Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

The last couple of days have been really good. I feel very supported and loved by both DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam. We had some good talks, separately. Last night I was a little down and sad, but both guys brought me back up with words and smiles. I think that whenever I have long term planning going on right now, I can’t help but think of PunkRock and our goals. What made me sad though, was again, I was just thinking of the word family and what it means. How we were a family and then suddenly we weren’t anymore. It fucking wrecks me when my brain focuses on how disposable I was to someone who I thought the world of and felt entangled with on a subatomic level.

Moving forward though. Moving forward.

Today should be busy. I have the Box opening up after being closed all weekend, so it’s super empty. I have a church bringing over produce - the last two times they’ve donated, it’s been 50-80 big boxes of it. I don’t have a volunteer today, so it will be me stuck outside with it all. It will move fast though, and will help a lot of neighbors. I need to plan a meat giveaway for the end of the week as well, and post about air conditioners. I started the season with 35 people on my waiting list for AC units (I actually closed it down and would have had double that - easily) but now I have all of those filled and only have 8 people left! How amazing is that?

I need to shower this morning and visit with my foster kittens. Litter needs scooped. Oh! We started on a low carb diet today so I need to start tracking my numbers. I made DarkKnight’s lunch yesterday evening and will be throwing together lunch for MisterMoonbeam and I today as well. I’ve got a bunch of phone calls to make today too. Ugh. Imma stay in bed until 9:30, I think.
 
The last few days have been really good. I feel really in love with MisterMoonbeam - like, my NRE has been rejolted awake. There’s a good emotional connection, and our communication is also solid. He’s just so snuggly and he makes me super happy just by existing. Squeeee! He’s not feeling well today though.

We all started a low carb diet yesterday and I am motivated. I’ve gained 14 pounds since the split with PunkRock and I am tired of those pounds! The food I have been eating is yummy and I hope the guys enjoy the menu I’ve put together for the next couple of weeks. They helped set it up, so we will see!

DarkKnight and I are doing amazing as well - he’s got Acts of Service as his love language, so he really loves it when I make his lunch each evening. I actually love it too - I like thinking about what he might like and how he gets all smiley and happy about it. We have been talking more about our plans for the future and I can’t wait to get our getaway booked - I am planning to do that today!
 
I still lurk here sometimes (hi!!) and re: the Reddit post thing, I no longer remember the details because it was like 2 or almost 3 years ago at this point, but I remember someone I am friendly with on here came to my thread with a similar thing: they'd read out in the wild somewhere a post that the reader thought was suspiciously similar to some drama in my life, alerting me to it.

And there was no way it could have actually been the person it was suspected to be because too many of the specific details given didn't match, which an outsider couldn't have known. I shrugged and assumed maybe I had a drama-döppelganger out there somewhere in the world. But maybe there's just some bored person who lazily steals post-plot ideas from the most hit blog threads on the forums, haha.
 
Oh wow - so that happened to you too?! Crazy.
 
Started out the day feeling depressed. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I still haven’t been able to book my July vacation, and it’s bringing me way down. Every place I found, didn’t work for one reason or another. It’s bringing me stress, which is silly - like, I have the money and I have the time. Why is this making me crazy?!

BugGirl came over and got some cleaning done, and talking to her brought me up a bit. She has the opportunity to start a new job using her architecture degree, so she was buzzing about that. It makes me happy that she’s going to take an opportunity to use her skills. She’s making bank at the warehouse job, but she’s so much more than that, and she’s still young. I support her taking the risk.

I also finally made an appointment for Saturday to get my hair cut and colored. Not sure if I am going to go all white or keep it red. I feel like this may be my chance to see what I look like all white. I’m already halfway there! Lol
 
My youngest is gone on vacation for the week, and we’re taking care of her cats while she is out making memories with her boyfriend. Tonight MisterMoonbeam and I will be headed to her apartment to feed the kitties and empty their litter box. I will go over on Saturday too, with DarkKnight, after our haircuts.

