Yay! I am so glad people are finding my posts helpful.
I am up early today, in spite of not going to bed until 1 am. I had trivia last night, and it was our Halloween costume get-together. My team went as elements from the periodic table, which was my suggestion, since I taught Chemistry last year and we are all huge nerds. Anyway, it was bunches of fun being helium. I dressed in all blue and white and had 5 helium balloons tied up over my head. Other members of my team were Americium (dressed as Captain America), Berkelium (dressed as a hippie), Silver (all silver-colored clothes & hair), Aluminum (foil hat & accessories), Neon (bright obnoxious clothing) and Sodium (salt packets attached all over their outfit).
After I got home, PunkRock and I spent a few hours online and watched all 4 episodes of Charlie the Unicorn because he had never seen it. Now we can't stop making the stupid little tongue noise from episode 2 at each other. My daughter's cat Stuart keeps giving us a stare down when we do it. He is not amused. PunkRock just left for work, and that is prolly a good thing. lol
Today on my to-do list involves printing out advance directive forms for Darknight, PunkRock and myself. Apparently each state has different laws regarding on how these things should work. I live in Maryland, so I am talking about Maryland stuff here. I think most states are similar, but this is what my state does! Here, there is one form that they provide that combines medical power of attorney and the living will. We don't need a lawyer to make it legal, so that is a plus.
So, basically a medical power of attorney is a document that names someone to be your health care proxy if you are unable to make decisions on your own in the hospital, nursing home or where ever. This person is your agent and can decide whether to pull the plug or give you a feeding tube, among other things. You can name alternates if the first person isn't available. They will be able to visit you in the hospital, and travel in an ambulance with you, if they'd like.
I am thinking that DarkKnight and I will both name PunkRock as our health care proxy because more than likely, each of us will already be able to have access to the other in a hospital, since we are legally married. PunkRock is the one who could potentially be barred from visitations, etc. and naming him our decision maker will give him access to us that he wouldn't otherwise be able to get, if we were in ICU or someplace fairly restricted. DarkKnight will be the alternate on mine, and then my oldest daughter - just in case all 3 of us get into comas in a car crash or something.
So that's medical power of attorney. The second part of the document is called the living will. This is where you agree to whatever procedures you want your agent to carry out. I want to be given blood transfusions; I want to be on a breathing machine for X number of days - that sort of thing. The agent can override this part of the document, but it gives them a written framework of what you wanted initially. Because, you know, things happen and maybe you would have wanted a feeding tube but then you were declared legally brain dead, and your agent would know that you didn't want that tube forever, keeping your husk alive indefinitely.
I'm not filling the forms out today, but I am printing them for discussion at a later date. Maybe we can find time this weekend to sit down and work it out. It's definitely important. It's one way that I can guarantee that PunkRock gets rights that the state would ordinarily just reserve for DarkKnight, as my legal husband. I like to think it's a big "fuck you" and a viable work around for our poly selves.
Oh, and if you decide to change your mind at a later date - at any time, like because of a breakup or whatever - you can make the original document void my making a new one and dating it with the new date. It's that easy.