psychotomato
New member
This is gonna be a long post, tl;dr at the end.
About us: me (23 F, bisexual), S (24 F, hetero), J (24 M, hetero)
Back in September I moved to a new apartment with 3 friends, two of whom (J and S) are a long-term couple (almost 4 years).
J and I came very close to engaging sexually a few times, even though S and J were in a closed monogamous relationship. we spoke to S openly about this and she was very upset, almost to the point of them breaking up. J was trying to persuade S and I to try and become a throuple, but S and I had only known each other for a few months at that point under these circumstances she and I had no interest in that whatsoever.
A few months had past, S and I had become much closer than we initially were (partially, I believe, because of the nature of our complex situation).
in the last month or so we've become emotionally intimate and have developed a great deal of trust. Despite all of what I've mentioned above, one thing led to the other and all three of us have had two sexual encounters and are currently talking about possibly becoming a poly relationship.
Current overview of imbalances (from my point of view, at least):
- S and I became very close in a friendly way, and I'm not yet certain it is or should be romantic/sexual.
- My friendship with J took a great hit from all I've mentioned above.
- S feels insecure about me and J being sexual and intimate.
- S has no experience with women and doesn't consider herself sapphic.
- S and J have been together for 4 years, and while I've known them for quite some time, I do feel left out at times.
Do you think it is possible to somehow overcome those obstacles? I would say that objectively we could make a really nice throuple, it's our history that makes it problematic.
tl;dr:
When trying to start a closed poly relationship -
1) How can you get rid of couple privilege?
2) What can I do to make our straight female partner more comfortable with her first time woman-on-woman action?
3) What would you say are the key guidelines to follow when trying to start a three-person relationship?
About us: me (23 F, bisexual), S (24 F, hetero), J (24 M, hetero)
Back in September I moved to a new apartment with 3 friends, two of whom (J and S) are a long-term couple (almost 4 years).
J and I came very close to engaging sexually a few times, even though S and J were in a closed monogamous relationship. we spoke to S openly about this and she was very upset, almost to the point of them breaking up. J was trying to persuade S and I to try and become a throuple, but S and I had only known each other for a few months at that point under these circumstances she and I had no interest in that whatsoever.
A few months had past, S and I had become much closer than we initially were (partially, I believe, because of the nature of our complex situation).
in the last month or so we've become emotionally intimate and have developed a great deal of trust. Despite all of what I've mentioned above, one thing led to the other and all three of us have had two sexual encounters and are currently talking about possibly becoming a poly relationship.
Current overview of imbalances (from my point of view, at least):
- S and I became very close in a friendly way, and I'm not yet certain it is or should be romantic/sexual.
- My friendship with J took a great hit from all I've mentioned above.
- S feels insecure about me and J being sexual and intimate.
- S has no experience with women and doesn't consider herself sapphic.
- S and J have been together for 4 years, and while I've known them for quite some time, I do feel left out at times.
Do you think it is possible to somehow overcome those obstacles? I would say that objectively we could make a really nice throuple, it's our history that makes it problematic.
tl;dr:
When trying to start a closed poly relationship -
1) How can you get rid of couple privilege?
2) What can I do to make our straight female partner more comfortable with her first time woman-on-woman action?
3) What would you say are the key guidelines to follow when trying to start a three-person relationship?