A Wild Preston Has Appeared! - insert 8-bit Pokémon music

Preston Dinkle

Preston Dinkle

New member
Hi! Feel free to vet me on FB. See my profile for details. My avatar is just because I can't be bothered to find or make a good photo at this time lol

I am indeed the aforementioned Preston. I am 37M, cis-while-male. I have been divorced since 2022 and am considering if I am poly. As a teenager I struggled to maintain a steady girlfriend and was more comfortable having several "special" lady-relationships (though I was raised Mormon so sex wasn't allowed). I was married for 11 years and, unfortunately, had several emotional affairs with other women, married or otherwise. Finally, the ex and I decided to divorce, and our relationship has been better because of it. We have had 3 beautiful children together (10, 8, and 3). I voluntarily gave her custody of the kids at the time of our divorce as I was not in a good mental space at that time. My ex has been very generous with visitations, and we both work together to perform childcare duties whilst both working different shifts.

I have two beautiful doggos I love very much. I just acquired them this year, and I never thought I could love animals so much!

I currently work as a security guard for Lockheed Martin (I don't like supporting the military industrial complex but it pays well with good prospects of raises/promotions). My goal is to get into cybersecurity. I wish to create financial security for myself and my kids while I continue to work on rebuilding my life.

I have too many hobbies. My favorite is tabletop roleplaying games. I am creating my own TTRPG, though much like Tolkien himself I may be finished with this project by the time I am 50 because I keep changing my mind on things. I have ADHD and believe myself to be autistic (it just makes sense to me). I enjoy specific activities as they are comfortable to me and have a hard time trying new things. I like the following videogames the most: Skyrim, Command & Conquer, Minecraft, Terraria, Borderlands 2, and Fallout 4. I also play several music instruments and am a baritone vocalist. I went to school for audio production. I watch YouTube exclusively and make videos on occasion. I don't really do TV or movies, though if I have to I enjoy commentating on them. I have a habit of messing around on my laptop while watching movies with movie watchers. It is a good compromise for me, but I still will comment on the video and be partially present. I recognize that I enjoy what I do out of comfort and familiarity.

I am presently an atheist, exmo, and firmly left-wing politics (pro-choice, pro-LGBT, anti-Project 2025, and so on...). This comes from over 30 years of being conservative Mormon. My life has changed drastically in the past few years. It's a long story but I just noticed things that didn't make sense and finally did my own research, coming to my own conclusions, and realizing there is a better life for me not practicing those beliefs. I am a natural black-and-white thinker and was raised to rigidly defend and convert others to my beliefs, which I recognize is not good. Still, I struggle accepting others for beliefs that are anathema to my own. Still I try, but finding love has been difficult because I am so passionate about my own views. They are views I want to express when I am with someone, but living in a very conservative state means I have to keep quiet or find other ways to express them. I feel like a pressure cooker sometimes. However, because of my own life transition I recognize the need for patience and understanding, so open-mindedness is something I must actively work on.

I value my alone time greatly, but I like having significant others close by if I need attention. Just because I want to be alone doesn't mean I want to be lonely, if that makes sense.

I love dad-jokes and puns. I love words, I study etymology, and I look for clever ways to bring them up in conversation, usually to comedic or dramatic effect. If I get comfortable around you, beware! Your own words can and will be used for my amusement ;). I am usually a better friend than a lover, but I crave that intimacy, hence why I am here. My love language is words of affirmation, and I love giving spontaneous gifts. I am good with hugs and being physically present, even if my mind may be elsewhere. Sometimes I am working on an idea or project and just need to let it all out before I can be emotionally available.

Good luck to everyone here!
 
Greetings Preston Dinkle,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Heh, I too am a left-wing atheist who used to be a conservative Mormon. Most of my relatives still live in Utah. I used to be an avid D&D player, although I always preferred my own adaptation of it. I believe that my love language, too, is Words of Affirmation. I'm glad you could join us, you seem like a cool/fun person.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
This was the best bio (or dating app bio) I've ever seen! I feel like I already know you a bit.....you could make money doing that for others.