I’m still trying to figure out whether to recolor my red, or strip it out and let my white take over. My hair is definitely getting chopped off, and a good portion is white due to the lapse in services due to Covid. I kinda feel like this might be a good time to see how it looks all white. However, I don’t wanna look like a grandmother! Mulling it over...
 
Decision was made last night to split my weeklong getaway into two parts. Since I waited too long to make reservations, it’s just not going to happen - and I don’t wanna spend cash on a place that doesn’t make me happy. I NEED. a mental health break.

The plan is to book a trip to Rocky Gap next weekend with MisterMoonbeam. Thursday-Sunday. There’s a lake with kayaking, canoeing and fishing, hiking trails and a casino. We will have a nice Mountain View room to relax and play board games in - and it’s close to home, so we don’t have to worry about a long drive! I am excited!!

Tonight DarkKnight and I are going to plan an August midweek getaway for the two of us. I’m not sure where we will be headed, but there are a lot more options available right now for August.
 
The Rocky Gap Getaway is a go. It ended up costing more than I expected, but MisterMoonbeam and I split the total so it wasn’t terrible. We are in a standard room Thursday night and then we upgraded to a Mountain View suite the rest of the weekend at the resort. I am super excited to go and relax, to reset and have fun!

I am thinking really hard this morning about my hair appointment tomorrow. I am now committed in my head to going natural and seeing how my white comes out. I honestly am happy at the thought of it! I don’t at all like the half and half I have now with it growing out through lack of care for it during Corona, but I am really interested to see how it will shape up tomorrow! I am looking at long-on-top pixie cuts, purple shampoos and I’ve joined a “silver sisters” Facebook group, so I feel encouraged. If I end up hating my natural color, I can always slap the red back on the next time I go to get my hair done. I’m feeling really good at the moment though.

Today should be busy with the Blessing Box. It’s Friday so that means fresh fruit and veggies, and I did the shopping for that last night. I’m still struggling with getting everything straightened up in the overflow space, but this morning I am motivated to organize. I had a volunteer in yesterday so it’s not looking too terrible. My wait list is down to THREE requests for air conditioners! I am so super happy about that! 3 left from 35! My meal giveaway is almost fully funded, so I am hoping to do that on Monday/Tuesday of next week.

DarkKnight & I didn’t talk much last night about our August trip so we need to still connect on that. I’m not worried - it will definitely happen!
 
I went with my natural hair color and I love it (also went with a Pixie cut - damn the haters)! I figure once it goes completely white/silver, I may mix it up with some purple or something and be THAT lady. Lol. Definitely go for it! :D

And heck, if / when this COVID thing ever lifts, I have an extra A/C that I'm happy to part with.
 
Coolness! I'm going to post a photo if it doesn't look too terrible, after I get it chopped. lol I'm going back and forth on the pixie cut, but I do know what I have going on right now isn't working for me!

Here’s my hair, back in March.

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And here I am, last week.

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Ugh, you can see my weight gain as well as my hair growth! Lol Oh well, I’m working on both now.

My mom just called to tell me my uncle died. He had cancer, so it's not a huge surprise. It still is a little bit of a shock. We weren't close or anything, but he's still a part of my history, you know? He was always just there at family gatherings, and he and my aunt stayed over at my house a couple of times in the past.
 
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Soooo I got my hair chopped off today! 5 months of Corona growth - gone. I talked with my stylist and she recommended I not do anything to the red dye still remaining in my hair, as she thinks in a couple of more trims it should be all gone.

I’m absolutely loving that the red looks like highlights! It turns out my white in the front is not the same as the steely gray in the back - I got it shaved close to the scalp and it most definitely is different. She did say that she felt my white was “pure” and that she didn’t think any purple shampoos were necessary, because I’m so far not trending yellowish at all.

Oh, and it’s a relief to have my eyebrows done again finally. I’m no longer looking like Sasquatch. 😆

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MisterMoonbeam got his eyebrows done - and his hair is cut short and spiky now. LOVING it. I’m typing this from the car as DarkKnight gets his done so we will see how his curly hair looks when he’s all finished!
 
