Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

I’m having a good time in Arizona with MisterMoonbeam.

Some highlights: we walked along Roosevelt Row in downtown Phoenix and enjoyed seeing a ton of gorgeous murals there;



I spent a morning all by myself at a ginormous rock shop with acreage out back with just about a million stones for sale. I bought a bunch, including this fossilized clam, which is as large as my fist;



We played a Jurassic Park shooter game together in an arcade and I won MisterMoonbeam a stuffed pink octopus from a claw machine! We also went and saw the movie Nope at an IMAX theater. It was amazing, considering I don’t watch horror movies or anything to do with aliens. I am looking forward to watching it with DarkKnight when I get back home;



I took about a million photos at the Desert Botanical Garden - I didn’t know that many cacti and succulents existed in the world. I would absolutely have a membership here if I lived nearby;




We did a dragon-themed escape room and kicked its ass.



I am going to the Heard Museum today, and maybe the Phoenix Art Museum tonight. MisterMoonbeam has had a lot of success with his job, so he’s happy the trip has paid off. Today is his last day of work, and then we are headed to Tucson for the next 4 days (our plane ride back home to Maryland is Monday night).

This weekend we have tentative plans to either go pan gold at a ghost town or visit the Lowell Observatory on Friday, and then spend quality time with his daughter-in-law and granddaughter Saturday and Sunday.

My period is due today but it hasn’t shown up yet. I’ve got massive cramping this morning and it sucks. I hope it shows up soon because I don’t want to be dealing with it when I head to the Outer Banks next weekend with SirGawain!

 

[Bluebird]

Oh! I also wanted to mention that I surprised DarkKnight with THREE different live theater performances next year! Facebook sent me a targeted ad from the Kennedy Center, so I bought us tickets to see Les Miserables, The Lion King and Moulin Rouge. We have already started talking about him getting those days off of work (they’re all Friday night shows in DC) and getting a place overnight. This will be super cool to do together, and they’re spaced throughout the year - April, June and September. I am super excited to see these with him, and he says this sort of souvenir from Arizona is better than a keychain or fridge magnet. Lol

 

[Bluebird]

We leave Arizona tomorrow, but things are still busy here now that MisterMoonbeam and I have moved our home base to Tucson. We spent Friday at a ghost town and gold mine, and we had an old timey picture taken! I had never done anything like this before and it was super fun. MisterMoonbeam paid for us to go on an open-air train ride into the desert too, so that was a good time too.




We spent yesterday with his daughter-in-law and his little granddaughter. Gosh I love them both so much! We took them to the Children’s Museum and then had street tacos for lunch, followed by a trip to the Screamery for ice cream. We are meeting up again with them today to go to Build A Bear. I think I am going to get a stuffie as well as the granddaughter. Lol

 

[Bluebird]

Things were being wonky in my last post so I am continuing here. I made an appointment for this coming Friday afternoon to get my hair fixed up. I am soooo tired of the blonde. It’s only this way because I had to get the teal out of it for the wedding we went to in Texas. I’m going to get it toned back to my natural gray!

My week next week is booked up - DarkKnight is getting out of work early on Tuesday because he wants to see Nope with me. I already saw it with MisterMoonbeam but I really liked it so I am happy to watch it again! It will be a nice date night together.

Wednesday I am going axe throwing with the new dude, OldSchool. I got the tickets for that yesterday. He has looked at several rental properties and is hoping something comes through soon. He’s been texting me every day, which I appreciate.

Right now I am actually in my hotel room and I’m going to pack my bag. I think I may have to buy a second suitcase, to be honest. Hopefully I can cram everything in but it’s better to find out now than tomorrow morning right before we go to the airport!

 

[Bluebird]

Got my period. Sigh. Almost a full week late. I hope it gets outta here quickly so I don’t have to worry about it in the Outer Banks this weekend!

 

[Bluebird]

Had a great night out with DarkKnight yesterday evening!

 

[Bluebird]

I had a date yesterday - my second date - with OldSchool. He was upbeat in that he has found a place to rent and he’s now in the process of getting that move done. We both wanted to see each other earlier, so we split dinner at a Mexican place near where we were throwing axes later. The date was nice - we chatted a lot and I am getting quite okay at axes and beat him overall!

I don’t think I will be seeing him again, unfortunately. His divorce is supposed to be final next week, but apparently his ex wife is making noises about maybe going to therapy and working things out. She would want to be monogamous. He said he’s having dinner with her tonight and they’re going to talk.

