Peer pressure.
I found out when I made a bunch of poly friends. When I moved into the area that I live in now, I met a particular woman at work who I really hit it off with, and she introduced me to her friend group. A number of them were poly.
Before then, I had told partners that I was comfortable with hook-ups and one night stands, though none of them took me up on it - so I never discussed anything further with them, though I did think about it (things like "what if my partner really likes that other person too? what happens?").
I wrote a whole blog post about it that describes it better than I can recap in a post, if you're curious:
https://learningmanyloves.wordpress...entary-chapter-1-starting-the-journey-part-1/
I think I was always pretty friendly to the concept of polyamory. I've always loved creating close, loving relationships with people and until Jon, I never really experienced relationship jealousy. I think that's because most people - even people that I've really deeply loved and had a strong connection to - didn't get enough of me that I felt like there would be an irreplaceable lack in my life if we stopped being close. I would (and have) grieved when some people have left my life because no one is replaceable by an identical person, and I feel like it's all those quirks that make a person into a unique individual that fosters whatever particular type of love I have for them. But even so, usually when I grieve for the loss of a person, it's tempered by knowing there are a lot of other wonderful people out there - even if that's a cold and empty comfort at first.
Beyond that, I tend to be pretty pragmatic about death - any of us could have an aneurism at any time, really. Or get hit by a bus. Have an accident. So I try to keep that transience in mind.
Jon is the only person who really understands so many parts of me. I remember the first time that Jon came to my apartment and met my (at the time) partner Rachel. She was making small talk with him and asked him what he liked to do on weekends when he's feeling lazy. His response was basically the EXACT thing that I like to do on weekends, down to even saying something like "and when I'm feeling like I *really* need to chill, I order in hot and sour soup and singapore mei fun and also get a pint of either lemon sorbet or Steve's Salty Caramel ice cream to top it off." Basically, every single thing he described was the exact thing that I watch/do/eat when I want to relax and this is before he and I had talked about
any of those things. Jon and I had to both swear to her that we didn't rehearse that because she was floored that we'd like the exact same thing like that. Jon and I were both pretty floored too. We're on the same wavelength to the point that his family and my family have also both thought we were putting them on about the sheer amount of things we have in common.
Um, so what was my point? It was that Jon is an anomaly to me in terms of jealousy and feeling like I have a level of connection with him that I'm not sure if I'll ever have with another person. But in terms of becoming polyamorous, had I learned about it earlier in life, I think I would have become poly then. It definitely feels like the right choice for me emotionally and mentally and physically it's pretty enjoyable for me too.