Myers Briggs and polyamory.
- Thread starter redsirenn
- Start date
Huh.. I think you're on to something here. I'm an INFP, and a practitioner of the myers Briggs type indicator. In my professional opinion, any type would be amenable to poly, but the ones who are NF's, especially so, since were tied to living our values and protecting them. Personal opinion? Anyone can live effectively in a poly lifestyle.
Id love to do a study on the population.
Keep in mind the driving force for an NF is preserving or creating harmony. Sometimes it takes more people to have harmony. Also makes it hard to balance.
Id love to do a study on the population.
Keep in mind the driving force for an NF is preserving or creating harmony. Sometimes it takes more people to have harmony. Also makes it hard to balance.
Snowbunting
New member
A study would be fascinating!
I think it would be fantastic if you did a study on the population, Djinni!
This is a fascinating thread, and it raises lots of intriguing questions concerning the relationship between poly and personality.
For instance, why do INFPs seem to be much more prevalent here than they do in the general population? (I'm an INFP too, and I can't help but be intrigued by this question - my impression has long been that INFPs are relatively rare, but we seem to be a dime a dozen here on the board...) Djinni, you've just spoken to this question, as have others in the thread, but it would be so interesting to see the results of a few full-blown studies. (If only there were poly-friendly organizations with large of sums of money who were chomping at the bit to fund such studies!)
I can't help but wonder - have there been any studies at all on the intersection between polyamory and the Myers-Briggs type indicator? It seems not... More generally, when it comes to polyamory, it seems like there's a ton of fascinating new territory for all kinds of people to explore - social scientists, psychologists, novelists, film makers, artists of other sorts...
Anyway, again, this is such an interesting thread! Thanks to everyone who has contributed.
I think it would be fantastic if you did a study on the population, Djinni!
This is a fascinating thread, and it raises lots of intriguing questions concerning the relationship between poly and personality.
For instance, why do INFPs seem to be much more prevalent here than they do in the general population? (I'm an INFP too, and I can't help but be intrigued by this question - my impression has long been that INFPs are relatively rare, but we seem to be a dime a dozen here on the board...) Djinni, you've just spoken to this question, as have others in the thread, but it would be so interesting to see the results of a few full-blown studies. (If only there were poly-friendly organizations with large of sums of money who were chomping at the bit to fund such studies!)
I can't help but wonder - have there been any studies at all on the intersection between polyamory and the Myers-Briggs type indicator? It seems not... More generally, when it comes to polyamory, it seems like there's a ton of fascinating new territory for all kinds of people to explore - social scientists, psychologists, novelists, film makers, artists of other sorts...
Anyway, again, this is such an interesting thread! Thanks to everyone who has contributed.
MonoVCPHG
New member
I don't think you will find a lot of ISTJ poly people. I am an ISTJ but I am also very monogamous (in how I form singular bonds with a romantic partner). I definitely see trends in the social backgrounds and values of people who are poly. Not everyone is included in this but there are some very common shared interests and opinions.
No cheating..that's where I see ISTJ's excelling, usually because they can't see beyond the conditioned norms.
No cheating..that's where I see ISTJ's excelling, usually because they can't see beyond the conditioned norms.
River
Well-known member
Hah! I had sent an email to my dear friend, Snowbunting, earlier today, not knowing that she had posted this here yesterday. In that email I asked her what her Keirsey / MB type was. You see, I was almost certain she must also be an INFP (like me, like my boyfriend), 'cause we can't keep track of how many things we share in common. (Dozens and dozens, at least!)
(Carl Sagon would say ... Billions and billions.)
In so many ways she resembles the female version of myself. Or do I resemble the male version of herself? Hmm.
BTW, I think the statistic was that INFPs are the rarest of the types, and only about 1% of the overall population.
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River
Well-known member
Hypothesis as to why there are so many INFPs among the poly folk here:
Keirsey calls the INFP, The Healer. > Healers generally need some healing; it's part of the job description > intensive intimacy with multiple partners is intrinsically healing for us, because of contrast and difference in individuals. (No one person can figuratively and literally touch us in all of the places we need to be touched, in order than we can serve as Healer.)
