Hello, we are a poly couple, She is a fallen away Roman, more of a Deist. I am Jewish. We both have been trying to understand our poly feelings. As I am the more religious one. We tend to follow the commandments. As for adultery, we both have had lovers and sometimes brought it to a 3some. As long as we are honest with each other, there is not cheating. We often talk about another wife, but it is hard finding another poly woman. We have one guy, a great friend, he has carte blanche to sex with my wife. He doesn't understand the poly thing.
I have found that the CHristians I know, as a general rule are hung up on monogamy. It is worse than the attitude to being gay. But really, how many of the patriarchs had more than one wife, often more were rewarded by G*d.
TheWind, you're married and Jewish. Your wife is a "fallen away Roman" so therefore a non-believer in the stories and rules of the Bible? So, she's got no conflict. But if you are a practicing Jew, you've got your Bible as well as all the complicated and conflicting rabbinical interpretations to deal with. Have you studied those?
Let's just see what Genesis says, for starters. El says in Genesis 1, the woman and man are one flesh, they should be fruitful and multiply. Yahweh (a different god, but conflated with El) tells Eve in Genesis 2, she shall desire her husband and he shall rule over her. That's about it. Each chapter, 1 and 2, says something different. It speaks poetically, and it doesn't say whether a man can have multiple wives, or a woman multiple husbands. Or lovers.
http://biblia.com/books/esv/Ge3.20
What do your rabbis say? They are supposedly inspired by "G-d". Do you believe that? Orthodox Jews believe all the rabbis were inspired by God and you need to follow their rulings. However, rabbis are recorded to disagree quite often... so now what?
It's pretty clear men thought "righteous" by the authors of the Bible were polygynists. However, there is no record of women being polyandrous. Women were the property of their husbands. If he allowed his property to take another husband, would that have been OK? The Bible doesn't say. The Bible just assumes a culture where men owned their wives. The Bible records men owning several wives and concubines. Solomon had hundreds.
How can you be a Jew or Christian male today and "rule over" your wife, who is your owned property? In the USA, no one person can own another. Therefore the law of the Bible and the law of our country conflict.
No women in the Bible had two or more husbands. Any extra male lovers or husbands would be considered taken in adultery. Therefore, the Bible is completely irrelevant to today's polyamory culture, where women are free persons.
Here is an essay on the subject which might further clarify things for Christians. It is irrelevant for the Jews, who have rabbinical rulings post Bible, and do not accept the New Testament as pertinent to their religion.
http://www.bibleresearch.org/articles/alw2.htm