Combining poly with cuck

Sorry for the delay.

She is still cucking him. They are going away this weekend to a hotel where they have chosen the room with a proper 'cuck chair' for him to sit on while she gets fucked by someone else. I am fine about this. I know who the other guy is. They are being safe, and she is enjoying it all.

I have been thinking a lot about why I am uneasy about it, well, uneasy enough that I have posted here. I think it boils down to this: she is enjoying a kink *for* him that she would never do, much less enjoy, with me. I am not that fussed about the occasional extra fuck, because there is no dishonesty. I can't decide why this bothers me. I am not turned on really about the cuck fantasy, really, so why should she not explore it with someone else? That is one of the underlying ideas in a V relationship, that she can independently explore things which give her pleasure.

On the other hand, I admire her, too. She is a late-30s mum of 2 and lives a very rural Devon (for those who know it) married mum life here. No one would really imagine that she is going to a hotel in London where she will get fucked in front of someone else for the bank holiday weekend. She has still got it!
 
Is there some kink other than the cuck thing that you'd like to explore, but you're feeling a being weird about discussing it? Is the cuck thing with her other partner opening another can of worms in your mind? Have you guys joined and had a browse through Fetlife or https://kinksheet.com or some other resource?
 
Hello

Sorry it has taken ages for an update.

It seems to be going fine, surprisingly. She is still cucking him now and then, this evening, for example. But we still have our happy mono relationship and family.

I've been trying to work out what bothered me, but when Emma and Simon had their weekend in a hotel, where she cucked him as he watched, it actually sounded quite good fun. Not my thing at all, but I can see why they both enjoyed it. Well, I can certainly see what he enjoyed, and can imagine why she wanted to do it for him. She said it was sexier than she expected and she found it really easy to get into character with someone they didn't really know.

I am not sure what to call it all now, nor what else to add here. But thank you for all the comments and private messages. Keep in touch.

Mark
 
Thanks for the update. I am glad your relationship is still going well and you seem more used to the new situation now.

I'll second Evie's advice that maybe there is a kink you'd like to be able to explore with your wife?

Or maybe you'd be happier knowing fewer details of the scenes she does with Simon? Do you need to know that they found a hotel room with the perfect chair, etc.? Although I'm glad you and your wife talk so openly about her other experiences, does it actually help you to be able to picture the scene so clearly?

But, maybe it's fine and all is good. You wife is lucky to have such a supportive husband!
 
Yeah, it is a good question. I only really know because I asked. They had based it on a porn scene they liked. Emma showed me it and they reproduced it more or less exactly. Like you say, they found the right room online by looking for a hotel tall enough to over look the city with big windows. There was a cuck chair, but the bed and space around it needed to be big enough, she had to suck him off when he arrived, before kissing Simon, then, obviously, get fucked in front of him.

I have to say, the scene would not be my cup of tea. I can see that what they share is very different to what she and I have within our relationship. I can also see how Simon was properly cucked. It is totally different from our hinge dynamic. I am not sure I need to know more, now that I know exactly what the kink involves.

As for me, I am afraid I am not very kinky, just happy with Emma and the family.
 
DevonUK said:
It seems to be going fine, surprisingly. She is still cucking him now and then, this evening, for example. But we still have our happy mono relationship and family.
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It sounds like you’re describing their cuck situation, and also the “we as a couple" side of your marriage and family, not YOU being completely good with the new dynamic.

DevonUK said:
I've been trying to work out what bothered me, but when Emma and Simon had their weekend in a hotel, where she cucked him as he watched, it actually sounded quite good fun. Not my thing at all, but I can see why they both enjoyed it.
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To me, this all vaguely contradicts itself. It bothered you, but it actually sounded like quite good fun. Not your thing, but you can see how they both enjoyed it. If it’s not your cup of tea, and you don’t really understand it (maybe I’m projecting here, because I totally don’t understand it), I don't see how he could enjoy being humiliated being cucked by transferring the other guy's load into Simon’s mouth. I don't get the fun in that, other than Simon might be bi, but doesn’t want to officially declare it, and it won’t be too long before he’s fluffing the bull for her.

DevonUK said:
Well, I can certainly see what he enjoyed, and can imagine why she wanted to do it for him.
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So does this mean you’re now NOT bothered by any of this? You worked through it… passage of time… it hasn’t affected anything in your life, so everything is swell?

DevonUK said:
She said it was sexier than she expected and she found it really easy to get into character with someone they didn't really know.
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That all makes sense to me.

DevonUK said:
I am not sure what to call it all now, nor what else to add here. But thank you for all the comments and private messages.
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Call it problem solved. 😁😉
 
Hello again.

Yes, I think "problem solved" is where I have got to.

She is still cucking him. The hotel thing was a bit of a one-off, but she is dating one of his friends, who sometimes stays over. I think I have probably got to the point where I see it as just part of the sexual life she has with Simon, and that has always been different from the sexual life we share.

It has made her very happy, I can tell. She has a bit of a sparkle in her eye, which reminds me of her at 21. Not that she didn't have it, but as a late 30s mum her life had a different focus over the last few years.

