Change in all the areas of my life...

Vicki82

Member
Sounds like a fun time, icesong. I hope things continue to go well, in whatever shape things take.
 

icesong

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Staff member
#kissagingerday

Life continues to be sooo very lovely right now, in *almost* all the ways. I continue to be astonished at the sheer chemistry between Artist and I - the first day he was back from spending two weeks at his inlaws he stopped by to see me, just planning on hanging out a little bit as it was the night before the first day of his new job, and we ended up sneaking in the most lovely spontaneous quickie in my office, where we were hiding from the rest of the people in the house just to have quiet conversation.

Side note: I don’t know what it says about me that the day after I fuck both my partners on the same day manages to be the most productive day I’ve had in months. This is not, I think, a coincedence. I’m not sure how to take that knowledge and apply it more universally as it’s not something I can arrange terribly often.

Anyway, I guess I buried the lede on that one - Artist has a job again, after having been out of work since like July. Which on the one hand is fabulous, it’s a *really* good gig with a Company You Have Heard Of - but because it IS such a good gig I have to get used to having less contact with him during the day than previously, at least for a while until he settles in. I’m glad that I’ve finally, finally gotten more settled in my belief in him/us so that that lower level of contact doesn’t feel like he’s pulling back.

But Artist isn’t a ginger, and thus isn’t the subject of this post. (Knight is a ginger, but also not the subject). Remember my high school friend I’ve been seeing a bit? She’s gonna be called Ginger from here on out. The funny thing about she and I is our last few encounters have been Very Ambiguous as to whether they were DATEdates or just GalsBeingPals. (The bi woman’s curse...) That changed last night! She asked me to go to a drag show at a local-ish (one town over) gay bar last night, I added tacos beforehand because I wanted to actually talk to her and not just shout over club music. And plus or minus some running around in the rain - which was really terribly cute and not even cold despite it being January - and a few creepy straight dudes at the gay club (WTF), it was pretty awesome. Very lovely sort of progression from casual touch to dancing to groping, LOL, and then she asked whether she could kiss me so I kissed her in answer. Squee. I’ve never actually had a relationship with a woman outside of some larger polycule before so this is lovely and new and I have no idea what I’m doing. Wheeeeeeeee.
 

icesong

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Staff member
Well THAT was a roller coaster of a weekend. Like, none of the roller coaster was bad (well, one bit was but the way it was handled was better than usual so I'm sort of going to call that a win) but it was just... a lot.

Last week started out rough, parenting wise and relationship wise (seriously, there was one evening where everyone in the house had literally retreated to a separate space because everyone was just DONE with everyone and everything else). Nothing specific, really, just my inability to cope with parenting combined with MiniMe's now-diagnosed ADHD etc forming a shitshow Voltron with Joan having to deal with her ex and Knight being stressed from work. Wheee.

But the week got better, and we had a good meeting with his school followed by a late lunch at an Irish pub we rarely get to go, as a decompression (like I literally wouldn't let Knight go back to the office like he vaguely planned to, something which he thanked me for later) and finally on Friday Knight and I got to go out for the evening without kid which is *really* rare for childcare reasons.

Dinner was gorgeous, and even going back and having a drink at the house led to a *really* great conversation (Knight is really smart, which I don't give him credit for enough, and he has some good ideas for how I can fix my career plans and thus our finances etc). The only downside was that either the drink or some allergy meds sort of roofied Knight and he basically passed out while we were starting to get to the naked portion of the evening. He only had half a drink more than I did, so I'm pretty sure it was the allergy meds. I'm pretty proud that I *didn't* get that angry at him that night, and mostly kept the conversation we had about the whole thing the next morning positive-is - I mean, I was hurt, and said so, but I didn't yell about it. Compared to some of the other fights that have gone to chernobyl-level toxic about the same subject it's a massive improvement.

Doesn't really give us a functional sex life but I've really hit a point where I'm .... ok with the part where that's only a sometimes thing for us. For real this time. What I wrote about before, about feeling like the "owned/used/needed" portion of my sexuality having been put in a box and given to Artist, and how that let me be ok with NOT sharing that with Knight. (And truthfully I never really have, just the edges of it shaped by teenage hormones and NRE - I just wanted to.) But that brings us to Saturday.