All good healers are folks who have suffered severe or significant wounds. The Healer is so sensitive that his/her wounds are intensified by that sensitivity.
Keirsey calls the INFP, The Healer. > Healers generally need some healing; it's part of the job description > intensive intimacy with multiple partners is intrinsically healing for us, because of contrast and difference in individuals. (No one person can figuratively and literally touch us in all of the places we need to be touched, in order than we can serve as Healer.)
All good healers are folks who have suffered severe or significant wounds. The Healer is so sensitive that his/her wounds are intensified by that sensitivity.
MonoVCPHG
New member
River
Well-known member
Maybe INFP's just are more inclined to write on a forum such as this one? After all, only about 1% write on here while the other 99% lurk... maybe we are just not lurkers?
Maybe so. But we cannot survey the lurkers. They'll lurk the survey.
Catalyst
New member
My two cents
I just have to say, as a former Psychology major, this thread is entirely too fascinating!
Here is what mine came out to today:
Ta-dah, your personality type is ISTJ!
Introverted (I) 89%
Extraverted (E) 11%
Sensing (S) 50%
Intuitive (N) 50%
Thinking (T) 85%
Feeling (F) 15%
Judging (J) 64%
Perceiving (P) 36%
Years ago I took this type of test as part of a retreat in my youth group - Conservative Baptist upbringing - and I was actually INFP then.
Then, when I first got divorced, I was in a workshop hosted by a Presbyterian Church in our town, and I came out ESTJ.
Now I tend to vary somewhat, depending on the day, my mood, the status of my meds - did I mention I am also bi-polar? (My psychiatrist says I am hypo-manic.)
I have discussed this at length with my psychologist (I have the PsyD for talk therapy and the MD for the meds), and he says that the E and I interchange is actually common in some people. Some people can adapt very well to being extroverted in many situations, but then are introverted to recharge their batteries. I find that I am a lot like my parents on this - we all are very social when out and about or when at work, but when we get back home, to our "retreat", we need to wind down and not have outside distractions. My BF doesn't quite understand it - he doesn't understand why I don't like having people over to the house. My home is my own private area where I need to keep my introverted self separated from my extroverted self and the rest of the world.
As for poly, as I used to test INFP, I don't know if maybe that had something to do with my formative years, and perhaps I have always been poly (I am working this out in a very long fashion in my life story blog). Or perhaps now from the ISTJ perspective, as I thoroughly enjoy learning and researching and studying and analyzing, I simply have found a terminology and subject and group of supportive people who make sense to me, and who explain the way I have felt my whole life in a way that works for me.
I just know that, after discovering the word Polyamory in 2007, and devouring information on the topic since then, it makes more sense to me than the way I was living my life before. Though I admire, and crave, morals and values and structure, I also am always the first to question authority or the status quo, so perhaps a part of my personality says to society at large - why? Why does it have to be this way? Who says? Where does it say? What law is it breaking?
I heard a great line on a show once - not sure if it was a sporting event or a general TV show - "Rules are like the gates in slalom skiing: you get as close to them as possible without breaking them." That can be so true! While I respect rules, or laws, or even traditions, I still see the value in bending or challenging them - because in reality they serve a better purpose as a guideline rather than a set in stone mantra. The attraction to non-monogamy often times comes from a seeking out of something that non-conformists find can conform to their way of life, and not necessarily the other way around.
>^^<
I just have to say, as a former Psychology major, this thread is entirely too fascinating!
Here is what mine came out to today:
Ta-dah, your personality type is ISTJ!
Introverted (I) 89%
Extraverted (E) 11%
Sensing (S) 50%
Intuitive (N) 50%
Thinking (T) 85%
Feeling (F) 15%
Judging (J) 64%
Perceiving (P) 36%
Years ago I took this type of test as part of a retreat in my youth group - Conservative Baptist upbringing - and I was actually INFP then.
