for post after post at the moment. It was more of a, "okay then, well, that's it for me.... talk to you later..." thing, rather than... a "I have a hidden agenda to be passive aggressive towards anyone who disagrees with me."

We all have other issues in real life. However, when I post something on this forum that has bothered or offended someone and they make that known to me, I at least extend that person the courtesy of engaging that issue with the person. It may be just to defend that point, but I will never dismiss their issue and/or accuse them of "creating negativity" for having problems with what I've said. Mono has often dismissed such issues in that very way, which is why it was easy to assume that he was doing the very same thing in the post in question. I often see that courtesy demanded but not extended. Everyone's free to respond or not respond however they like. And I'm free to have my opinion of that.


I really think it comes down to the fact that I need people to have an open mind about others on here and realizing they are on a path to self discovery. Also that we don't all have time or energy to wade through other peoples emotional stuff. We all have lives and are all finding where we fit in the world...

Yep. Yet when a persons hard earned point of view and experience challenges or clashes with the popular opinion, my experience has been that that person gets accused of creating too much friction and discussions quickly degenerate. And that person is often viewed as the reason for the degeneration. (at least that's been my own personal experience)



Really, the only thing Joreth got points for- (not banned, first time she ever got points) is for saying "fuck you". That happened to fall under a category. It was not written for this instance. We have no "you said fuck you" category. It falls under unnecessary hostile behavior.

Joreth never made any claim of being banned. She did speak of her post being blocked. In the letter addressed to her from ImaginaryIllusion, the following was stated:

You have been warned in the past for similar behavior.
As such, I am issuing a 6-pt Infraction for Flaming & Creating a Hostile Atmosphere.

This is half the allowable amount for infraction points, and will result in the staff asking you to leave the board if this occurs again.

This infraction is also a warning that is not limited to direct cases of flaming, but also other behaviors such as running roughshod over other discussions or argumentum ad nauseam.

That last bit I bolded is quite a bit more vague than the reason her post was actually moderated and suggests an issue of style more than anything else. Especially since she was responding to the same things being brought up over and over in that particular thread. And it's fair enough that her post was moderated for hostile language, however, it might have been a bit more of a balanced approach if the repeated insult that she was responding to was at least acknowledged. I don't know and I don't presume to tell anyone how to moderate. I'm just giving my perspective in that case.

That being said, a group of people from all over the world who have volunteered to spend time on this forum making it a safe place for everyone talked at length about the situation and made a judgement call in light of the forum rules. Also synchronized our schedules for an international conference call to further discuss this and other issues.

That's fantastic that you choose to do that...but it is indeed your choice. I've moderated on other forums and it's a thankless job most of the time. But the fact that I did it didn't lend me any more moral weight because it was my choice to do so.

We moderate for identifiable content that violates forum rules. Passive-aggressiveness and oppression can not be clearly identified as we all know that text leaves much to the imagination, and you can read it over and over and form almost any opinion of intent.

Which is why I've repeatedly stated that this is a culture issue, not a moderator issue.

I'm offended now, personally, because I have been personally attacked- for real now-there are only just us specific people that everyone is aware of-as one of the moderators. But I am not going to cut out posts because of it. I'm offended because I feel like this is what some are implying about all of the time we take and work we do to make this forum a special place, which I believe it is, unlike LJ, FB, bleh.

In making this forum a "special place" it has become an unwelcome place for many people. I'm sorry you feel personally offended by the issues brought up, though I'm not sure what you think people are implying about moderators here.



The suggestion that the moderators here (myself, rarechild, redpepper, and Imaginary Illusion) are a bunch of dictators who go around bullying the weak and "squelching" those who dare to disagree with us or our "clique" on the issues that are being discussed/argued is patently untrue.

Suggesting that there is an unclear standard and that the community tends to apply double standards based on what's popular and what isn't even close to the same as suggesting that moderators are a bunch of dictators on some power trip. If that's what you're reading from what's been discussed on this thread then it's clear that the point is going to be lost.

Now personally, I kind of assumed it was to help each other out, share success and failure stories that can be enlightening, and to have that all serve as a resource for new folks who are just discovering polyamory and trying to get some feel for what it might be like in practice rather than theory.

For that reason I feel it's important to stay away from personal conflict, ideologies, agendas etc, ESPECIALLY in a thread that is started with a particular topic.

It really has little value in most cases, is distracting, discouraging (especially to new members or visitors).