Saturday. I... (and if you don't want to hear about kinky sex just stop reading now, as I can't talk about this without it being at least somewhat explicit).

Saturday was the first time Artist collared me with the collar I made for him/me/us. I wore nothing but the collar and some scraps of fishnet/lace to a house party (held by Redhead&Joker, for those who have been reading this blog since 2014), and I basically spent the entire evening in what I can only call a sexual trance - from the moment he put the collar on me at my house through the drive to the party, to the rather intense impact scene (not the most intense we've ever done, I think, but I was standing with my arms bound over my head which makes things harder to take than when I'm bound to a cross or bench or the like), through what felt like an hour of keeping me on the edge of orgasm just by playing with my nipples, through some nominally social time in a hot tub and through coming home and having so very very much sex - like sex then pass out because it's two in the morning then wake up at like 8 curled into each other and have this lovely long interlude of slipping into sex then napping then yet more sex.

That was days ago and yet... I can still feel his lips on the back of my neck as he took my collar off Saturday night, like a brand still on my skin, and it makes me shiver to think about.

I don't understand this thing between us sometimes - how is it possible to have someone be one of the most supportive people in your life, who holds you even in his sleep like you're made of spun glass, and yet also beats you bruised and fucks you brainless... and the whole thing keeps escalating in intensity and yet without me wanting to spend any more time with him than I do.

I don't need to understand.
 
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Vicki82

Member
Sounds like a wonderful experience, icesong. I'm really happy for you.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
Apparently if you ask the Universe nicely, it provides? ...
And of course the next morning I have yet another new message from someone who works in my field, who I have a lot in common with, who's rather cute and who OKC seems to think is as high a match as HipsterBoy was. I replied even though I *KNOW* I'm polysaturated... what am I doing? :eek:

But then there's also potential for romance in my life as well. ...
I've now gone on two dates with this guy, and he's tall and geeky and manages to turn sweetly awkward into amazingly flirtatious in a way that makes me smile, and we have another date on the calendar and have been texting a bit in between... so I guess I'll call him AnotherArtist for now. Oh, and he can kiss. So there's that. I'm letting it build purposefully slowly, if only because the buildup is so very delicious, and... this time feels like romance, in a way that I haven't really even felt the edge of since HipsterBoy, and yet... sweeter somehow. No hint of drama, no games and pretending we were just in it for sex and friendship and love wasn't a possibility. There's almost an... innocence? Except not, given the amount of time we've spent talking about sex etc. We'll see... I'm kind of hopeful. :eek:

AnotherArtist might be someone who could actually make the leap from FWB to lover... It's probably premature to say that - 4 dates - and probably just NRE and hormones. Definitely some of it is - I mean, we ended up in bed (for the first time) before our late dinner reservations and barely made it TO dinner at all (and we're both foodies!), then fell back in bed for even more of a marathon. It was insane. It was glorious. And... it's not JUST sex, not like Tattooed is. When we weren't being intimate physically, the conversation was amazing and we can't stop touching each other and there's a sweetness, an affection there that says maybe this one is a connection. He looks at me and I feel ... beautiful, and interesting, and intelligent, and ... shiny. I could get used to that.

And then I had an amazing date with AnotherArtist. Picnic from a restaurant I like that's pretty much take out only, taken to a local landmark park that's in full spring bloom right now and UTTERLY GORGEOUS AND ROMANTIC, really great conversation and flirting followed by fabulous sex followed by curling up on the couch naked drinking gin and tonics and watching the first episode of a tv drama i think is wonderful and he hasn't seen...oh, yeah, and then more sex. I don't know if evenings can GET more awesome than that.

Even better? some of the naked conversation was about where we were as a relationship and whether I counted as a girlfriend (possibly, though in my opinion not yet but it could very well happen) and HE BROUGHT IT UP. Given how VERY many relationships I've been in where We Don't Discuss The Dynamics Of The Relationship, this was AMAZING.