Welcome to the forum. I hope you can get the clarity you are looking for. It's not uncommon to have former LDS turn poly. I'm happy you saw the light and have chosen a new direction. There's so much more that life has to offer when you are free from the constraints of a repressive religion. Now YOU can CHOOSE how YOU live your life and your future is bright.
 
kdt26417 said:
Greetings Preston Dinkle,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Heh, I too am a left-wing atheist who used to be a conservative Mormon. Most of my relatives still live in Utah. I used to be an avid D&D player, although I always preferred my own adaptation of it. I believe that my love language, too, is Words of Affirmation. I'm glad you could join us, you seem like a cool/fun person.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Click to expand...
Hi kdt thank you so much for the reply and the sources! Nice to meet someone with a similar background! There is an atheist group local to me, and I can almost count them on one hand lol. I have no relatives from Utah. And I agree, I am not a fan of the D&D system or the hype it gets. I prefer Pathfinder or Vampire myself. Thank you for the counsel too. If I run into any trouble I will let you know! Thank you for this great site!
 
Bobbi said:
This was the best bio (or dating app bio) I've ever seen! I feel like I already know you a bit.....you could make money doing that for others.

Welcome to the forum. I hope you can get the clarity you are looking for. It's not uncommon to have former LDS turn poly. I'm happy you saw the light and have chosen a new direction. There's so much more that life has to offer when you are free from the constraints of a repressive religion. Now YOU can CHOOSE how YOU live your life and your future is bright.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for that Bobbi that means a lot to me! I am curious to know what you meant by "....you could make money doing that for others."

Interesting that there are more exLDS here. I am hoping that my poly interest is sincere and not a product of the polygamy propaganda I was taught. I think that I am genuine considering my personal history, though, and it makes a lot of sense to me as my apostasy is not just because of the personal ways I was affected by Mormonism but also from a scientific perspective. Mixing science with the Abrahamic god, at least as far as he has been canonized by mainstream religion, makes no sense to me. Our evolution as a species and our universe doesn't line up with the timeline of any book of scripture as far as I am aware. On top of that, from what I understand of nature, monogamous unions of animals of all types are rare, if at all. As much as I love my pet female dogs I know that if there are horny males around they will try to make a move on them. Eternal monogamy is something that we humans made up. People change as they grow, and I am coming to accept fluidity in relationships as more of a norm rather than the exception. Not to say monogamy can't work at all, and its not to say that I still don't yearn for a life-partner myself, but all forms of family genius should be allowed to be explorable, as long as it is between consenting adults. All this is to say I think polyamory is the way to be for me.

Thank you for your response and for being an amazing human being in order to say those things :)
 
Yeah, the Bible doesn't quite track with reality -- most notably the Adam/Eve story, and Noah's Ark -- and the Book of Mormon is full of holes (not to mention the Pearl of Great Price). I mostly left because of the poor treatment I received (not in keeping with the "one true church"), but the logistical reasons also supported my decision.
 
"....you could make money doing that for others."
Click to expand...
You could get people to pay you to write *their* dating app introductions.
 
Preston Dinkle said:
...you could make money doing that for others."
Click to expand...
I just mean...so many have a very hard time really describing themselves in words that paint a picture of who they are when it comes to dating apps. They aren't connecting to anyone because they aren't giving anyone SOMETHING to connect with. I'm betting those people would pay to have you talk with them a bit, get to know them a little and create a profile that others can connect with in some way. It was just an afterthought.

Preston Dinkle said:
Interesting that there are more exLDS here. I am hoping that my poly interest is sincere and not a product of the polygamy propaganda I was taught.
Click to expand...
Just to be clear...I didn't mean "here". Just poly. I actually think it's a bit of both. Being raised in a super repressive way and fully believing and living LDS then, like you, doing research and finding out it was all a lie. Then deciding that they will never be led astray again. They will live their lives as they see fit and will no longer follow others.

I also think the strictness around sex and romantic relationships could have a rebound effect. I'm not saying that happens but I think a reasonable person could see the potential. There's also the "build a village" mentality of family and community, the positive side that is still very attractive and polyamory can be that village.

