Story of Elle

Poor Sarge was still hurting on Sunday. I got to his place around noon, we had a quick lunch, did some grocery shopping, I cooked dinner, and we were asleep by 9pm. He was still taking opiates around the clock and very uncomfortable. At 7am Monday morning, TED dropped the Juniors off. They are on spring break this week. I logged onto work and did some work until around noon, then Sarge and I went to lunch and to his PCP. She determined his dislocated ribs were still dislocated, and decided to put them back in place. She gave him an injection of a sedative, and twenty minutes later, he was on planet peanut butter, and she came back in. She was able to successfully reduce them, and he felt instant relief. As of this morning, he is sore, but can finally take deep breaths, and isn’t in pain. He’s back to work as of today, and on light duty for a couple of weeks. The Doctor said he’s really at risk for re-dislocation for a bit, so he has to take it easy.

I dropped him at home, got him settled, and headed home, where Steel and I watched the Walking Dead episode from Sunday night, and reconnected.

So life is mostly back to normal in Elleville.
Long time since I’ve caught up here. Life is moving along. Steel and I are wonderful, as usual. The dumplings are fine, the house is done- except for the inground pool we are about to put in- that should be a huge mess, and I’m looking forward to it being completed.

Sarge and I are wonderful, too. Celebrated four years last month, and going strong. J14 (almost 15 now) is still mentally ill, and I can’t imagine he ever won’t be. TED remains a useless piece of shit, outdoing herself with her useless parenting day after day. At this point, she provides them with nothing more than a roof, and unlimited junk food. Both Juniors are morbidly obese at this point. Sarge parents them, feeds them healthily, has them move their bodies- then they go back to TED, and she undoes it all. J9 isn’t old enough to make his own food choices, J14 is, but McDonald’s, video games and laziness is an easier choice. It’s a damn mess- but it’s not my circus.

I’m looking forward to the holidays- I gave my parents the opportunity to say they’d prefer Sarge not join us for Thanksgiving- they are getting older, and I don’t know how many years they have left- I’ve decided I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. They appreciated me asking, and acknowledging their feelings- and said they were fine with Sarge joining us. So yay.
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Thanks for the update! How did Thanksgiving with your parents go?

Wish you and yours a great year in 2020.
Thanks for the update! How did Thanksgiving with your parents go?

Wish you and yours a great year in 2020.

Thank you! Same to you. Thanksgiving was a success. Sarge and J10 came, and it was fine. J15 was left at TED’s house- even though it was Sarge’s holiday- we knew he wouldn’t have any fun here, and would be too much for my parents. He was fine with it, since TED lets him do whatever he wants and eat himself into a coma, anyway.

Things here are fine. Steel is “talking to” a woman we all met together at a poly meet, and it’s slow going, but going.

Sarge and I went to breakfast the weekend before Christmas, and in walked TED with J15. We later learned J10 was IN THE CAR!? ( I can’t with this woman!) Anyway, she came right over and one arm hugged me like we were long lost besties. She then told me I looked “fabulous.” It was SO AWKWARD. I just said thanks, and ignored her.

It was a quiet Holiday here and now it’s back to the daily grind. I have a Vegas trip soon with the girls, Steel and I are going to Jamaica in May for our 20th anniversary, we have our family beach week in June, and Sarge and I are trying to squeeze a quick cruise in sometime in the next few months. Lots to look forward to!
I suppose I owe it to myself to close out this story. One day, I’m sure I’ll look back over it, and want to see the end.

The end. Sarge and I had a wonderful 5 night vacation in an exotic, tropical location. Lazy days in the Sun, deep talks of the future- it was truly the most connected time of our relationship, and was full of wonderful memories and love.

We said our goodbyes at the airport on March 13th, 2020. It was the last time I saw him.
Covid hit, and the world stopped spinning. We naively thought (like the rest of the world) it would be two weeks to stop the spread.
Over the course of the following months, TED, in true TED fashion, decided it was a hoax. She refused to mask unless she was forced to at work, she refused to let the kids attend virtual school. She continued to dine in restaurants, attend parties, and live her normal, selfish existence. I couldn’t bring myself to see Sarge, my own anxiety of the virus was (and is) quite real. Knowing his juniors were living half the month with someone who didn’t take even the slightest precautions was too risky.

I finally, officially, ended it in September, a month shy of our 5 years together. Our relationship had turned into a few scattered texts throughout the day, mostly with me feeling angry hearing all the things the juniors were exposed to, and knowing there was no way we could carry on a text relationship for the long haul. It was quick, and cut deep, he didn’t even respond to me for five days. It wasn’t fair to him- I can’t give him what he deserves- a person of his own- someone to be there when he comes home at night. I had to explain I wasn’t doing this “to him,” rather “FOR him.” I don’t think he agreed.
Either way, almost six months later, I’m still comfortable with my choice. Take Covid out of the equation, the very sad truth is, I genuinely dislike his Child, and felt physically unsafe in his presence- that is a mountain that is non-scalable.