That cut really works, Bluebird! The two tone look is fun!
 
Thanks! I’m okay with it for now. :) My goal is to have it be totally natural in a couple of months with all of the red gone.
 
Holy shit the heat has been unbearable! Just running to the grocery store is exhausting and disgusting. I am getting ready for the week and I am worried about being able to function when the temps are at or above 100 degrees! The new haircut will help though, I bet. At least a little! I am loving it more today, even though sometimes I feel like my head is shaped like a q-tip now.
 
Okay, so the short hair majorly helps with the heat. Yay! However, it was seriously horrific outside today. I am busted tonight after today.

I bagged up all of the dinner ingredients this morning and then signed up 46 people for my meal giveaway. I passed out 20 total after the drawing, as that’s what I had. I shilled for more air conditioners and got one funded, but unfortunately we couldn’t find any for sale in Hagerstown tonight. I hope places restock quickly! I have a single person left on my request list for the summer - so I have helped out 34 families so far with AC units. I decided to open up the waiting list again, and I now have another 20 requests. Crazy. No way that is happening, but I will definitely try my hardest! I have an elderly gentleman - a brittle diabetic amputee - who needs a portable unit. I want to cry because they are so expensive and it’s going to be a battle to get it funded. I did have two other requests for portables though, and they were funded and those individuals are set now, so maybe it will happen. I have so many elderly on my lists.

What else today? I found a home for a sectional couch, and gave two different people complete bedding sets. One was a little boy around age 10 who has been bullied a lot recently, and his mom said the brand new comforter set made him so incredibly happy! She sent me pictures, and his smile outshone the sun - which today was truly an incredible thing! His whole family actually walked a mile in this heat to pick it up, and they were so gracious and excited. I mean, mom, dad, the boy and his brother - everyone came to get it. So awesome!

I had my regular diaper requests and people just visiting the Box for bread, spaghetti, etc. I tried as hard as I could to keep the mini fridge full of water. Ive got plenty of donations of water bottles, but I have to keep running in and out to keep the fridge full. I definitely saw several homeless today that took nothing but water.

I love that I get to do this. MisterMoonbeam told me tonight that he was sorry when I said I was so tired. I told him no, it’s not something to be sorry about! I am so lucky to be able to devote my time to making my town a better place to live!
 
I’ve been up and down all day, and it’s barely 2 pm. I woke up early, masturbated and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 9:30 after a super cool dream involving my NY bestie and I having a competition to win a country estate, and I won. MisterMoonbeam & I then spent the rest of the dream decorating and planning out which wing he would use for his dating life, and which wing I would use for my dating life. I awoke excited!

Soon afterward though, I was on Facebook and my memories were all of PunkRock. Apparently he deleted a lot of them, because a few had “cannot be displayed” messages. I went ahead and hid those. It made me really depressed and I cried a little. My history is being erased. I decided to get up and shower, hoping that would help me reset.

Unfortunately, after showering, it was all go and no quit with the Blessing Box. I posted about the elderly amputee yesterday, and the portable AC unit that was needed. Well, I had several responses that I had to handle - all good. Someone drove over from Shepherdstown with 2 regular AC units, and those are now in my overflow room, awaiting pickup. I had someone else go to their storage unit and pull out a portable, and they are promising to bring it to me tonight. Someone else donated $400 to my PayPal. And the person who first brought this gentleman to my attention set up a private GoFundMe me - and she too, raised $400. So this guy is set! I let my big donor know that I would be using the funds to purchase other ACs and she was fine with that, thank goodness. Hopefully we can find some later today for sale in town! I have $560 to use toward air conditioners!

I also had some bedding for a little 3 year old boy dropped off - he requested Toy Story for his toddler bed. :) His mom will be coming later today to pick it up.

I am starting to move my board games down to the basement also. Right now the overflow room has a closet where they are all stored and I feel it’s finally time to take that space over and use it for Blessing Box storage. Now that PunkRock isn’t here to use the studio space in the basement, we are going to change half of it into an actual game room. I am really excited about the transition. We had thought about using the foster kitten room for this purpose but it’s been so crazy hot lately, we decided that we’d rather retreat to the ice cold basement to play games!
 
