sage
New member
Dearest Monomom
It sounds like you may be the one who has been the primary carer of your two
additional needs children. That kind of commitment can make anyone feel a bit worn around the edges. I know the insecurity that this kind of admission from a partner can bring up and while it is totally understandable I think you should try and keep it in perspective. He hasn't done anything yet, and he has only been honest about his feelings. It is very normal for men to want to have sex with women other than their partners. It's what they do about it that counts.
Maybe you could open up a discussion with him about both of your needs and you can both help each other to meet them. He wants to open up your marriage, you don't and it feels very painful for you because it goes against your core principles and the vision you have for your life together. I've bolded the words want and need because there is a very important differentiation between the two. Perhaps before he embarks on pursuing what he wants you could ask him if both of you could explore whether his needs are not being met and see if together you could find some other way to meet them. Maybe because of your children's needs you have lost the romance and spontaneity of your relationship? I think it would be a fair thing to ask him to look deeper at the relationship he has with you first, before embarking on a course of action which could very well end the family unit as it now is.
Remember this forum is mainly used by polyamorous people so if you find it is getting too hard on the thread feel free to private message me.
Hugs
Sage
It sounds like you may be the one who has been the primary carer of your two
additional needs children. That kind of commitment can make anyone feel a bit worn around the edges. I know the insecurity that this kind of admission from a partner can bring up and while it is totally understandable I think you should try and keep it in perspective. He hasn't done anything yet, and he has only been honest about his feelings. It is very normal for men to want to have sex with women other than their partners. It's what they do about it that counts.
Maybe you could open up a discussion with him about both of your needs and you can both help each other to meet them. He wants to open up your marriage, you don't and it feels very painful for you because it goes against your core principles and the vision you have for your life together. I've bolded the words want and need because there is a very important differentiation between the two. Perhaps before he embarks on pursuing what he wants you could ask him if both of you could explore whether his needs are not being met and see if together you could find some other way to meet them. Maybe because of your children's needs you have lost the romance and spontaneity of your relationship? I think it would be a fair thing to ask him to look deeper at the relationship he has with you first, before embarking on a course of action which could very well end the family unit as it now is.
Remember this forum is mainly used by polyamorous people so if you find it is getting too hard on the thread feel free to private message me.
Hugs
Sage