My partner Gideon and I were long distance for several years. He started dating his partner Jaymie before I was able to confess romantically to him, so adding Jaymie into our childhood-long friendship was a bit awkward for me, especially since I got a terribly rude impression of them when I was first introduced. Jaymie already identified as poly back then, so when I did confess, I pitched the idea of joining the existing relationship, with everyone's consent and communication.
While Gideon remained long distance, I ended up moving in with Jaymie and we finally hit it off. I was even falling for them. But when Gideon was able to move in with us, it turned out Jaymie had been putting on a false persona. They immediately became insecure, jealous and angry over our connection, now that it was in person and impossible to ignore. They lashed out about any shared intimacy, accused us of dating behind their back (VERY much never true), and things like that, to the point where we felt like we had to hide our affections with each other (e.g., no kissing in front of Jaymie, etc.). It caused a lot of fights and obviously I lost all trust in them. For a while I was talking to Gideon about whether their relationship seemed healthy to continue.
Ultimately, they are still together. But now I am stuck in a situation where I live with a person who made me feel very unhappy and unsafe (mentally) in my own home, while they claim I am one of their best friends. It's clear my needs will not be met, not by either of them. I need to just break up with Gideon and move out but I don't have the money yet, and while I'd like to try dating again, I've never done that before (all of my previous relationships have formed from close friendships, and I haven't met any new friends lately). I've also never really broken up with someone and I'm afraid of it coming off as an emotional attack. We're all young and stupid, honestly. I just need advice.
I should also add I don't hate either of them and I hope none have come off as villains. We're all going through a lot mentally, but their behavior is putting too much of a strain on me trying to live my life.
Tl;dr: My metamour fucked up the relationship but my partner remains loyal to them, and there's no getting away to breathe because we all live together. I want to break up and move on and I don't know how. Help!
While Gideon remained long distance, I ended up moving in with Jaymie and we finally hit it off. I was even falling for them. But when Gideon was able to move in with us, it turned out Jaymie had been putting on a false persona. They immediately became insecure, jealous and angry over our connection, now that it was in person and impossible to ignore. They lashed out about any shared intimacy, accused us of dating behind their back (VERY much never true), and things like that, to the point where we felt like we had to hide our affections with each other (e.g., no kissing in front of Jaymie, etc.). It caused a lot of fights and obviously I lost all trust in them. For a while I was talking to Gideon about whether their relationship seemed healthy to continue.
Ultimately, they are still together. But now I am stuck in a situation where I live with a person who made me feel very unhappy and unsafe (mentally) in my own home, while they claim I am one of their best friends. It's clear my needs will not be met, not by either of them. I need to just break up with Gideon and move out but I don't have the money yet, and while I'd like to try dating again, I've never done that before (all of my previous relationships have formed from close friendships, and I haven't met any new friends lately). I've also never really broken up with someone and I'm afraid of it coming off as an emotional attack. We're all young and stupid, honestly. I just need advice.
I should also add I don't hate either of them and I hope none have come off as villains. We're all going through a lot mentally, but their behavior is putting too much of a strain on me trying to live my life.
Tl;dr: My metamour fucked up the relationship but my partner remains loyal to them, and there's no getting away to breathe because we all live together. I want to break up and move on and I don't know how. Help!