I’m okay with this, as though I like him lots, an additional big bearded dude is not really where I need to be spending my time right now! Funny enough, MinnieMouse sent me a text yesterday, saying she didn’t realize she was missing me so much…sigh. I don’t know.

And then later in the evening, OldSchool texted me and made comments about going to a Fet event together in September! I feel like he’s wanting to keep me as an option if things don’t work out with the ex now.

I’m kinda okay with any scenario, to be honest. I’m not heavily invested at this point, no NRE, but I do like him. So I guess we will see. I’m not mooning around waiting - especially since I am leaving Saturday for the Outer Banks with SirGawain. Things will be decided with the divorce before I get back from my trip, and things will either be on or off.



I was really feeling my outfit yesterday - the dress is new from Stitch Fix. I don’t often wear all black, so I was a little self-conscious about it, but I felt I looked good. MisterMoonbeam made me feel very out of sorts about it in the morning though; he smiled at me in a mocking way and was chuckling at it. We had a discussion about how that made me feel. I was actually upset most of the day - at myself for letting what seemed like him making fun of me effect me so much. Pretty sure a lot of my feels were because of my period. It bothered me, but my other partners were positive and BugGirl told me that she thought it was one of her favorite outfits on me! I trust BugGirl, because both of my daughters are vocal when they think I look ridiculous. Lol

Anyway, MisterMoombeam and I talked about it last night, and he said honestly he really liked the knee socks but at the same time he felt like a creeper saying that because he was flashing back to his religious programming. I tried to understand, but the damage was kinda done and over with at that point. I told him I definitely don’t expect compliments all the time (fuck no!) but the way he initially responded to me made me feel really down and mocked by him and it almost made me change my outfit for the day because I was then all uncertain.

 

[Bluebird]

Feeling all sorts of out of sorts today. I had a rough evening with nightmares waking me up, and then my period is crazy heavy today. So I am tired and crampy and dehydrated. I’m in my feels over NOTHING.

I decided to shower and now I’m dressed and I started some laundry. Instead of helping, now I’m shaky and hungry. I ordered from Pizza & Pretzel Creations, so hopefully that arrives soon.

I haven’t packed a single thing for my vacation with SirGawain, and we leave tomorrow. Half my stuff from my trip to Arizona isn’t even unpacked. The laundry for that is done, at least.

My plan after I eat is to clear and dust off my living room rock shelves, so I can add the new pieces I purchased to the mix. That will help empty two of my bags, so yay! Also, things will look nice. Lol

My hair appointment is at 3 pm and hopefully ai will be able to get rid of this blonde!

I think I am going to try and squeeze in my STD testing today but I suppose it can wait if I don’t get it done. I’m not banging anyone new at the moment. OldSchool told me last night that he and his ex are proceeding with the divorce. Though this morning he told me he doesn’t know if they plan to try and rekindle anything or not. He said he believes the plan is to just stay friends and coparent their kids.

I’m like, okay? Previously I was just like, no worries, we will see where it shakes out. This morning though, it kinda hit me like here I am, waiting to see if I am going to get dumped for a monogamous chick once again. It’s not a good feeling, even if it’s only been 2 dates. Regardless of my time invested - which really isn’t much - I am starting to feel not so great. Which I suppose is to be expected.

Sigh.

 

[Bluebird]

Got my hair did!

 

[JaneQSmythe]

I had a date yesterday - my second date - with OldSchool. He was upbeat in that he has found a place to rent and he’s now in the process of getting that move done. We both wanted to see each other earlier, so we split dinner at a Mexican place near where we were throwing axes later. The date was nice - we chatted a lot and I am getting quite okay at axes and beat him overall!

I don’t think I will be seeing him again, unfortunately. His divorce is supposed to be final next week, but apparently his ex wife is making noises about maybe going to therapy and working things out. She would want to be monogamous. He said he’s having dinner with her tonight and they’re going to talk.

I’m okay with this, as though I like him lots, an additional big bearded dude is not really where I need to be spending my time right now! Funny enough, MinnieMouse sent me a text yesterday, saying she didn’t realize she was missing me so much…sigh. I don’t know.

And then later in the evening, OldSchool texted me and made comments about going to a Fet event together in September! I feel like he’s wanting to keep me as an option if things don’t work out with the ex now.