This is all my thoughts and I may be completely off base but I have talked to and dated many exLDS that have similar stories
 
kdt26417 said:
Yeah, the Bible doesn't quite track with reality -- most notably the Adam/Eve story, and Noah's Ark -- and the Book of Mormon is full of holes (not to mention the Pearl of Great Price). I mostly left because of the poor treatment I received (not in keeping with the "one true church"), but the logistical reasons also supported my decision.
Click to expand...
Yeah I have been on the giving and receiving end of maltreatment. I am sorry to hear that. I am curious what you mean by logistical reasons.
 
Bobbi said:
I just mean...so many have a very hard time really describing themselves in words that paint a picture of who they are when it comes to dating apps. They aren't connecting to anyone because they aren't giving anyone SOMETHING to connect with. I'm betting those people would pay to have you talk with them a bit, get to know them a little and create a profile that others can connect with in some way. It was just an afterthought.


Just to be clear...I didn't mean "here". Just poly. I actually think it's a bit of both. Being raised in a super repressive way and fully believing and living LDS then, like you, doing research and finding out it was all a lie. Then deciding that they will never be led astray again. They will live their lives as they see fit and will no longer follow others.

I also think the strictness around sex and romantic relationships could have a rebound effect. I'm not saying that happens but I think a reasonable person could see the potential. There's also the "build a village" mentality of family and community, the positive side that is still very attractive and polyamory can be that village.

This is all my thoughts and I may be completely off base but I have talked to and dated many exLDS that have similar stories
Click to expand...
Well thank you. I believe in informed consent, so being transparent is important to me. I also hope that by sharing my story I can help someone. Plus I haven't had a successful relationship since my divorce so I don't think I would be good at giving profile advice lol.

Oh okay the poly community, understood. Yes one common theme amongst organized religions, high-demand groups, and countries is the "one man saves all" narrative. LDS has a prophet, Catholics have the Pope, corporations have their CEOs, and the United States has its president (though we may have a woman president soon, which would be awesome! and increase our defensive capabilities against ring-wraith attacks!). I see similarities between corporations, countries, and religions. There always seems to be this mostly white male-dominated hierarchy. I remember working at a truck stop (will not recommend) during the Trump presidency and hearing one trucker wonder out loud why we won't all just "get behind him!" First off, gross. Second off, no matter the power given nor the reputation of the individual, he/she/they/them are still just human, still bound by the physical and mental limitations of our universe's dimensions and our evolution. I say all that to say that I agree that I no longer feel the need to follow others unless I see a benefit for myself.

I think such rulings will have a rebound effect on those who have a misunderstood and/or unfulfilled sexual need. If you are told from your religion that these feelings are the "devil's temptations" rather than your body trying to tell you something important, eventually the body wins, no matter how destructive the result may be.
 
Logistical might have been the wrong word. I meant logic. The fact that LDS scriptures don't line up with reality. As well as the polygamy scandals in the early days of the church, Mountain Meadows Massacre, and whatnot.
 
No worries my friend. Yes, logic lol. Yes I have been learning more about the church's real history thanks to Mormon Stories. I have also read some of the articles on the actual LDS site that are referenced in r/exmormon. I have found Reddit to be very responsive if you need to vent.
 
I really like this youtube channel. It's an interview show of people who have escaped from high demand religions/cults of all kinds. The host is ex-Mormon and very warm and smart.

www.youtube.com

Cults to Consciousness

Stories of claiming independence after leaving high-control groups & people. Hi! I’m Shelise Ann Sola— former devout Mormon. On C2C, my husband Jonathan and I dive deep into the nuance of cultic organizations and coercive manipulators. We are not anti-religious, but anti-abuse, and shed...
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com

For purely (ex-) Mormon content, this person is super informative and insightful and takes no shit.

www.youtube.com

Alyssa Grenfell

I gave up eternal life for coffee
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
 
I don't feel much need to vent, but I don't mind conversing about issues with the church. Sometimes I feel wistful about losing the sense of belonging I had with the church, but then I remember I didn't really belong. Nowadays, I love having Sundays to myself, and indulging in a nice glass of port. It sucks not being able to look forward to an afterlife, but I would rather make peace with the truth.
 
We go to a Presbyterian church. The old church ladies might whisper about it, but nobody says anything to us.
 
A warm hello from a fellow table rpg enthusiast and ex mormon too!
Great intro, man! Thanks for sharing so much, and helping me to get so much empathy!
I wish you can find people to connect and get the feeling you belong :)
 
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