Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

omg lol... now he messaged my gf! She basically said "Why would you want to talk to me when you think my gf's such a bitch?" and he was like "What, did she send you after me?" to which she responds "uhh... you messaged me. Which is surprising, since I mention my gf on my profile, and if you think she's such a bitch, why would you want to chat with her girlfriend?"
 
I have such a problem responding to these without sounding like a run of the mill tool, maybe because I am. I just do the general "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" I'm such a damn geek. I just don't know what to say.
 
I have such a problem responding to these without sounding like a run of the mill tool, maybe because I am. I just do the general "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" I'm such a damn geek. I just don't know what to say.

It would probably help to pick out what exactly it was about their profile that made them sound interesting - you like x/I like x, you like y/ I haven't met too many people interested in y, etc. You want to let them know that you actually read their profile and that x, y, and z about it intrigued you. "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" sound like something that you copy/pasted to 2000 girls profiles at once - because it doesn't reference anything specific about the girl you are messaging.

JaneQ

PS. Disclaimer - I have a pic-less OKC profile. Take my comments with a grain of salt. I can only talk about what would attract me (a poly bi girl) to respond to someone's message.
 
It would probably help to pick out what exactly it was about their profile that made them sound interesting - you like x/I like x, you like y/ I haven't met too many people interested in y, etc. You want to let them know that you actually read their profile and that x, y, and z about it intrigued you. "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" sound like something that you copy/pasted to 2000 girls profiles at once - because it doesn't reference anything specific about the girl you are messaging.

JaneQ

PS. Disclaimer - I have a pic-less OKC profile. Take my comments with a grain of salt. I can only talk about what would attract me (a poly bi girl) to respond to someone's message.
I'd agree with this.

and to put more emphasis on it... not only -sound- like you read the profile, but -actually read the damn profile-. :p

I often read peoples' answers to questions on the site a lot. More than I actually ever send a message. Because I find that often, just reading some of the things they say in the question sections, have a lot more insight into who they are, than a few paragraphs [if you're lucky] that they wrote themselves on their main page.

As someone who is poly, one of the first questions I enjoy seeing is "would you be willing to have an open relationship?" or something along those lines. Because the answer given will give me a clue to give up right away, or carry on reading more answers to questions. =]

Then again, I'm one of the sad gits who has answered over 800 of those things, so far. A lot of them, with extra comments in the optional box. :D
 
I often read peoples' answers to questions on the site a lot. More than I actually ever send a message.

Yep, I think the questions are awesome. That's the whole point of OKC over other dating sites. Whenever someone messages me, I go straight to the "unacceptable answers" section and explore from there. That usually gives me a good nugget or two for a conversation. Then again, I like to challenge people...
 
Yep, I think the questions are awesome. That's the whole point of OKC over other dating sites. Whenever someone messages me, I go straight to the "unacceptable answers" section and explore from there. That usually gives me a good nugget or two for a conversation. Then again, I like to challenge people...

I also read the questions on OKC when I was on that site. (OKC and I are 'it's complicated' right now. :))

I was very open about being bisexual in my profile. And I was just stunned by several men who would contact me but who in their question responses were against same sex marriage, same sex adoption, etc. - but wanted to bang a bisexual woman. I know it's a vicious version of good enough to fuck but definitely not bring home to mama but still surprised me all the same.
 
I just do the general "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" I'm such a damn geek. I just don't know what to say.

If I receive those kinds of messages, I usually just block the guy right away without even looking at his profile. If all he can say is, "You seem interesting & I wanna know you," I assume he really hasn't read my profile and is just sending the same lame sentence out to everyone. Plus, it comes off as arrogant - it's like just because he wants to know me, I should contact him? And since nothing specific in my profile is mentioned, it is also assumed he only looked at my pictures. Major turn-off. Interesting, ugh. What, EXACTLY, interested you?

Find something specific in a person's profile to comment on, and say why you relate to it or why it appeals to you. Write a few sentences, show some intellect, and a sense of humor. Don't ask them out in the first message, just say what sparked your interest and let it play out from there. Be willing to have a conversation first. We spend a lot of time and energy writing profiles, and responders should at least make some effort themselves to let us know it was worth the trouble.
 
Last edited:
With my latest interest (I call him Blondie on my blog), I saw he looked at my profile, so a day later I said, "Hey S___, what are you doing today?"

That's all it took. He told me what his plans were, I told him mine, and good convo ensued. It's not always so simple, so it was kinda cool.
 
My gem of the day:

"guys don't like sloppy seconds you know"

Just that, nothing more.

(My profile has nothing about casual sex or MFM threesomes or whatever. Just poly and ethical non-monogamy.)

Gee, thanks for taking the time out of your day to call me a slut.
 
My gem of the day:

"guys don't like sloppy seconds you know"

Just that, nothing more.

(My profile has nothing about casual sex or MFM threesomes or whatever. Just poly and ethical non-monogamy.)

Gee, thanks for taking the time out of your day to call me a slut.


He probably has cuckolding fantasies and feels guilty about it.
;)
 
My gem of the day:

"guys don't like sloppy seconds you know"

Wow and I thought some of the messages I'd gotten where the only purpose seemed to be to tell me me what I was doing was wrong/horrible were bad.
 
My response would have been, I've never had any complaints. . . maybe you're doing it wrong. . . .besides, wearing a condom means he never even has to touch another guys cum. *shrugs* I never get any messages on OK Cupid anymore.
 
your fuckin slamiin. u bald?

Were these kids brought up in a barn?
 
I don't know which disturbs me more: that some of these guys don't know they're being jerks or that they don't know their written communication is incoherent, almost meaningless.

Unless, perhaps, it's some sort of minimalist poetry?

*ahem*

hello
how are you
your fuckin slamiin
what
the definition of a friend​

Hmm . . . this suggests a project . . .
 
Last edited:
Lol
 
Back
Top