I'm sort of falling bad on this one. Like, thinking about that evening and smiling for no reason bad.

It's so funny remembering where I was 5 years ago - like, that feels almost like a lifetime ago in a lot of ways, and now Artist feels like he's just always been there, rather than someone who was once new to my life... and yet every word I wrote 5 years ago, about sweetness and heat and how he makes me feel glowing? All still true, despite our relationship now being so much more settled (somewhere between "girlfriend/boyfriend" and "life partners", if we want to use that scale I linked before). I am so very very lucky.
 

icesong

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Staff member
And now pondering yet another change. Actually I'm kind of excited about this one. One of the weirder / harder things about Joan living here has been the "who's sleeping where" question. Like, I totally expected Knight to sleep upstairs sometimes of course, I just hadn't really worked out the details in my head and still haven't entirely adjusted - for some reason nights where he chooses not to sleep with me that aren't their date night just bother me, emotionally, in ways I didn't expect.

Solution, though! After a decent amount of talking - it's not just the issue above, it's Knight not feeling like he actually has time/space for himself, it's me wanting to feel chosen by him on purpose and not just the default, etc, we've decided that in the long run we're going to move him into the attic space that I currently use as a sewing room / art studio / office space (which items I'll move into our current bedroom, which is becoming just "mine").

This is so very weird - I mean separate bedrooms, isn't that just admitting something about our relationship? and yet so very FREEING (a space that is MINE) and I can quit pondering every night "is this going to be a hit on me night? a cuddle only night? an ignore me entirely night?".

The only real problem is that I have to wait until after we fix the AC system in order to buy a new bed for said "my very own space", so it's going to be a few months. Which is annoying because I want to play with decorating things NOW...
 

icesong

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Staff member
Ha, one more advantage of this whole moving of bedrooms thing - I get to pick out a bed that doesn't break on a regular basis - Ikea furniture really doesn't like some of the shenanigans I get up to...
 

Evie

Moderator
That's such an awesome solution, icesong!
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I don't mean to stir up trouble, but was the last time you had sex with Knight the time that Joan was involved in a threeway? It seems like otherwise, he just falls asleep when you wish for sex, or longer cuddles at least.

All I can say is, you're extremely lucky that you have Artist fulfilling your sex and kink needs! Things with Knight in that area seem pretty much over. I haven't read all of your blog regularly, however, so maybe I am misunderstanding.

I don't know if Knight's sexual style, such as it is, is more compatible with Joan's right now, or not. Does that not cause you envy?

My sex life with Pixi is very on again, off again, always has been. My drive is just so much higher than hers. She can seem to just forget about sex altogether for stretches. Every now and then I have to make a fuss just to remind her that I have needs. (And man, can I get depressed if I am not getting happy sex endorphins regularly enough.) Then she responds well for a period of a few weeks or a couple months, and is very happy and enthusiastic, until she gets distracted again. Lather rinse repeat.

Also, her style is odd in that she often likes sex to be one-sided. One night, she'll touch me and make me feel good, but not want to be touched. Another day, she might want things done to her, but will outright refuse to touch me! That happened the other night. One night, I spanked her and she got all happy and relaxed. I went to bed, she stayed up to do some stuff. The next day she said she could hardly sleep all night. I said, oh, probably because I didn't make you cum after the spanking. So all that day, she was flirty and sexy and finally, we were on the couch watching a movie, and I asked her to touch my nethers, and she actually would not! But she accepted me giving her oral and making her cum. After she came she made no further moves on me. I didn't mind too much, since she'd made me cum 2 days previously (plus I'd masturbated for hours), but I had sex rejection dreams twice in the night, which woke me with their intensity. Ugh.

I add that just to point out that I'm not being critical of your (lack of) sex life with Knight. We all have our quirks and frustrations, I guess.

It's pretty bad now since I haven't had a regular boyfriend in at least a year to fulfill me the way Artist fulfills you. And Pixi does have a bf! So part of her drive goes to him.
 

Vicki82

Member
I don't know- I kind of get the idea of wanting one's own space... but I really like sharing a bedroom with a partner. I don't particularly like sleeping alone.