In other respects, it seems fairly routine now. Lots of our friends have tried cuckolding. It seems a trendy thing in our social group. We have one couple that we see for holidays once or twice a year who are a fairly long way along the cuck pathway and both love it. I know Emma would like to try some of that, but it is just not me. I guess I am pleased she can explore it safely with Simon.

She told her friends about it, on a recent break at Easter. We have always talked openly with them, but usually in a chatty, gossipy, friendly way. I have enjoyed this chats. I sort of fancy her friend, Liz, so I like hearing about what they have got up to, and always get turned on. Hearing Emma talk about being fucked in the hotel in front of Simon turned me on, which has never happened before, and I was actually very proud of her. I could also see Liz's husband, Callum, wide-eyed and very engaged with what Emma was saying.

All in all, it has settled into a pattern we can all live with.

Thanks for all the advice.
 
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Well, as I read this, I feel that you have actually been participating from the beginning too, and it seems she did not leave you out of the experience. The cuck lifestyle is not about sitting in the room with the wife. Simon might like that, but you don't have to. Many husbands prefer the wife to do it on their own. They don't watch her having sex, or even get deeply involved. Just the thought that she is doing it is enough. The key is that you feel happy for her, excited about what she is doing, and proud of her. I think that is the best part of a cuck relationship. In a way, you are already enjoying it. Glad you got into a good pattern.
 
Thank you.

I am not sure. I can see what you mean. I honestly don't know. I think it has worked out. I wasn't sure if it would.

I guess I am not sure if she is really cucking him, in the sense that she is not really cheating on him, which would mean cheating on me, too. I have wondered if that will ever happen and how I would react. I expect he would enjoy it. I am not sure how I would process it. We have never had that in our relationship.
 
DevonUK said:
Thank you.

I am not sure. I can see what you mean. I honestly don't know. I think it has worked out. I wasn't sure if it would.

I guess I am not sure if she is really cucking him, in the sense that she is not really cheating on him, which would mean cheating on me, too. I have wondered if that will ever happen and how I would react. I expect he would enjoy it. I am not sure how I would process it. We have never had that in our relationship.
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Thank you. You can read up on the cuckold lifestyle on ourhotwives. Perhaps the word puts you off. It is not the best word for it, really. They also call it the hotwife lifestyle, which puts the focus on the sexiness and confidence of the wife. It is not about cheating, but mainly about enjoying the fact that your wife has sex with/romantic feelings for other men. Often it is just ethical non-monogamy with set rules and boundaries. And often it comes with the understanding that it is only the wife who goes out to have sex/date.

The cuckold part adds on a level of humiliation, as the word suggests. Some men find humiliation arousing, so it adds to their excitement if the wife enjoys sex more with someone else, has sex mostly outside the marriage, or if they are humiliated for being inadequate in bed by the wife, etc. A smaller percentage perhaps gets excited about the thought of being cheated on, but that might be just a minority.

It is more about honest communication and embracing what you desire. Not everyone enjoys humiliation. Many men are just proud of their wives and happy that she has that sparkle in her eyes. I thought that described your situation. Hotwife is the word that we need.
 
Thank you. I have been thinking about that too, in some ways.

Looking back, I think we have been through various phases. At the start, Simon was simply a FWB, while I was her boyfriend. It was fine. We lived apart, we didn't know if it would get serious, she clearly wanted a bit more sex than a long-distance relationship allowed and, in theory, I could have done the same in London, but never did.

Then we were probably more like a throuple. I see it is called Garden-Party Poly. We were a bit more open about it. We went on few breaks together and two summer holidays. It was actually really nice. He and I get on well, and having more company on holiday made it more fun. Emma was split a little, I think. She is different on holidays with him to me (topless vs bikini, for example), but it worked out well. We had to have sex rotas and spunk rules, but I expect that all poly couples have similar.

We lost touch after that. Then, when Simon came back into our lives, it was very quickly a proper hinge sort of arrangement. There was a period at the start where it got closer to hotwife, I think. She confessed she'd like to have sex with him again. There were a couple of occasions at the start where it was nice to hear talk about that, after a long monogamous period after getting married.

I have been reflecting on the bits I liked the most. I suppose there are three parts. When we were dating, she was more naughty and open with Simon, and had a few MFM threesomes with him. I liked her telling me what she had been up to. Then, I really enjoyed the holidays. I thought that was a really fun and new way to have a relationships. Even on the nights where she was with him, and I could hear, I never felt jealous, but I also never really felt cucked. Then the third bit has been more recent, as I have seen her discover her cheeky side after motherhood and the last three or four years.

However, over the years, I found some of the more biological aspects hard. I've never really enjoyed sperm, so we needed a code word for her to tell me when she was full when we were about to have sex. We also had to navigate the baby-making within a poly relationship, which was fine, and much easier than I might have expected. But I was never 'into it,' in the way that the hotwife and cuck dynamics seem to be.