Then, when I first got divorced, I was in a workshop hosted by a Presbyterian Church in our town, and I came out ESTJ.
Now I tend to vary somewhat, depending on the day, my mood, the status of my meds - did I mention I am also bi-polar?
(My psychiatrist says I am hypo-manic.)I have discussed this at length with my psychologist (I have the PsyD for talk therapy and the MD for the meds), and he says that the E and I interchange is actually common in some people. Some people can adapt very well to being extroverted in many situations, but then are introverted to recharge their batteries. I find that I am a lot like my parents on this - we all are very social when out and about or when at work, but when we get back home, to our "retreat", we need to wind down and not have outside distractions. My BF doesn't quite understand it - he doesn't understand why I don't like having people over to the house. My home is my own private area where I need to keep my introverted self separated from my extroverted self and the rest of the world.
As for poly, as I used to test INFP, I don't know if maybe that had something to do with my formative years, and perhaps I have always been poly (I am working this out in a very long fashion in my life story blog). Or perhaps now from the ISTJ perspective, as I thoroughly enjoy learning and researching and studying and analyzing, I simply have found a terminology and subject and group of supportive people who make sense to me, and who explain the way I have felt my whole life in a way that works for me.
I just know that, after discovering the word Polyamory in 2007, and devouring information on the topic since then, it makes more sense to me than the way I was living my life before. Though I admire, and crave, morals and values and structure, I also am always the first to question authority or the status quo, so perhaps a part of my personality says to society at large - why? Why does it have to be this way? Who says? Where does it say? What law is it breaking?
I heard a great line on a show once - not sure if it was a sporting event or a general TV show - "Rules are like the gates in slalom skiing: you get as close to them as possible without breaking them." That can be so true! While I respect rules, or laws, or even traditions, I still see the value in bending or challenging them - because in reality they serve a better purpose as a guideline rather than a set in stone mantra. The attraction to non-monogamy often times comes from a seeking out of something that non-conformists find can conform to their way of life, and not necessarily the other way around.
>^^<
detritus
New member
When I take the test I usually come out either INTP or INFP--but always I, N, and P. I used to be very interested in personality typing, both with Myers-Briggs and the enneagram. I don't know if INFP is necessarily more common among the polyamorous, but I do know that it's a personality type that tends to like forums.
MyNameIsMaam
New member
Behavior Styles - not personality styles
Dr William Moulton Marston spent an entire academic and professional career (1920s-50s) researching and writing about "normal" (meaning not a psychopath) human behavior - what it is and what triggers it, and how some people react one way while other react in different ways.
He understood that our behaviors are chosen, selectively - not just the way we are hard wired and there didn't seem to be huge differences in gender as there were in ages.
He has a lot of writings which are kind of fun to read and think about WHEN they were written.
He was in a long-term poly relationship and one of his wives really helped him formalize their ideas around the ability to scientifically detect when a person was lying - and he is credited as the inventor of the modern day lie detector.
Most interesting to me is that as a creative type of person, he penned the carton Wonder Woman to reflect his personal and professional beliefs about women.
So if this kind of stuff floats your boat, have fun!
http://www.discprofile.com/williammoultonmarston.htm
Dr William Moulton Marston spent an entire academic and professional career (1920s-50s) researching and writing about "normal" (meaning not a psychopath) human behavior - what it is and what triggers it, and how some people react one way while other react in different ways.
He understood that our behaviors are chosen, selectively - not just the way we are hard wired and there didn't seem to be huge differences in gender as there were in ages.
He has a lot of writings which are kind of fun to read and think about WHEN they were written.
He was in a long-term poly relationship and one of his wives really helped him formalize their ideas around the ability to scientifically detect when a person was lying - and he is credited as the inventor of the modern day lie detector.
Most interesting to me is that as a creative type of person, he penned the carton Wonder Woman to reflect his personal and professional beliefs about women.
