Carmina
Member
Yes I need to feel secure and that will help
Needing support
- Thread starter Carmina
- Start date
Carmina
Member
I did ok again, the second night was harder though.
I have started an OK Cupid profile experimentally (well revamped an old one) but not sure it will come to anything - for one thing OKC has become ridiculously expensive since I last used it, but also I'm not sure I can cope with more than one partner.
I have started an OK Cupid profile experimentally (well revamped an old one) but not sure it will come to anything - for one thing OKC has become ridiculously expensive since I last used it, but also I'm not sure I can cope with more than one partner.
Wow that sucks about OKCupid. More expensive? I heard it was harder to use nowadays! Maybe they'll get their act together ... a guy can always hope. Where else can one turn for poly-friendly dating? FetLife I guess.
Maybe that's all a moot point, if you're not feeling eager to have a second partner.
Maybe that's all a moot point, if you're not feeling eager to have a second partner.
Carmina
Member
Yeah it's over £50 a month now - I think last time I was using it I was paying 15 maybe 20 at most. Plus I can't see any way to message anyone even if we both 'like' each other. Oh well, as you say it may be a moot point but on the other hand I would like to be able to test my own limits a little. I honestly don't know what my goals are though, we feel closer as a couple right now and it may be that's all I need, but sometimes you don't know what you are capable of until you try something. I didn't know if I could cope with this at all a couple of months back.
Without the ability to message someone on OKC, what possible point could there be in the site's existence. There are other poly-friendly dating sites and I can post a list here if you're interested, although they're probably not frequented as much as OKC. Although as I said, no matter how popular OKC is, what's the point if members can't message each other?
It sounds like your confidence and ability have extended somewhat in recent months; I hope you can find a way to test yourself. There is of course always getting out there and meeting people in real life (meatspace). But let me know if you want that list of alternative dating sites.
It sounds like your confidence and ability have extended somewhat in recent months; I hope you can find a way to test yourself. There is of course always getting out there and meeting people in real life (meatspace). But let me know if you want that list of alternative dating sites.
Carmina
Member
I guess the point is they just want people to pay now and the free tier seems to have been stripped of any utility, it's just there as a sort of honey trap. It's weird though because their help still says if you mutually like each other it should open up messaging but this isn't happening, maybe there are bugs?
HaloOnFire
Active member
Mind you, I am currently in the throes of a wicked bad sinus infection, however, my inner cynic is saying that you were correct in that it's now just a honey trap. I don't think that is a bug, so much as a feature now. Pay the 50 quid for the upgrade or you get big fat donut hole of a zero.
Carmina
Member
I've ditched my OKC account and am not actively seeking another relationship for myself. I realised I don't have the energy or inclination right now and have become accustomed, even if not entirely comfortable still, with my partner spending time away every now and then with her other partner. If anything this has brought us closer together anyway so my worries about it driving a wedge between us or (admittedly irrational) fears of being replaced, have not come to pass. I just don't think poly is for me really, I like the idea of deep commitment and have always hated dating so don't want to go back to that.
You know what? That's totally fine. Having the option to poly date but then choosing not to exercise it because you are doing just fine as it is.
You don't have to try to "keep up" with whatever your partner does or is doing. It isn't a race. It's not a competition.
You can just do YOU.
GG
You don't have to try to "keep up" with whatever your partner does or is doing. It isn't a race. It's not a competition.
You can just do YOU.
GG