If a person is going to insert personal conflict into what someone writes, they're just going to. There is a difference between holding someone accountable and personal conflict. When things are written here that contain inaccurate assumptions about an identity I share or claim, I will most definitely call that out. I usually make it a point to point out (and as Joreth also pointed out) that the offense may not have been intended, but it is there nonetheless. The atmosphere of this forum makes that a difficult thing to do indeed.


Somehow I just can't get my head around how allowing a Jerry Springer flavor to the whole board benefits it (the board) or anyone stopping by.
But maybe that's the "culture". All about entertainment value.

What is your entertainment is someone else's hard-earned experience. The Jerry Springer atmosphere tends to come from lack of respect for that and a tendency to take things people write here WAAAY too personally (which tends to be where discussions degenerate into a "he said she said" game)



But if that's the course it takes I will expect the board to lose relevancy and soon disappear. And that to me is sad.

This board has already lost relevancy to a lot of people because of this constant pattern.

I'm really to the point of pondering the relevancy it has for me.
 
Ceoli, I have already asked you in chat - what do you suggest be done about this nebulous "culture issue" you keep referring to. You said something to the effect (heaven forbid I mis-quote you, but I no longer have that transcript) of "I'm not sure there's anything that CAN be done. I may end up having to leave the forum". I see a lot of kvetching about this "culture" issue from you and Raven, and zero suggestions about what the moderators can DO about it. It comes down to a case of "damned if we do, damned if we don't".

If people (such as the "leading members of the poly activist community") think this place sucks, they have the right to move on. I don't know of any forum that makes a point to have every person who ever looked at it stay and post forever. I have been to forums that were not a good fit for me and moved on to find another forum that suits my needs better, instead of staying at the forum I don't like and complaining that their "culture" is not "welcoming". That is one reason it is good to lurk on a new site at first.

I am growing rather weary of being told that this is a "culture issue not a moderator issue" on one hand, and on the other hand being told (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showpost.php?p=23487&postcount=19) that it's the moderators who set the tone of the culture and that we play favorites by tacitly agreeing with the passive-aggressive people (no, Raven doesn't say it in those words, but I am fluent enough in English to re-phrase something someone else wrote in my own words).

As for Joreth "not being acknowledged" about the child-free thing: first of all, it was not being ignored. I don't recall any requirement that people have to specifically address having read someone else's post(s) before making their own post. I often respond to a post early in a thread before reading the rest of the posts in that thread and I do not expect someone who said the same thing later or made a counterpoint to the thing I replied to rendering my post superfluous to jump down my throat and accuse me of not paying attention to them because I answered in the conversation without reading THEIR post. That is exactly what happened with Derbylicious' post and she was under no obligation to preface her post with "I read everything Joreth and Ceoli said and this is still how I feel". It's a very narcissistic attitude to take, getting bent out of shape because a few people didn't go out of their way to read and address everything everyone else said before briefly chiming in with their own point of view (however "oppressive" that POV might seem). Furthermore, I corrected Derby's reasoning without getting verbally assaultive and she conceded to my point before Joreth even posted her tantrum, which tells me at the very least that Joreth isn't really interested in what others have to say or what was written about a topic while she was not in the room, but only in yelling at people who she perceives to be against her for reasons real or otherwise.
 
Last edited:
The number one reason why I feel like much of this board has lost importance or meaning for me, is that it seems like there is so much attention and time put into proving a point right or wrong, that there isn't anyone to "talk" to about POLYAMORY and the issues that arise in regards to it.
 
Ceoli, I have already asked you in chat - what do you suggest be done about this nebulous "culture issue" you keep referring to. You said something to the effect (heaven forbid I mis-quote you, but I no longer have that transcript) of "I'm not sure there's anything that CAN be done. I may end up having to leave the forum". I see a lot of kvetching about this "culture" issue from you and Raven, and zero suggestions about what the moderators can DO about it. It comes down to a case of "damned if we do, damned if we don't".

I have made a suggestion both in chat and on this thread. I'll highlight that right now. With the clear idea that this is a SUGGESTION and not a criticism of the moderators.

I think it would be helpful if moderation was a bit more transparent. Usually when a standard is breached, the post in question is pulled from the thread and moderated behind the scenes with the final product being put back into the thread or removed from it. My experience has been that when posts are moderated more out in the open, it then makes the community standards clearer to all involved.

Plus this ubiquitous demerit system at this point seems to be a bit arbitrary. Perhaps it isn't but if there is a set system for how points are given out and what infractions are worth how many points, it's not terribly obvious. A bit of transparency on all of the standards that have been agreed to by the moderators would probably be helpful.