On the other hand, I've never lived with either two partners, or a partner and a meta, so I am not sure how I would feel in that situation. I guess it's something to think about. I can see the benefits you're saying... where you know that if Knight comes to sleep with you that he really wants to. But I don't know how I'd feel about the whole thing.
 

icesong

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Staff member
I don't write about every time Knight and I have sex (nor Artist and I; I'd be here a lot, LOL). I think we probably had sex, hmm, 3 times in January not counting the threesome, only one of which I wrote about here? It's not enough by my preferences but not a sexless marriage by any means, though I think that was a higher number for the month than it has been in quite a while.

I mean, it's complicated, Magdlyn - I was coming here to write about that anyway because it's not really the frequency that's the problem, it's the sheer... lack of predictability. Sometimes he's into me and sometimes he's not - and he's been the same with other partners in the past, once the NRE wears off, which is a thing I shouldn't have known and yet here I am. I'm not even a hundred percent sure Joan is truly happy with their sex life but that's between them to fix or whatever. (How someone who wants alone time and doesn't have a terribly huge libido ended up with not one but two live in partners is ... an interesting set of life circumstances, LOL.) Anyway it sounds similar, a little, to you and Pixi, in terms of mismatched drives etc...

I mean, I think he *may* be more compatible with Joan in bed, in some ways - at the very least she initiates things in ways I do not which I know he likes, for instance. And I'm fine with that, just like I'm fine with the idea that he's not as into kink as I am.

I just want to know what to expect, y'know? like I was telling him earlier today (as we did end up getting in another conversation about this last night / this morning) if we go to bed I feel like I have a 50% shot of going to sleep as though I'm alone, 10% shot of getting laid, 20% shot of cuddles, and 10% shot of staying up half the night fighting about sex. The odds are not really in my favor... and while those may not be real numbers they're my current perception and perception is reality sometimes.

I'm still deciding how I feel about sleeping alone - I used to hate it, intensely, like I'd be really sad whenever Knight had work travel or something. But I've grown to not mind it as much, and there's something nice about ONLY sleeping with a partner in happy post-coital bliss rather than just ... existing in the same space. I mean, if I had a partner that _always_ wanted to cuddle even in the absence of sex, I think that would work too, but... I'd rather actually be alone than be semi-alone. Hell, at least I could masturbate unselfconsciously then.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I don't write about every time Knight and I have sex. I think we probably had sex, hmm, 3 times in January, not counting the threesome, only one of which I wrote about here? It's not enough for my preferences, although I think that was a higher number for the month than it has been in quite a while.

So, 4 times in one month was an exceptional month. Maybe normally you connect that way only 2 or 3 times a month?

I mean, it's complicated, Magdlyn - I was coming here to write about that anyway, because it's not really the frequency that's the problem, it's the sheer lack of predictability. Sometimes he's into me and sometimes he's not - and he's been the same with other partners in the past, once the NRE wears off. I'm not even a hundred percent sure Joan is truly happy with their sex life. (How someone who wants alone time and doesn't have a terribly huge libido ended up with not one, but two, live-in partners is ... an interesting set of life circumstances...)

Yes!

Anyway, it sounds similar, a little, to you and Pixi, in terms of mismatched drives etc.

Yes, it does. However, I've been with Pixi for 11 years. I'm used to the frustration, I guess. She is who she is. Her NRE wore off after only 3 months, the raging, "Let's have sex the moment you walk in through the door," kind of NRE. She does suffer from anxiety, which is fairly well managed now, with years of therapy and still being on meds, and using weed. So, I'm sure that's a part of why her desire for intense sex faded and is now hit or miss. She is undiagnosed formally with ADD, but we both think she's probably got that, to a degree, too.

So, she's kinda predictably unpredictable. And I've kinda been fine with that, since we've always been poly and I've almost always had a bf, another gf, or some kind of horny play partner. It's only in the past year or so I've been getting very tired of the dating merry-go-round. Too many jerks and unreliable men after me, who let me down and nick my heart and annoy me, time after time.

It's kind of a quandary.