I’m kinda okay with any scenario, to be honest. I’m not heavily invested at this point, no NRE, but I do like him. So I guess we will see. I’m not mooning around waiting - especially since I am leaving Saturday for the Outer Banks with SirGawain. Things will be decided with the divorce before I get back from my trip, and things will either be on or off.

View attachment 3899

I was really feeling my outfit yesterday - the dress is new from Stitch Fix. I don’t often wear all black, so I was a little self-conscious about it, but I felt I looked good. MisterMoonbeam made me feel very out of sorts about it in the morning though; he smiled at me in a mocking way and was chuckling at it. We had a discussion about how that made me feel. I was actually upset most of the day - at myself for letting what seemed like him making fun of me effect me so much. Pretty sure a lot of my feels were because of my period. It bothered me, but my other partners were positive and BugGirl told me that she thought it was one of her favorite outfits on me! I trust BugGirl, because both of my daughters are vocal when they think I look ridiculous. Lol

Anyway, MisterMoombeam and I talked about it last night, and he said honestly he really liked the knee socks but at the same time he felt like a creeper saying that because he was flashing back to his religious programming. I tried to understand, but the damage was kinda done and over with at that point. I told him I definitely don’t expect compliments all the time (fuck no!) but the way he initially responded to me made me feel really down and mocked by him and it almost made me change my outfit for the day because I was then all uncertain.

You are rockin' that outfit!

 

[Bluebird]

Thanks!!

On the way to Colonial Williamsburg! SirGawain & I are going to stay there overnight and during part of the day on Sunday. We can’t check into our beach house in the Outer Banks until 6 pm Sunday, so we figure we’ll have fun elsewhere before heading to Hatteras.

Here’s a screenshot of our place - we are sharing the property with his family. It’s right on the beach and has an elevator and a hot tub. It’s going to be a blast!



Oh, and I figured since I mentioned it, here are my living room shelves.

 

[Bluebird]

I’m having a good time in the Outer Banks! When I stayed here last October with MisterMoonbeam, we were in Rodanthe, but for this week, SirGawain & I are in Hatteras.

Unfortunately, SirGawain fell on a step this morning and twisted his ankle on one leg, and skinned up & banged his knee up on the other. He’s okay though, just taking it easy. And, well, we are on vacation so it’s fairly simple to rest. He’s still smiling!

Today we went to the end point of the islands and his uncle took us in his 4-wheel-drive truck where you can actually drive on the beach with a permit. It was very bouncy - and beautiful once we stopped and set up the canopy and chairs along the water.

Here’s a couple of photos of our beach house too! It’s not exactly on the water, but it’s a super short walk.




That last photo is from the highest deck on the property. It’s so peaceful to sit out there and feel the wind - I’ve been out there every day!

I’ve been calling and talking to my nesting partners every evening. I do miss them - just as I missed SirGawain and DarkKnight when I was in Arizona. It’s fun being off on an adventure, but I definitely miss those not with me on the trip! Tonight MisterMoonbeam was at SirGawain’s house, changing litter and feeding the cats there. It’s so awesome that my polycule takes care of each other. DarkKnight will be there again helping out on Thursday.

Speaking of DarkKnight, his final run playing in Clue is this coming weekend. All shows are either sold out or close to being so. I’m so happy for him. He’s playing Mr. Body as well as the rest of the male ensemble characters! Almost all of them die so it wasn’t difficult for him to have a bunch of different roles. I’m going to see him Sunday afternoon, and I guess OldSchool will be coming along too.

OldSchool’s divorce was final Monday, and he says he isn’t pursuing anything romantically with his ex. We need to talk more about what’s up between us, but that will wait til in person. I’m interested in seeing him again, for sure.

Today when I was talking with DarkKnight, I let him know that I’m bringing OldSchool along on Sunday and he was fine with it. I also got DarkKnight on the Google calendar to finally schedule our trip to Pittsburg! We bought tickets last February to the zoo there and never went! He told me he’d like to stay overnight and make a weekend of it so that is happening on the 27th-28th. Yay!

Oh god my calendar is fucking crazy. MisterMoonbeam is being sent back to Arizona for his job again, so I also have a plane ticket to travel with him, Sept 5-9. He bought that yesterday for me, with my card. He was trying to coordinate his work purchase with mine, but it didn’t get timed right and our seats are apart. The flight isn’t full so he was supposed to get that worked out but I forgot to ask about it til just now.