I am growing rather weary of being told that this is a "culture issue not a moderator issue" on one hand, and on the other hand being told (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showpost.php?p=23487&postcount=19) that it's the moderators who set the tone of the culture and that we play favorites by tacitly agreeing with the passive-aggressive people (no, Raven doesn't say it in those words, but I am fluent enough in English to re-phrase something someone else wrote in my own words).

I'm only speaking to what I'm saying. I don't speak for Raven despite the fact that we often agree on things.

As for Joreth "not being acknowledged" about the child-free thing: first of all, it was not being ignored. I don't recall any requirement that people have to specifically address having read someone else's post(s) before making their own post. I often respond to a post early in a thread before reading the rest of the posts in that thread and I do not expect someone who said the same thing later or made a counterpoint to the thing I replied to rendering my post superfluous to jump down my throat and accuse me of not paying attention to them because I answered in the conversation without reading THEIR post. That is exactly what happened with Derbylicious' post and she was under no obligation to preface her post with "I read everything Joreth and Ceoli said and this is still how I feel". It's a very narcissistic attitude to take, getting bent out of shape because a few people didn't go out of their way to read and address everything everyone else said before briefly chiming in with their own point of view (however "oppressive" that POV might seem). Furthermore, I corrected Derby's reasoning without getting verbally assaultive and she conceded to my point before Joreth even posted her tantrum, which tells me at the very least that Joreth isn't really interested in what others have to say or what was written about a topic while she was not in the room, but only in yelling at people who she perceives to be against her for reasons real or otherwise.


Nope, nobody is under any obligation at all nor did I claim they were. But that doesn't mean a person can't express frustration for having to address the same point over and over again in the thread. If they haven't read the thread, they enter such discussions at their own risk. As I've said before, my main issue isn't specifically with Joreth's post and how it was moderated though I did share my thoughts on it. Truth be told, I probably would have moderated the post as well, though not blocked it or issued demerits (the whole points based system makes me feel like I'm in junior high). And technically speaking, Joreth was probably writing her response when you posted yours and Derby's reply, so it probably wasn't on the thread at the time she was replying...a quirk of this board system.

And I'm just as tired of it as you are. Yet again, the same shit over and over again. And perhaps I'm overly paranoid, I don't know. But it often feels like most of the blame gets thrown at posters like myself, Raven and Joreth.
 
We all have other issues in real life. However, when I post something on this forum that has bothered or offended someone and they make that known to me, I at least extend that person the courtesy of engaging that issue with the person. It may be just to defend that point, but I will never dismiss their issue and/or accuse them of "creating negativity" for having problems with what I've said. Mono has often dismissed such issues in that very way, which is why it was easy to assume that he was doing the very same thing in the post in question. I often see that courtesy demanded but not extended. Everyone's free to respond or not respond however they like. And I'm free to have my opinion of that.

yes you are free to have that opinion. :) My opinion of Mono is that he is requesting information in order to understand someone else... I read it differently than "demand." I also have the opinion that he writes posts that make it obvious that he doesn't want to be challenge or have a debate and that he is not interested in continuing conversations sometimes.
Possibly because he is not interested in investing that much into the conversation? *shrug* I know the man though... in real life this may make more sense. He does tend to need time to think things through first before talking. I'm sorry if this is seen as being demanding or passive aggressive or whatever. I don't know, I'm not him, perhaps it is. I do know him very well however....

I again think this comes down to communication styles myself. I have noticed a huge change in how I "talk" to people on here now that I see it that way. I like to be more curious first before deciding what my opinion is... I like to try and think things through with my heart and empathize before thinking with my head.

I feel like I've said that a million times.... I don't think anyone is listening really. Or maybe they think what I say is bullshit... now I'm talking to myself. :D:rolleyes:

It's really too bad that people are not jiving with this forum. I hope they find what they are looking for. I don't think everyone can fit everywhere anyways. I don't fit with other poly forums/groups/live journals and whatever out there in cyber land, and I am okay with that. The poly community is growing and changing and expanding to bring in all kinds of differing views. I am trying to be open to all of it and find what works for me... not try and cram myself into an existing space has not worked for me in the past. I think I have talked enough on that on here already for those who heard my ranting a few months back when I didn't even want to identify as poly because it involved too much of a swinger life style for my liking... I adjusted and accepted and understand more and have grown. All this from listening, telling my story and from others asking out of curiosity and empathy what is going on for me. I felt like I was respected for being on a path of self discovery. This is what I needed and what works for me. Perhaps if this forum isn't working for people they should take a break and reassess what it is that they are looking for? Maybe that would help.
 
