I have been married to my wife for 7 years in March. She has shown some signs that something was missing for a little bit, but it really started coming through over the past year. She went on a girls trip with a friend, there was some drinking involved. Long story short, she was having feelings for one of the other girls that was there, sober. I didn’t want her to have any regrets about not knowing who she was inside, and I pushed her to make a dating profile. Well in November, she started talking to a girl, they met in several times December and recently, and a few days ago she told me that they hooked up. I was devastated after she told me a few things about her experience. And then I was hit with the news “I’m pretty sure I am gay.” I have been more than supporting prior to this, I did not anticipate being devastated about them hooking up, and I really didn’t expect to get hit with the news of “I’m gay”, I thought she would have said I’m bi. We have been talking about everything that both of us have been feeling, trying to break everything down for each other to understand, and I am having a hard time with my own emotions still. Part of why I am struggling with them so much is that, I have to mask part of what I am feeling. I don’t want how I feel to conflict in her new relationship, and I know that if she truly knew how I felt, she would put her new relationship on hold. I am slowly starting to feel better, but there are things that trigger some of the worst feelings. I am about a month in to a new job and am waiting on insurance to kick in to go to therapy or counseling; but, in the meantime, I just need some help talking out how I feel in a healthy manner. Whether it’s on this site or if anyone knows of like an online support group, I would greatly appreciate it. I have to hide my inner turmoil around her family (she was raised in a very conservative household and she doesn’t want them to know until we get some distance between us), and I am generally an open person when it comes to what I am going through. We do plan on staying together and I did ask for her permission to disclose this info.