Also, holy shit - SirGawain reserved us a weekend getaway (yes while we are already on a getaway), for Valentine’s next year. We are staying in a castle and playing a hosted thematic D&D campaign! It’s like a three day event and all food and drinks are included. I was absolutely shocked when he showed it to me - he wanted to buy it for my birthday in September but there were no dates matched up. As much as I wanted to do it sooner, the Valentine’s weekend just made sense. I’m really looking forward to it! It’s real close to where we live so it won’t be difficult getting there. Lol

 

[Bluebird]

Still having a good time in the Outer Banks. I am starting to feel anxious because my to do list when I get home is continually growing! I still have yet to get my STD testing done so I plan to do that first thing Monday. And there is SO MUCH to do with my nonprofits and real estate search. Omg.



I don’t want to think about that now though. I am fresh out of the shower after another relaxing day at the beach, and I need to keep that calmness for now.

 

[Magdlyn]

With the table all set like that, do you just move down one when it's time for the next meal, like Alice and the Mad Hatter?

 

[Bluebird]

With the table all set like that, do you just move down one when it's time for the next meal, like Alice and the Mad Hatter?

Lol We most definitely had to reset the table and wash dishes each day.

 

[Bluebird]

I believe things to be really over with OldSchool. He messaged me everyday last week while I was on vacay with SirGawain, saying that he wanted a relationship. Then this morning he texted saying he forgot about the theater today but he guessed he could make it work in his schedule. I’m like, uh what? It felt pretty shitty to have him say he forgot? What the fuck was he messaging me for then? Anyway, I told him if he didn’t want to go, then to please let me know because I didn’t want to waste the tickets. He responded with thanks for the invite but he’d skip it.

So yeah, no explanation, just silence out of nowhere. I wish I did have an answer as to what was up, but I honestly wasn’t too broken up about it. I had already emotionally sort of pulled back and it was literally two dates.

SirGawain actually drove out and attended instead, which shocked the hell out of me. It was really out of character! Before going on vacation, I really got the feeling he was over my bullshit - I didn’t see him for so long since I was out of town and then got Covid. And then out of town again.

I really felt for a while that our relationship had run its course, and I was hoping that the trip would revive things. And until today, every single day while in the Outer Banks, I would have had a different answer if asked if we were going to break up.

He’s just so unreadable. One minute he’s making reservations for $1000+ getaways for us, and the next he won’t hold my hand in the car. I’m not sure what to think half the time. I feel insecure with reaching out and communicating my own needs.

Like, I think he had issues with me being there with him 24-7, as he’s not used to having a nesting partner. I think his ex really fucked him up with feeling safe to ask for what he needs. And because he’s so weird, I feel weird. It’s not healthy. It’s confusing.

When he asked on the phone if I was calling to ask him to go to the play this afternoon, I was VERY out of sorts. I was like, what? I most definitely not calling to ask that, because he never would have said yes. But he was like, of course I want to see you. So that was really shocking, and very exciting too. It was like this huge jolt of energy hit me and I’m like, wow.

I’m happy that things fell apart with OldSchool, if this means I get to figure out stuff with SirGawain. When we are good, we are very good. I don’t know where he and I are heading, but I do know I want to be there together with him.

 

[Bluebird]

Today I planned to be closed, so I could reorient myself to my house! I feel like I’ve not been here and PRESENT in so long.

I started the morning by reserving a hotel for this weekend. DarkKnight and I are going to Pittsburgh - finally - to use our tickets to the zoo and aquarium. Initially I was excited to also get tickets to the aviary and hold a sloth, but those are all sold out and nothing else really got me pumped up. But apparently the zoo is having an Asian lantern festival in the evening, so we decided to do that instead. So now we have tickets for everything and the hotel is all set. The original tickets we bought back for Valentine’s, but then he got sick.

DarkKnight is friends with a bunch of theater people in town and he got us free tickets for a show on Friday night for a cabaret. So we are going to do that - I guess it’s actors from a local production of Legally Blonde? Yeah, so that’s Friday night, and then we take off for Pittsburgh on Saturday morning and stay overnight there.

Anyway, I got the weekend nailed down, and I paid some bills. I connected with an agent we are going to be using as a realtor now but she doesn’t have anything new to show us. I’m like gah! I wanted to do some more paperwork and planning but I’m out of time today on that.