All this from listening, telling my story and from others asking out of curiosity and empathy what is going on for me. I felt like I was respected for being on a path of self discovery. This is what I needed and what works for me. Perhaps if this forum isn't working for people they should take a break and reassess what it is that they are looking for? Maybe that would help.

What helps me is clearly expressing my point of view on things from my experiences and relating them to the issues at hand since I cannot assume what other people's experiences are. In my own path of discovery, it became pretty clear that if I spoke about it on this forum it then leads to people making all sorts of assumptions about me that I then have to spend more time dispelling every single time I form an opinion about something. I'm sorry, but regardless of intentions of empathy, the result is fairly selective. What it tends to feel like is that this forum does not jive with clear honest expression. Not the other way around. Though the vice versa is probably being created out of fatigue.

I find it interesting that there is this huge resistance to even bothering to examine how that can be unwelcoming to people. Ah well. I shouldn't be surprised.
 
What helps me is clearly expressing my point of view on things from my experiences and relating them to the issues at hand since I cannot assume what other people's experiences are. In my own path of discovery, it became pretty clear that if I spoke about it on this forum it then leads to people making all sorts of assumptions about me that I then have to spend more time dispelling every single time I form an opinion about something. I'm sorry, but regardless of intentions of empathy, the result is fairly selective. What it tends to feel like is that this forum does not jive with clear honest expression. Not the other way around. Though the vice versa is probably being created out of fatigue.

I find it interesting that there is this huge resistance to even bothering to examine how that can be unwelcoming to people. Ah well. I shouldn't be surprised.

I hear you Ceoli. I have felt like that too. I have come to expect that not everyone is going to get me just as I don't get everyone. I have decided to back away before I invest too much in understanding or being understood. This is what I think creates the negative atmosphere. Too much investment in being undertood. I don't see it as much of a negative atmosphere so much as a differing in communication and ways of being in the world. That can change even with the topic.
 
In my own path of discovery, it became pretty clear that if I spoke about it on this forum it then leads to people making all sorts of assumptions about me that I then have to spend more time dispelling every single time I form an opinion about something.
Yes, I agree, Ceoli - I have had similar experiences with online forums and opinions formed about me by others. At some point you just run out of energy to try to defend yourself or to try to portray yourself as even reasonable.

I came to the conclusion that there are always going to be those who are going to not "get me" or "where I am coming from", and are going to form their own opinions. After a reasonable amount of back and forth debate with them at some point you need to just walk away, otherwise you go mad.

Personally, I appreciate the viewpoints that you provide here. I don't always agree with them, but that doesn't mean that I can't respect them and appreciate them - you make me think, and that is a good thing.
 
I guess I just don't waste a lot of time in trying to dispel the opinions that others get of me online.

It takes WAY too much time and I simply don't HAVE that amount of free time available.

Not so much that I don't care, I just have too many things higher on my list of priorities and therefore-that one isn't important enough to warrant spending time on it. When I have time, I need to put that time into things that promote the more personally important details in my life...
 
I am growing rather weary of being told that this is a "culture issue not a moderator issue" on one hand, and on the other hand being told (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showpost.php?p=23487&postcount=19) that it's the moderators who set the tone of the culture and that we play favorites by tacitly agreeing with the passive-aggressive people.

I'll offer up here that anybody who believes that either hasn't been around long enough or is simply ignoring what's going on. I've been gone for a while, yes, though I doubt things have changed a great deal in my absence. The moderating guidelines were established to squelch egregious bad behaviors and little more--people are still allowed (and expected) to behave as people. That means there will be folks reading extraneous stuff into messages--and I've seen examples of that in this thread by the folks decrying such--and behaving as foolishly or pompously or annoyingly or human as anybody can expect in face-to-face settings.

So, while passive-aggressive snark can get somebody booted, not all passive-aggressive behavior is targeted. Just as not everybody does relationships well, not everybody does serious discussion well. One can rail against it or simply deal with it. One can disagree without behaving disagreeably.

Here's something that I think is important to keep in mind: this site has always been about allowing people to be people--and that means some members won't get along with others and some people will always be difficult to deal with. The discussions won't progress in any specific manner, even with obvious derailments getting removed.

Furthermore, the mod crew won't be moderating things in any fashion that everybody--or any given person--will agree with. Anybody who can't deal with that is welcome to find forums elsewhere that are fit better with personal preferences. There's no harm nor foul in going elsewhere.

The established bias in moderating is to keep people participating if at all possible. A post can get deleted without an infraction being assigned. Warnings are available on many types of infractions so that the member can continue to participate without accruing points toward banishment. That bias extends to everybody, despite spurious claims to favoritism.

Just so ya know.
 
Back
Top