But all in all, my being proud of her sexual confidence and flirty chat has always been there.
 
nks said:
It is more about honest communication and embracing what you desire. Not everyone enjoys humiliation. Many men are just proud of their wives and happy that she has that sparkle in her eyes. I thought that described your situation. Hotwife is the word that we need.
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Poly people prefer the word "compersion" for the joy you feel because your partner is happy :)
 
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We had to have sex rotas and spunk rules, but I expect that all poly couples have similar.
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Well, not all poly couples need to deal with "spunk," if by that you mean where the semen goes. Most poly couples use condoms, at least at first. And some poly couples are lesbians.

However, I would hazard a guess that most poly people take showers in between sex with their lovers, which takes care of sperm, vaginal fluids, butt stuff, sweat, colognes, and saliva all at once. Maybe that's not true in cucking, however, where there is often a bisexual male element, where those fluids from the woman's previous sex are desired by her cucked partner.

I am not sure what you mean by "sex rotas." Who gets sex with whom, when?
 
Sorry, slightly too much biological detail.

These comments just referred to a single holiday. We had not really thought it all through before we went, but realised when we got there that we needed to work out a few details.

So, the sex rota. This was because, like on all holidays, there were various opportunities for spontaneous sex, as well as sleeping arrangements. In the first few days there were a few examples where, say, I had been for a swim and would come back to find Emma having sex or just immediately after sex. Or I would wake up from an afternoon nap and Emma would be in her bedroom with Simon, things like that. So we agreed that there would be days of the holiday where either Simon or I would be Emma's primary sexual partner for that day. There were still some awkward moments. Emma and Simon have a more spontaneous relationship than we do. But for that holiday, and the one the following year, it was easier.

Spunk was a bit more about me, really. Simon and Emma didn't care. I found it a bit ... 'icky' ... if Emma was full with Simon's spunk when we had sex or, say, if she was walking through the apartment after he had cum on her boobs. So, we developed a code word for when she was full, which she would say before sex, and leave it up to me about what I did.

These weren't massive issues. I only mention them here in passing. They were both lovely holidays and Simon and I got on really well, even on the nudist beaches, which I never thought I would go to!
 
Poly people prefer the word "compersion" for the joy you feel because your partner is happy
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This is a new word for me, but it is exactly the right word.

Emma and Simon had a short break with another couple to Portugal recently. I know that Emma had been wanting to step up the cuck side of their relationship, and I think what she did on this trip is both really sexy, really Emma, and really cuck. Although, I wouldn't like it if she did it to me, I could see how much she enjoyed the experience and can tell how much it brought to her and Simon's relationship.

It also has an innocent cuteness to it which makes it really fun, I think.

Emma and the other wife, who she has become good friends with, had tennis lessons each morning. They were with a very flirty, funny Irish coach apparently, and Emma lapped it up. As you have all probably guessed, it ended up with Emma having a bit of a fling with him and Sophie, the friend, covering for her. Clearly, Simon was told, but the other couple thought that Emma was cheating on him - the tennis coach/MILF cliché.

I don't really ask what Simon said or thought, we don't really talk like that, but I could tell that Emma was really proud and really enjoyed the holiday. Equally, I can also now tell that she loves her life back here as a quiet mum in the village where no one has any idea about this side of our lives.

One thing I can see is that there is a contrast in how I feel about her cucking Simon, which is fine, and her cheating on me, which I would find more difficult. We have talked about this and come to an understanding whereby, if she has sex with someone else with the primary objective of cucking Simon, or as part of their relationship (she had had MFM with him before), then it is not cheating on me. While this is a bit of a stretch in logic, it is something I am absolutely fine with and I don't feel that she cheated on me on that holiday.
 
Hi

I just thought I would do a very quick update.

Emma is still cucking Simon but it has settled in to a more 'traditional', I guess, model of her having her bull now. This is someone they have met through Mark's social circle and it seems to be working well.

We have also settled in to a pattern where we just have got used to Emma's relationship with Simon being different to her one with me. I suppose I still think that we are in a poly relationship and I still feel it is the right one for us. I am not sure that Simon is in a true poly relationship and they are not sure how to describe it now. I am not sure that matters, but it has been interesting to talk through.

As for Emma, she loves it, she really does. She had been curious about trying cuck for a while and can see that it is really working for her. I suppose if I had some anxieties, it would be that she has had sex with five new men since this started and I really hate to be 'that guy', but it seems a lot. Obviously, it is up to her what she does with her body and in her relationship with Simon, and I am am certainly not judgemental.

So, I guess now it is equilibrium.

Oh, I have just noticed, I got my pseudonyms muddled in my previous post. Sorry, Devon is quite sparsely populated and I am not sure how easily our real names would be identified.

Thanks for reading this far, if you still are!
 
I think a lot people might be a little worried about their partner suddenly upping their number of sex partners / engaging in more casual. STD's are a thing, and while we want to grant that freedom, it could really affect us. Good job on managing your fears.
 
I'm still reading, thanks for the update, I'm glad to hear that things are going well.
 
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