I went and spent $250 on groceries to refill the Blessing Box fridge and freezer, and some nonperishables too, but it barely made a dent in what is needed. I put up a post and some donors did buy a few things on our wish list, so we should be okay this week. I reached out to my bread guy too, and another donor promised to bring me spaghetti. I have shelves full of special requests that came in, and I have contacted everyone to get that stuff picked up by the people who need it tomorrow or so.

Tonight MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight are going to go and look at some new living room furniture with me. I hate what we have - we got the couch when we bought the house, and the recliner is almost as old. So 6 years ish? When I went out to pick up lunch today, I stopped at a store close by and the small sectional I liked was available for delivery on Friday. So hopefully these guys like it too and we can have something new here!

 

[Bluebird]

We bought a new side chair and a small sectional with a chaise. I actually had issues while at the furniture store, as MisterMoonbeam was sitting on the couch while DarkKnight and I were one aisle over. A salesperson approached MisterMoonbeam and asked him if he was “the husband” and he immediately said no, he was just a guy in the house.

This struck me and I was instantly emotional about it. (Not outwardly.) When the salesperson came around the corner and said that “the other guy” liked the furniture, I said, yeah, that’s my boyfriend.

MisterMoonbeam told me later he felt stupid and tongue-tied the moment he was asked, and definitely did more so afterward, when I said he was my boyfriend. We had a discussion about it last night, and he talked about how in his marriage, he “got in trouble” a lot for saying too much, and he just immediately defaulted to being vague.

It still sucked, and he said he is still taking things that were true with his late wife and applying them to our relationship, which he knows is wrong. Because he doesn’t like it when I try to apply things that happened in my past relationships to the present. So yeah, he’s still working on it.

The entire thing made me feel not good. But I feel a little better as we talked it out.

Anyway, I am having the old furniture picked up for disposal on Wednesday night, and the new stuff is being delivered Friday.

 

[Bluebird]

I am being a lump today, and have been binge watching episodes of Glow Up. I did get dressed and put my hair in pigtails, but I’m not feeling motivated to do much. Our old furniture is being picked up tonight, but we did get a call that our new stuff will be here on Friday morning!

The news right now is that the president is forgiving $10,000 in student loan debt. I haven’t seen the details, but I seriously want to cry because I’m like 90% sure it won’t apply to me. I’ve been carrying the same $13,000 debt since 1998. There was a period when I got it down to $9,000 but I am pretty sure it’s back up. I don’t know, because my repayment has been on hold for so long! Anyway, I consolidated just as soon as I could and I think that means I’m ineligible for forgiveness.

There were a few years where all DarkKnight and I did was throw money at his loans. For a while his parents were making him pay on his Parent Plus loans as well, and he had a combined total of over $100,000 in student loans because he went to Drexel. Then they refinanced their house, and paid their portion off in full. That helped bunches, but we still threw tons of money to make the remainder go away. So his student loans are paid off completely.

MisterMoonbeam makes too much to qualify under this forgiveness plan, unfortunately.

So I’m pretty sure none of us will benefit. My kids - I think none of them have student loans. I was really proactive in helping them with that. If anything, my youngest had like $1000 and BugGirl had one or two semesters without the GI Bill helping her. I will definitely ask them.

Anyway, I don’t care. I mean, I wish it would help me, and mine, but I am glad it will help others. I don’t think it’s a “slap in the face” to people who worked to pay their own loans off previously. That sort of “I suffered so you should suffer too” is just bullshit.

 

[Bluebird]

I must be on an upswing again because I am crazy horny all the time. Both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam took advantage of that this week! I am looking forward to going to the Playhouse in September, but as always, it looks like my period is not going to cooperate - I’m due the week that we’re planning to go. MisterMoonbeam told me last night that he’ll tie me to the paddling bench and beat my butt with the thuddy regardless, so yay!

I feel like this week has been flying by. I haven’t been able to see my bestie, but we’ve been chatting every day. She was in Orlando with her boyfriend when I was in the Outer Banks with SirGawain. I canceled on her last night because I just needed to do nothing! We have tentative plans for her to pick up MisterMoonbeam & me when we return from Arizona, and her & her guy are going to share a hotel room with us when we go to the Playhouse. I am not sure we’d be able to attend otherwise - with traffic and all, if DarkKnight picked us up, we’d take too much time to drive him home and head back. We need to figure out all of the logistics but it should work out.