I mean, I think he *may* be more compatible with Joan in bed, in some ways. At the very least, she initiates things in ways I do not, which I know he likes, for instance. And I'm fine with that, just like I'm fine with the idea that he's not as into kink as I am.

Yeah. I mean, Pixi is basically a sub, so her Master can kinda call the shots in the kink or sex and I guess she goes along with it. (We don't discuss details much.) That's their deal. But she and I are more egalitarian. So I don't get to order her to please me or let me touch her however I want, when I want. We just don't have that dynamic.

I hate to complain too much, because she is amazing in so many ways. And my sex drive is ridiculously high. It's finally easing off just a bit now, because I am 64 (!) and I have these aches and pains now, which make sex difficult or impossible sometimes. But then again, a hit of oxytocin would be wonderful some days (it relieves pain) if she'd just touch me for 10 or 15 minutes while I laid back and relaxed! And sometimes that does happen, but it's never often enough.

I just want to know what to expect, y'know? Like I was telling him earlier today (as we did end up getting in another conversation about this last night/this morning) if we go to bed I feel like I have a 50% shot of going to sleep as though I'm alone, 10% shot of getting laid, 20% shot of cuddles, and 10% shot of staying up half the night fighting about sex. The odds are not really in my favor. And while those may not be real numbers, they're my current perception, and perception is reality sometimes.

It sounds like the unpredictability is confusing! With Pixi I am 100% able to expect cuddles at any time, any day or night. She's a big cuddle bug. Unfortunately I am like many men, cuddling almost always makes me horny! When she is finally ready for some sex activity, I just explode in seconds. Sigh... And one orgasm isn't enough. Ideally, what I really need is a dozen or 3 dozen. lol

I'm still deciding how I feel about sleeping alone - I used to hate it, intensely, like I'd be really sad whenever Knight had work travel or something. But I've grown to not mind it as much, and there's something nice about ONLY sleeping with a partner in happy post-coital bliss rather than just ... existing in the same space. I mean, if I had a partner that _always_ wanted to cuddle even in the absence of sex, I think that would work too, but... I'd rather actually be alone than be semi-alone. Hell, at least I could masturbate un-self-consciously then.

I hear you! Pixi and I always sleep in the same bed, but she's very much a night owl, and I'm kinda average. I go to bed at 11:00 or 12:00 and she's usually up til 3 am. So, if I do get turned on with the cuddles, I can and do take myself in hand sometimes after going to bed. I also often do myself when she's at her bf's 2 or 3 nights a week too.

Sometimes I think this is karmic retribution. I wasn't always into sex with my ex h. We were together 30 years, and my desire for him was up and down. It was partly because we had periods of having personality clashes, and I was just deep down annoyed with him, and couldn't be intimate. Then I had the intense mothering years, where I was just mentally and physically exhausted. So his steady need for sex was not fulfilled, sometimes for years at a time. (We did have some great years in there too, however, but anyway...) So, now it's my turn! Thanks, universe!
 

icesong

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I am both astonishingly stressed and astonishingly happy right this second. On the one hand, my ADHD kicked in and I'm wildly behind on a freelance customer deadline and am going to be spending all day today, again, on that, even though I had planned on making new clothes for the medieval event I'm going to next weekend (and that Knight is running). On the other hand, I had date nights on Fri and Sat with Knight and Artist, respectively, both of which were lovely and resulted in a LOT of sex so I have plenty of endorphins to destress me.

Speaking of which Friday was 17 years married to Knight - yes, our anniversary is Valentine's day; I don't think I've ever talked about it here but we ran off and eloped at the courthouse because we failed at making Valentine's dinner plans. No, really. And I wouldn't change a thing about that. We talked while we were out about how long we had been together and how in a few years (if we're doing the math right, which I don't feel like confirming right this second) our 25th dating anniversary in Aug would be followed by our 20th wedding anniversary in February, and whether we should throw some sort of party or go on a trip or *something*.