So we bought a table tonight! I knew I didn’t want an actual gaming table, funny enough. I’ve used a few at friends’ houses and I just don’t like the lip on the edge - no matter how wide and pretty it is! I know they’re built with the idea that being recessed means that the dice don’t fall off the table edge, and some you can even cover up the board game and go back to using the table. But that’s a no from me. The dip down is just an aggravation for me, whatever the reason. So, we bought a regular dining room table with a leaf, and it’s a pedestal, so the legs don’t get in the way of seating and there’s a space in the pedestal for cat beds. It looks good, it’s solid and it was only $400. A little over 7 feet long, it will fit perfectly in the basement space when it gets here in 3 weeks! We will have to pick it up from the furniture store, but that’s okay. I had DarkKnight get a credit card to the store and we charged the $400 (his limit was insanely high though) just to get another active line on his credit report. It was 12 months no interest. Lol We will be paying in full next month.

I’m now on the hunt for chairs and I know I want them to be cushy AF. I am tired of playing these ass burner games and be on hard plank wood chairs. I couldn’t find anything that I liked at the store so I am going to do some searches online over the next couple of weeks.

I’ve been saving ideas on Pinterest for decorating and I found this amazing feature wall that is all board game boxes and actual boards. I am going to try and recreate it. I have 4-5 totes full of old style board games and I think they will look fabulous on the wall. I am hoping command strips will stick to the cinder block walls though! I am excited to get started on this project!
 
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The game room sounds fantastic! I've filled shelves and cubbies in my living room with board games, and now I'm having to store them *under* the shelves. Lol. My kids are sick of playing board games, but luckily Gameboy is always up for a game. :)

Enjoy the table, and maybe a pic of the finished storage when you're done? I'm always into storage ideas... especially now that I've gotten back into crochet (and learned to knit recently), and need room for all my yarn now too! It's a sickness, lol.
 
I will def link to photos when we are done. I was super excited to start digging through my old game stash since I haven’t looked at it in like 9 months, minimum. However, I woke up to cat pee on the counter this morning, so I had to stop and sanitize all of that. Then I came downstairs and my period had started, and for some reason it took forever to get my Diva Cup in place. I also need to sweep and scrub the floor in the new game room space because for once it is completely empty and that means this will be the only time to really get it done as a deep clean. I had talked to our new cleaning person and she said she would take a look at it next Wednesday when she comes again but I am wanting to get this project started now. So that means I will be on my hands and knees scrubbing today.

I still super excited though.
 
Well I caved and did some of the work in the basement myself - I pulled out the huge shop vac and went over the entire floor twice. Now it just needs to be scrubbed, and I ran out of time on that. My youngest came over (to return our small shop vac that she borrowed) and was as excited as I was about this project. Together we dug out the totes full of old board games I had collected. I thought I had 4, maybe 5 totes full, but I actually had 7 totes and even more games stacked up. Oops! Anyway, we spent over an hour pulling out every game, removing the board and stacking those up, and putting all the pieces into sorted piles. We kept some of the lids to the boxes as well, but everything else got trashed. It was fun to see some of the old school games, and some of them I actually didn’t deconstruct because they were REALLY old. I have a 1934 version of Tiddlywinks!

I am off on vacation now and so more will happen with that project when I come back home.

I was trying to shut down my phone completely while I am off with MisterMoonbeam, but of course nothing is ever that easy. While I was packing before we left yesterday, BugGirl called me and she was experiencing a lot of pain. She ended up going to Urgent Care, and they sent her to the ER. First for a sonogram, and then for a CAT scan. They let her go home around midnight, with antibiotics. She has an inflamed pancreas and a UTI. Her boyfriend was also messaging me - he was REALLY pissed. The hospital gave her morphine while there, and we are both now really worried this may trigger a relapse with her recovery. :( I don’t think there is anything we can do about that except worry.
 
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