That's what I don't like about the monogamous community. I realized our values didn't align together. The monogamous community seems to hold sexist views. Men seem to like the idea of marriage because they like owning women. They might also be pressured to prove they're "real men." They slut-shame any women who have relationships outside of marriage but cheat behind their spouse's backs. As for women, they're conditioned to depend on women for money and love along with the security of their kids.And that is why polyamory is not possible without feminism. Of course women needed to be married to feel secure in the present and for their future. You don't have to go back that far, maybe to the 1950s-80s, where every woman was taught that she HAD to hook a man to be safe. Whether she loved him or not. It was about the wallet. And this was true because we were paid such low wages, we could not support ourselves financially, much less support any children we may have had. Now that we have reliable birth control, smaller families, and now that women have fought hard for more equality in jobs and wages, and made some progress there (not enough), we can feel more financially secure even if we don't "catch a man."