And it's sort of funny because at one time we had definitely planned to do that big belated wedding party THING, and part of me likes the idea, but part of me is philosophically WILDLY against it - both from the idea that relationships should be celebrated JUST because of their longevity and because I have so very much love of all sorts in my life, I don't want to put this one relationship on any more of a pedestal than it already is just from society. I hate that my relationship with Knight is seen as so much more legitimate in so many people's eyes than my relationship with Artist, even by people who know me well. And I try very hard not to assume my relationship with Knight is more significant to him than his relationship with Joan, although that's a truly hard habit to break.

Still, though, the last few months... I think I believe again, though I doubted for a while, that that vision in the back of my head of us growing old together is more a probability than a possibility - and there were some years there where I did fear that we just weren't going to make it through. And yeah, that's easier to believe when we had such a lovely date on Friday and even woke up on Sat morning to more cuddles and sex - but I think that's a symptom of us being in a good place rather than being the cause of us being in a good place.
 

icesong

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So, she's kinda predictably unpredictable. And I've kinda been fine with that, since we've always been poly and I've almost always had a bf, another gf, or some kind of horny play partner. It's only in the past year or so I've been getting very tired of the dating merry-go-round. Too many jerks and unreliable men after me, who let me down and nick my heart and annoy me, time after time.

It's kind of a quandary.

I think were I you I might think about the kink/sex party scene, honestly - you'd at least be meeting people who were clearly there For Reasons and perhaps could strike a connection that was less likely to be unreliable than online dating. Because yeah, online dating is such a clusterfuck.

And one orgasm isn't enough. Ideally, what I really need is a dozen or 3 dozen. lol

not to gloat (ok maybe to gloat a little because I'm still amazed by it) but that's pretty much my weekly date with Artist... so hey, there's still hope out there for us over-sexed types? (I really am sort of almost embarrassed by just how greedy I can be - seriously I've had 4 separate sexual encounters with 2 different people and at least a dozen orgasms in the past 48 hours and I... could still be pretty easily talked into bed if I wasn't writing this and supposed to be doing freelance work or sewing? where does the sex addict line start?)
 
(I really am sort of almost embarrassed by just how greedy I can be - seriously I've had 4 separate sexual encounters with 2 different people and at least a dozen orgasms in the past 48 hours and I... could still be pretty easily talked into bed if I wasn't writing this and supposed to be doing freelance work or sewing? where does the sex addict line start?)

It's only an addiction if it significantly hampers your ability to do other things you need to do and live the rest of your life. There is nothing intrinsically morally wrong with liking and having lots of sex. :D
 

icesong

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It's only an addiction if it significantly hampers your ability to do other things you need to do and live the rest of your life. There is nothing intrinsically morally wrong with liking and having lots of sex. :D

You're right of course, mostly a wry joke at my own expense, combined with a bit of leftover sex-negativity that I haven't quite purged from myself.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I think were I you I might think about the kink/sex party scene, honestly - you'd at least be meeting people who were clearly there For Reasons, and perhaps could strike a connection that was less likely to be unreliable than online dating. Because yeah, online dating is such a clusterfuck.

I hear what works for you, parties? I have had some luck with online dating in the past, however. 2 relationships lasting years, and several decent ones lasting 9-12 months.

I can't really do sex/kink parties. I don't get off on voyeurism or exhibitionism. I'd rather watch porn than get all dressed up in the expected garb, drive somewhere, park, pay $50 or whatever, just to watch people do stuff I can see on a screen. Ho hum.

Would anyone at a kink party really approach or respond to a 64 year old, when there are lots of hot 20-40somethings bouncing around?

I think I'd only have fun if I went to a party with someone I was already really into, or with a group of people I knew well. I went to a kink club with a former bf once. He had gone to many in the past, and was getting back into it. He spent most of his time just talking to old friends. All the older people stood around and talked and watched the younger "hotter" people do some impact play and some fucking, out of the corner of their eyes. I felt awkward and bored. Even when I went to a semi private room with my friend, he seemed distracted and not in touch with me.

But thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it.

I'm almost done hogging your blog. Pixi has really stepped up since my last freakout and we had some awesome sex last Thursday. The best we'd had in ages. :) I just have to be more of a squeaky wheel. Trying to get in the pants of women is a whole different ballgame than getting in the pants of those with testosterone surging through their bodies.

