So I'm looking for advice, me and my husband are new to poly, I know that I am polyamorous and he still not quite sure. This is kind of a long story so bear with me. We kind of started opening up a few years ago when he came to me saying that he found a girl he really likes and he would like to pursue a relationship with her. At the time we were not open but it's always something that I wanted so I had no problem with that. He was still kind of self-conscious and not sure how he felt with me being with somebody else, so I kind of held off on meeting anybody or trying to start a relationship so he could I don't know how to say it get a head start and feel more comfortable with the situation. It ends up not working out between them that well she had another relationship that she was trying to work on so they ended up just being friends. And then we also stop trying to find other relationships because he couldn't be with her so he didn't really have much ambition to do this. They have still stayed friends for the past year and have gotten to know each other more as friends. I had somebody that I really liked that I used to work with my husband did not like him and when I brought it up that I would like to talk to him and get to know him my husband got really mad and was offended that I chose that person. So I as well just stayed friends with him as to respect my husband. Now a year later I brought it up again because I really am poly and I do want to have more relationships than just my marriage, he still doesn't understand why I want this and he seems to think that it's because he's not enough. I've tried so hard to explain to him that that's not the case and that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him like I always have. We have three amazing kids and we've built a wonderful life together that I love. But that doesn't change the fact that I am polyamorous. And it's not just something that I can stop being. When we got together I was very young I was only sixteen and he was 19 we've been together for 13 years and we have grown up together. But we have grown into just being a couple, neither of us know who we are without each other, and that just doesn't seem right to me. I love him and I love who I am with him but I know that there is more out there to learn. Anyways so I brought up opening up a relationship again and he was kind of a lot more understanding this time and he said he doesn't fully agree and he doesn't fully feel the same way but he is willing to try. Him and let's call her "L" have continued to be friends this whole time and I know that he has some kind of feelings for her, I have now started talking more relationship-wise since I brought up wanting to open our relationship. Which is totally fine with me and I have no problem with the relationship that they have or can have. I personally don't like her too much but I'm definitely the kind of person that can be mature and get over that if she makes him happy. Now the part I'm having trouble with is the person that I want to see is the person that he does not like. When I brought up wanting to start to get to know him my husband got very mad and offended again that that's the person that I chose. And I understand that he doesn't like him but the reason he doesn't like him is also very silly to me. We used to all work together and there was one time when this guy ended up calling into and we had to figure out how to have one of us go in to cover for him. And mind you this was three years ago. I'm personally I just feel like that is a silly Grudge to hold over somebody when that's the only problem you have. After my husband stopped working with us me and my friend.. let's call him "B" still work together for about 2 years and of course working together constantly we have become pretty good friends so I've gotten to know him and I know that he's not a bad person but my husband just doesn't understand that. It makes me kind of feel like my husband just doesn't like him just because I liked him. So in my eyes it's kind of like we're in the same situation but for some reason to him I'm in the wrong and he's fine. It seems the same to me because he met L at work and I met B at work. They're both somebody that we knew from work. They are both somebody that we have previously brought up in this situation. They're both somebody that neither of us really like. They're both completely outside of our friend circles. But he tells me that I'm wrong because he didn't like him before we opened our relationship and I don't like her because of the way she treated him the first time we opened our relationship, so it was after. Now I have no problem with him seeing her, and like I told him if their relationship does get serious I have no problem welcoming her into our lives. But he has flat out told me I can not see B as more than a friend and if I were too that he will never speak to me again. So I'm just having trouble understanding how I am so wrong in this. He is so mad that I mentioned "B" this time we we opened up...again. He keeps saying how I wanted to do all this just because of B. But that is not true. I am poly and I want to be open regardless because that just what I believe in. But I can't lie and say I'm not extremely sad that he feels this way. And I would really love to talk to B as more than a friend...but not at the sake of my marriage. I kind of just feel like it's not fair and I feel like a child who isn't getting what they want. But I can't help but be so sad over it. And I feel like it's something I would do for him but he can't do it for me and that hurts as well. Am I wrong to feel like he very well could give B a second chance ? Honestly they would probably get along well if he put his grudge aside 