We have texted sporadically since then, nothing more than a random meme, or a “How are you?” with no action on either of our parts when the truthful answer was given. The most recent communication was him telling me he, and eldest Junior had Covid.

I love him. I always will. I hope he finds what he deserves. I hope he gets his Son the mental health treatment he so badly needs. I hope all his dreams come true. I wish this wasn’t the end of our story, but it is. I am OKAY (minus the normal tumult we collectively feel regarding loss of normalcy.)

Steel is fine, my dumplings are fine, life goes on. I have a Sarge shaped hole in my heart, and memories to last my lifetime. I don’t regret the years we spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll meet someone else, maybe I won’t. For now, my focus is the family under my roof, and myself.



Official Greeter
Well that sucks, that TED was so careless about Covid, and it sounds like Sarge went along with that. Breaking up is an awful thing to have to do, but it sounds like in this case it was for the best. Hang in there.


I'm really sorry, Elle. The situation with TED and Sarge's son sounded unbearable. It seems you did the best thing for your wellbeing. I hope that the new year brings you peace and light.
Thanks, Kevin and Pink.

I keep having these dreams where I “catch” Sarge with another woman. They wake me in a cold sweat. My logical brain knows he will meet someone, hell, I even hope he does, and soon. But my heart hurts at the thought of someone else sleeping in my spot, or using my drawer.
After a couple of glasses of wine Saturday, I wrote a very not nice email to Junior16. I basically told him it was his fault I left his Father. I compared him to his egg donor, pointed out all the things he did to alienate me, and every person whose ever met him. I went point by point, and made it crystal clear that his abhorrent behavior and ability to suck all joy out of every single interaction is the reason his dad lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I reminded him he is the reason his dad will never be able to have true love, because he is a disgusting human who needs help. I reminded him that his “mother” was a lost cause, who will never change. She lives a miserable existence, surrounding herself with undesirable men, wasting her money on tattoos and cigarettes, and being an absolutely useless piece of trash. I told him he was young enough, and smart enough to be better. He still had a chance to change, to be someone others wanted to be around, to change his path, and not end up in jail, dead, or living with TED until he’s 50.
Of course, I didn’t send it, but holy shit did it feel good to write it. It was mean, downright cruel even, and it scares me the words flowed so easily off my fingertips. But, after writing it, I felt like I had finally pooped after days of constipation. Seeing it all in black and white was a huge relief, and even reading it back today, it feels freeing. It’s the honest to God’s truth. If he wasn’t around, I truly believe Sarge and I would have lasted forever. Sure, we had normal relationship issues, but none of them were things we couldn’t work through- this issue- there is no solution. Yeah, I feel like an asshole, and wonder if I’m a terrible person for allowing myself to actually admit I hate a child. But, at least I didn’t send it, and never will. His kid comes first, and while I understand, I don’t understand. If my dumplings had even close to the same issues, it would be my life’s mission to turn them around- instead Sarge is a victim to Ted, and partially his own ineffective parenting. The cycle will never end, and as long as Junior16 is alive, he will continue to wreak havoc on the lives of those around him.

I get my second vaccine next week- thanks to politics- Steel and I have been generous donors for a local hospital system for years, and were invited to be vaccinated. He was able to get it anyway, through his medical issues, but mine was 100% purchased. It makes me sick that this virus, and vaccine are political issues, but not sick enough that I turned down their offer. Having a plaque in the lobby, and vaccine in my arm is the thanks I got for years of generosity.

I’m hoping to meet best friend in Hilton Head in early April- just five days at a cottage on the beach. We will cook, sleep, chat, drink too much wine, eat some edibles, and reconnect. I haven’t seen her since February of last year, and I really could use some time. Since I’ll be fully vaccinated, and driving myself, I think it will feel somewhat safe.

I miss him. I miss what we had, and what we looked forward to having. But, every time I have a conscious thought of him, I pick it up, package it, and tuck it away in the recesses of my brain. It will never work again, it just won’t.


Official Greeter
It sounds like you're doing the things you need to do to thrive, not just survive. 2020 was a sucky year, and 2021 will only improve at a slow crawl -- if that! You deserve to have some happiness. I wonder if there's anything Sarge could do to improve Junior16's attitude. If there was anything, would he do it? or does he just want to please Ted? Anyway, you got yourself off of that ship before it sank beneath the waves. I believe that was the right move.