So if this kind of stuff floats your boat, have fun!
http://www.discprofile.com/williammoultonmarston.htm
franchescasc
New member
Love this shit
I love the Myers Briggs! I am an ESTJ-but I like to think of myself as a self-aware ESTJ which balances put my asshole tendencies lol. My husband is an INFP-complete opposites! Took us a while to learn how to talk to each other MD is an ISFP. Damn those introverts who don't like to verbally process shit! I need to find me an ENFP lol.
I love the Myers Briggs! I am an ESTJ-but I like to think of myself as a self-aware ESTJ which balances put my asshole tendencies lol. My husband is an INFP-complete opposites! Took us a while to learn how to talk to each other
MD is an ISFP. Damn those introverts who don't like to verbally process shit! I need to find me an ENFP lol.Inyourendo
New member
Estj here. I'm not religious nor do I like tradition other than wanting to be married an only cohabitate with 1 partner.
N is an intj although he's way more social than I am.
N is an intj although he's way more social than I am.
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monkeystyle
Member
I love the Myers Briggs! I am an ESTJ-but I like to think of myself as a self-aware ESTJ which balances put my asshole tendencies lol. My husband is an INFP-complete opposites! Took us a while to learn how to talk to each other
LOL, you might be talking to the wrong introverts. I'm an INFJ, and the only thing that keeps from trying to verbally process things is a room without people in it.
Malfunktions
New member
I just took the test again after taking it in school 7 years ago. I am not really surprised to find I tested as ESFP:
But the Internet makes ESFP's out to be big attention seeking sluts!
But like Mouse told me, the Internet likes to exaggerate a lot.
But the Internet makes ESFP's out to be big attention seeking sluts!
But like Mouse told me, the Internet likes to exaggerate a lot.
franchescasc
New member
Introverts and verbal processing
LOL monkeystyle! My ISFP doesn't verbally process at all-though she's making an effort for our relationship, and I'm making the effort to adjust my expectations for words of affirmation (my love language) from her. I'm a Virgo and she's a Scorpio.....where does that kind of thing play into personality types lol?!
LOL monkeystyle! My ISFP doesn't verbally process at all-though she's making an effort for our relationship, and I'm making the effort to adjust my expectations for words of affirmation (my love language) from her. I'm a Virgo and she's a Scorpio.....where does that kind of thing play into personality types lol?!
NovemberRain
New member
I am an ENFP, and my test was administered by an nurse who was doing her certification hours to be a psychologist or something. She was certified by the organization that 'owns' the Meyers-Briggs instrument. She showed me that my F/T scale was very close to the center, and explained that many women (at least in my age range, I don't know if it's different now) were socialized out of the 'thinking.' I thought that was really interesting.
She also showed me the percentages of types in the general population. I'm fairly certain FBF is an ISTJ, which is like 1%.
For those tracking or interested in such things, I'm also a double-libra, with a sagittarius moon (I have like one earth planet, everything is air)(my chart looks weird), and a metal rat.
The DiSC profile is supposed to be behaviour based, which is different than personality. I was surprised to find that I lead with S (which I think stands for steady - I like rules and making sure stuff happens in accordance with them)(libra/justice?). My second highest was i.
I find it all very interesting, and useful ways to talk about stuff, as long as no one takes it as something written in stone. It's not prescriptive, it's descriptive.
She also showed me the percentages of types in the general population. I'm fairly certain FBF is an ISTJ, which is like 1%.
For those tracking or interested in such things, I'm also a double-libra, with a sagittarius moon (I have like one earth planet, everything is air)(my chart looks weird), and a metal rat.
The DiSC profile is supposed to be behaviour based, which is different than personality. I was surprised to find that I lead with S (which I think stands for steady - I like rules and making sure stuff happens in accordance with them)(libra/justice?). My second highest was i.
I find it all very interesting, and useful ways to talk about stuff, as long as no one takes it as something written in stone. It's not prescriptive, it's descriptive.
Vinceklortho
New member
ENFP. Very much so. My ex was an ENTP, although her E/I was pretty close to the middle.
Not sure about the current gf. If I had to guess I'd say she's probably an INTJ or an INTP.
Not sure about the current gf. If I had to guess I'd say she's probably an INTJ or an INTP.