Not to gloat (ok, maybe to gloat a little, because I'm still amazed by it), but that's pretty much my weekly date with Artist... so hey, there's still hope out there for us over-sexed types?

I have had 2 bfs in the past (not simultaneously) who would come over 2 or 3 times a week and fuck me silly, so I try appreciate my memories. After all, I'm old. I had plenty of fun in my fifties!

(I really am sort of almost embarrassed by just how greedy I can be - seriously I've had 4 separate sexual encounters with 2 different people and at least a dozen orgasms in the past 48 hours and I... could still be pretty easily talked into bed if I wasn't writing this and supposed to be doing freelance work or sewing? where does the sex addict line start?)

I think that's normal for women. Our sex drives, when awakened, can verge on insatiable. That's one reason men have attempted to control women's sexuality for 3000 years! That's a lot of social conditioning!

For me, it's always been, the more I get, the more I want.

I'm glad Knight has stepped up too. That's awesome.
 

Vicki82

Member
Sometimes I think those of us who are "greedy" need to hook up and have an orgy, lol!

I dunno, icesong... about the whole longevity thing. I can see benefits and drawbacks. Celebrating with you doesn't make your relationship "more important" than Knight's with Joan- it doesn't have to have anything to do with her but instead to be a celebration of you two.

I think it's a pretty awesome thing when people are still choosing to be together. When they're not together because they think the have to. In a society where love seems to be disposable, I can't believe that love still isn't something to celebrate. Henry and I have only been married for 2 years, but if neither of us is dead we want to throw a big party for our 25th anniversary too.
 

icesong

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Staff member
A thing I'm writing about not because it was huge, but specifically because it wasn't, and it made me smile and I want to read it again on some future day.

Last week the combination of my ADHD, my optimism, and my distractibility resulted in my having a VERY angry freelance client that I attempted to save via the hail-mary pass of trying to complete their project via working really stupid hours into the night. (It didn't work, but that's beside the point.)

Before I had realized just what it was going to take to make the customer happy, though, I had made weeknight plans for Artist to come over as we had missed our usual weekend date due to the medieval event I mentioned. Nothing huge was planned, just dinner and maybe a movie on the couch or whatnot, he was going to sleep over. When I realized I was doomed I offered to let him cancel or come over anyway, it'd be up to him - and he said he'd rather spend time with me even if I wasn't paying that much attention to him. So he brought takeout, and sat on the couch with me and my laptop, and kissed me whenever the laptop froze, and I worked through most of a movie until I couldn't look at my laptop anymore... then we went to bed from like 10:00-11:30, I figured I'd get back up after he was asleep. Instead he got back up with me and kept me company for a while longer, then slept with a light on so that I could come to bed without tripping on things (I have terrible night vision), and when I finally hit a wall at like, 3:30 in the morning, he held me for a while until I warmed up enough to go to sleep (I hadn't noticed that my heat had turned off.) Although he doesn't remember that last bit. :)

I mean, I'm not saying there's any less heat between us - that hour and a half I would have sworn we hadn't seen each other for a month, not a bit over a week, based on desire - but the _sweetness_ is equally overwhelming.
 

icesong

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Staff member
It's funny - in some ways the quarantine has made my life easier as much as it's made it harder. Yes, my son is home, but ... Knight and Joan are also working from home which on the one hand is a lot of people in the house but I'm so much less lonely. So that's utterly brilliant. I mean I'm terrified of the global economic consequences and I desperately miss people but ... still!

I'm still planning to see Artist this weekend. He's working from home too so honestly I'm going to treat his house as an extension of mine and call it close enough on the distancing. It's not expanding my contact circle much, neither of us are caring for people who are particularly vulnerable, it'll be ok. I don't love that ArtistWife does a job where she has to interact with vulnerable people a lot but I think it's a worthwhile risk.

I don't think I'll see Ginger again for a bit, though - we more or less went out even though we both knew we probably shouldn't on Saturday night and it was brilliant - she's so very lovely - but doing it again soon feels like just a little bit too much pushing the edges of what we should be doing for the world.
 
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