tallbosguy
Member
Hey everyone,
I hope all is well, and thank you for the help everyone has. It is a bit of a rough time for me, personally and my gf and her husband reunited so it is a time of shifting resources. My gf met up with a ONS for a second time and as it was on the cusp of my boundary comfort, I am up and down. We have seen each other 3 times in the past 3 months and will again once or twice the next month. This is great, but the totally unplanned meeting after her and I were already strained adjusting just hit pretty hard today.
The brag;
This time I was also really suffering mentally from other issues and as I said above, she dropped that last minute this one random guy she met before wanted to meet up. I went for a drive and her I talked after, I was really ready to walk from this whole thing as I incorrectly remembered the last time they met up and I was pretty certain she violated our boundaries. On the phone she was very supportive of me, and was respectful of whatever decision I was going to go to. She pointed out it had been about a month. They might meet again for all three of them, which is a different issue altogether.
Right now I feel okay though, and what used to throw me for a loop for days or weeks seems to be fading faster which is the brag. One of the things we discussed was her and her husbands adjustment period around jealousy. I also spoke with another poly/enm couple about their jealousy timeline, and though I feel rough still given the week and personal issues I feel better than I did the last time I was going through it. However, it still hits. Her and I will talk about it more after we sleep.
So onto the question, how long did all of you take to adjust to it? I feel a bit shamed and embarrassed about this, I played with many couples being in the poly/enm for years before without any jealousy so I am a weird mix of very experienced and new. I am unfamiliar with what the timelines of everyone, and while I am aware our situations are not directly measurable I am just seeing what folks experiences were.
TBG
Edit: Before anyone gives the workbook, etc, I have written in a journal and reviewed that. I have all those links saved and ready to go!
I hope all is well, and thank you for the help everyone has. It is a bit of a rough time for me, personally and my gf and her husband reunited so it is a time of shifting resources. My gf met up with a ONS for a second time and as it was on the cusp of my boundary comfort, I am up and down. We have seen each other 3 times in the past 3 months and will again once or twice the next month. This is great, but the totally unplanned meeting after her and I were already strained adjusting just hit pretty hard today.
The brag;
This time I was also really suffering mentally from other issues and as I said above, she dropped that last minute this one random guy she met before wanted to meet up. I went for a drive and her I talked after, I was really ready to walk from this whole thing as I incorrectly remembered the last time they met up and I was pretty certain she violated our boundaries. On the phone she was very supportive of me, and was respectful of whatever decision I was going to go to. She pointed out it had been about a month. They might meet again for all three of them, which is a different issue altogether.
Right now I feel okay though, and what used to throw me for a loop for days or weeks seems to be fading faster which is the brag. One of the things we discussed was her and her husbands adjustment period around jealousy. I also spoke with another poly/enm couple about their jealousy timeline, and though I feel rough still given the week and personal issues I feel better than I did the last time I was going through it. However, it still hits. Her and I will talk about it more after we sleep.
So onto the question, how long did all of you take to adjust to it? I feel a bit shamed and embarrassed about this, I played with many couples being in the poly/enm for years before without any jealousy so I am a weird mix of very experienced and new. I am unfamiliar with what the timelines of everyone, and while I am aware our situations are not directly measurable I am just seeing what folks experiences were.
TBG
Edit: Before anyone gives the workbook, etc, I have written in a journal and reviewed that. I have all those links saved and ready to go!